


Gods & Monsters

by wannabewonderbender



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Bloodbending, F/M, slight AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-17
Updated: 2015-04-27
Packaged: 2018-01-04 23:11:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 30
Words: 158,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1086782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wannabewonderbender/pseuds/wannabewonderbender
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He will burn her but not before she drowns him. Katara is the Fire Nation's only hope at getting to the Avatar and Zuko is desperate to restore his honor. He doesn't know that she can manipulate more than just water. She knows nothing about him except his fire. What both of them don't know is that their destinies will make them Gods and Monsters. [AU]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Rated: M (language, violence, descriptions of some torture, later sexual content, the usual)
> 
> Notes: AU, slight OOC, Zutara pairing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The world is fire and ash. The Fire Nation has successfully conquered the Earth Kingdom and massacred the Air Nomads. Raids have obliterated all but two Southern Water Benders. The Northern Water Tribe and Ba Sing Se are the only places the Fire Nation has not touched.
> 
> Only a few are strong enough to fight back against the Fire: the small resistance made up of the few remaining Southern Tribe warriors, Northern waterbenders and unorganized bands of Earth guerrilla fighters. The imbalance is slowly corrupting the land.
> 
> But the Avatar has returned. The Water Tribes are fighting back. Perhaps all hope is not lost.

Another fire whip lashes across her back. Pain – the feeling of burning and ripping skin makes tears bubble at her eyes and she squeezes them closed. Katara will  _not_ cry in front of them. She will  _not_  cry here. Behind her, she hears the movement of the Fire Nation soldier and her back tenses automatically just as another lash tears across her copper colored skin.

She bites her tongue to hold back the screams. The faint taste of blood fills her mouth just before her body heals itself and the wound is sealed.

"Tell us where the Avatar is," Zhao's disgustingly false sweet voice fills her ear and she opens her eyes. He's standing in front of her. She sees the disgust behind them; the hatred of her and her kind mingles with the sick pleasure he is getting from her on her knees in front of him completely at his mercy.

Katara spits at him. There's still some blood in her mouth that she hasn't swallowed down yet and she bends it so that it hits him square in the face. " _Never_ ," she hisses in between her teeth. Then she laughs because they are fools if they think she can't take a little pain. This – while excruciating – is not even close to other tortures her own kind had inflicted upon her.

Zhao stands. The smile wipes away from his face, replaced by something cold and hard. He reaches up to wipe the spittle from his face and his eyes darken with irritation. Zhao strikes out at her fast as a cobra – his palm rubbing her own spit back in her face before he slaps her hard.

His hand is gripping her hair and he's yanking her head back so that she's forced to look up at him. His eyes are like ice; hers burn like fire.

"I will break you." He warns her. His control is slipping. Not only can Zhao feel it, but Katara can see it. And if she can see it then his crew can as well. He can't afford to look weak now… the waterbender cannot get the best of him after he failed to capture the Avatar when he was  _right there_.

A smile snakes across her lips. "Run back to  _Ozai_  with your tail between your legs and tell him how you failed. You're better off killing me so that I won't send you and your crew to a watery grave."

Zhao stares at her. His grip tightens in her hair and she's sure she can feel the pull of him ripping it out. She refuses to even flinch. Pain is something that she can accept.

He pushes his hand against her head so that she looks down again when he lets go. The Captain moves around where the waterbender is tied up in between two poles. Her arms are outstretched, clasped in metal and her hands useless to summon up any sort of bending.

A smile crosses his own lips – sick, twisted at the corners – when he sees that her back is tensing. The fabric of her blue Water Tribe clothes are ripped and stained with blood from both the whipping and the earlier attack on the Water Tribe ship.

Her waterbending blood has already healed most of the lashes. All that's left is faint pink scars and dried blood.

Zhao steps forward and grips the neckline at the back of her Water Tribe robes. He pulls, Katara tensing and tugging away from his grip, and  _rips_. A jagged tear goes down the center and he tosses the frayed ends to the sides. Now, her skin is exposed completely.

Katara feels the cool air of the sea blowing against her bare back and shivers. She's naturally used to the cold – she is from the Southern Poles, after all – but the blood speckled across her back and the healing skin's hypersensitivity to the elements amplifies the chill.

She wrenches at her metal clasps but they don't give way. Clenching her jaw again, Katara tilts her chin up and forward, bracing herself against the wooden floor for another round of lashing by spreading her knees out just a little. Her legs are starting to get a little sore.

"Pity," Zhao says from somewhere behind her. "I would have hoped that we would have to take care of you after this; but it looks like you are already doing that."

"I wouldn't have let any of you touch me," she retorts angrily and she means it. She silently dares any of the men to lay a hand on her. She will drown them before they can even blink; she will boil and freeze their blood as they scream in agony before she clenches her fist and makes their veins explode.

Zhao seems to ignore her attempt at fighting back with words. "We'll just have to try a little harder to mar that pretty skin of yours." He turns to look at the firebender solider that's been whipping her. "Stop when she is no longer able to heal herself."

He looks back at the waterbender just in time to see her entire body go stiff with a sharp inhale. That sickening smile spreads across his face and he steps away to allow the bender ample enough room paint her back with searing slashes and blood.

-/-

She's coiled up on a pallet in the cell when she first recognizes the efforts of her body trying to heal itself.

Three hours. It took the firebenders three hours of repeated, uninterrupted lashing before her body finally caved from exhaustion and could no longer heal.

She had collapsed against the chains after the first hour; didn't even bother holding back her screams after the second. Zhao had gotten what he wanted and she had passed out as soon as they had unchained her from the posts.

Katara winces as her body naturally tries to reach into her energy reserves. She hasn't been able to soak up the moon to restore herself and Zhao hasn't brought her any water or any other sort of liquid that she might be able to use to revitalize her body.

The moon is in the sky though. She can tell despite the fact that there's no window and it's dark in the cells deep within the ship. Katara can still feel the pull and it's almost painful that she isn't outside to soak it all in. When she was on the Water Tribe ship, she slept outside so that her body could absorb the moon's power.

Now all of that storage was depleted after a mere three hours on a Fire Nation ship.

She probably should be proud of herself – despite the fact that she is a little angry that she had given up on the deck earlier, she can't dismiss the fact that it took them  _three hours_  to wear her out and even then she hadn't said a word about Aang or Sokka or her dad's ships.

Still, the taste of a defeat is bitter in her mouth. Not only had she been captured but she had let them take away all of her bending energy. Katara lifts her hand to try to draw out some moisture from the air but she's so tired that her hand barely gets wet. She was almost defenseless now.

There's some energy left deep within her blood. She can feel that, at least. It was the only thing she could hold onto while she was tied between the posts. But she will only use that in a dire emergency. If she uses it now, she's not sure if she will be able to remain awake long enough to do any sort of damage to the ship or crew.

Katara struggles to sit up, wincing at the stiffness of her back and tries not to rip open the wounds as she does so. Her body may be low on energy but the healing in her blood has managed to scab over the wounds enough so that she doesn't have to worry about ripping them open if she is careful.

Her biggest concern is infection. She's been able to treat burn wounds well enough when she was on her own ship but now that she doesn't have a healer and her body isn't reliable at the moment, she's a little skeptical about how it's going to go. Especially since she's down in the dirty lower levels of Zhao's vessel. This place can't be that clean.

If her wounds do get infected then that's going to be a problem all on its own. Her body will focus its energy on clearing that out rather than building her strength back up again so that she can fight her way out of here.

She's still dressed in the pathetic remnants of her Water Tribe clothes. They're ripped, bloodied and her entire back is exposed except in the areas where the fabric has stuck to the blood. She's cold – chilled and her skin feels clammy and dirty. What she wants to do is take a nice shower to clean off the stickiness of blood but she knows Zhao will burn himself to death before allowing her to be that close to her source of power.

Katara starts playing with the end of her ragged braid. If she could just gather up the strength, she's sure that she can get out of here. Zhao is too easily controlled by his emotions and his failure at getting to Aang really messed him up. He's volatile, which makes him either really irrational or very dangerous. She hasn't really decided which it was yet.

Too bad Sokka wasn't here. He would be able to team up with her to really get into Zhao's head and then they would really have a chance to get out and go back to Aang so that –

Katara hears the sound of the cellar door opening and her hands freeze on her braid. She pauses, listening carefully and hears the sounds of several pairs of heavy boots on the steps. Carefully but as quickly as she can manage, Katara slides on the floor so that she's lying down again.

If they see that she's awake and well enough, they may give a repeat performance of earlier.

Someone has a fire in their hands. Katara lies on her side so that her exposed back doesn't touch the dirty floor but still tries to look down through the cell door to the outside. There are some shadows on the crates on the wall opposite her cell: four shapes, tall with Fire Nation topknots.

They step into her line of sight and she closes her eyes, feigning sleep. It's something that she's become good at. Otherwise, she would have been the one to swab the deck every morning rather than Sokka.

Katara hears a key being twisted and the door to her cell creaks open. Hands grip her arm and she's hauled up. Her eyes fly open and she instantly starts wiggling. She will  _not_  let them touch her –

She's backhanded across the face and she sags against the soldier holding her up.

Her legs start flying. She's kicking, bracing herself against the man who's still holding her and she fells his other hand grip her wrist as he pulls her backwards until the two are up against the wall.

"Don't  _touch me_  you –" She's snarling.

" _Stop_  tribeswoman." The soldier behind her hisses into her ear but she keeps squirming. One soldier manages to catch her ankle – she's getting sluggish, fatigue making her eyes spot and she's already sweating – and she kicks another in the head before that ankle is latched onto as well.

Now's she held up completely by three firebenders. In a cell. With her clothes falling off her body. Her body is shaking from the exertion but that doesn't erase the scowl that's on her face and the heated warning in her eyes.

It takes a lot of energy to find a man's heart but she's desperate and –

They're walking out of the cell. Her body is comically held out between the three men. They hold her as if she weighs practically nothing but she can tell that her relentless fidgeting isn't making their job any easier.

"We're not going to touch you if that's what you're worried about." The soldier behind her says with an almost disgusted tone in his voice. Katara's almost insulted.

"You're  _touching_  me now," she reminds him and tries to wrench her wrists away from him. She would need to take out the two holding her legs first then the one behind her and the one that's in front of them. Maybe if she tries really hard she can do it.

He scoffs behind her. She kicks her legs and manages to push her boot into the chest plate of one of the soldiers.

Katara is a little worried that they're going to drop her on purpose as they walk up the steps. She's still not sure where they're taking her, and there's an uncomfortable feeling deep in the pit of her stomach that worries her. Surely they're not…

She gets her answer when they turn towards the back cabins rather than the front. She knows enough of the layout of the ship to know that's where Zhao is, though knowing that's where the soldiers are taking her isn't any more comforting.

Her legs are set on the ground but before she can start lashing out again, the man behind her cuffs her wrists with metal at the small of her back. She immediately starts tugging at them.

"If you don't behave, we'll cuff your ankles too," he warns her low in her ear and she jerks away from him.

When she shoots him a glare of her shoulder, he's smirking, clearly amused at her and she turns back around. If she could bend, that smile would have split his face clean in half. Who would be amused  _then_?

But she can't bend. Katara needs to save her strength for the dire situations. Being taken to the crew was definitely one of them. Being taken to Zhao…well, she can take on man if she can get her hands on a weapon. He doesn't seem like the type of man who would rape her. He hates her too much.

Still, she isn't disillusioned. She's on a ship full of soldiers who could overtake her in a moment now that she is too tired to bend. Being a prisoner comes with  _perks_  like that. Katara's also from the Southern Water Tribe, a nation known for their shapely and beautiful women. She wasn't blind to their glances earlier. Now that her clothes are half-falling off and her bindings are the only thing really keeping her from being exposed, she isn't sure  _what_  the men are thinking.

Nor does she really want to know either. They can have their daydreams and fantasies. But if they so much as touch her…

Zhao's door is opening and the soldier behind her nudges her forward. Katara notices that he doesn't touch her back at all even though he  _could_  and she's a little grateful. Her skin is still oversensitive and she's had enough painful moments for the day.

The first thing that she notices when she's in the room is that Zhao isn't alone. There's a young man, maybe a year or two older than her seventeen years standing off to the side. When she comes in, his eyes don't automatically go to her but she knows that he's aware of her presence. He stays facing Zhao who's sitting behind his desk.

"If that isn't the Avatar that just came in, I'm not interested," the young man spits out. Zhao glares at him, and then looks back to Katara. She holds her head up high and straightens her back.

"I already told you, Prince Zuko. The Avatar –"

" _Got. Away_. Yes, I know of your incompetence. What I  _don't_  know is why you're bringing this prisoner to me when I instructed that I wanted to see the Avatar and the Avatar only."

"Your attempts at humiliating me are weak. You've been searching for the Avatar for as long as I have. Yet, I am the only one who has managed to take someone  _close_  to the Avatar." Zhao motions to Katara.

_Prince Zuko_  finally looks at her and she meets his stare unflinchingly. She's not going to back down from the petulant man. Sure, she's not the Avatar by any means. But Katara knows her importance. This man – boy, child,  _whatever_  – is stupid for not understanding that at all. Zhao may have failed, but he isn't foolish. It was why he kept her alive.

Katara notices that the Prince could be handsome… if not for the scar that covers his left eye and the top of his left cheek. His hair isn't in a topknot and he's not dressed in royal robes. But there's haughtiness and self-assuredness that screams  _royal blood_  and an unpleasant taste fills her mouth.

Ozai's son.

"She barely looks alive," he notes, his gold-colored eyes washing over her form fleetingly. "What importance is she to the Avatar?"

"She's his girl."

"I am  _not_." This time she's more than a little insulted. Aang and she were strictly platonic – there was  _nothing_  romantic and it was unnerving how many times people assumed differently.

The Prince quirks an eyebrow. "So they're close?"

"Obviously." Zhao stands and steps from behind the desk to walk towards her. Katara stands her ground but she draws herself to her full height, switching her attention from the idiotic Prince to the Captain before her. "The Avatar will be looking for her."

He reaches up to tuck loose stands of her hair behind her ear and she has to force herself to not jerk away.

"He won't." Katara says. "Aang won't fall for any trap that you try to set. You're better off throwing me over the side of the ship and keep trying –  _failing_  – to catch him."

"Is she a waterbender?" The Prince asks. "You should take her to the Rock if she is."

Instead of answering, Zhao grips the fabric of her clothes and makes another rip at her lower right hip. The skin etching sign for waterbenders is there plain as day in the light of the torches that illuminate the room. Her etching has always been a badge of honor – it's strictly a Water Tribe thing – and she naturally puffs out her chest a bit like Sokka does when he catches a fish.

"Barbarians," Zhao murmurs low and lets go of the fabric. Her etching is still exposed and the two men are still looking at it. "Marking up such  _beautiful_  skin."

Katara notices that the Prince's eye flicker from her scarred-over skin to Zhao.

"The Rock it is," the Prince says.

Zhao's head snaps to Zuko. "And give up our one advantage over the Avatar?"

The Prince shrugs and Katara wonders if that scar on his face messes with his brain. "She already said the Avatar won't come looking for her. What's the point of keeping her around?"

"Oh, Prince Zuko there are  _plenty_  of other reasons to keep someone like her around other than to be used as bait –"

"Lay  _one hand_  on me, Zhao, and I will make sure that you will  _never_  lay hands on another again," Katara hisses, anger flashing in her eyes. She will  _never, ever_  be used like that. It's not the worst thing that can happen. But  _still_. Zhao – he  _disgusts_  her. If he so much as tried to do something like that, she would have no second thoughts or regrets about killing him in the most agonizing of ways.

Zhao gives her an amused look instead of replying to her.

"The Fire Lord would rather her be put in the prison. You cannot keep her here as a slave unless he allows it. You know how he is with female captives; if there is an interest in one, he'd rather see her for himself before he makes a decision."

"Yes, I know very well how the Fire Lord works,  _Prince_. There is no need to try to educate me on the matter."

"Besides, from the look of her I'd say she wouldn't last more than a few more days. You don't take good care of your prisoners, do you Zhao? Just  _look_  at her."

Zhao stiffens at the insult. "An interrogation technique –"

"Did it work?"

The Captain pauses. Katara smiles.

"I didn't think so."

"How I deal with my captives is none of your concern." There's a new bitterness in Zhao's voice. Something about the Prince's accusations is setting him on edge. Maybe this Zuko isn't as much of an idiot as she originally thought. Actually, she quite  _likes_  –

"It is my concern when the captive is an enemy of the Fire Nation. I request that you hand her over to my ship so that I can insure that she makes it alive to the Rock so that her interrogations might actually have results."

– Never mind. She rather hates him.

"It was  _my_  crew that captured her. You just want to lure the Avatar for yourself by using her as bait!"

"Whether or not the prisoner is even close to the Avatar is up for debate. The Fire Lord would rather have the captive interrogated correctly and efficiently at the Rock before we try to lure the Avatar into a trap that could more than likely be a waste of time and possibility."

"She's  _my_  prisoner."

"Since you two  _clearly_  are not going to come to a compromise, might I suggest a third option? You two could preserve the peace and just let me go. I don't want to be the cause of such a large disagreement like this."

Katara swears that she sees the corner of the Prince's lips perk upwards for a scant second before the calm, stoic demeanor takes over again. "She's not just  _your_ prisoner, Captain. She's the Fire Nation's." The Prince pretends to ignore her comment.

Zhao steps directly in between her and the Prince. Katara's eyes narrow – she doesn't  _need_  to be protected like she's his property; but that's what he's doing. He's acting as if she really is his to deal with as she wishes. She supposes this is sort of correct – he did capture her and she is in his ship as a prisoner – but  _still_. It's more than infuriating.

"You're not going to take the one chance I have at capturing the Avatar away from me," he hisses to the Prince. There's real malice in his voice and for once, Katara is actually a tad frightened at that.

"She isn't just your chance, Captain. She's the Fire Nation's –"

" _I don't care._  Where was the Fire Nation this afternoon? Where were they when I was able to track down the Southern Water Tribe ship and capture the Avatar's close friend? The Fire Nation is not responsible for this capture –  _I am_. So it is my right and duty to deal with my captive as I see  _fit_. It is my responsibility to the crown to track down the Avatar. I will do so with the help and cooperation of my prisoner."

Katara inches back a step.

Prince Zuko is quiet for once. Katara wonders if he's as worried about Zhao's temperament as she is. There is nothing on this world more frightening than a man who is so dedicated to his duty that it drives him mad. She's seen it happen before. It rarely ends in happiness.

"Very well." The Prince says but there's something about that that strikes her odd. He's not  _really_  giving up even though it sounds like he is… "Look after your captive, Captain. I hope that she is able to survive your  _interrogations_ long enough to give you the information that you want."

He walks briskly past her, his eyes flickering to hers for the briefest of moments and she sees something strange in them. It's like what was in his words. The Prince sounds like he's giving up but she can see and hear that he really isn't.

Katara's alone with Zhao. His back is still to her. He's stiff, large fists tightly clenched at his sides and she can see that he's staring at the wall in front of him. She's tried to shut down all of her waterbending abilities to conserve strength so she can't tell how fast his heart his beating or how quickly his heated blood is rushing through his body.

Then again, she isn't too sure that she needs waterbending in order to be able to figure that out.

There are a few tense, awkward moments of Katara waiting for Zhao to turn around and… dismiss her or something. She's just staring at him and making notes of his posture – stiff, hardened and he's wearing his anger on his body like he had earlier on the deck. He really should try to work on that.

When he does turn around though, Katara can't help but flinch. His eyes are as angry as his body and they're so dark even though they should be gold. It doesn't take him but a single step and an outstretched hand to grab at her. She can't even dig her heels to slow herself down as he hauls her up against his body, hand tightening around her throat and her eyes widen.

His nails are digging into the sides of her neck and she's sure that he's going to kill her as she gasps for breath – This wasn't how she was supposed to die. She's a  _warrior_. She shouldn't die with her hands behind her back with a man's hand around her throat – he's  _squeezing_  – and she can't  _breathe_  and it  _hurts_  and she's –

– Zhao lets go and she drops onto the floor onto her knees. She almost falls forward completely but she manages to catch herself as she sucks in delicious, cool air. Her chest racks with coughs from the sudden intake and her eyes are burning with tears.

She can feel him staring down at her. He likes this. Seeing her kneeled in front of him. But he's a  _coward_. Both times that he's hurt her have been with her hands tied and when she can't even fight back. If she wasn't restrained when he attacked her, even the Spirits wouldn't be able to save him.

He shifts and lowers himself down so that he can look her in the eyes. His hand grips her chin tightly and he yanks her head up. She coughs purposefully in his face. Zhao doesn't even flinch.

"You will tell me where the Avatar is hiding one way or another, waterbender. You have the power to make it as painless as possible. Just know that no matter what you do, I  _will_  get the secrets out of you."

Katara doesn't have to try very hard to muster up the hate that shows through her eyes. "You're just going to have to kill me, Zhao. I'm not telling you  _anything_."

"Oh I believe you will. I can be very persuasive when I need to be." A sick smile spreads across his face. "What you experienced this afternoon? That was only to wear you down. It was  _only_  the beginning. I have more than a few tricks up my sleeve."

"Good. Because I have a few tricks of my own to share."

He slaps her. Katara's head whips to the side and her loose hair falls in her face as she sucks in a breath. She sort of expected it, but that doesn't stop the pain blossoming at her cheek even though she smiles a little in victory. She got to him.

"This will be a lot easier if you just cooperated."

Katara flips the hair out of her face a she looks back at him. "You could just cooperate with me and let me go. I'm not telling you anything and quite frankly, I'm getting a little tired of having to explain that every time we meet."

Zhao exhales harshly through his nose. She anticipates another slap but he surprises her by standing. She prepares herself for a kick, but again, he moves away to sit behind his desk again. Katara gets a foot underneath her and rises as well with some difficulty but she manages it.

The guard that's been tucked away into the corner this entire time comes forward. She jumps a little when he grabs her by the arm but she lets him tug her around and back towards the door.

Zhao's door closes behind them and she lets herself take in a deep breath. If the guard notices, he doesn't point it out and she doesn't even put up a fight as he takes her back down to her familiar cell. Her metal clasps are taken off before she's put inside her cage. She immediately begins rubbing at her sore wrists as she kneels down on the pallet.

The guard locks the door and she falls back, lying on the metal floor with only the thin, worn and dirty pallet to provide some cushion. Katara waits for a few seconds, then sits up and looks at the guard who is still standing at her cell door.

"You really should make this easier on yourself," he says. "If you cooperate… Zhao might treat you better. You're only causing yourself more harm by prolonging the inevitable."

Katara rolls her eyes and lies back down. "Why do you care, firebender? Shouldn't you be enjoying my pain?"

"I enjoy no pain. Especially pain that could be avoided."

She has nothing to say to that so she doesn't speak.

"I'm just saying… You haven't seen Zhao when he's interrogating someone. I have. Maybe you should take my advice." He's gone then and she blinks into the darkness.

No. She will never talk. Not to Zhao – not to  _anyone_  who will harm Aang or her other friends.

She will die first.

-/-


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting this sooner than expected but that isn't necessarily a bad thing, right?
> 
> First, some housekeeping.
> 
> I've upped the ages of the characters in this story by two-three years. Katara is 17, Zuko is 19 and so on so forth. The characterizations of the characters are going to be different from how it was explored in the show. This is an AU, after all.
> 
> If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to drop it in the comment section or in a message. I'd be more than happy to address any concerns or q's. I'm here to serve so use me as you will.
> 
> HUGE thanks to those who kudo'ed and a big hug to Coldman9 for his wonderful comment.
> 
> Now on to the story... (which is what you really want, right?)

The guard returns for her the next afternoon.

She's waiting. It's later than she expected, but she knew that Zhao was going to send for her.

He pulls her up by her arm and she goes willingly even though she's somewhat stronger than she was last night. Sleep had done her well even though her body is so parched and dehydrated that it's ridiculous. Her blood is sluggish in her veins, her vision darkening around the edges. If she doesn't get some sort of drink soon, she isn't going to last much longer before she passes out.

The guard is patient with her as she stumbles a little when he leads her out of the room. She can feel the renewed strength in her muscles but she's just so  _parched_  that she can't do anything. Katara practically has to lean her entire body on him when they go up the stairs.

"Make it easier on yourself," he repeats to her, gently tugging her up the last step.

She blinks in response. Her mouth is so dry and her throat is sore from Zhao's attempt to strangle her yesterday that she's not even sure her words will be coherent. Why waste the energy? But she does manage to pull away from him enough to support all of her weight on her shaking legs even though he's still basically holding her up with his hand wrapped around her upper arm.

He doesn't take her to Zhao's room like she expected. Instead, she's lead outside onto the deck. The sun is so bright and low in the sky that she immediately closes her eyes and shies away from it. There is one good thing to being outside though – the ship is moving quickly and there's sea spray that goes everywhere. A few drops land on her skin and her body soaks it up instantly.

Katara is pushed down onto her knees again but her hands aren't pulled out from her sides. They don't chain her – she can't escape or bend and they know it. Her body is still too tired and dry from healing herself repeatedly the day before. She'll need more than a night's rest to recover.

When she finally feels able to open her eyes, Zhao is smirking that  _infuriating_  smirk of his. Her fists curl in and her nails dig into her skin. He's so  _maddening_.

She hasn't made a move to attack and the guard that led her here finally steps away. Katara  _wants_ to make towers of water from the ocean that surrounds her; she  _wants_  to drown them and destroy their ship with a sweep of her arm and the flick of her wrist; she  _wants_  to push Zhao into the deepest part of the ocean so that no one will ever find him again.

But she can't. She's forced to sit here: dry as bone with her hands itching at her sides to make the violent images in her mind a reality. It's the most annoying, exasperating feeling in the world and she can't help but feel so helpless and vulnerable.

She  _will_  drown them all.

"Your back has healed itself completely, I see," Zhao walks around her. Her back is exposed to the sun and the wind – but it's also absorbing in the sea spray that still splashes near her. She's only able to catch a few drops but those drops will add up and give her an energy boost, at least. They're more idiotic than she thought if they keep her out here on the deck for much longer.

"The night in the cell worked a number on you," he stops in front of her. "You look and smell even worse than you did last night. I would offer to give you a bath but… well, we can't have you try to drown me, now can we?"

"So you do have a brain," she croaks, unable to pass the chance to see that flicker in his self-control. She probably shouldn't goad him but she can't help it. It's too tempting. He responds so well. If she can make him look weak in the eyes of his men there's no telling what will happen.

Zhao doesn't take the bait though and she doesn't see much more than a flicker of anger pass in his eyes before he's steely again, putting the smirk back on like armor and she realizes just how much she hates him.

He steps forward. Katara watches him carefully, and her body stiffens when she sees a bit of malice in his stare. The pain will come soon.

The Captain reaches around to put a hand on her exposed back. She stiffens at the touch, tilting her head back to glare at him. What was he –

– searing pain rips through her body and Katara can't help but scream. He's  _burning_  her – boiling her skin with fire in his hand pressed right against her skin. She  _screams_ and  _screams_. Her throat is raw and she chokes, tears flooding her eyes as she drops down to the floor on her hands and knees. She can't move – can't rip away from the pain even though it hurts  _so bad_  and she can taste the fire licking the entire inside of her body.

Katara lifts a shaking hand to push him away but he steps down on it. Her fingers are crushed under his boot and her back is  _burning_. She's in so much pain that she can't breathe, can't move, can't  _think of anything but the pain_. It hurts  _so much_  – and it's not stopping. She's not sure how much more she can take and her vision is swimming in red and black and she can feel the burns deep inside her like her whole body is on fire. Everything is red and orange and it  _hurts_.

Zhao removes his hand and she collapses on the floor in a heap, her arms too weak to hold her up any longer.

She can't move. Her back is still throbbing with agonizing pain and her whole body is heated as if she walked through a furnace. The tears on her cheeks are hot and evaporate into steam when they touch her skin. Katara can't hold back the sobs that catch in her throat while her body shivers uncontrollably on the ground. It was like all of the fire whips combined and amplified at once.

She's in so much  _pain_.

Zhao steps off of her fingers but she doesn't even try to move them. She's sure they're broken, but right now her focus is on her burned back and how her entire body feels like a smoldering volcano.

He bends down to touch her again. This time, it's her arm. She jolts at the touch of her fabric before she screams again. The flames travel throughout her body to the pulsing of her heartbeat and she can't help but cry out in pain over and over and over again. Her heart beats and the flames are pulsated outwards in an excruciating rhythm that makes her want to die right then and there just so it will stop.

He's burned clear through her Water Tribe sleeve and the fabric either evaporates or drops to the ground beneath her. Zhao squeezes a bit tighter and the flame – and pain – intensifies. A mangled sob forces its way out of her chest and before she can stop herself, she's  _pleading._ She's  _begging_ him to stop and she doesn't even care. All she wants is the burning to stop and the pain to go away.

Zhao lets go but she's still flaming. Her body is being broiled from the inside out and she can't do anything to stop it. All she can do is lie there, take the pain and cry.

"Where is the Avatar?" Zhao demands. His voice is eerily calm, as if he didn't just nearly kill her with fire.

By the time this is over, she  _will_  kill him.

Katara can't do anything but groan. She can't even move, much less open her mouth to speak.

" _Where is the Avatar?_ "

"I –" She breaks off, unable to finish what she was going to say. She's so dry and in so much pain.

A fire whip cracks across her back and she jerks.

" _Where_  is he?" Zhao's voice is becoming strained. His 'interrogation technique' isn't working. Katara is still boiling and crying on the metal deck of the ship. Not even the salt spray helps her anymore. Zhao has burned everything in her away.

Katara winces – drawing herself away from his as much as possible. Her back pulses in pain at the movements and she instantly stills. It's  _too much_. She's experienced pain like this before – but she was so unprepared… and it hurts so much…

Zhao grabs her unburned arm and picks her up off the ground. Fresh, steaming tears fly down her cheeks as her burning body is jostled. His hand is hot and uncomfortable against her arm but he's not burning her.  _Yet_. She isn't sure how much more she can take.

"I'm going to give you  _one_  more chance, waterbender," Zhao hisses into her face. " _Where. Is. The. Avatar?"_

The anger ebbs into his hands and she's being burned again – this time by accident. But it's just enough to send her body over the edge. It finally  _is_  too much.

Her vision goes black and before she knows it, she's slipping into darkness and the agony no longer exists.

-/-

Katara comes to in her cell. She's face-down on the pallet. Her body still burns but it isn't nearly as bad as it was before. There's a splitting pain in her head that makes her clench her eyes shut even though it's just as dark in the cell as it is in her mind.

Before, she thought she felt dry; but now that seems nothing in comparison. She's been boiled and her insides feel cooked like she's been roasted for a meal. What she wouldn't do for a glass of water right now…

She shifts her shoulders to get more comfortable on the floor and winces. Her back feels like it has lava running through it. Moving is too painful right now. She can tell that it hasn't been able to heal itself. That's a little worrying – if her body hadn't been able to focus its efforts on a severe injury, she must be pretty parched. She  _really_  needs water fast.

"I'm supposed to tell Zhao when you wake," a familiar voice says – the guard's – and she wants to look to see where he's standing but knows that will only hurt. It doesn't matter anyway. It's so dark that she probably wouldn't be able to see him when she opens her eyes.

Her throat hurts too much to muster up a reply. She's surprised she can even manage to swallow.

There's some rustling behind her. Katara waits, wonders what he's up to just before she can feel the tug of her blood backwards. It's seeking what it desperately wants and she knows that it's near –  _water_. Before she can start begging for him to share, her chin is being cupped in a firm, warm hand and her head is tilted further up and to the side. It's uncomfortable, but the blessing sensation of cool water being poured into her mouth and down her throat more than makes up for it.

It's not a lot, but it's more than enough to quench her immediate thirst. She's no longer on the brink of death. She's just close to it.

She finishes the cup and then there's another. Katara nearly cries with relief but she holds it back. Wasting precious water on tears won't do anyone any good. The guard is risking a lot by giving her water – after the first, she could probably bend the other cup and kill him. She can snatch the keys from his body and get out of the cell.

But her need for water far outweighs her desire to escape right now. Her body is so dry that it's far past the point of being uncomfortable and is downright painful.

She drinks it easily and soon that cup is emptied as well. The firebender set sit down near the other and she hears him shift back. He's still near. She can hear him breathing.

Curiosity overwhelms her and she opens her mouth. "Why?" It's all that she manages to force out, but even that takes so much of her energy that she resolves it will be the last thing she says until she recovers a bit more.

Katara's eyes are still closed so she misses the gentle shrug of his shoulders. "I don't like pain. Especially unnecessary pain." She lets that sink in for a moment before he continues speaking. "Zhao's getting careless. He nearly killed you out there."

She wants to ask him why he even cares but she stops. Does  _she_  really care? All that matters is that  _he_  does. Katara feels a bit uncomfortable that it is a firebender who is saving her life; but right now all that she's trying to pay attention to is the fact that it's a  _firebender_  bringing her  _water_  so that she can  _survive_  so that she can tell someone where Aang is.

She never will though. His hopes and actions are amounting to nothing and will eventually work against him once she regains her strength. She might hesitate before killing him, but that is all that he will gain from his acts of kindness.

"I was going to bring you some food but I figured you needed the water more." Katara can hear him shift up against the wall. She wants to thank him – but then she remembers that he's supposed to be the enemy. She can't thank someone who ultimately is just being kind to her in exchange for something else.

Silence settles between the two. Katara wonders when he's going to tell Zhao that she's awake like he's supposed to.

Her head is still pounding.

Katara hears him shift again. "Zhao will be more controlled from now on, I think. A lot of the crew isn't happy with the fact that he almost killed you today. If Zhao does that then the whole crew will be punished. You're the closest we've come to getting an upper hand over the Avatar."

She won't talk. She never will. It doesn't matter if the whole crew brings her water and food. Her lips will be sealed and she'll drown them instead. They're not going to get their hands on Aang even if she has to die to ensure that.

But she is glad to hear that Zhao is losing the trust of his men bit by bit. If she can drag this out for a little longer – make him lose his cool little by little – then she's sure he will lose control entirely. It would be easy and gratifying to watch him fall. Especially with all that he is doing to her.

Katara hears something odd… She stops breathing for a moment, straining her senses to reach out to the ocean and  _feels_ it.

There's another ship nearby.

A moment after she realizes that, there's commotion overhead. She can feel the vibrations of the metal ship as soldiers run overhead. They're panicking. Their hearts are beating so fast and their blood is moving so quickly that she doesn't even have to try to reach out. She's a burned out waterbender and she can still feel the fear that's being felt above her.  _They're panicking._

There's a smashing sensation against the ship and the metal hums. Katara's eyes snap open.

They're being attacked.

The soldier at her side rises quickly. "This is going to hurt but it's the only way to get you out of here."

She opens her mouth to protest when he flips her over. The pallet scratches against the sensitive, burned flesh of her back and she cries out. He murmurs something that she can't make out as he scoops his arms underneath her knees and her back.

His metal bracers dig into her skin and she lurches forward. He almost drops her, swearing and grips her tighter.

"Please," he says to her as he kicks the cell door open. Apparently it's been unlocked the entire time. "You have to trust me. I'm not going to hurt you. Just stay quiet and don't move."

He sounds so earnest and Katara sighs. Their ship is under attack and each shattering sensation against the side of the boat jostles the two around when he tries to get them up the steps. It's painful, but not unbearable.

So, for some reason Katara decides to trust him. She wraps her arms around his neck and steadies herself against him. She grits her teeth to fight the pain. When he feels her body stiffen against his, he gives her a small, thankful smile before he runs up the steps with renewed vigor.

Katara always knew she was light but she didn't know she was  _this_  light.

There are soldiers running everywhere. Most are heading to the deck to combat the attacking ship, others are going off to the sides where she knows from experience are where the cannons are. Katara's arms tighten around him. She isn't sure what's happening.

He stays mostly to the shadows. Most of the men are too deep into the chaos to realize that the two of them are in the hallway. They're hidden well enough, she supposes, but she can see that even if they weren't, no one would be able to pay them too much attention regardless.

The ship's been hit strongly by something and the guard's shoulder and her back smacks the wall harshly. His arm soaks up most of the blow, but she still whimpers at the sensation and curls away from it.

He pushes away from the wall and starts running towards the deck. Her eyes widen when she realizes where he's going. They're heading straight for the line of fire! What –

– There is no fight when they get to the deck. The vibrations of the ship have stopped.

Zhao's men are all on their knees in front of a line of other similarly dressed Fire Nation soldiers. Zhao himself is kneeling in front of…  _Prince Zuko_? He was the one attacking Zhao's ship? Katara's eyes whip around – her headache long forgotten – and she tries to figure out just  _what_  is going on.

The Prince himself now  _looks_  like a prince should. His hair is up in the topknot and he's wearing the royal robes. His face is blank yet there is a tension there that's evident in the tightness around his good eye and the line of his lips. Katara notices that for once, he looks...  _intimidating_.

"You endangered the ability of the Fire Nation finally capturing the Avatar." Prince Zuko is saying. The guard carrying her steps closer to the two and Katara looks between the Prince and the Captain. "You nearly killed the  _one chance_  we have at tracking him down. You single-handedly nearly destroyed the best lead we have. For that, you  _will_  be punished."

Zhao is sneering. Katara notices that his arms are behind his back, held by soldiers who have his palms flat against his fabric-covered body. He can't firebend without seriously injuring himself first.

"I will take custody of the captive  _and_  of you. You are now under arrest by order of the Fire Lord. Your trial will take place in the Capital and you will face your punishment for your dishonorable, treasonous behavior."

Zuko turns away from Zhao and goes back to the platform that is connecting both ships. The guard carrying her follows him and Katara looks over the man's shoulder to see Zhao glaring at them both.

" _You think you will take this chance away from me so easily? I_  did this!  _Me_  – Me alone while you were far behind! Now you are trying to make  _me_  look like the dishonorable one because  _you failed while I was successful_." Zhao is spitting he's so angry – his body is jerking in the soldiers' hands and Katara's arms tighten around the guard's when she notices that they're having troubles keeping him sedated.

" _Me_  – It's  _me_  who's winning this race and  _you're_ stealing  _everything away from me_! Do you think I'll just let you _go?_  Do you think that? Well I  _won't_!" Katara sees it before it happens – his arms rip free from the soldiers - he's free from his bonds - and he's forming fire in his hands –

–  _No_ , she's not going to die here. She's not going to die by Zhao's hands on the deck of some Fire Nation ship. This is not her destiny –  _she_   _will not die here_ –

– Katara lurches free of the guard and she's on the floor –

– He's completing a form and a wave of red-hot fire is coming towards her –

– Katara uses every bit of strength she has left to form a wave of her own. One of water and ice and she slams it into Zhao's –

– They collide but Katara's wave drowns his and then Zhao himself. He's washed away from the force. His body falls to the ground and he's hurled into his kneeling guards before slamming his back against the walls of his ship.

Katara sways on her feet. She's… She's so tired…

She feels herself falling and someone's there to catch her. Her back burns and she's bone dry again. Black and red spots fill most of her vision and she's only aware that she's being picked up again. This time, she barely registers the pain blossoming in her back or the blood running down her nose.

She doesn't slip back into the blackness. She hangs onto the light as much as possible. In the dark she can't figure out what's going on like she can in the light.

She opens up her eyes long enough to see that it's the guard who's carrying her and she closes them again as her head pounds but she doesn't go to sleep. Katara makes tight fists were her hands are lying on her stomach to make sure that she stays awake.

Katara isn't aware of where they're going. But she  _is_  aware of softness underneath her and the sound of a door closing. There are footsteps, three hearts beating in the room. She's lying on a bed; someone gently pushes her over so that she's on her stomach.

"Why isn't she healing?" Katara recognizes Zuko's voice. It's very distinct – raspy and low like he's sick.

Gentle fingers touch the burns on her back and arm and she winces. They're gone immediately.

"Zhao dried her up," the guard that carried her explains. "He's kept her away from any kind of water and he used fire both times he interrogated her. I managed to slip her some when she was in the cell before you arrived – it's probably why she was able to bend – but that's it."

Katara feels the water nearby and she sighs in relief. A hand cups her chin just like before in the cell and the sweet relief of water nearly brings tears to her eyes. She shifts, putting one of her hands underneath her so that she can lift up just a tad. Her other hand grips the cup and she greedily takes it away from the guard and gulps down the water herself.

She's finished and the guard swaps her empty cup for a full one. She still hasn't opened her eyes.

"Make sure she stays hydrated. We'll need to cuff her hands so that she won't try to bend and escape."

Katara takes another cup. This time though, she does open her eyes to look at the two men. She doesn't tell them that it's going to take at least a week before she can muster up the energy to even try to launch an attack that large. She rather likes that they're treating her like a threat even if it's going to make her escape more difficult.

"That was an impressive wave for a dehydrated waterbender," the guard compliments her. It's Zuko that she looks at though. He's studying her far too closely; his eyes go from her face to her burned arm. Katara sniffs and wipes the blood from her nose.

Katara moves a little more to get in a more comfortable position. The water cools her heated body down and she can feel herself wake up little by little even though she's still tired. It's a tiredness that won't go away for quite some time though. The past two days had really made an impact on her body.

She has some difficulty swinging her legs over and the shooting pains up her back make her grimace when she tries to twist it. The guard reaches out and helps her, his hands warm on her arms as he gently nudges her to sit on the bed with her legs dangling over the edge.

Another full cup of water is in her hands. "Thank you," she says to the guard and she catches him blush. In the new light, she notices that he's younger than she expected even though there's some grey hair near his face. He's tall and broad-shouldered with fading burn marks around his neck and on his exposed knuckles. He's been a soldier for a long time.

She takes another gulp.

"We need to get you some clothes," Zuko says, a tinge of disgust in his voice, "I can't have you walking around half-naked in front of my men."

Katara looks down at her ruined clothing and sees that her Tribal outfit is in a state beyond repair. She knew the back was burned off, and the sleeve of her right arm is gone where Zhao burned her. There's a long slit where the Captain had showed Zuko her waterbender etching around her waist but that's been stretched. Her bindings are loose around her chest and her leggings are ripped, torn and dirty.

She's showing far more skin than she had ever shown a man before.

Shame makes her cheeks go red and she shifts uncomfortably on the couch. She crosses her arms over her chest, the loose fabric at the back dropping down and revealing the skin of her shoulders. The men notice her discomfort at being so exposed and Zuko quickly turns away. She thinks that he's going to leave when he instead goes to a dresser in the corner. He opens a drawer, digs around and pulls out a long red robe.

"Here," he tosses the fabric to her and she catches it in her free hand. The dress falls down a bit more. "Put this on for now."

She sets the drink down on the small table beside the bed as she pulls the robe over her shoulders. It's softer than she thought. Not quite as soft as her furs and pelts, but it's something that will cover her up and that's all that matters. The fabric does stick to the welts along her back and she bits the inside of her cheek to keep from wincing as she peels it off to situate the garment around her like she wants it.

"Do not think that because we rescued you that you are no longer a prisoner. You still are. You  _will_  be interrogated when we reach the Capital." Zuko gives her a harsh look and she glares at him. Of course she knew she was still a captive. They had just been talking about covering her hands.

She clears her throat and picks her glass up again. "I will tell you what I told Zhao," she speaks in between sips. "I will die before I tell you anything about the Avatar."

They can be nice all they want. She's not going to fall for their false smiles and kindness.

Zuko's back stiffens but the guard looks as if he expected that answer.

"Whatever information you give us that proves to be helpful will be rewarded."

Katara narrows her eyes at the Prince. "I told you,  _Zuko_. I'm not going to betray him for niceties. My loyalty is worth a lot more than that and the fact that you are even trying to bribe me is insulting."

His nostrils flare and his fists clench. Katara smiles. So, the Fire Prince has a temper too. This will be fun.

"Prince, perhaps we should give her time to recover a little." The guard gives her a glance that she can't quite figure out. She expects that it's one of those warnings that he likes to tell her.

Zuko glares at her for another few moments before he quickly turns away. He all but marches to the door, throws it open and slams it behind him when he leaves. Katara continues to sip on her water as if she didn't just piss off a young man who had her life in his hands.

The guard sighs. He reaches up and rubs the back of his neck, the lines in his face pronounced now that he's frowning. "Prince Zuko is a good man, waterbender. He can be kind if he wants to be. Perhaps you should wise up and use that to your advantage right now."

"I'm not going to betray my friends. I don't care how much of a  _good kid_  he is."

"Even if not doing it will cost you your life?"

"My friends have risked everything to protect me numerous times. I'm not going to betray all of that friendship and trust for  _him_  – for nice things. Especially when he's just going to throw me in a prison when he's finished with me."

"He might be persuaded to do otherwise if you allow yourself to become an ally."

"The answer is and will always be  _no_ ," she says flatly. "No matter what you and everyone tries to give or tell me. I'm not changing my mind. You should counsel your little Prince to either slit my throat or let me go because you're never going to get anything out of me."

He shakes his head and leaves her. She's finished with her last cup of water. She wants more, but she doesn't think that if she asks she'll get it. So she watches his back as he goes to the door.

"Must everything be difficult?" The guard asks when he's opened the door. He turns to look back at where she sits on the bed.

"Yes." She nods her head. "It must  _always_  be difficult."


	3. Chapter 3

Katara finds out that the guard's name is Lee.

It's a common name for men of the Fire Nation, he tells her when he gives her a cup of water. She was right that he was slightly older than her. He's actually in his mid-twenties; premature graying is something that runs in his family.

It seems that a night's worth of sleep has made him talkative and he asks her about herself now that he's told her his name and age.

For her part, Katara looks over the edge of the cup at him, her eyes suspicious. She's wearing the robe that Zuko gave her last night even though it's all bunched around her legs underneath the heavy covers of the bed. It was surprisingly chilly in the metal ship during the night.

"My name is Katara," she offers. He probably already knows this – maybe? She can't recall any time when someone did address her by her name but she could just be looking over it – but that's all that she's telling him.

Lee frowns. "How old are you, Katara? You can tell me about yourself. There isn't any ulterior motive here."

Her eyes narrow and she shifts so that she's sitting up against the headboard a little straighter. "Old enough to fight in a war. Why do you care? I'm just a Water Tribe peasant who's also a prisoner. If you're trying to gain my trust so you can get information out of me you're not doing it in a smart way. I'm not stupid."

"No one ever said you were."

"Then why are you trying to act like you're my… my  _friend_  or something? You don't like my kind and I don't like yours. So how about you drop the nice-guy image and stop trying to get to know me just so you can throw it all back in my face later on."

She realizes when his face falls a little that she might have been a bit harsh. Katara looks away from him, a tad bit ashamed, and focuses on the clear water in the cup. He  _has_  been nice to her… Would it be so bad to have an ally on this ship? She may just need one…

Her eyes go to the empty bowl on the table that had been filled with warm soup a few minutes before. It's sitting right beside a large pitcher of water. He had carried that in just for her. And yet, here she was, lashing out at him when he really  _hadn't_  given her any reason not to trust him besides just being from the Fire Nation.

Katara sighs. "I'm from the Southern Water Tribe." There's – that pretty useless information and it's not like he probably doesn't know. He had been in the room when Zhao had cut her dress to show her skin etching to Zhao. It's still an effort though and she hopes that he will appreciate it enough to satisfy his curiosity.

"I've been to the South Poles. It's quite… cold there. Not exactly a place for a firebender." He smiles awkwardly at her.

"You don't say?" She replies blandly. He looks confused for a moment and the thinks back to what he says. Realization dawns in his eyes and he opens his mouth to apologize when she waves it away. "I don't want to hear some half-hearted apology that you probably don't even mean. But you're right: it isn't a place for a firebender."

Katara can only imagine what that means for her new semi-ally. Lee had probably been a Southern Raider before joining Zuko's crew. He had killed, kidnapped and tortured tribesmen and women. People who were, and still are, her kin. It makes her angry and hurt and confused because at the same time she can't really imagine him committing those violent acts that still haunts her memories and sleep.

Besides, if she really wants to make an effort to have an ally on this ship then she can't be thinking of him butchering her kinsmen when they're together. She'll end up drowning him or pushing ice daggers through his throat.

He can tell she's slightly unsettled by the revelation and he stands from the seat that he's pulled close to her bed. Lee clears his throat and soothes imagined wrinkles from his uniform, grabbing the bowl but leaving the pitcher and cup as he turns to leave her.

Lee pauses at the now-opened door and Katara swears that if he apologizes, she will rip him to shreds. But he just glances at her, a frown on his lips and he leaves quickly. She lets out a sigh of relief and reaches to pour herself another cup of water.

Did he leave the pitcher here for a reason…?

She stares at it. It's now only half-full because she's been drinking so much. It's enough to get to the deck. Then she'll have the sea around her to control.

Her palms are itching. She flexes them, squeezing the handle of the pitcher and the cup in her hand tighter as she looks down at the water in the jug.  _It's enough to make it to the deck_ ; but is  _she_  strong enough?

No, she decides. She isn't. Not yet. She would pass out from exhaustion before she could wipe out the deck. What use would it be then? The escape attempt would fail and she'd be in an even worse position than she is in now.

Though Katara does have to admit that she doesn't exactly hate where she is now. In comparison with the cell, her new prison doesn't really feel like a prison. There are no windows and the room is small, but there's a bed, a dresser, a nightstand, a bookshelf with a few worn books and a chair. The door has a heavy lock and her mattress is a bit scratchy but honestly… she'd pick this over the pallet in a cell any day.

That doesn't change the fact that she's still a prisoner. Katara keeps reminding herself that despite the comfort of her new cell, it's still a cell. It just doesn't have any bars.

Putting the now-empty cup down, she flings the covers off and climbs out of the bed. It's difficult – she slept a lot longer than she had planned and the air is chilly in comparison to being underneath the blankets. She stretches her legs out a little before she stands, groaning at the soreness at her back. Too bad there isn't a mirror in the room for her to see how much it has healed already.

She should look around. Maybe there's something in her new cell that can potentially help her later. The dresser has a few more robes and tunics – they all look secondhand and several sizes too big for her so she assumes they're clean leftovers from the crew – but she is surprised to find a drawer of bindings and other wraps. When she takes a closer look at them, she notices that they're used for healing. She can still use them to replace her tattered bindings though.

Katara takes out a few strips before she moves to the night table. There's a tiny drawer but it's empty when she opens it. The bookshelf has books that have been used so much that the words have been rubbed off of the covers and the scrolls are torn around the edges.

She picks one – a red and gold trimmed one that's so dusty she nearly coughs when she breathes in close to it – and tosses it to the bed. The robe slips off of her body and onto the floor and then her tattered Water Tribe clothing follows. She only has to tug a little for the bindings to tear off.

Quickly because she's worried that Lee or someone else is just going to come in, Katara winds the fresh bandages around her breasts, tightening them down as best as she can. She picks up a black tunic she had grabbed from the dresser earlier and pulls it over her head.

The tunic stops at the tops of her knees but she pulls on a pair of leggings anyway as a precaution. The clothes are big; the tunic practically hanging off of her and the neckline is cut a little deeply but it'll do. She doesn't really have any other choice.

As soon as she sits on the bed and opens the dusty old book, someone opens the door. She jerks her head up, a bit surprised and sees two unfamiliar guards.

"The Prince requests your presence. You are to come quietly if you would like to continue living in comfort." She stands as the guards come in. They take her arms – not roughly but firmly – and lead her to the door.

She doesn't say anything as they make their way through the metal ship. She has no idea where they're going. Unlike Zhao's, this is unfamiliar so she tries to keep track of where they're going for future reference. A few turns and some narrow hallways later –  _this ship is rather large_ – and they finally stop at a large door. One of the guards knocks before he opens the door. Katara is pushed inside and then it's closed.

Zuko himself is sitting behind a desk. There's an old, grey-haired, plump man sitting in the corner of the room with a steaming cup of tea in his hands.  _He_ gives her a gentle smile that she doesn't return; Zuko keeps his eyes on the paper that he's furiously writing on.

It's warmer in here than it is in her room. Probably because this room has a large window on the back wall, sun pouring in through the bars that protect it from being broken.

Katara looks at the sun and realizes just how much she misses the moon –  _her_  moon.

Zuko places his brush on the desk and he stands; Katara's eyes flicker down to him, waiting for him to speak and tell her why she's been brought down here. He's looking at her new clothes though and a smirk teases the corners of his lips that she wants to wipe away.

"I see you've looked through the room."

"Oh, whatever was it that gave me away,  _Prince_?" She can't help but spit out. He looks back at her eyes and she's glad that he's no longer looking at her body even if it is almost indiscernible in the baggy clothes. "It'd be reckless for me to not take inventory of my new cell."

"Looking for weapons?"

Katara shrugs. "Perhaps."

"Did you find any?"

"Maybe," she says with a slow smile.

His good eyebrow quirks up at the comment and the man in the corner of the room chuckles. She keeps the smile on her lips. What she needs to do is find a way to make him tick… Zhao's was his anger, what would Zuko's be? His temper?

"Anything can be a weapon, Firebender," Katara continues. She realizes for the first time that they didn't bind her hands together before she came in here. Did they forget? She shifts her hands behind her back to keep them from view just in case they did.

The movement doesn't go past Zuko's notice. "If you don't try to bend I won't have your hands bound."

"Not a very smart move." Maybe it's not his temperament – maybe it's his recklessness.

"You're in a room with two Master Firebenders in the middle of a ship with dozens of other firebenders. I'm not exactly worried about  _you_ , Waterbender."

Her eyes narrow. Was he  _trying_  to insult her? "Maybe you should be. I'm not exactly a novice myself. I  _did_  help train the Avatar –"

She stops herself. No – she will  _not_  speak about Aang here. Katara straightens up and looks at the Prince blankly. He's smirking at her now though, pleased with her little slip-up. It's not exactly groundbreaking information, but he managed to get her to talk. At the very least, he now knows that she's somewhat close with the Avatar.

Zuko has managed to get more information out of her than Zhao ever did. And they're only  _talking_.

"Perhaps the Waterbender would like a nice, heated bath?" The old man offers. He's still smiling. "Or maybe a nice cup of tea?" He gives Zuko an expectant look. The Fire Prince sighs and shakes his head.

"I don't want your tea," she spits out. She knows the game they're playing – she figured it out a long time ago. They're not going to win her over with nice acts and beds and baths and  _tea_.

The two looked unfazed. Zuko seems to have expected the answer. "It wasn't really an offer. The bath, however,  _is_. Zhao didn't exactly…keep you in good shape. You'll need to heal your back so that you won't get infected, too. We don't have the time for you to get sick."

He really  _is_  reckless. Allowing a Waterbender a bath when she's a captive? Does he know the effect that will have on her strength and bending? Being allowed to soak in the water will replenish a lot of her lost strength. It won't be the same until she sees the moon again, but she won't be weak anymore. Especially with the constant supply of water and food being brought to her by Lee.

Zuko's stepping around the desk and walking towards her. She stays her ground, refusing to back away even though his eyes as hardening with each step. He's right in front of her – she has to look up a bit to meet his eyes because he's so  _tall_  – and she doesn't even flinch when he starts to speak.

"You will be supervised and if you are caught trying to bend or escape I will prove to you that I can be just as cruel – maybe even  _crueler_  – than Zhao was. Do not test me on this, Waterbender. You have no hope of escaping."

"That a fact,  _Prince_?"

"Yes. Yes, it is." Zuko bends down to her ear, grasping onto her arm so that she can't back away from him. "Try to test me if you want. I've always wondered how quickly a Waterbender could burn."

Katara is scowling at him when he straightens up and steps away. She jerks her arm out of his, glowering at his completely blank façade as a guard enters the room. Other hands are on her, pulling her towards the door but she keeps her stony eyes on him until she can no longer see him.

She  _will_  freeze him in a dome of ice so frozen that even his fire won't save him.

-/-

The bath is more than nice. She sits in the water for what feels like hours. When it turns cold, it doesn't bother her; she's just so glad that's she's finally  _one_ with her element that nothing matters. Her skin turns pruny and her hair dries in thick tangles because she doesn't comb through it with her fingers but she really could care less.

 _Water_.

She feels the energy rush into her body the moment she steps into the tub. Katara feels her back healing as soon as she's in. It feels divine – she's no longer having to reach deep into her stores of energy to feel the rush and calmness that the water brings her.

The fact that the only thing separating her and a female guard is a black screen doesn't even bother her. After living on a ship for about a year, modesty is something that Katara has all but abandoned. When it comes to other women, at least. Being exposed in front of men is still semi-taboo to her.

"All right, Waterbender. Let's go. You've been in there long enough."

Katara jumps in the water as the guard bangs on the screen. Well  _that_  was rather rude.

She grips the sides of the tub and pulls herself out of the tub reluctantly. There's a towel on the floor and she dries off, then wraps it around her body. She would put back on the clothes she had earlier but even though they might still have been clean, she shudders at the thought of putting her own filth back on.

They don't come across any other soldiers on the way back to her room –  _thankfully_  – and when she gets in, she quickly wraps herself in some bindings and pulls on a fresh tunic and leggings. Black, of course. She eyes the reds and oranges disdainfully and slams the drawer shut with a bit more force than necessary.

Katara puts on the black slippers that the female guard had given her – after she reminded her that they were hand-me-downs just like the rest of her clothes – but manages to find a pair of black socks first. She plops down on the bed, hair slightly damp but hopelessly tangled and opens up the book. She reads while her fingers work through the knots as best as she can without a mirror. When she's finished with that, she braids and re-braids the ends just to eat up time.

The tides tell her that it's dusk when Lee comes at her door to tell her that it's dinner time. She shuts the book filled with mostly poetry written by people of the Fire Nation and climbs off the bed.

"You look… better," he tells her when he's leading her down the hall towards the kitchen. "Clean. You  _smell_  clean, at least."

"Thanks, I guess?" She laughs a little. "You look the same as you did this morning. Very Fire Nation soldier-y."

Lee runs a hand down the front of his armor as if he forgot that he is even wearing it. "I guess that's a good thing then considering that's what I am."

The kitchen is larger than she expected but it also doubles as the cafeteria. On the Water Tribe ship, meals were always eaten on the deck so that waterbenders could absorb the moon and they could all listen to the water. It was as if they were closer to home when they were out there.

Quite a bit of the crew is seated around long, rectangular tables and they all look at her when she goes in. Even without the Water Tribe clothes, she's clearly an outsider. The baggy clothes, the thick and wavy brown hair, the darker skin and the blue eyes loudly proclaim not only her heritage but the fact that she is also a prisoner. Not that they were unaware of her presence on board anyway.

Katara wonders if the Fire Nation has any superstitions about women being on board war ships like the Northern Water Tribe does.

Lee doesn't say anything else to her as he leads her over to the plates and drinks. He hands her a tray with a plate of fruits, bread and a piece of meat, a glass of what smells like ricewine in the corner. Katara quirks an eyebrow as she looks at the food, her stomach rumbling, but she manages to follow him to a relatively empty table in the far back.

She saves the fruit for last. It's such a delicacy to her people that it's almost  _strange_  to know that she's able to eat not only a mango, but a pear and a pomegranate as well. She wipes the juice with the back of her hand and she's finished quicker than Lee is.

There's a knife on her plate. It's still a bit dirty from when she was cutting the meat and the fruits with it but still… it's a  _knife_. Katara tries to eye it without showing Lee what she's thinking. If she could just sneak it back to her room… she could use it just in case she ever needed it. Zuko's apparent kindness could be fickle, and if it ever comes down to a brawl she'll need it.

Katara stands and picks up the tray. "Where should I take this?"

Lee finishes swallowing a bite of his papaya. "Don't worry, I'll take it."

"You're too kind. Seriously, just tell me where to take it. I don't like other people cleaning up after me when I'm more than capable of doing it myself."

"I can respect that." He nods and points to the other end of the room where there's a large basin. "Just put it in that. The cooks will wash it if we stack it neatly. Try not to break anything."

"I think I can manage that much," Katara turns away and goes to where he pointed. She tries to ignore the stares but even she's not impenetrable to scrutiny. Was it something about Fire Nation soldiers that made them think staring was totally acceptable?

She angles her back so that no one can see that she takes the knife and slips it up her sleeve.

Her tray is in the bin and she thinks about just how easy it was when a hand snatches her wrists before she can move away. Katara launches into attack mode – her other arm swinging for his head but the soldier ducks it easily. She goes for a kick instead and this time she doesn't miss. He's hurled away from her, landing on the floor a few feet away from her.

Chair are scraping across the floor as people stand. Some even make a move towards her and Katara drops into a defensive stance. She can't take all of them now – but she damn sure will try. She's not going to be cowered into giving up just because she's in a damned  _kitchen_  of all places.

"Whoa, whoa,  _whoa!_ " Lee is quick to step between her and a firebender who was moving closer to her at a quicker pace than the others. He stops – Katara doesn't rise. The knife is still in her sleeve, sticking to her skin while her wrists and arms are up, palms itching to start bending.

"The bitch attacked me! I was just going to warn her to empty the plate of scraps before she puts it in the bin!" The soldier she had kicked whines as he gets up from the floor.

"You  _grabbed_  me and didn't say  _anything_!" Katara retorts defensively.

He scowls at her. "Don't worry. I certainly won't be trying to help you out again."

Lee looks over his shoulder at her and she frowns. Was he just trying to help her? She was sure that he had seen her take the knife.

"Everything's all right just… go back to your meal. The waterbender will be leaving and we –"

"She owes him an apology!"

"I don't owe  _anyone_ anything!" Katara snaps.

The firebender steps forward. Lee steps in between them again so Katara twists so that she's glaring at the man. "I'll  _make_  you apologize, water peasant."

"I'd love to see you try you inbred lump of coal." Katara shifts lower into a stance, smirking when she sees the firebender's cheeks burn red. She waits for the first movement of a bending.

Lee grabs her arm though and he hauls her – practically running – towards the door. Katara has no choice but to let him pull her along. She still scowls though and punches him so that he lets her go when they're far enough away from the kitchen.

Katara yanks down the tunic that's ridden up. "What was that for? I had everything completely under control."  _The knife is still in her sleeve._

Lee looks at her in disbelief. "Are you kidding me?  _That_  was under control? You almost got yourself killed!"

"I could take him," she growls and starts walking back towards her room. She recognizes the hallway as hers.

"Maybe. But what about the next one? And the one after that? And then the one after that? Did you think that if you won that fight it would have stopped then?"

Well, she had assumed that… Wait, no, she hadn't. Katara pauses with her hand on the handle and chews on the inside of her cheek. Yeah, she really hasn't thought about the others' reactions to her fighting with the firebender.

She doesn't even look back at Lee as she quickly escapes into her room, shutting the door behind her firmly so that he won't come in. She wouldn't be able to stop him, but he doesn't seem like the type of guy to just barge in.

Katara really  _did_  sort of act restless out there. But what was she supposed to do? Let the man grab her? No – that was  _not_  going to happen.

Maybe her little display, however ill thought out it had been, would show others that she was not going to just sit by idly. She would fight back if they laid a hand on her. She wasn't some puny little prisoner. She was a  _waterbender_  with the blood of the firsts Southerners in her veins. She was strong; she was powerful; she would  _fight back_  just like her people had been doing for the past one hundred years.

Katara takes the knife out from her sleeve and wipes it on the inside of the tunic so that it's clean. Slipping it under the pillow, she sits back on the bed and reaches for the book of poems again. Knowing that the knife is close by helps ease her mind a bit. She hasn't had much experience with weaponry because of her bending but Sokka had showed her a few things.

All she had to remember was to stick them with the pointy end. It wasn't an art for her like bending was. If she had to use a knife, she was in desperate need for survival so she would use it like the tool it was.

Her fingers slipped through the pages but her mind, for some reason, was on the knife under her pillow. She had killed men before – drowned them, froze them, stopped their hearts and done other terrible,  _horrible_  things all in the name of war and survival. But stabbing a man?

Why was it making her stop and think? Stabbing was just like drowning – and she had no problems doing that to those her threatened her or hers. Sokka had always poked fun at her violent nature when it came to protecting those closest to her. She wasn't practically avoided on the Northern ships just because of her gender.

_So why was the idea of stabbing someone so difficult for her?_

She can't pinpoint it, exactly. There is the idea that it's bloodier, but that doesn't make sense because she trained with  _Hama_  for Sprits' sake. That, and the fact that she's a pretty decent healer immediately crosses out the idea that she's afraid to get actual blood on her hands rather than on the ground.

Perhaps because it's an actual weapon? Maybe. But that's sort of far-fetched too.

Katara slides her hand underneath the pillow to pull the knife out. The book settles forgotten in her lap and now her entire focus is on the cool piece of metal in her hands. It's not very sharp. The edges are dull and she should probably try to sharpen it before she actually uses it so that it would be effective.

She lets her fingers glide over the smooth edges like she had seen Sokka do when he was sharpening his own sword. She catches a glimpse of her reflection but she doesn't look at herself for too long.

Why – Why does this… kitchen utensil make her so unsettled? She knows that she needs it. Otherwise, she wouldn't have taken it in the first place. Katara  _needs_  to be able to protect herself. If her bending fails then she will literally have nothing but her wits and her fists and she's not Sokka. She can't get herself out of those situations without her bending like he can.

She puts the knife back where it will stay for now: under her pillow. She'll need to tie something around her thigh so that she can hide it underneath her tunic. Or she could put it underneath her leggings. There is the odd chance that it will get jarred and fall though, so she throws that idea out quickly. There's no telling what will happen to her if they find out she has a weapon with her, even if it is a puny kitchen knife.

But that will be a thought for tomorrow. Katara settles against the headboard and draws her legs up to her chest so that she can prop the book on her knees.

She tries to forget about the knife underneath her pillow. It stays in the back of her mind until she's finally able to fall asleep much, much later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that everyone has a safe holiday week. Thank you so much for the support!


	4. Chapter 4

The fact that Lee brings her breakfast isn't surprising. She  _did_  cause quite the little scene the night before and she isn't quite sure if she'll even be allowed back inside the kitchen again. It's a shame, really, and she  _almost_  regrets defending herself against the soldier. Her room is still a prison despite the fact that it resembles a bedroom and she wouldn't mind getting out.

After she thinks that is the exact moment that Lee  _does_  get her out of the room.

This time, he cuffs her hands with the metal brackets. "If you hadn't acted like that last night…" He's sighing and she can hear the disappointment in his voice.

"Sorry for defending myself." She doesn't sound the least bit sorry. Katara tugs at the cuffs to test their strength and Lee looks at her almost as if he's asking for her approval. Katara quirks an eyebrow. "If you're wondering, yes, they're a bit tight. Perhaps we can ditch them altogether if I promise to be on my best behavior?"

Lee rolls his eyes. He turns away but she doesn't miss the small smile on his lips. He doesn't have to grab her arm to lead her out of the room; she follows dutifully enough down the familiar path. They're heading towards the bathroom in one of the spare, empty rooms that looks like it should be a place where someone serves tea.

He takes off the cuffs but grabs her arm before she can slide into the bathroom to go about her business.

"No funny business, Katara. I mean it. Zuko's being nice by letting you have privacy but I'm sure he won't hesitate to take that away if you act out against him again." Katara stares at him until he finally lets go. She doesn't speak or do anything until the door is closed behind her and she's alone in the bathroom.

The  _nerve_. Of course it's all another part of their little game they're playing. Zuko's going to be the nice guy so that he can ease her into giving up more information about the Avatar. Well she  _isn't_. It's going to take more than private baths to change her mind and if the Prince can't see that then he's downright idiotic.

Katara scoffs as she sheds the tunic. Her eyes and hands pause for a moment when she sees the knife strapped to the inside of her leg where she had managed to put it when Lee had left to refill her water pitcher.

Checking over her shoulder to make sure the door is closed, Katara slips it out of the elastic fabric she had tied around her thigh to keep it there and folds the weapon inside her tunic. She quickly sheds her leggings and toss them on top just to make sure.

She takes a bath as quickly as possible, her eyes constantly flickering between the door and the pile of her clothes next to the tub.

When she's done, she quickly dresses and slides the knife back around the inside of her thigh. It's unfamiliar there but she figures that she'll get used to it. She doesn't  _really_  have a choice. Katara works her fingers through her hair but doesn't braid it like she normally does. It'll dry faster and she doesn't want to spend all day with wet, heavy hair again.

Lee is waiting for her when she gets out. He stands from the chair he was reclining in and quickly puts the metal cuffs around her wrists were she had them placed behind her expectantly. Like the knife in between her thighs, the cuffs around her hands are going to have to be something that she adapts to.

"Prince Zuko wishes to speak with you again today," Lee explains when thy make a different turn. She glances at him curiously but doesn't say anything as he takes her towards the front of the ship. The Prince will probably try to get more information out of her – but he's going to be sorely disappointed today. She's more than prepared.

Lee knocks on the metal door before he opens it to prod her inside. The cuffs are still around her wrists but she holds her head high because the Prince of Fire is looking at her from behind his desk. The larger, older man that had offered her the tea and bath is not here today.

Pity. She might have taken the offer this time.

Katara takes note of the red cushions on the floor and raises an eyebrow. "So it starts today?"

Confusion flickers across his face but he quickly morphs back to his blank stare. "What starts today?"

"I'm a prisoner. A  _female_  prisoner," she nods to the cushions on the floor. "I know what happens to women like me on these ships."

But he won't touch her. She has the knife and she can feel the pull of water in a pitcher that sits on top of his desk. Katara wouldn't let Zhao near her – and she certainly isn't going to let his  _boy_  overpower her.

When she looks back at Zuko he looks rather uncomfortable. Strange. He's a Fire Prince, is he not? Surely he's used to cushions and female prisoners and helplessness and inflicting pain. But when he starts to shift in his seat before he stands, Katara wonders if she misjudged the situation.

For some reason, that doesn't make her feel any better. In fact, it makes her a bit wary because if he and the new cushions are not there for  _that_  then…

"I was hoping to offer you tea." Zuko explains as he walks with the water-filled pitcher and pulls a tiny table with cups on top over next to the seats. He sits and begins to pour, looking at her expectantly when she doesn't automatically step towards him.

Behind her back, she clenches her fists but takes a step closer anyway. He's spiked her interest.

"Why?"

He shrugs his shoulders and fills the other cup with the heated water. Zuko sets the pitcher down and opens a tiny tin box. "Why not?"

She watches as he puts a few leaves in the tiny cups. "What if I don't drink tea?"

"Don't tell my uncle that." The corner of his lip rises in a small smile and her eyes instantly narrow. He's being nice. Too nice. She's a prisoner and he's a Prince – she's water and he's fire and he  _shouldn't_  be making her tea when he should be interrogating her about the Avatar.

Katara studies him as he lifts a cup to his lips. He stares back at her. She doesn't waver as he takes a sip – eyes never leaving hers – and she waits…  _There_. His eyes narrow for an instant and she knows instantly that this  _is_  an act. This nice exterior will break away into something temperamental in a few moments.

"Do you not drink tea?" He asks and breaks her gaze to set his cup on the table.

"It's kind of hard to do that when your hands are cuffed behind your back." She tugs at her wrists pointedly. "Would you like to try it out? I'm sure it'd be interesting to see if you can drink as easily when you can't use your hands."

Zuko doesn't speak. He stands and crosses the room to where she's still standing close to the door. His hands make quick work of the cuffs around her wrists and she wonders if he has a key or if there's something in the way they're made to make it so easy for him to slide them off.

She rubs at her wrists to get some feeling back in them and walks towards the table.

"Wait," Zuko commands behind her and she pauses. Katara turns to face him as she crosses her arms across her chest and waits for him to continue. "Lift up your tunic."

Her blood freezes. " _Why?_ "

"Do it."

"And if I don't?" She challenges. Her blood is still cold and surely Zuko doesn't know. He  _can't_  know – but his eyes flash down to her thighs and she shivers a little.  _He knows_. She hasn't even had the knife for more than a day and Zuko has already figured it out.

Zuko steps forward and she steps back. "Then  _I_ will do it for you."

Katara jerks her chin up and glowers at him.

"Sorry,  _Prince_  but I'm not that type of girl." She feigns ignorance, playing on the cushion comment earlier. Maybe if she acts like it isn't there, he will believe it.

"Waterbender.  _Lift_   _your tunic_."

Or maybe not.

Katara reaches down and curls her fingers under the fabric that stops at her knees. Slowly, she slides it up the length of her leggings until she's at mid-thigh. Any further and he  _will_  see the knife. So she stops, extending her leg out so that he can get a good look.

"Keep going."

"You're sick," she keeps faking it but she doesn't move the tunic up any higher.

His eyes tell her that he knows exactly what she's trying to do and that he doesn't believe her for one second. Hesitantly, Katara slides the tunic up a bit more. Her fingers grab the handle and she yanks it out. The weapon is in her hands and she's holding it out in warning towards him.

He looks nothing but amused. "And what exactly do you plan on doing with –"

Katara cuts him off by bending the water out of the pitcher and the cups and sending a sharp whip towards his chest. His eyes widen and he ducks to the side. She snaps the stream so that it's around her waist, ready to attack him again and she drops into a defensive position, the knife still poised in her hand.

Zuko recovers quickly. He throws a fire ball towards her but she blocks it with the water. A few ice daggers are flying towards him but he deflects those easily. Katara bends more water from the pitcher – her eyes quickly go to the potted plants in the far corner and she  _could_ use that water but –

He's blasting fire balls and fire whips her way and she has no choice but to dodge by dropping to the floor and rolling. She's pretty sure a bit of her hair is singed but she has no time to think as she compresses the water into a flat disc and sends it hurling towards his neck.

Zuko ducks and the ice shatters on the wall behind him. Katara flicks her wrists and hurriedly tries to make a shield in front of her as he sends a few more fire blasts her way. He's not trying to kill her – she can easily tell that – but he  _is_  trying to hurt her.

A fire ball dances too closely to her waist when she stands and she instantly shies away from the heat. Fire has only brought her pain and she refuses for that to happen again.

She's trying to bend the water from the plants in pure desperation when she realizes Zuko is close – too close – and she backs away.

The wall behind her stops her retreat and she scowls at the Prince.  _He_  smiles and now all of his movements are focused on deflecting hers as he comes closer. Katara flicks her wrist the way Hama taught her and all of the water is drained from the plants.

He's clearly surprised when she sends a full stream into the center of his chest – barreling him back a few paces and giving her enough room to move away from the wall. But now he's on the offensive again. Kicking, punching, and arcing flames towards her with narrowed eyes and grit teeth. He's losing control; his temper is about to show and Katara smirks in victory even though she has to lunge onto the floor to avoid a fire ball.

Her water whips move faster and hit harder now that she has more to work with. She slides along the floor as he tries to get closer – her pushing him back each time. The fight would be more spectacular if they were in a larger, more open space. He's holding back because he doesn't want to destroy the furniture or the ship – Katara is trying not to use up the scarce water she has. She also hasn't seen the moon in days and that shows as her muscles start burning and her blood slows.

She's using too much energy on this simple fight. She'll never be able to get out if she can't –

– A whip of fire makes slices at her abdomen and Katara sucks in a breath, her eyes wide. She starts to panic, water becoming sloppy but her hits focused on places that might kill him. Zuko isn't wearing any armor, and she sees that he's bleeding after her hands flick and his arm is cut by her whips.

Those little droplets of blood makes her smile in satisfaction. She's hurting him just as much as he is her.

Katara sends a flurry of compact ice spheres at him. Zuko sends a flaming kick at them and the water evaporates into instant steam. More panic sets in and she quickly works to suck the liquid out of the air where he evaporated it when suddenly he's so close that he's grabbing her arm.

She stabs at him with the knife – suddenly remembering that it's there in her hand. He dodges but is forced to let her go as she grips it tightly and slices at his chest. Now  _he's_  retreating and she's advancing, the dull knife in her hand her only weapon and she wonders why he isn't firebending at her.

Katara gets her answer when he easily evades one of her stabs and grips her wrists. He hauls her around and sends her careening towards a wall. She turns so her back bears the brunt of the blow and she groans when her head smacks against the metal, sending the wall vibrating against her back when the bulk of her weight hits it.

He's on her in an instant; one of his arms is across her chest and the other is gripping the wrist with the knife. Katara's instincts kick in and she starts trying to stab him with it but she's only meeting air and she grits her teeth in frustration –

– Zuko twists her wrist at an awkward angle and Katara screams. Her palm opens and the knife clatters on the floor. Pain shoots up her arm in sharp spikes and Zuko slams it against the wall beside her head. Her eyes are squeezed closed and she's panting – Zuko's heartbeat is erratic but he's already gained control of his breathing. She can feel his hair touch her forehead and she tries to jerk away from him ineffectively.

" _Let go of me,"_  she hisses and tries to wriggle in desperation. Her other palm is open and she's trying to get water from  _anywhere_  when he notices. Zuko grabs at it and smashes it against the other side of her head so that she's caged and useless against him and the wall.

Katara is twisting and turning her torso, yanking at her arms and her wrists. Zuko is struggling to keep her against the wall, pressing as much of his weight into her as possible to keep her still but it's  _not working._

There's heat on her wrists and she stills instantly. It leaves as quickly as it had flared, and Katara glares up at Zuko with the scowl still on her lips.

"Are you calm now?" He asks as if he hadn't just had to start to burn her wrists in order to keep her still. His eyes are wide, filled with anxiousness, annoyance and excitement and Katara is sure that hers reflect his… with an added amount of hate thrown in just because he tried to  _burn her wrists_ to keep her sedated.

"I'll be calm when you get off of me." Katara bucks her hips as she talks, trying to get enough room in between them so that she can work her knee up to shove him away from her. The Prince leans in closer, his breath in her hair and she turns away, staring at the door.

"I don't want to hurt you –"

"Don't lie to me. You can torture me, burn me,  _touch me_  and anything else but don't  _lie_ to me."

He blinks. "I don't want to hurt you, waterbender. I'm not Zhao. I don't hurt prisoners just for the fun of it."

"Oh really?" She scoffs and shakes her head as much as she can in the limited amount of space. "That's why you attacked me, tried to burn me repeatedly, and almost killed me? That also explains why I'm, you know,  _stuck in between you and the wall._ "

"You attacked me first. And I wasn't trying to kill you. You were trying to kill me and I was just waiting until you tired out."

Katara glares at him. He's close – too close for her liking and she wishes that she could get him away so that she can  _breathe_. His heart has slowed down considerably even though she's still gasping a little.

Zuko's hands tighten around her wrists when she tries to test his grip. She caged even further against the wall. Every time she breathes, she touches his chest and she doesn't like that. She doesn't like it at all.

"I'm calm now." She says flatly. The Prince looks down at her for a beat or two longer before he finally pushes away and releases her wrists. Katara is careful not to make any sudden movements as she rubs at the tenderness and stands upright, no longer having to lean against the wall.

He bends down to pick up the knife and stands before she can kick at his head. Backing away from her a bit, he looks at the puny weapon.

"Out of all the things you could have taken from the kitchen, you take  _this_? What were you planning on doing, exactly? Butter some bread?" He says, laughing as he places the knife on his desk.

Katara narrows her eyes. "I'm sorry, does the fact that I am trying to defend myself on a ship full of  _firebending men_  humor you? I'm sure you heard about what happened yesterday in the kitchen. These men hate me. I need to take any precaution necessary."

Zuko frowns. "You… You don't have to worry about  _that_  sort of thing. The Fire Lord has to give permission for sailors to keep pleasure slaves on the ship and you're a high priority prisoner so –"

"Oh, so it's not the fact that rape is  _wrong_. The reason I haven't been touched is because Mister  _Fire Lord_  likes to have first picks, right? I'm being saved just for him, I see now. If I was some random Water Tribe peasant though it wouldn't matter. But because I'm  _important_  your dad gets to have me first. Wow, that's rather comforting, thank you."

"That's not what I meant." He's the one scowling now as if she wounded him somehow.

"Are you telling me I'm wrong?"

A beat. "No."

"Okay then." Katara crosses her arms across her chest. The firebender and the waterbender glare at each other. The room still smells like smoke from their little fight and the table that the tea was on is turned over somehow.

They've made a mess.

"I'd like to go back to my cell now, if you would be so kind to excuse me. Your little trick with the tea didn't work and I'm  _definitely_ not telling you anything about the Avatar so you might as well give up."

Zuko sighs and turns around. Katara thinks he's going to get her cuffs from the table when he spots the now-dead potted plant. She sees his shoulders stiffen and he looks back at her, then at the plant, then back at her. Katara doesn't flinch away.

She sees there's confusion in his eyes but he doesn't ask her about the plant. He probably figures it out for himself. Zuko picks the cuffs off of the desk and tosses them up and down in his hand.

"You can leave. Your guard will be waiting for you outside the door." Zuko throws the cuffs onto the desk where they clatter and she's so surprised that she doesn't move for a few moments. There's something tense in his body and she can't help but stare and try to figure out what's wrong with him.

He looks over his shoulder at her and that's when she moves towards the door. Katara tries not to look back at him when she opens the door but fails. He's looking at her too. His eyes, though, they're not their normal blank or studious glare… They're  _curious_.

Katara jerks her head away and slams the door shut behind her.

"Well that was longer than –  _why are you burned_?" Lee's hands inch out to touch her stomach and Katara looks down. She had forgotten about Zuko's fire whip that managed to graze her abdomen.

"Long story," Katara murmurs and steps away from Lee's grasp. The scar is healing but if he touches it, it will still hurt a little. "Don't worry. He bled, too."

Lee looks like he's going to ask her what they were doing but he shuts his mouth and starts walking with her back to the room.

Katara thinks back to Zuko's kindness – him fixing her a cup of tea – and then to him burning her wrists in warning when he had her up against the wall. Then there was the curious expression on his face and the silent reaction to the dead plant. He's so back-and-forth that she's having a hard time gauging what he's really thinking and what he's going to do.

She can't build a defensive plan around this. He's too fickle, too changing.

There's something… something about all of this that makes her wonder. Suddenly, Katara isn't so sure if she'd rather be in Zhao's or Zuko's cell.

-/-

It's been five days since she was first captured by Zhao. Three days since Zuko took her and Zhao into his ship.

Five days since she's seen the moon and felt its' power go through her body.

She'll never get all of her energy and ability back until she can soak in the moon. She won't be able to bloodbend, either. As much as she doesn't like to resort to using the methods that Hama taught her, it's her only way to get out of this ship.

Zuko and his men will expect her waterbending. What they won't expect is her ability to bend  _them_.

Katara is more than eager to see the surprise on the Prince's face when she finally gets her power back.  _All_  of her power.

Her hands haven't itched since her fight with Zuko. The excitement and adrenaline of the small – and honestly, quite pathetic because they were both holding back – fight seem to have sated her violent urges for the time. The bending she does when she takes baths hasn't quite cut it.

That night, Katara dreams of fighting Zuko.  _Really_  fighting Zuko. It would be a close match with her at her full power and him not concerned with wanting her and the surroundings unharmed. It would be violent but beautiful: Fire and water. Steam and smoke. Ice and lava.

She wakes before she finds out who wins. She wants to say that she will, but even she's not for sure. She has yet to see Zuko in all of his firebending glory. He's talented, though. She could tell that by watching and fighting against him yesterday.

Hopefully, she will be able to see him unleash all of his bending ability before she freezes him in a coffin of ice.

When Lee comes to get her, she expects for him to take her back to Zuko. They walk right by the door though. She pauses at it, sure that Lee's made a mistake but he motions for her to follow so she does. Soon, they're in front of a smaller door and she's confused when Lee knocks and opens it for her.

Inside is the gray-haired man from Zuko's office from two days ago.

He makes her even more nervous than Zuko does. Maybe it's because when she walks in he smiles and actually  _bows_  to her. Her eyebrows shoot up to her hairline and she takes a step back as Lee closes the door, shutting her inside the room with the man with the kind wrinkles on his face.

"W-Why did you that?" For some reason, the bow of respect shakes her more than anything recently. It was so…  _out of nowhere_. She was a prisoner – he shouldn't be bowing to her. She stands, her hands by her sides awkwardly, eyes wide and mouth open as he waves her towards one of the many cushions around a tea table like the one Zuko has in his office.

"A beautiful lady like yourself deserves to be bowed to," he says simply. "Please, have a seat."

Katara  _blushes_ , of all things. The man's eyes are sparkling and the smile hasn't left his face since she came in. She soothes down the front of her tunic that is still torn at the stomach from her fight yesterday. She wishes that she had changed out of it into a fresh one and then admonishes herself – this man, no matter how  _nice_  is still the enemy.

Katara lowers herself onto a cushion across from him and he finally sits. His hands go through the tea-making process and soon there's a steaming cup being thrust into her hands. Katara takes it with a small, but weak and faltering, smile as she watches his face carefully.

At least it's tea. She can always bend it just in case anything strange – no, in case anything  _stranger_ happens. "Thank you," she cups it in her hands, liking the feel of warm porcelain in her hands. They didn't have finery like this in the South. It's so…pretty and delicate that she feels the need to be as gentle as possible with it like it's a child instead of a cup.

She waits until he takes a sip before she takes her own.

It's delicious. Warm, soothe and light on her tongue but with more flavor than she expected. Katara is positive that she moans a little, much to the delight of the man. He beams even though she's trying to duck her head to hide the embarrassed blush that warms her cheeks.

"This... This is amazing," she can't help but compliment. "What sort of tea is it?"

"A little flavor of my own. Jasmine leaves with a bit of rosemary and pepper. I had to experiment for weeks to get it just right."

Katara keeps drinking until she's finished with her cup. Then he pours her another.

It's very hard to imagine this tea-pouring man with a lazy smile as a firebending killer but she remembers that Zuko had said that he was a Master. She forces the image in her mind so that she doesn't get too comfortable. It's hard when he keeps pouring her cup after cup of tea.

"My nephew can be a little rough around the edges," the man takes notice of the ripped fabric and the very light burn on her stomach. Katara re-arranges the tunic so that it's covered. "He is a young man though, and young men are often rather hot-headed. He  _is_ good. He wouldn't cause you pain just to see you suffer."

"Your nephew? That would make you General Iroh – right? Or does Zuko have any other uncles that the world doesn't know of?" She pointedly ignores what he says about the Prince.

He nods. "Iroh will suffice. I'm no longer the General that I once was. Some fates are abandoned in favor of others." Well at least she knows who he is now.

Katara acts like she knows what he means. She looks away awkwardly and takes a sip of her second cup of tea. She shifts on the cushion.

"He has good intentions… even if those intentions and the way he goes about fulfilling him are directed the wrong way." Iroh frowns at his tea – the smile disappearing for the first time since she's seen him – and Katara quirks an eyebrow. What was he talking about? None of this made any sense.

He blinks and looks back up at her as if he's just realizing that she's sitting across from him. The smile returns. "If Prince Zuko does anything to harm you intentionally, please don't hesitate to come tell me."

"I normally don't run to strange men with my problems." Katara sets her empty cup on the table. Iroh moves to pour her another but she holds her hand up to stop him. "No thank you. It  _was_  delicious, though."

"I'm glad that you enjoyed it. As for the running to  _strange men_ , we've shared tea and a conversation, are we still strangers? Acquaintances, perhaps, but strangers?" He shakes his head teasingly.

Iroh is strange. Katara can't decide if she likes the strangeness or if it bothers her.

"A wise man once told me that oftentimes, strangers are the best people to tell about your problems. That way, they can offer true advice free of any prejudices or concerns about keeping a friendship."

"Somehow I have the feeling that he wise man is you and that you just made that up to convince me to come talking to you about your nephew."

"Then your feeling would be correct." His smile grows broader and he takes a long sip from his tea. Katara can't even stifle her giggle.

When Iroh offers to pour her another cup, she doesn't refuse.

-/-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story will be moving very fast. So all I will say is don't get too comfortable... That is all.
> 
> I cannot promise that updates will continue to be posted so quickly. Spring semester will start soon and I'm taking a heavy class load. There may not be a whole lot of time for fic-writing. However, I am a few chapters ahead so hopefully that will ease the blow a bit.
> 
> Thank you for the support. Y'all are awesome!


	5. Chapter 5

She's asleep when she hears the metal door creak open.

Katara's energy is slowly returning even though she's nowhere near where she used to be; she can feel the intruder's blood move though his body and the faint pulsing of a heartbeat. It's a man and he's alone.

She keeps her back to the door where she lies on the bed and waits. Eyes closed and breath even so that her visitor will think she's asleep.

Her hands grip the sheets tighter though and her body stiffens. She waits.

"I know you're awake." The Prince states and Katara's eyes open. She can't see him, but she can hear him close the door before he takes a few steps closer to the bed. "Lee says you wake up at the same time every morning."

"And what if I decided to sleep in?" She asks bitterly. Katara sits up though, the blanket pooling at her waist as she turns to face him with her back against the headboard. It's warm and she's in her bindings – Katara doesn't miss his eyes narrow when he looks at her.  _Interesting_.

"Your back hasn't healed completely yet." Zuko takes notice. Katara doesn't know what sort of condition the  _skin_  of her back is because she refuses to look in mirrors when she goes to the bathroom, but she does know that the wound has healed. By the look on the Prince's face though, she guesses that it's scarred over.

He doesn't seem to like that.

Curious, Katara reaches her arm around to her back and feels along the skin. Sure enough, it's no longer smooth and soft like it was. Now it's rough and coarse, bumpy underneath her fingertips. What she wants to do is see what it looks like now that she knows the skin is marred. Does it look like Zuko's scar?

"I haven't been able to restore myself. You and Zhao have kept me from the moon." Katara crosses her arms over her chest and glares at him. Surely he knows about that. It's not exactly rare knowledge that waterbenders get their power from the moon just like firebenders get theirs from the sun.

But by now it probably won't make a difference. Even if Zuko lets her sleep on the deck underneath the moon's light her back will never heal. It's been too long, and the burn was too much. She's been too exhausted and the scar will stay with her forever.

Katara likes that. Being a healer and bloodbender, her body has always been able to heal herself. She's never had the badges of honor that cover her brother's and her father's skin. Now she has one of her own. Part of her life's story is on her skin just like the etching at her waist.

She hopes it's impressive looking. It wouldn't be fair if she went through all of that pain just to come out with a pathetic scar.

Zuko looks like he's going to say something but he seems to think better of it. Something on his face is torn, his back stiffens and he gains control over himself again. Katara wonders who taught him how to do that – how to get command of himself that quickly. It might have been gained through experience and age though, but she's still sure someone had to show him how to do that.

His temper is too volatile-seeming to believe otherwise.

"You took the water from the plant the other day, didn't you?"

It takes her a moment to realize what he's talking about. "Maybe, maybe not. Why? Do you think I did?"

"How did you do it?"

"How did I do  _what_?" She goads him. It works because his eyes flash and his cheeks get a tad bit redder.

"How did you  _take the water_?"

"Did I take it?"

"You just said you did!"

"No I didn't. I said that I  _might_ have. That's two totally different responses,  _Prince_. And shouldn't you already know the answer? Fire Nation Royalty seems to have the answers for everything else so I don't really see how this is any different."

He actually breathes steam from his nose and she's sure that she sees a flicker of flame at his hands. She smiles because she's winning.

Katara slips from underneath the covers and stands by the bed. The black pants that she found in the dresser are so long that they drag on the floor when she walks to where she discarded her tunic during the night. She pulls it over her head, adjusting it a bit.

"I've never seen a waterbender take from plants before." Zuko utters under his breath and she almost doesn't hear him. He isn't looking at her at first, but then he is and Katara is a little caught off guard by the curiosity in them. "How did you do it?"

She actually  _pauses_  before she denies it. "If you've never seen a waterbender do it before then why do you ask? Seems like you think it's impossible."

"I know what I saw the other day. Somehow, you got your hands on more water and my plant is dead. That means that you had to have taken it and I want to know how you did it."

"Why? Are you planning on trying to take water from a plant? You're a firebender so I'm pretty sure that  _is_  impossible no matter if I actually did it or not."

"I know what I saw! Stop beating around the bush and  _just_   _tell me_   _the truth_!" Katara takes a step back when he moves towards her, eyes angry and his body tense as fists form by his sides and she's actually a little worried that she pushed him a bit far.

But it doesn't matter. Because that worry is eclipsed by the fact that she got that controlling exterior of his to fall and now she's seeing the real Zuko. The one with a temper that matches the fire in his veins.

"What if I told you that I did?"  _That_  makes him stop his advance and he looks at her, his eyes going from angry to scrutinizing her as if trying to figure out if she's trying to tell him that she did, in fact, take the water. "What would you do then?"

Zuko blinks. "I-I don't know." At his sides, his hands relax like the rest of his body and he looks away from her. "But did you? Did you take the water from the plant?"

"My answer depends on  _yours_. I'm not admitting or denying anything until I know what you're thinking about doing to me."

Katara watches as the Prince takes in a deep breath. His anger is gone but the control isn't back up yet. She caught him off guard, surprised him with her sudden turn of tone and she sees that he's more than a little confused about everything.

"Un-General Iroh has learned several things from studying waterbenders." He pauses as if he's going over what he's about to say multiple times and she waits patiently even though she's  _very_  interested in what he's going to offer.

But Zuko sharply turns his head to look at her. "How were you able to get the water from the plant? You already said that you haven't seen the moon in days so you don't have your full strength yet. Wouldn't that have taken a lot of energy?"

"I'm not as strong as I could be. Yes, taking the water made me a lot weaker because it took up so much of my energy. Why did you think that you were able to beat me so quickly?" She realizes after she answers that she just told him that she took it from the plant.

Katara watches him carefully. He doesn't seem angry or confused just... intrigued.

Understanding flickers across his face and he seems satisfied. "I was wondering why you seemed… weaker than I expected. Your wave that stopped Zhao's fire was impressive even though it nearly killed you."

Katara bites on the inside of her cheek. Where was he going with this, again?

"Can you do anything else?"

 _Yes_. "No." Zuko doesn't need to know about the bloodbending. She can't do it until she feels the moon anyway and she's saving  _that_  show for last.

He looks a little disappointed and she fights the urge to smile.

Zuko reaches inside the pocket of his tunic and he pulls out the knife she had the other day. He looks down at it then back up at her before extending his arm to hand it to her. Katara stares at it.

"Some of the men are angry because you attacked one of them in the kitchen. I will let you keep this for protection only in case you are unable to defend yourself and they make it past Lee."

"Is that a smart move,  _Prince_?"

He smirks. "I've seen you try to fight with it. It's a pathetic weapon and to be honest, you're an even more pathetic knife wielder. I'm guessing you've never had any formal training?"

"I'm a waterbender. Why would I need to know how to work a knife?" Katara glowers at him, rather insulted by his comment. She thought she had done  _okay_  for her first time with the short weapon. Katara had used spears once or twice when they hunted and a skinning knife but that was nothing like using one to actually kill.

"If you had known how to use one the other day, you might have gotten away."

Katara looks at him. The knife is still held out to her and she reaches out gingerly, wary as if he's going to slice her wrist when she gets close enough. Before he can do that, she grabs it and yanks it away from him so that she's holding it instead of him. He makes no move to stop her.

"If you try to use it to injure one of my men when they're not trying to attack you, I will not hesitate to punish you. That  _is_  a warning, waterbender."

"I've never been good with warnings." Katara shrugs her shoulders. Zuko's lips tug up in the corner but there's no smile. "But giving me this knife isn't going to make me talk about the Avatar. You, Lee and your uncle can try to woo me all you want. It's not going to happen."

The knife slips underneath her pillow where she had kept it before. Despite the fact that she is glad she has another – although far less effective – weapon near her, she wasn't blind to what they were trying to do. Giving her a false sense of comfort with the room and the bed, security with the knife, fake friendship with Lee and Iroh's tea.

Their methods were different than Zhao's. But that didn't make them any more dangerous. Katara had to keep her guard up so that she didn't enjoy their company too much. After she had come back from General Iroh's room, Katara had kicked herself for being so stupid. These people weren't her  _friends_. Lee at the very most was a fickle ally.

She had to be stronger.

"I'm not in charge of your interrogations. That is the Fire Lord's duty."

"But you want to know about the Avatar just as much as Zhao does. You're just as eager, aren't you?"

That's something he doesn't seem to have an answer to. Or an answer that he doesn't want to give  _her_.

"You never trusted Zhao, did you?" Katara continues, watching the Prince carefully as she spoke. "I saw it when you were in his room. You didn't like him then and you definitely don't like him now. You followed him after that, waiting for him to mess up so that you could come leaping in. That's why you were able to get to the boat so fast."

"Anyone who trusts Zhao is foolish. Even my father had his concerns. It would only make sense for someone to stand and watch just in case anything happened. My ship and I happened to be closest to him."

"I'm not an idiot. You had a spy on that ship. There's no way you could have known otherwise. I bet –"

" _Enough_. I don't need to answer to  _you_." The interruption and the tightness that appears in his shoulders is more than enough for her. Zuko might not have answered her in his words, but he didn't have to. His reaction is more than enough to confirm what she had been thinking ever since that day.

Her lips curl up into a victorious smile. "But you already have."

Something breaks in Zuko and he's launching himself at her. His hands grab onto her arms tightly, hauling her close to him as he stares down at her. He's hot – his heart is beating erratically and there's steam coming from his breath and his hands are uncomfortably warm.

Her own heart skips at the heat.

It makes her start to wriggle. She can't bend because there's no water or plants around so she starts shoving her hands at his chest and kneeing his thighs to get some room in between them. He tightens his grip on her arms, the heat getting warmer, and she pushes against him harder.

There's a flicker of something in his eyes and before Katara can really figure out what that  _something_  is, she's being pushed away. Katara's legs hit the bed and she sits, catching herself by putting her palms down and she gasps. She hadn't expected  _him_  to shove  _her_  away.

Zuko's jaw is clenched when he turns away abruptly and storms out of the room. The door slams shut behind him, leaving her slack-jawed with the heat fading from her arms and curiosity in her mind.

Well that was… odd. Odd and most interesting.

-/-

Katara has braided her hair twice and read the rest of the poems in the red book when there's a light knock on the door. A moment later, Lee opens and comes in. She shuts the book and sets it to the side, sitting up on the bed so that she can get a good look at him in the low candlelight.

He flicks his wrist just barely and the candles flare. The room becomes brighter.

"The Prince has agreed to let you eat in the kitchen, tonight. He hopes that you will not cause any more disturbances." Lee states. "I assured him that you wouldn't."

"Never assure him anything. Especially when you can't guarantee it." Katara gives him a flat stare. Rather reluctantly, she clambers out of the bed and straightens the hem of her tunic before she slips on the black flats. She's not even hungry, really. She'd much rather stay in her room alone than go in the kitchen just to be stared at.

If they wanted to give her fresh air they should take her outside. Will she ever see the moon again?

Lee shakes his head as she crosses her arms over her chest and waits for him to lead her out. She suspects that he will handcuff her like he has before, but he doesn't. Katara hasn't been cuffed since her fight with Zuko when he threw the metal clamps on his table before dismissing her.

"If I ask you something, will you tell me the truth?" Katara asks him when they're walking to the kitchen.

The look he gives her is a bit wary but he slowly nods his head. "Sure, I suppose."

"Is Zhao still on board?"

"Yes. Of course I can't tell you where he is being held –"

"Does he know that you were Zuko's spy?"

"– because we can't – wait,  _what_?" His eyes widen and he blanches when she stares at him. "I-I didn't –what –"

"You were the one who let Zuko know about the burning."

"I-I…" Lee finally gets control of himself and clears his throat. Looking around to make sure that they are alone in the hall, he leans closer to her. "My loyalty is to the Fire Nation. Not to any one Captain."

"So you admit to it."

"I admit to serving my Nation. Nothing more." Lee blinks, then turns away and starts walking back to the kitchen.

Katara hurries to catch up with him. "But why would you turn against Zhao like that? I mean, I know he's not the best person or anything and I'm not surprised that  _someone_  other than me wanted to bring him down but…why? I thought loyalty was a big thing in the Fire Nation."

"Loyalty to country is. Loyalty to one person varies depending on the circumstances." Lee halts and she has to jerk herself back so that she can meet his eyes when he faces her and bends down again. "This conversation is over."

"But – hey,  _wait_  I wasn't finished asking questions!" Lee starts walking again, Katara scrambling to catch up with him again. She was starting to get a little whiplash from all of the stopping and starting.

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not," she huffs indignantly.

"Yes. You  _are_." His voice is tighter now. Katara clamps her mouth shut and follows after him silently. Her curiosity, while peaking and nagging at her, knows that she's about to cross a boundary. Lee's getting defensive and unlike Zuko, she actually kind of  _likes_  the Fire Nation guard even though she knows she shouldn't.

Both Lee and Katara are quiet when they eat. Katara can't help but try to come up with reasons why Lee would turn against Zhao in favor of Zuko. The answer about loyalty  _should_  make sense but it doesn't. Not to her.

The move should have brought Lee some sort of personal gain. But from what she could see, his status hasn't changed much. He is still guarding her, wearing the same robes and Zuko hasn't said he was promoted or anything. Lee seems to still be the same guard he was before. Surely if he had showed his devotion to his country by handing over a corrupted captain, he would have gained  _something_.

But he hasn't. And that is what troubles her. The Southern Water Tribe even had rewards for soldiers who showed that they were loyal to the tribe rather than their superiors. It didn't happen often because there were so few left and the tribesmen by nature were not very ambitious but still. They had something.

The Fire Nation, whose entire foundation was built on ambition alone, should have some sort of reward system for behavior like Lee's. He shouldn't be stuck guarding her, he should have been promoted to Captain of his own crew or something. Even if Zuko was waiting for the Fire Lord to bless the promotion, there should still be stirrings of it.

There were none though. And that makes Katara very suspicious of Lee's claims of national devotion.

Lee walks with Katara when they slide their plates in the bins. Supper has gone without anything happening. Everything is quite normal – quiet and there are far too many heated stares sent in her direction, but it's about as normal as it's going to get and Katara has come to accept that.

She tries very hard to ignore the moon's pull when she's in the hallway. The kitchen is close to the open air of the deck. Wanting nothing more than to run out and soak up the energy, she has to grit her teeth and force herself to follow after Lee.

That act of defiance will  _not_  go unpunished like her knife incident did.

When she's in her room, alone, Katara stands by her door until she hears the click of the lock. She bites the inside of her cheek and waits until she hears Lee's footsteps walk away and there's nothing but silence outside before she goes over to her bed.

Before she takes two steps, Katara pauses.  _The lock_. She walks back to the door and bends down so that she can see the handle. It's hard to see because of the dim light, but when she shifts away from it a bit she can see that there is a tiny slot just under the handle where the lock is. Just the right size for…

Katara rises and practically runs over to her bed. She slips the knife out from the pillow, holding it close to the light. Zuko's right; the knife makes a pathetic weapon and probably won't hurt anyone if she ever tries to stab them. But it's just thin enough at the edge that she might be able to…

She's back by the door in a matter of seconds, bent down on her knees with the knife in one hand and a lit candle by her side. Her hand doesn't shake when she slides the knife's tip in the tiny slot. It doesn't go very far and when she wriggles it around, she can feel something hard pressing against it that prevents much more movement.

Teeth biting the inside of her cheek and eyes narrowing in concentration, she wriggles it a little harder, digging it further into the tiny hole so that she can get more leverage against the block. If she could just –

– the block gives and she hears a click. Katara's heart stops beating for a moment and her eyes widen a fraction _. She just_   _unlocked a door with a knife_. Testing it, she reaches up to turn the knob and sure enough, she's able to twist it all the way.

Katara gently lets it go back so that it doesn't make any noise to alert anyone that might be nearby. It takes a bit of pulling to get the knife out of slot but she manages, landing on the back of her heels when she gets it free.

A slow smile spreads across her face. The Prince has just given her a way to escape.

He's helped her in more ways than he –and she – ever thought possible.

-/-

The moon calls to her strongly that night.

It's getting close to a full moon. The three days before and the three days after the full moon, she's at her weakest. It's a balance – nature always has a way of doing that – and her weak points are not  _really_  that weak but she can tell when she bends that there's a difference. It's harder. She uses more energy. Sometimes, her waves are not that powerful.

One time, her weakness almost killed her father when she was unable to drown a firebender's fire blade because she had been fighting for nearly two hours. Luckily, Sokka had been there and their father was able to get out relatively unscarred and unburned. Barely – but he made it out thanks to his sun.

Katara grimaces at the memory. She hates thinking about times when she's failed.

But with the weakness comes a peak that she can definitely notice. Her waves are always towers and her ice is always unbreakable, even to the hottest of fires she's able to withstand it. Those are the memories Katara likes best; ones where she was able to overturn an entire Fire Nation ship or the times when she was praised as a battle hero because she took on the firebenders almost single-handedly and won.

Getting power from the moon certainly has its drawbacks, but the rewards that she reaps are more than enough to make up for it.

By her guesses, the full moon is less than a few days away – four at the very most. She has the next day to build up her energy and then she should rest the three days after that because she'll be at her weakest.

But on that fourth day… Well, Katara probably shouldn't make plans of escaping yet. But the knife under her pillow taunts her and so does the unlocked door. She has a way out, and she'll be stronger than the other benders. She can finally get out and get back to her Tribe…

It's more than enticing. Katara has missed the moon so much that feeling the pull almost makes her want to cry out in frustration. She should be  _out_ s _ide_ on the deck, absorbing the power now that it's strong. She'll be weak; she'll need the energy for those three days.

She shouldn't. If the soldiers catch her outside her room, they'll know she got out somehow – they'll search her room and find the knife – and there's no telling what will happen then. No, Katara  _knows_  what will happen. Zuko will have no choice but to take it back and banish her to a  _real_  cell. One without a bed and books and clothes and a door and baths.

It'll be like Zhao all over again. Only this time, she can't count on nice guards to give her water or a Fire Prince to bombard the ship. They've been traveling for four days now, not counting the one full day she was on Zhao's ship. When she was captured, she was on the opposite side of the Earth Nation. If it took about three weeks to get around…

She'll be in the prison for about two weeks. After only being in the cell in Zhao's ship for a night and nearly dying, she isn't exactly wanting to back down in there.

So why does the pull of the moon seem more and more enticing?

Against her better judgment, Katara slides out of the bed and pulls on the black tunic. She moves slowly – she shouldn't be doing this, she  _shouldn't_ be getting dressed, she  _shouldn't_  be tucking the knife up her sleeve, she  _shouldn't_ be sliding her feet into the flats, she  _shouldn't_ be walking towards the door, she  _shouldn't_  be twisting the handle.

But she is. And before she can stop herself, she's slipped out between the tiny crack and she's in the hallway with her back pressed up against the wall and the door closing behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the continued support!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: Trigger warning. Pretty violent chapter.

Katara checks down both sides to make sure there is no one in the hall. Luckily, there isn't. Pushing herself off the wall, she creeps towards the direction of the deck, practically tip-toeing and hugging the shadows so that she won't be seen.

The flats are all silent on the floor and for that, she's thankful because her heart is beating loudly enough for anyone remotely close to hear it.

Her blood is racing excitedly though her veins, palms itching for a fight because of all the anticipation building up inside of her and the sinking feeling in her stomach that she's going to get caught. But she won't – Katara isn't going back down in some cell for two weeks and she'll fight back. If she can make it to the deck before they catch her, she'll be fine… she thinks…

The moon is pulling at her body as if it's attached thousands of tiny strings to her arms and legs. Her body moves without her even telling it to, and eagerness catches in her throat because she's  _finally_  going to feel the moon and she hasn't seen it in  _so long_  –

– she hears her guest's heartbeat before she actually sees him.

Katara lies flat up against the wall, attempting to absorb into the metal as if she's invisible. Her breathing stops because for some reason, she just  _can't_ , and her eyes are wide and the beats are getting nearer, stronger.

They can see her. Oh Spirits, she's going in the cell for  _sure_  if she doesn't get on the deck before they grab her.

But the person turns down a hall. The beats dim as more distance is put between the two. Katara is finally able to breathe again.

Her legs don't start moving again though – the person, they really scared her for a moment. This is too dangerous, she's risking too much coming out here and she should go back to her room. The moon, though…

A frustrated whimper escapes her and she closes her eyes. The moon wants her to go one way but common sense is telling her to go back to her room and forget that this ever happened. It's what she should do. It's safer in her cell; she won't be locked in a real prison for the remainder of her trip if she goes back to her bed and goes to sleep.

She's so absorbed in her dilemma that he doesn't even register the other heartbeat until they're far too close for her liking

Someone's hand wraps around her arm and yanks her into a corner. She's pressed up against the wall before she can even blink. One hand is on her arm, pressing her deeper into the darkness and the other is over her mouth so that she can't even gasp in surprise.

 _Stupid_.

Her eyes are wide and straining in the darkness so that she can try to see who he is. She can't though, but luckily his hands are staying where they are and he is trying to steady his heartbeat. Katara doesn't lift her hands to fight him off.  _Yet_. But if he so much as moves…

" _What are you doing out here?_ " Lee hisses and she probably shouldn't be startled but she is. " _Do you know what you're risking? Do you know what will happen if you get caught?"_

Katara sort of rolls her eyes at the irony – Lee has, after all,  _caught her in the hall_  and all he's doing is scolding her. She can't speak though with his hand covering her mouth. So she settles for worming her hands between them to try to shove him away. Lee sighs but backs away just slightly, turning his head to look back down the hallway.

His heart has calmed down considerably but it's still racing. He starts to tug her back towards her room and she's going willingly before the moon  _pulls_  at her blood and she freezes.  _The moon_  – it's so close, it's  _just around the corner_  and she really needs the energy so that she can feel whole again.

" _What are you doing?"_  Lee tugs on her arm a bit harder. Katara moves an inch. " _Are you crazy? Snap out of it, Katara, we need to get you back before someone sees you!"_

She turns her head to look over her shoulder and she swears she can see the light around the bend. It's tugging at her: her blood, her heart, her mind, her legs - they're all affected and she really just wants to  _see_ it. It's been so long…

Lee's yanking at her. He's huffing, his heart pounding in his chest and she knows that if she only had the full power of the moon in her blood, she could make him let her go but she  _doesn't_  and that's why she needs to see it. That's why she needs to feel it on her skin and her face. She  _needs_  it more than anything and Lee's  _stopping_  her.

He's shocked when she begins to wrench herself away from him, fighting with his tugs by planting her feet firmly on the ground and throwing her weight back. He's strong though and he holds on. Katara gets a hand free and starts digging her nails into his skin and he hisses.

" _Katara_." Lee gives her one strong pull and she's yanked forward into his chest. Lee makes quick work, picking her up and throwing her over his shoulder. His heart is racing faster than she thought possible and he's practically running back to her room.

She fights him every step of the way. She wriggles, twisting and turning and he's holding on to her with both of his arms wrapped around her now. Katara bites into his back, claws her nails across the fabric of his tunic, presses her knees into his chest and stomach. Her eyes are wide, frantic just like her blood because the moon is disappearing. She can't see the light anymore.

A door opens and she's thrown unceremoniously on her bed. Katara snaps up in an instant, scowling and she's racing for it again – Lee stops her with a strong swoop of his arm against her midsection and she's tossed up against the dresser.

She catches herself – barely – and she's rushing at him again, her hands already working to pull water from the air. But she's too weak for that and she didn't get to the moon so all she gets is dryness on her palms.

The feeling enrages her. Katara starts hitting him, punching him as he stands in between her and the closed door. He's trying to hold her back, grasping at her wrists to restrain her but he's meeting only empty air.

"Katara –  _stop_ ,  _stop this_!" Lee finally grabs onto her arm and Katara punches him square in the jaw with her free one before he grabs that one as well. Katara is a crying, kicking mess when he pushes her back to her bed. She hadn't even realized that she was tearing up.

 _Water_. Her fingers flick and the water from her cheeks disappears to form a small whip. It's pathetic, but Lee's eyes widen and she starts working her feet in between them to push at his stomach so that she has room to bend.

" _Katara_." He's panicking because she's winning. He's no longer pushing her into the mattress and her desperation is overpowering his strength.  _The moon_  – she needs the moon so much it hurts.

His heart pumping lets her know that Lee is actually frightened. Katara snarls at him and manages to push against him hard enough that he actually lets go of her wrists. Her hands raise and the water whip swipes at his cheek –  _a scratch_  – and she's already bounding for the door.

"Wait – no!" Lee is calling out after her. But her hand is on the knob and she's turning it, yanking it open and now she's  _running_  out and into –

– Katara collides against a chest and she rebounds back into the room, having made no more than a step outside. She lands on her back, palms already going to the floor to push herself up but there's a boot on her chest that presses her down. She hits her head on the metal ground and she snaps her eyes closed.

A searing heat passes by her head and her water whip is evaporated instantly. Her lips curl into a sneer, rage making her see in red and black and she looks up at the man who had _dared_  stop her from going to the moon.

It's the guard who demanded an apology from her.

Another steps in from behind him and the door closes solidly. The sound echoes in the small room. A chill runs down her back.

Katara refuses to look away from his stare, the scowl still on her lips. It doesn't look much different from this man's smile.

"Soldier Ji - Prince Zuko has orders and -" Lee starts to step forward. The other guard steps between the two, stopping Lee's advance even though his eyes haven't left the man whose boot is planted on her chest.

"I know what the  _Prince_  ordered." Ji snaps back. "Don't quite understand why he's so adamant that the waterbender remain untouched. She's the one who started it all."

"Get  _off_  of me." She warns in a low growl.

Ji bends down a little. "Or you'll  _what_?" Her eyes narrow. His glisten from amusement. "The little Prince still hasn't managed to get anything out of you, has he? Can't say I like his idea of interrogation. Much prefer Zhao's myself. You know, there's men on the ship who love to tell stories about how you  _screamed_  like a whore when he burned you."

Her nails dig into the metal floor. Lee tries to move again but he's stopped by the other guard.

"I wonder how loud  _I_ can make you scream?"

"Soldier Ji you don't want to do this." Lee says tightly. Ji doesn't look away. All the fury and hatred and hunger on his face is directed straight at her. Katara refuses to falter. She won't be shown up by  _him_.

Ji holds his palm up, flicks his fingers and a ball of flame appears. Katara can't help that her eyes immediately shift to it, blood starting to freeze in her veins as her body tenses. The soldier with the sick smile notices because soon after, the flame burns brighter.

"They say that Water Tribe women taste the sweetest of all the women in the world." Ji speak nonchalantly. He twists his wrist and the flame disappears but Katara's shoulder stay strained tight against the floor. "They also say that they burn the brightest."

"You're sick," she repeats the words she had thrown at Zuko earlier. Only this time, she means it.

"Oh am I? Funny, I'm not the firebender who lets prisoners get by easily just because they spread their legs." He looks down at hers. "Even if they are nice."

Katara's heart is hammering in her chest. So is Lee's. The other firebenders, though...their's is so calm and steady that it's almost scaring her.

"I think she likes it, Ji." The other guard chuckles. "But we should show her how real firebenders treat their prisoners."

Lee surges forward but the guard slams him back up against the wall. Ji looks at the two. "Knock him out. He'll cause too much trouble if you don't."

The other guard, larger and more muscular, has no trouble taking Lee's head and pounding it up against the wall. Katara shakes, jumping at the harsh sound. Her eyes watch as her ally's body slumps and then drops to the ground with a  _thud_. She's alone.

Ji moves his foot and grabs her by the arms. He hauls her up easily, like she weighs nothing and is trash, and brings her face right up to his. His palms are warm but not comfortable. They burn, searing through her fabric so that his fingers touch her bare skin while his breath that smells of brimstone washes over her face.

"You should have apologized when you had the chance."

Katara forces down the wince when his palms start to heat up. She can't show weakness. Not here, not  _now_. She's a waterbender, and water will always be stronger than fire. They can burn her but they  _won't_ touch her.

"I'll never apologize to Fire Nation  _scum_." She's haughty, scowling with the fierceness of a mother polar beast. Ji doesn't like her answer and he manages to look every bit as angry as Zhao when he throws her down on the bed.

Katara bounces, head hitting the pillow at an uncomfortable angle and pain shoots down her neck. Hot hands are pulling at her ankles, yanking her further down the mattress and another pair is at her wrists, forcing them up above her head with her palms facing down.

"Try to waterbend all you want. You're not getting out of this." Ji gives her a smile that makes her stomach churn. Katara kicks, hits his chest and his jaw before he growls and grabs them. There's fire - flaming, hot and bright yellow and she arches her back to gasp. It hurts - so much  _pain_  and anger lacing up from her ankles where he's still holding her and she jolts, trying to yank her legs out of his grasp.

He drops them and she gasps as the cold air licks at the burns. Her blood is already churning, the healing making her teeth gnash in slight pain but she can't think about that. Ji's hands are on her waist and his knee is forcing her legs apart.

" _Scream_." The guard at her head jeers.

Katara doesn't scream. Instead, she snarls. Snarls like a rabid beast as her hips buck to get his heated hands off of her and away from the rising hem of her tunic. He gives up on bringing it up, instead he lights it on fire.

Flames touch her abdomen and chest and she bites her tongue to keep from crying out. The taste of blood forces her to concentrate on getting him off and soon she's arching her back up to get some distance between their touching bodies. Ji sucks the flames up and off of her clothes. Or what remains of her clothes. She feels more cold air on her exposed skin than she ever wants.

The man at her head moves her hands and soon they're buried up underneath the pillow. Katara arches her hips down and away from Ji's yearning hands, pressing them into the mattress so that he can't tug down her leggings to get what he wants.

Her fingers scrape against metal.

Her focus sharpens.

The knife is in her hands.

Before she can even think about what she's going to do next, she grabs it so hard that her nails dig into the skin when she has the knife in her palm. Katara uses every bit of strength she has to yank her arms out from the pillow and she pulls with all of her might. Her body snaps out of the man's gasp and soon she's meeting Ji's surprised -  _panicked_  - eyes.

Katara stabs the knife so deep in his heart that one of her fingers slips into the wound too.

She yanks the blade out. Looking straight into his eyes, she stabs again. And again. Hard, heavy stabs that have as much hate in them as his eyes had earlier. She's painting his distaste onto her new canvas. Her hatred and his are mixing together to bleed the life out of him.

Blood, hot and red and sick, spills instantly onto her skin. Everyone is in so much shock that they can't do anything but watch as her hands are stained red. It oozes, spurts, dripping down his shirt, onto her fingers, and onto her bedspread and her leggings.

She's frozen. Something about the way the blood pours out has her transfixed. She can't look away.

Ji's eyes roll and he falls to the side. His heartbeat is so slow that she knows he doesn't have much longer than a few moments left. Katara's hand shakes where she still has it held, empty, in mid-air. Her knife is deep in his chest.

There's a gurgle, a wet moan. And then there's nothing.

She can't breathe. Her hands are warmer than they should be. Looking down, she sees that they are still instead of shaking. They're...calm. So calm that it scares her just as much as the redness that is seeping into her skin.

Did she cut herself? No - the redness is  _his_  - it's Ji's. It's all his and it's all so much.

Katara hears the faint, rapid heartbeat of the other guard and she turns sharply to face him. His eyes are wide, but when hers narrow and she starts moving her wrists to gather some of Ji's blood, they go wider and wider until they take up his entire face.

He was going to hold her down. He was going to  _show her how real firebenders kept their prisoners_. He was  _helping_  Ji -

She wanted his red, too.

The blood follows her commands. It wraps around the unknown man's neck and she pulls it tighter and tighter like a rope. He claws at his neck, fingers sliding through the redness until they drop at his side.

The only heartbeats in the room are her's and Lee's.

She drops the control over her bending and the blood spills onto the man's neck and torso. The collar of his white shirt turns pink, the blood expanding over his skin and the shirt and she can't help but watch as she sits. Her eyes are wide.

Her breath so far has been calm.

She blinks. She... The men...  _Red._  There is so much red and it's  _everywhere._ Panic clutches at her throat and she's gasping and jumping - falling - off of the bed. She slips on some blood and falls onto the floor. Hands scraping and sliding across the floor, she doesn't stop scattering away from the bed until her back hits the far wall.

She...She...  _She just killed two men._

It should  _not_  startle her. And for some reason, she doesn't think that the death part does. She's killed people before.  _Lots_  of people. But...the blood...

It's all over her hands and her body and she thinks she can feel it on her face. She's stained with Ji's red and it's sinking into her flesh and -

\- her nails are clawing frantically at her skin and she's ripping what's left of her clothes off. Her bindings are on haphazardly, and they're charred in some places but the necessities are still covered. She can't even look at herself because all she can see is red and blood and death.

She's shaking, shivering on the cold metal ground. But it's not from the cold - it's from the  _red_.

So absorbed in the redness that covers her she is, that she doesn't even realize that on the other wall, Lee's heart is beating more strongly and he's stirring. Her head is buried between her knees and her arms are wrapped around her legs. She can't even bring herself to cry.

"Katara..." Someone whispers gingerly. She freezes. A hand - gentle but cautious - brushes against the bare skin of her arm. Katara jolts away and the touch leaves. "Katara  _what happened?"_

She sniffs and finally brings herself to look up. Her eyes swim for a moment before they adjust and she sees Lee looking at her with concern. "They're dead."

His eyes drift down her body -  _Ji's red_  - and they widen a little. When he finally stands and looks at the bed, he breathes in sharply. Katara wonders if what he sees is the red, too. Maybe he sees other colors like her blue.

"Come on." He says softly. Cautiously, he puts his hands on her arms and he slowly pulls her up. Katara puts her legs underneath her even though they're shaking. Her hand rests on his shoulder for support. "We need to inform the Prince about what happened."

He finds a cloak - one that isn't destroyed by the red - and drapes it across her shoulders. Katara doesn't have the strength to close it, so she lets it hang open. The red is exposed for all the ship to see.

But they don't see anyone. Not when they go outside the door - Lee closes it behind her - and not when they walk down the hall towards Zuko's room. Katara's hands hang limply by her sides but she holds her head high. The red may stain her body but she infected those men with her blue. She showed that she was not going to lay by without a fight.

Lee knocks on the Prince's door. Unlike other times, he doesn't automatically open it. Instead he waits and Katara realizes they are at the Prince's bedchamber rather than his office. They wait.

The Prince opens the door, rubbing his eyes and scowling. "What is..." He trails off when he sees the waterbender. Straightening, he looks to Lee for an explanation. "What happened?"

He steps aside so that Lee can prod Katara into entering. She hesitates but soon steps inside.

"Ji and Cho tried to attack her. They knocked me out but..." He looks at the Prince and gulps. "They're dead. I'm not sure what happened other than that.

"Your men," Katara says before Zuko can ask her for her story. "Your men tried to rape me." She swallows down the sickness that she feels in her throat. "I killed them before they could do anything."

She doesn't mention the red, the blood. That's on her body, a part of the story he has to see for himself.

Zuko looks down and she thinks she can see some shame in his eyes but she's not for sure. His arms cross over his bare chest and he turns to Lee. "Get rid of the bodies. We will tell the crew what happens to traitors tomorrow. Send one of the servants to clean up the mess when you've disposed of them."

Lee nods, gives Katara one last look, and then ducks out of the room.

"Did they hurt you?" Zuko asks her, uncomfortable.

"Not nearly as much as I hurt them." She replies honestly.

Zuko finally looks at her -  _really_  looks at her and he seems to finally see the red.  _All_  of the red. Hesitantly, he reaches out, his eyes watching hers to gauge her reaction and he grips the heavy cloak. He pushes it off her shoulders and it falls around her ankles. Katara tenses but she doesn't make a move to stop him.

Warm fingers brush her hair off her shoulders. She holds her breath, eyes on his as his hand drops back down to his side.

"I'm sorry." He says. The apology startles her. The honesty in his eyes does as well.

"Don't be." Her voice is flat like the knife she used to kill Ji. "I was doing it for the Fire Lord. You father shouldn't receive spoiled goods."

His eyes and body harden and he's back to the commanding, controlled Fire Prince. Zuko's stare narrows into a glare and he turns away from her, opening the other door in the room.

"You'll need to wash up. You're covered in blood."

-/-

Katara is taken back to her room when she's done with her bath. She had eventually fallen asleep in the ice - she had frozen it because she couldn't stand the warmth - and Zuko called for a female guard to wake her after they had finished with her room. The guard's eyes were kinder, almost pitying when she helped Katara dry off and dress in a fresh tunic and leggings.

Katara couldn't look at those eyes. This woman should hate her because she killed two fellow firebenders. Katara should hate the guard because she's a firebender. But she can't bring herself to hate the woman with the soft, gentle hands that are shockingly cool on her skin when she pulls the tunic over her head.

When she made it back to her room, she took the new blankets and put them on the floor. She grabs a pillow and the cleaned knife. When she cocoons herself in the sheets and finally falls asleep, she does so with the knife in her hand.

The cold sharpness of the knife erases memories of warm slickness.

Lee doesn't say anything when he brings her breakfast and water in the morning. He doesn't need to. The apology and unspoken words are in his eyes and written on his body as he hands the tray to her. He doesn't even ask why she is sleeping on the floor. He just  _knows_.

She doesn't even tell him wants she wants to tell him: that it's not his fault, that nothing he could have done would have stopped what happened. But she can't find the energy to part her lips so she stays quiet as he closes the door.

For the first time, the  _click_  of the lock makes her shoulders relax.

Iroh brings her tea. It's stronger than the cups she had before. He tells her jokes that almost make her smile. Then, there's sadness in his eyes and he picks up the red and gold book that she likes.

"Ah," he says knowingly. " _Poems from the Fire Nation_. I used to read this to my son when he was young. When he became older, he would read it to Zuko."

Katara's brows furrow. "Your son?" It's the first time she's spoken all day. Her mouth is dry but the sounds are strong.

"Lu Ten. He's a little older than Zuko is now. He was...banished by my brother for... _traitorous actions_."

Katara hears the weight in Iroh's words and doesn't say anything. She didn't know there was a banished Prince somewhere. The rumor was that Lu Ten had died and that was why Ozai had managed to gain the throne.

A king should have heirs and Ozai had two. It's harsh, but that's what she is told.

She wonders if her father knows this. That even if they manage to overthrow Ozai, there is another with a claim to that throne. Another that they - at least,  _she_  - had not counted on. The list of her enemies is growing longer each day.

He leaves, something heavy on his shoulders and she's alone in the quiet. When she closes her eyes to sleep again, she dreams of red princes and flames.

Zuko does not come to see how she's doing. Katara wonders what she would say to him if he did. She wonders what  _he_  would say to her.

-/-

She hears something that does not belong. A heartbeat -  _three_ _beats_  to be exact. One is hers, steady but slowly speeding up, and the other two are different. One calm, the other  _not_. Katara rolls over, sitting up so that she can see her intruders. She holds her blanket around her shoulders.

It's dark and she has to blink through sleepiness for a few moments. The horrors of red have still plagued her dreams and at first, she's a little worried that she's still asleep and just having an awful,  _awful_  dream. But the sharp cold air on her skin tells her that she's still awake.

She isn't sure that's a good thing. She would rather this be a nightmare. After a few seconds, her eyes adjust to the dim lighting and she blinks a few more times so that the rest of the tiredness is gone so that she can see.

Her blood freezes.

Lee is on the floor, knees touching the metal and his head hangs low with shame and with the weight of the other's hand bearing down on his neck. Katara's eyes travels up the arm, fear rising to her throat -  _not again_  - and it catches there.

Learing, with a victorious smile wide and broad in the dark, is Zhao.

Her fists clench around her blanket.

-/-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: This chapter was pretty randomly put together. I didn't really plan this scene out and actually went back to write it. That's why it's so short in comparison to the others and ends sort of randomly. Hope it didn't seem to rushed. I had to make it fit between the prior chapter than the next one so unfortunately, the flow was a bit forced. (Is it bad that this was my favorite chapter to write?)
> 
> As always, thank you so much for the support. It means the world and the moon to me. :D


	7. Chapter 7

She can't tell if Lee knew Zhao was out of his cell or not.

That isn't what's dominating her thoughts right now. Katara meets Zhao's eyes – dark, hungry,  _sadistic_ – and she starts scrambling back. The blanket makes her movements sloppy but eventually she meets the coldness of metal. Her palms scraps against the floor and her slippers slide so she pushes herself of to her hands and knees for better grip and crawls away from him.

He's watching her. Amused.

Zhao grips the back of her tunic and pulls her back, Katara digs her nails into the floor to try to get away but he easily slides her down. When she's back at his feet, he hauls her up. Katara stands on shaky legs, breath quick and heart racing and she's  _shivering_.

 _What was he doing out of the cell? How_  did he get out?

By the door where he is on his knees, Lee shoots a fireball in Zhao's direction. The former captain quickly turns and the flames hit  _her_  instead of the intended target.

She screams as her tunic is caught on fire and the flames lick at her skin. Her hands slam down on the fabric.  _Suffocate the flames_  - oh Spirits it  _hurts._

Zhao shoots a stream of fire back at Lee. Katara's eyes widen in panic just before the guard leaps out of the way, rolling on the floor with his legs tangling in her blanket as he lands.

"Now Lee, let's not hurt the little waterbender too badly, okay? We can't have her dying on my watch." Zhao shifts his grip on her so that his hand is on the stomach burn and he draws the fire away from the tunic and absorbs it in his hand.

Katara exhales in relief. Her skin is burning but at least  _she_  isn't. Her legs shake underneath her as she feels her blood surge to her abdomen to heal what it can. When Zhao wraps his large hand around her wrist and then grabs the other in the same grip, she winces but doesn't fight against him. If she waits, she can catch him off guard…

"Son of a bitch." Lee growls. Katara's eyes flicker up to him and sees that he's still in his fighter stance. He's scared. Lee's heart is racing. His face doesn't give it away but she just  _knows_.

"I knew there was a rat on my ship. Zuko knew far too much and he showed up at the most opportune times for me  _not_  to suspect it. I should have known it was you all along. I have to commend you on a job well done. Didn't suspect you for a moment."

Lee's cheeks redden and his eyes darken but he doesn't reply. Zhao grips her a little tighter against his chest. His other hand wraps around her neck and he squeezes in warning. Slowly, the former Captain moves towards the door and Lee mirrors it, stepping to get closer to the bed so that Zhao is in his view the entire time.

"I'm going to have to ask you to lead the way to Zuko's bedchamber. Don't do anything stupid – I'll burn her. Don't worry though. I won't kill her so that she can  _feel_  the pain." Katara starts trying to move away from him but he squeezes, hand growing warmer, and she stills.

Lee straightens, a scowl on his face and Katara notices that his hand accidentally slips under the pillow on the floor when he stands. He slows – she can't breathe – and she nods her head  _just a little_. Lee moves again and Katara wonders if Zhao noticed the glint of the knife in the dim light.

He doesn't seem to. The man holding her with the too-warm hand on her neck doesn't say another word to Lee as he walks out of the room. Zhao prods her forward with his knee pressing into her thighs. She's proud she only stumbles a little.

When they reach Zuko's room, Lee stops, his hand frozen over the handle like he's thinking about just trying to make a break for it. Zhao flares his fire and Katara can't help but whimper out loud at the uncomfortable heat on her throat. Lee stiffens his shoulders and opens the door.

The room is pitch-black until Zhao lets go of her throat for a moment to light a fire in the palm of his hand. Katara instantly shies away from it, the heat crackling in her ear and warming her for too much for her comfort. Zhao's chest rumbles as she laughs at her.

"Wha –" Katara hears Zuko mumble. Zhao's flames leap out to the candle by Zuko's bed and she finally sees him. He's sitting up, his eyes wide and his hair rumpled loosely around his face. The bleariness from his eyes clears and he instantly hardens when he sees Zhao and Katara.

"You thought you were the only on with friends on other ships?" Zhao says and she can hear his smirk. It infuriates her just as much as it had before. Zuko leaps out of the bed, his hands already forming a ball of fire and Zhao moves his hand with the fire closer to Katara. She squeezes her eyes closed, turning her face away from it. "Let's not get hasty, now."

Katara can feel Zuko's heart. It's significantly calmer than her's and Lee's, but not as calm as Zhao's. She can tell from the quickening and then the slowing that he's struggling to keep himself under control.

The fire moves away and Katara opens her eyes again. Zuko's hands are by his side.

Zhao moves the hand at her wrist to drape across her front. His arm is over hers so she still can't move but… her wrists are free. Her  _palms_  are open.

Katara spots a few potted plants throughout the room.

A guard appears at the door and for a moment, Katara is actually  _elated_  to see a firebender. But when the man immediately turns to Zhao and gives him a low bow, her heart drops to her stomach and Zuko's pounding heart is the only thing she can hear.

"…Bring me General Iroh," is all she manages to catch from Zhao. The guard nods and quickly leaves. Zuko is being betrayed… by some of his own men. This was something that she expected from a man like Zhao – his own crew appeared mutinous when Zuko took over – but she hadn't anticipated Zuko's men turning against  _him_.

From the way Zuko's heart was beating, she imagines that he was thinking the same. For a moment, she can't help but feel sorry for him. His face ranges from sad to shock to furious and she knows that he's clearly trying to get it under control but he can't seem to. Everything is plain on his face.

Zhao still hasn't let go of her. Katara tries to hide the revulsion she feels from being so close to a man that tortured her – literally tried to boil her alive – but it's hard so she focuses all of her attention on the wall behind Zuko's head.

The door closes abruptly and Katara's head snaps over to see that the traitor soldier and General Iroh are standing in the room. The older man doesn't looked concerned at all. In fact, he's expressionless as he ties the bindings around his robe and rests his hands on top of his stomach.

Katara hopes that Zuko wasn't lying about his uncle being a firebender. It's hard to imagine this man with his strong love of tea a master at anything other than making people feel at ease.

"Good. Now that we're all here, perhaps we should get down to business. You – Iroh – stand over in that corner but don't say a single  _word_ to Zuko or anyone else. I'll burn the waterbender's neck clear off. You precious nephew won't have any chance of getting back in his father's graces if I do  _that_.

Iroh goes quietly. He is the perfect opposite of the Prince, whose eyes are darkening while his fists clench tightly at his side. Where Iroh's heartbeat is steady and slow, Zuko's is wild.

Zhao presses down on her shoulders and Katara sinks to her knees. A bombardment of images and feelings from the previous time she did this floods her. She visibly recoils away and can practically feel the flames licking at her back.

She digs her nails into her fists and squeezes them in between her thighs. She can't lose her cool – not yet. She must stay calm as long as possible.

Hand still on her neck, Zhao clears his throat. "There's no use fighting here. We're all supposed to be  _allies_  – friends! We're from the Fire Nation for Spirits' sake. Finding the Avatar will benefit us all, no?" He squeezes. "And now we have  _this_  young thing here who could tell us exactly where she is. So why don't' we all agree to play nice and work together on this?"

"And let you get all the credit?" Zuko snaps. "I don't think so."

Katara decides that one of the reasons why the Fire Nation sucks is because of conversations like these taking place between two extremely ambitious and competitive men. This  _never_  would have happened in the Southern Tribes.

"I'm willing to share." Zhao says cryptically and Katara isn't so sure if he means just the glory… Her own heart pounds in her chest but she remains quiet. She does manage to open her eyes though.

Zuko is glaring at Zhao. "You'll just wind up killing her like you almost did. Then where will we be?  _Nowhere_. You don't have the nation's best interest at heart – only your own!"

His eyes burn as brightly as his fire.

"My interests  _are_  the nation's interests. Sure, my interrogation techniques are a little….rough around the edges but given enough time and I can assure you that they'll work –"

" _No_. You might be willing to risk that but I'm not. There's too much at stake here."

"I have far more experience in this than you do,  _Prince_. Allow me just an hour with her and I can guarantee you that she'll be telling us everything that she knows about the Avatar. Hell, I'll get her to  _sing_."

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Lee shift. He's got the knife in his pocket. Is he going to attack without bending?

"I am taking her the Capital so that she can be interrogated  _correctly_."

Zhao laughs. The sound makes Katara's blood freeze and boil at the same time. "You think their techniques are any different? Where did you think I learned them from, boy? Think all you want about the Capital but I can guarantee that it'll be the same there as it is on this ship. At least here, I do have some other motives for keeping her alive. They won't there. Not unless the Fire Lord takes an interest."

Now, Katara really does shiver. She knows  _exactly_  the type of motive he's talking about. Her stomach turns and she resists the urge to start bending right then and there. Zuko looks down at her for a second before he goes back to Zhao. Was he trying to tell her something?

The plants feel more inviting than ever.

"How about this then, since you're so unwilling to work together for the common, greater good: I'll let you and your uncle walk free off this boat and onto another so that you can land on Earth Kingdom soil, alive and unburned with a few provisions in exchange for your cooperation in giving me the waterbender."

His hand on her shoulder squeezes. Katara watches the Prince carefully. She doesn't  _think_  Iroh will accept… but she's not for sure. Zuko, however… Well she has no idea what he'll do. Looking at him, she can see and feel in the beat of his heart that he's uncomfortable.

"No."

The answer surprises her and Zhao.

Zhao waits. He's giving Zuko time to take back his answer. But the Prince stares him down and lifts his chin a little higher. Katara feels like she can't breathe.

The hand on her shoulder is getting warmer and more uncomfortable. Katara tries to lower herself away from it – Zhao's angry and his heart is starting to speed up and he's becoming warmer and warmer. She thinks she knows what's going to happen next and she would rather not be in the line of fire.

Zhao has other plans. He seems to sense her slying away because the next second, she's hauled back into place and he's got his foot on her back, pushing her down onto her hands and knees on the floor. Katara tries not to break under his weight, forcing herself to stay up as best as she can.

Katara can't see what's going on behind her, but when Zhao move his booted foot off of her, she's relieved.

Until the traitorous guard lashes her back with a fire whip.

She cries out – it was unexpected and she wasn't ready and it was so  _hot_.

Katara can feel Zuko and Lee shift towards Zhao but they're instantly stopped. Zhao has his arm wrapped around her neck and she's hauled up against him like she was before, sitting on her knees with him lowered beside her and his breath on her ear.

"Move again and I'll scar her skin even more. Let me tell you that I'll make it as painful and prolonged as possible, too." Zhao commands. The waterbender opens her eyes and sees Zuko staring wide-eyed at her. He may be her enemy, but he's helpless just like she is right now.

Zhao lets her go but she remains upright. He moves from behind her, stepping closer to Zuko and the guard that was beside Lee comes up to her so that she can't try to get free, either.

"You thought you won earlier, didn't you?" Zhao is saying to Zuko. The Prince stiffens. The General's face grows stern as he watches the Captain speak to his nephew.

Out of the corner of her eye, she catches a glint and she shifts her eyes to Lee. He's got the knife in his hands and the guard's back is turned to him.

"How does it feel now? I've got your crew, your ship, your  _prize_  and your  _honor_  all in the palm of my hand."

Zuko's heart has never raced so fast before.

Katara motions to Lee and he gives her a nod. He looks to the guard who is watching Zhao torment Zuko and then throws the knife to Katara. She catches it easily, rising up and spinning to stab the guard in the chest up to the hilt.

Blood – hotter than normal – pours onto her hands and she yanks the weapon out to stab through again. The body falls to the floor and Katara drops the knife. It's no longer useful to her.

So much red. But she can't think about that - she spins to face Zhao and tries to ignore how warm her fingers are.

"How about we all just –" Zhao starts to speak but the  _thump_ of the guard's body on the ground interrupts him. He's surprised and she's able to twist her torso around to face him as her hands and arms start to move. The water from the plants is free – she can feel the death deep in her blood but she ignores it – and she coats her arms in the liquid, holding them in front of her so that she's  _ready_.

"How about we  _not_." Katara snaps. Her arms shoot forward and some of the water shoots out. She's aiming for a kill – sharpening the point into ice and Zhao barely has time to block it with fire over his hands.

Soaking back up the water that didn't evaporate, Katara recoils and suddenly multiple, tiny ice-discs are heading towards Zhao.

Lee and Zuko seem to understand – Zhao is having to battle off the three different attacks. She's relentless, pulling and yanking before throwing the water back at him in various forms. He fumbles at first, Katara slices his neck with an ice dagger, but he throws a fire stream at Lee. The guard is thrown back into the wall and hits his head, falling down onto the floor as his eyes struggle not to close.

Katara sneers and her attacks become more deadly. But Zhao is able to fend them off with the fire and she's running low on water. It won't be too long before she's out completely. By the look on Zhao's face, she's not sure how long she'll last if that happens.

General Iroh is watching it all with a blank stare.

Zuko and Katara manage to get Zhao in a corner. The door is opened and Katara makes a run for it, making an ice shield with the little water that she still has so that Zhao's barrage of fire missiles are absorbed.

She immediately breaks for the deck – Zuko's calling out after her and Zhao is growling but she ignores them. The moon –  _it's close_! The ocean – she'll be able to get off this damned ship and –

Something heavy and hot smashes against her side and she's thrown into the wall. Her shoulder screams out in pain and she gnashes her teeth together, fists flying at her assailant and she has to duck to avoid a flare.

"You're not –" Katara buries her knee in his stomach, smashes his face against the wall and he's quiet. She's panting, blood boiling under her skin in warning. She's –  _they're_  – under attack but this time it's from the inside. She doesn't know who to trust, who is on whose side. She's more than confused even though it all makes sense somehow and –

The moonlight on her skin feels like she's died and gone to nirvana. A surge of power washes through her body and Katara closes her eyes, tiling her face up to the moon to soak in as much as possible. Her palms are no longer itching – her heart now longer pounding – she can breathe and she isn't burning and she feels  _alive_.

The fighting in the ship doesn't concern her as she is entranced by the moon and the power. She feels like she's one at last, she's a whole person, and everything is perfect and right and it doesn't matter anymore what is going on in the ship.

She's powerful again. She's a  _real_  waterbender once more.

Senses heightened, Katara hears the heartbeats of the dozens of firebenders in the ship behind her before they start to pour onto the deck. Katara turns away from the moon, stepping back closer to the edge of the ship furthest from the door to give herself plenty of room.

Zuko is first – and his eyes widen when he sees that she's in the moon. She's sure that there's a huge grin on her face and that's affirmed when he starts to look…  _afraid_.

"Help me fight Zhao," he hisses, stepping closer to her slowly. Katara doesn't move back. She's the powerful one now. He's begging  _her_  for help after imprisoning her and that feels almost as good as the moon on her skin. "Help me fight Zhao and I'll let you free."

She can't help it – she laughs. She laughs until more firebenders pour onto the deck and they all pause to watch her laugh in their Prince's face.

"You'll  _let me free_?" She taunts. Her arms curl up at her sides and before anyone can stop her, the ship is surrounded on all sides by towering waves of water. Zuko takes a step back but he doesn't look away from her eyes. "What makes you think you can stop me if I go now? I hope you can swim, firebender."

"Katara!" She hears Lee cry out and  _that_  makes her pause. It's just enough time for Zuko to attack her with a firewhip and she drops the waves – the boat rises considerably, knocking a few soldiers off balance – so that she can take a large stream from the ocean and block it.

Katara wraps the ocean water around her waist, dropping into a fighting stance and watches Zuko watch her.

"I can drown this whole ship right now. There's nothing you can do to stop me." Katara smiles again.

"No – Katara you don't have to do that," Lee is pushing through groups of men to get closer to her and he steps in between Zuko and her. "Please – Please don't do that. There are good men on board – it's Zhao. Zhao is the one you should be fighting. He's coming – Katara, he's coming and he's going to kill you –"

A wave of fire divides the crowd and Lee and Zuko barely have enough time to throw themselves out of the way. Katara easily makes her own wall of water from the ocean. Through the water, she can see that there are several charred bodies that were in the path and behind them, there's Zhao.

More firebenders come up from behind him.

A battle breaks.

Zhao is propelling fire dart after fire dart, each getting progressively stronger and she wonders  _how_ he's still strong after being out of the sun for so long. Katara's wall of water absorbs the fire easily and he's getting agitated, coming closer and closer to where she stands at the bow.

Two firebenders get to Lee and Zuko and they're fighting. Everyone's fighting - those who are loyal to Zhao clearly outnumbering those who are on Zuko's side - and now is her perfect time to dive into the water but she  _can't_. Zhao is finally close enough to kill and she feels so  _powerful_  with the moon at her back that she can't bear to turn away.

After being so powerless for so long, feeling it surge in abundance through her veins is the best feeling in the world and she's not going to waste it.

She twists her wrists and arms. The wave that has blocked the attacks crashes on the deck of the ship. Firebenders are downed everywhere and she quickly freezes them in place before she takes the water that's around her waist to shoot at Zhao.

He's desperately pulling at his legs to get free from the ice that is trapping him but he can't. He is forced to block her attack and then he's firing a flaming bullet back at her. Katara gets more water, catches the bullet, then twists and circles before shooting it all back towards him.

When he deflects her attack, Katara moves the ice that surrounds his ankles up to cover his legs. She hardens it, making sure that he won't be able to burn himself out of it but she has to stop just as he sends another fire ball her way.

Katara blocks it with a shield of water and before she can blink, she's attacked by more fireballs and missiles. Looking up, she sees that  _most_  of the firebenders are attacking  _her_  now.

 _Idiots_  – she might have left them alone if they hadn't –

A ball breaks through her water and grazes her cheek. Katara recoils at the heat and her eyes open just in time to see Zhao and a few others break out of the ice. She turns her water shield into dozens of tiny ice missiles and she hurls them forward indiscriminately. If they're going to attack  _her_ , she  _will_  attack them.

Zhao's second wall of fire crashes against hers. Katara takes a step back to ground herself better and she pushes it back. They're both sustaining their walls – she's gritting her teeth and he's furrowing his brow and she isn't nearly strong enough just yet to keep it up for much longer.

A dozen fire whips are heading for Zhao and he has no choice but to let his wall break to her water in an attempt to deflect them. Katara lets her wave crash down on that half of the deck and Zhao falls under the pressure – sliding back along the deck and into a few of his soldiers bodies. He sits up, drenched and steam coming off his body and he looks  _furious_.

Katara forms a blade of ice from the remaining water on the deck and flicks her wrist, her arms push forward and the ice is buried in Zhao's chest.

His mouth gapes open.

She pushes more and more blades through his skin. Two, then three are stuck in his chest and stomach before she stops.

The soldiers that are Zhao's allies send fire attacks her way, some stepping to shield Zhao's body. Katara brings water from the ocean and lets it tower in front of her to absorb the attacks so that she can –

"No, Katara," Lee pleads. Katara's eyes flicker down and he's in front of her. Zuko is racing towards her, arm outstretched and she tenses, thinking that he's going to attack her. When she raises her own hand to stop him, Lee grabs onto her wrist and she snaps her head to glare at him. "Don't do this. Don't kill them."

Katara's eyes soften despite her resolve. Lee, he's helped her so much these past few days with the water and she can't… she can't just leave the soldiers here! They'll come after her, after the Avatar and she'll just have to fight them all again before they can kill anyone else.

But… Lee is begging her to let them live.

"They're only soldiers. They're just following orders.  _Don't_ , please."

A fire missile pierces through the shield and she doesn't have enough time to stop it – but  _Zuko_ does, and he deflects it easily. Katara's eyes betray her confusion and she steps back.

" _Go_. I'd rather you be out  _there_  than with Zhao. You'll die when the sun comes up if you stay any longer." Zuko says as he deflects another missile. Her shield has been up too long and she hasn't sustained it enough. It's getting weaker.

Despite her new-found power, it's still the weak period before the full moon. She glances down at her palms, itching to feel the surge of water rushing through her and she closes her eyes.

Katara is so confused and none of this is helping and she just  _can't_. Zuko is defending her and Lee is begging her. It's all too much. Her head swims and she can't  _breathe._ She should kill these soldiers but –

_They're only soldiers. They're just following orders._

Katara opens her eyes. She tugs her hand out of Lee's and give him a firm look. "Just this time, firebender."

Relief spreads through his face and he nods. He quickly turns to help Zuko, Katara turns to the sea. She puts one foot on the side and then the other. The ocean is calling to her.

She looks back to see Zuko and Lee fending off attacks.

"Go with her, Prince," Lee mutters as he shoots a fireball at one of the soldiers. "If Zhao gets you, you're dead."

Zuko is sending one long fire lash towards a group of soldiers when he gives Lee an incredulous look. Katara freezes where she is on the railing. "I can't leave my men or my uncle. They'll –"

"You know Zhao will never hurt General Iroh! He won't be able to if he even tried. Just  _go_!"

If the Fire Prince goes with her… She can take him to her father and  _they'll_ have a bargaining chip for once… Katara turns to watch the two men fight. The water shield is getting weaker from all of the fire and there's steam everywhere.

"A good Captain –"

" – knows when he's lost, now _go._ " Seeing that the Prince isn't moving other than to shoot fireballs, Lee growls and shoots Katara a look. The waterbender gets a stream from the ocean and curls it around the Prince's waist, pulling him towards her.

" _Stop!"_ He tries to obliterate the water with his fire but Katara has an endless supply of water and a reason to take him with her. "Lee!"

" _Go!"_

Her last image is a fire whip catching Lee's tunic on fire when she rocks forward and dives into the ocean, letting the water rise up to suck her and Zuko in.

-/-


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Recap: Zhao is out of his prison and Katara finally made it into the moon. With her renewed strength and bending energy, she fought back against the firebenders with Lee's and Zuko's help. She managed to down Zhao but was soon becoming overwhelmed and weakened by the other benders. Zuko urged her to jump off the ship, Lee agreeing before telling Katara to take the Prince with her. Realizing his importance, Katara manages to drag Zuko off the ship and into the water.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 1 has been updated with a small AU background summary. Reading that is highly recommended because it does give some insight onto the state of the AU world. I probably SHOULD have put that at the very beginning anyway. It might make some things become clearer and will definitely give you an idea of how the Avatar world looks right now.

Katara groans, shifting on the sand that's embedding itself uncomfortably into her skin and scratching at her face so that she can put her elbows and hands up underneath her. She tries to pick herself up but fails, falling back down on the sand with a whimper as her eyes close against the unwelcome light.

Beside her, she can feel the heartbeat - barely - of the firebender Prince. Her arms feel like liquid in a very bad way and she feels like she's so tired she could sleep for weeks. Maybe bringing him along was a bad idea. Not only was she too tired to fight him off if he tried to attack her now, but he also had fought against her every single step of the way when she practically kidnapped him off the ship.

So much of her energy had been used to make the two of them a perfect, air-filled bubble so that they could make it away from the ship safely without having to exhaust themselves by swimming. But that seemed to only help Zuko in the end.

She should have just made him swim. See how much of a match his fire was against the ocean.

He's quiet though. Katara almost thinks that he's asleep but his heart is beating too strongly for that. Even in her weakened state, she can tell that he's awake and probably thinking about his crew - Lee - back on that ship with Zhao and the traitors.

Katara may hate the Fire Nation - she may even hate Zuko because he's the damned Prince - but even she knows that what happened was cruel. Sure, Zuko was her enemy and all but he wasn't a vindictive man like Zhao was. He wasn't evil. How the majority of Zuko's men could turn against him like that was insane.

There was also Iroh. She was more concerned about Lee, he being one of the first and only Fire Nation-ers to actually show her some compassion. The image of his clothes catching on fire has haunted her ever since she saw it. She hopes that he's okay, wherever he is though that fate is doubtful.

But Iroh. Zuko is probably more worried about his uncle than his crew or his ship. Katara doesn't know much about the uncle-nephew dynamic the two have, but she assumes that they're somewhat close.

She feels like she should console him somehow. However, that would require her having to open her eyes and move and she doesn't feel like doing that at the moment. Besides, he's still a firebender and the enemy. Consoling the enemy is  _not_  something that she should be doing at the moment.

There are other things to worry about. Like getting back her energy now that the three weak days are upon her. Or figuring out where in the world they are. Or trying to work out how she's going to get the Prince to go with her to her father without him figuring it out.

She can't exactly take him prisoner just yet. She's about to be weak and he's stronger than her right now anyway. Trying to get him now will be offering him an invitation to kill her right on the spot. It's daytime, and firebenders are at their strongest then like she's at in night when the moon is out.

She'll have to wait. Hopefully, fate won't speed up like it had over the past couple of days. She's starting to get a little dizzy thinking about what all has happened.

"You should have left me there." The Prince grumbles. Katara turns her head to face him and opens her eyes. He's staring up at the sky, the sun making him look yellow and gold and his black sleep tunic is burned in places.

They'll need new clothes. The ones they're wearing now will attract too much attention if they decide to go through villages. She can tell that her tunic is probably is in a far worse state than his. The sand is scraping her skin in delicate places.

"Lee was right," she breathes out. "Zhao would have killed you the moment that shield gave out."

Zuko quiets.

She pushes to the side and rolls over onto her back, staring up at the sky and she's still trying to catch her breath. "Besides, after what I saw happening on that ship, did you really think that you would have been able to beat him? Most of your crew was fighting  _you_."

"A Captain stays with his ship. Always."

"You didn't let Zhao stay with his. So he took yours."

"My point exactly." Zuko shifts but groans. Is he hurt? "There were still some men loyal to me. What do you think is going to happen to them? To Lee? They're all in trouble and they don't have the good position that my uncle has."

Lee. Yes, he probably will be in a tough position. But she can't think about him. She needs to focus on what she  _can_  change. Lee had the opportunity to go with them - she would have taken him, probably - but he chose to stay behind.

Still. Knowing that his fate was more than likely not... _good_  makes her close her eyes and take in a deep breath.  _She can't think about that._

"Lee is a soldier. He understood the risk when he chose to stay by your side instead of Zhao's." Katara says matter-of-factly.

When she looks over at Zuko she can see his hands ball up into tight fists. The tendons of his knuckles protrude. "What I did wasn't honorable."

"Well, console yourself with the knowledge that you didn't have a choice in the matter." Katara manages to sit up now even though her arms and legs still shake from exertion. "I can live with being the dishonorable one if it means that I'm alive."

He just glares at her. Katara smiles but there's no warmth, only annoyance.  _Honor_  - who can think of something like that when they're alive on a beach instead of on fire in the bottom of some ship in a cell?  _Ungrateful_.

She could understand the guilt over leaving his fellow soldiers. That, she can take. But that stupid honor thing is bugging her for some reason and she hopes that he doesn't start talking about it again.  _Honor_. Doesn't he know there is no honor in war?

Katara gives him a sideway glance. "Your uncle... Iroh. What - What happened to him?"

His jaw works. "When you left the room, Zhao tried to go after him. My uncle and Lee held him back while I ran after you. I-I'm not sure what happened after that. He's probably in one of the cells now. He wasn't on the deck."

The waterbender doesn't know how to reply to that.

The ocean isn't too far away and so she slides across the sand so that she can stick her legs in the waves. The tides wash over her and she slips further down, not caring that her clothes are getting soaked. She can bend that out later even if the salt will stay behind.

They need new clothes anyway. Might as well ruin these a bit more.

Water covers her legs and then glides up to her waist. It feels good,  _better_  than good and she absorbs it in as much as possible. It's no match for how the moon energizes her, but it's helping her more than lying on the sand under the hot sun.

"So what are your plans now?" She turns to look over her shoulder to see that Zuko is sitting up. Katara shrugs, then turns to look back at the ocean.

"Figured you would come up with something, Prince. Aren't I still your prisoner or something?"

He pauses. "I… I'm not sure…"

Her slipper-covered feet dig into the sand and she wants to take her shoes off but that means she has to take her legs out of the cool water. "Well you better be figuring that out. Or else we'll be on this beach for a while."

"You mean you jumped off the ship without any sort of  _plan_?"

"Not really the planning type." That was always Sokka. Her brother would have a plan.  _That_  makes her shoulders slump and she stops trying to dig her slippers into the sand. "I just kind of go with the flow."

"Is that a waterbending joke?"

"Might be if you make it one. Don't hear you laughing though so it must not have been that funny."  _Sokka_  was the one who told all of the jokes.

Katara sighs and stretches out her legs. Her head falls back when she takes in a deep breath. What she wouldn't give for a bath right now. What she wouldn't give to see her brother.

She needs...something to distract her. She can't start thinking about family now. It'll just be depressing.

Her legs are steadier underneath her when she stands ankle-deep in the water. She slips out of the shoes and the leggings, her hands tucking up underneath the tunic when Zuko's face turns bright red and he looks away.

" _What are you doing?_ " He asks the rock beside him.

"I'm taking a swim, what does it look like I'm doing?" She throws the tunic somewhere on the beach and smirks at his discomfort.

Her bindings stay on when she walks deeper into the water. She gets waist-deep before she finally dives in and starts to swim.

When she comes up for air, she takes out her braid and starts brushing through the matted knots, bobbing up and down with everything concealed because the water is about shoulder-deep. The Prince is too far away for her to see the expression on his face.

She starts scanning the forest and beach instead. From what she can see, there are no little camps near their immediate area but there are curls of smoke coming from somewhere in the forest. It's the closest thing that she can see that gives some evidence of life. They'll need to head that way if they want to find other people so they can start piecing together where they are and what they need to do.

Shaking out her hair now that it's all loose and untangled, she lies back and starts to float on the water, closing her eyes and soaking it all in.

She stays in the water until the sun get a little higher in the sky. Swimming back to the shore, she sees that Zuko hasn't moved much since she got in the water. If he had any sense, he would have taken the opportunity to flee.

Seems that the Prince doesn't know how to take advantage of a good escape opportunity. That's good for her, bad for him.  _Idiot_.

He doesn't look away when she climbs out and sits on the sand beside him. She leans back on her palms. Even though she could bend the water off of her skin to get dried faster, she lets the sun do it for her instead.

"How did the etching stay on your skin with your healing powers?" Zuko asks, nodding his head to her hip. Katara looks down reflexively.

"Waterbenders get it when they first discover their abilities. The full powers haven't really kicked in then so my body didn't keep healing it."

"How old were you?"

"Six, maybe seven? I'm not for sure. It's been a while and it was pretty painful." A few moments of awkward silence settles. Katara looks past the firebender to the forest. "Do, uh, do firebenders have anything like it?"

Zuko shakes his head. "No."

"Shame. I think they look really cool even if it hurts. It's a mark of pride in my culture."

"I think it's barbaric."

Katara narrows her eyes. "Well then don't look at it if it offends you,  _Prince_."

He looks like he's going to say something else but he just looks away. Katara keeps her glare as he works his jaw and then she stands. Her tunic is in a stiff heap but she bends what water is still in her hair onto the fabric to wash over it a little.

She gets dressed quickly in the leggings and shoes, then puts her hands on her hips and waits for Zuko to look at her. "I wasn't really serious when I said that we should stay on the beach until we figure everything out. We should go find a village or something and then figure out what we're going to do."

"And  _why_  should I take orders from you?" Zuko stares up at her.

"Seriously?" Katara puts her hands on her hips. "Fine - if you're having such a big problem with me just deciding to go to the village then  _you_  tell me what we should do."

He stands. There is sand all over his tunic but  _he_  can figure that out for himself. "Well, I think we should…"

"What? We should do _what_ , Prince?"

"We should… oh  _damnnit_ , let's just get to the village. I can't  _think_  in this sun."

Katara quirks an eyebrow at him. "You can't think in the sun? You're a firebender. Just accept the fact that I was right and you're an idiot for not just going along with what I said in the first place."

"Are you  _always_  like this?" Zuko snarls.

"Only to people like  _you_." Katara turns on her heel and starts marching away. She gets a yard or two away before he starts following her. She hears him huff, pouting behind her. Resisting the urge to roll her eyes are start attacking him, Katara balls her hands into fists and stares straight ahead.

They're in the forest when he finally talks to her.

"Do you even know where we're going?"

"Do I look like I know where I'm going?  _Why_  should  _I_ have to know? You're the Prince of the Fire Nation, surely you know something about this damned…  _place_!" Katara throws him a glare over her shoulder. He's catching up easily and soon they're walking side by side through the trees.

"Well you were the one who marched away first. I assumed that you had at least some idea of where we are."

"We're somewhere on the south side of the Earth Kingdom. We were what, three, maybe four weeks from the Fire Nation when Zhao took over?"

Zuko looks down at her. "No. More like  _a_  week. But I don't know how far you got us off course through so it's not like I have a clear idea of where we are."

"Oh please, I couldn't have gotten us  _that_  far off." She rolls her eyes. A week? She was  _way_  off with her guessing. Maybe she couldn't read the tides as well as she thought...

"We should stay on the beach until we get some idea of where we are."

"And get stuck there when night comes? I'd rather sleep in a tree than on the beach."

" _Sleep_? In the  _forest_?"

"If we can't find some place to stay then that's our only possibility! Unless  _you_  want to sleep on the forest floor and risk the chance of getting attacked by some wildlife. Actually, nevermind. You can stay on the floor. It's actually a good idea."

Zuko glares at her.

"Come on, we can't be that far away from a village. You didn't see the smoke? There's at least a camp a few miles away from here," Katara points North in a general direction to show where she saw it.

"Great idea. Let's go find the people that the smoke belongs to and see if they'll let us join them. Especially considering that we're strangers and we have no idea who are what they are - they can be  _murderers_ for crying out loud!"

Katara rounds on him and pokes him in the chest, stopping him in his tracks.

"And  _what exactly_ are you so afraid of? We're both master benders and we're stuck in the middle of this forest with no clue about anything! So  _of course_  we're going to have to find the only semblance of civilization around and if they ask for trouble then we'll have no choice. Now stop whining and follow along or I'll leave you out here  _alone_. Let's see how long you last  _then_ , Prince."

His eyes narrow but he doesn't say anything. With a pleased  _humph_ , Katara turns away and starts marching away again. Once more, Zuko lets her get a little far before he starts following her again.

"Just saying that perhaps we should be a little cautious." He mumbles under his breath when he's caught up by her side again.

If she had known that they were going to be at each other's throats the entire time she would have left him on that damned ship. But instead of saying this out loud, she sighs and says something not nearly as confrontational.

"You can be the cautious one for right now. I just want to eat something and find out where we are."

"You're rather reckless, aren't you?"

" _I'm_  the reckless one?" Funny, she had thought the same about him. She wasn't the one who had given a waterbender a knife and access to water. He hadn't cuffed her after the first day on his ship and his uncle had invited her for  _tea_  for Spirits' sake.

"You're just going to march into...whatever it is that we're marching into with no plan whatsoever?"

"Yes. What's wrong with that?" She stumbles - her legs still shaking from bending the night before - but she catches herself and tries to smooth it over.

"Don't you think that we should  _watch_ them for a little bit first? To see if they're benders or where they're from; if it's a village or just a campsite? Maybe they're firebenders and you're walking into a trap." She can tell that he let that last part slip out accidentally because he instantly clamps his mouth shut.

That  _does_  sound like a good idea… She would have thought about that later, she was sure. She just hadn't told  _him_  that. Katara sighs.

"You don't think I planned on doing that?" She sort of lies.

He glares at her again. It's starting to become a permanent thing. "Maybe we should just  _not_  speak to each other from now on unless it's absolutely necessary, waterbender."

"That's the best idea you've ever had, Prince."

-/-

The smoke is coming from a campsite. And no, they're  _not_  firebenders. Instead, the four or five men and women - there's a tent and she isn't sure if someone is in it or not - are clearly nonbending nomads.

Every time she moves to step towards their little campsite, Zuko reaches out and holds her back. He asks for just a few more minutes of watching before they start asking them questions.

The fourth time, Katara yanks her arm away from his hand and gives him a hard glare. " _Are you serious?_ " She hisses. " _We just need to ask for directions. I'd like to do that before it gets dark."_

Zuko eyes the group warily.  _"Just a few more minutes."_

" _No. Now."_  Katara stands up and quickly jumps out from behind a bush, stepping forward and ignoring Zuko hissing for her - referring to her as  _waterbender_  and he really needs to find something else to call her or else she's going to rip his throat out - and walks for the camp. He can follow behind if he wants to, but  _she_  isn't too keen on sleeping in a tree.

She soothes down the front of her tunic and tosses her hair over one shoulder. Luckily she had a ocean-bath or else there's no telling how much dirt and grime she would have on her. Though knowing that these nomads are probably Earth people, it might not have hurt her.

A woman sees her first, and Katara slows her pace and gives the woman a small smile as she comes nearer to her. She doesn't look over her shoulder to see if Zuko has followed her because it might look suspicious.

"Excuse me? Hello - hi - I have lost my way and was heading towards a village around here. I can't quite remember the name but I was hoping that you would give me some directions…?" She trails off awkwardly, looking around at their faces to gauge some reaction.

"There's a small village that way," the woman who first saw her raises her hand and points west. "It's the nearest one. Not sure if that's the one you're looking for but they're nice people. Nice enough, that is."

"Thank you so much! I hope you all have a safe journey to… wherever it is that you're going." She smiles brightly. She couldn't wait to rub it into Zuko - she  _told_  him that this was going to be easy. They could have started walking fifteen minutes ago!

Katara bows her head to show her appreciation and begins to back away. When she turns, she bumps straight into the chest of a man that she hadn't seen earlier. Blank brown eyes stare down at her and she mutters an apology before stepping to the side.

The man grabs her arm.

Katara stops. All of their hearts are beating calmly except for hers.

"Excuse me," she says and pulls at her arm. "I must be going now." She tugs at it again.

The man doesn't let go.

"Dearie, why don't you stay a little longer?" The woman says behind her. Katara quirks an eyebrow. What were they playing at?

"I have family in the village. They're probably worried that I haven't made it there yet. I really shouldn't stay longer but thank you." Her voice is starting to get a little colder. He  _still_  hasn't let go and if he holds on for much longer she may very well form a water sphere around his head.

The man tugs her back to the small encampment. Katara follows but turns around so that she can see the others. Surely they have water somewhere so she won't have to bend it out of the plants.

"I'm sure they won't miss you." The woman smiles but it doesn't exactly make Katara feel any better. "For a few more minutes, of course," she adds.

"I don't have any belongings for you to steal." Katara lifts her chin, determined to show them that no matter what they do, it's not going to be easy. Maybe getting directions from them isn't going to be as easy as she thought it would be.

The woman frowns. Can any of the other men and women speak? "Well that's too bad. But we're not really interested in your belongings."

"She's Water Tribe." The man behind her says. He twirls a lock of her hair around his finger, tugging on it a bit as if to test the strength. "We'll get a good price. I didn't think the Fire Nation left any behind."

Katara realizes that the reason the others are not speaking is because they're too busy studying the ground. Their hands are in their laps, and when she focuses she sees that there are ropes wrapped around their wrists, tying them together.

 _Slavers_. Her lips curl into a snarl.

"She a bender? Water Tribes normally etch their young at the waist if they show signs of bending." The woman sounds pleased. The man behind her roughly turns her around and starts tugging at the bottom of her tunic.

Katara pulls the water out of a group of weeds. Ignoring the energy pull that it takes, she answers that question for them by quickly forming the best waterwhip possible with her limited mobility. Sending it straight into the side of the man's head, she twists the opposite way.

He's startled, quickly dropping her hand as the whip sends him tumbling away from her. It was a weak attempt but she's free. Katara sucks the water back towards her body and sends it hurling towards the woman where it wraps around her waist and sends her straight into the ground.

The woman's heartbeat flashes furiously for a moment before it dies down and Katara suspects that her head hit a rock because there wasn't a whole lot of force use din that push. The man's though is still beating strongly, so she doesn't even give the woman a second glance when she takes the water back.

Building some momentum by twirling it around her hips, she flicks her wrists and shoots the water spear into the man's chest, pushing him back a few steps until he's up against a tree. Katara draws the water up so that it's covering his face and holds it there.

Fifty seconds pass. The man's heart slows and he passes out. Katara takes the water back and circles it around her waist so that she can turn her attention to the others.

Her arms shake when she puts them back down at her side. She's sweating - more tired than before. The moon yesterday hadn't been enough and she used most of the energy she gained on Zhao. Katara tries to keep her head up as she looks at those sitting on the ground.

They stare at her, slack-jawed and a little frightened. Huddling together, Katara puts her hand up and tries to look as harmless as possible as she takes a step towards them.

"I'm not going to hurt you," she says soothingly. "I want to set you free. Will you let me cut your binds?"

"Wait - don't do that yet." Katara huffs in annoyance when Zuko's voice comes from behind her. She looks over her shoulder to glower at him as he swipes at bushes and branches to get closer to her. "We need to figure out where we are and they can tell us."

"Which is  _why_  we should set them  _free_." She replies pointedly.

"And give them a chance to get away?" He's finally beside her, a little winded with reddened cheeks.

"They're not our prisoners. They're  _people_  and they don't deserve to be bound up. Those two were slavers." She points to the two that are passed out. Zuko eyes the bodies and then gives her a questioning look. "No, they're not dead. Just sleeping for a bit."

"I think you should take my advice on this one. Especially since your last little plan sort of backfired."

Katara scowls. "I handled it very well, I think. A minor inconvenience is all."

"I'd rather not have any more  _inconveniences_. We should ask them, then let them go."

"I thought we decided to not talk to each other unless it was absolutely crucial? Can we go back to doing that?"

"The nearest village is where they said. West from here. I-I can lead you there, if you want a guide. But you have to set us free." One of the young men says. "A-And you have to promise not to hurt us. I'm an earthbender."

"Like that's going to help you at all?" Zuko asks incredulously. Katara elbows him in the stomach, Zuko breathes in sharply and she gives him a deadly glare.

Katara takes a bit of water from around her waist and slices through the rope bindings.

"If you don't mind, we would really like a guide," she tries to smile reassuringly at him. "Well, I do at least. He's just following along. Please, don't mind his rudeness."

The three others have already started running away from them without even a thanks. She tries to not let it bother her but she can't help but frown. The man who spoke, however, stays and steps forward towards them while he rubs at his wrists.

"Are you hurt?" She asks.

He shakes his head. "Nothing that I can't handle." Breaking into a broad smile, he takes something from a supply pile and tosses it to Katara. It's a water jug. "Just in case there are no plants around. I'm Haru, by the way. Thank you for, you know, rescuing us and all."

Haru blushes, as if a little sheepish and Katara can't help but smile. He looks around her age; dark skin, tall with eyes the color of spring grass. His hair is longer than what she's used to on men but he has it tied back away from his face with a green band to keep the looser pieces from falling into his face.

Katara bends the water that's around her waist into the jug. "Thanks. My name is Katara, by the way. This is…" She looks at Zuko. Did he want to give his real name? Did these people know Fire Nation names? Would they recognize him?

"Han. My name is Han." He lies flatly. Katara raises her eyebrows, impressed.  _That_  was a quick reaction.

She looks back to Haru. "And really, that's not really a problem. I couldn't have just…let something like that happen."

"You'd be the first." His facial expression turns a bit odd. Katara frowns - what did he mean by that? "Well, if you want to make it to the village by nightfall, we should probably get going."

He starts leading the way and Katara leans over to Zuko and whispers, " _Han?_ "

" _It's a common name in the colonies._ "

Katara is rather impressed. She's rarely ever able to lie well, and even then she can't do it great on the spot. Zuko was able to do it just like  _that_ , like it was nothing .

A part of her says that knowing that should make her extra cautious around him. Katara straightens back up and tries to keep pace with Haru, who clearly has had more experience walking through the forest.

The weakness from bending is taking it's toll on her. She trips far too many times and her legs quiver like she's a newborn koala goat.

When she slips and lands flat on her behind, she doesn't miss the way the Prince smiles down at her like he's enjoying her weakness.

She wonders why he hasn't firebended her yet.

-/-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your support!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recap: Katara and Zuko landed on an Earth Kingdom beach. Not wasting any time, Katara started towards where she believed was a village, stumbling upon a group of traveling slavers. After freeing the captives, she found a guide in Haru, an earthbender who promised to lead them to a nearby village for food, supplies and a place to sleep. Zuko proves to be a skilled liar while Katara shows that she can be a tad reckless.

Zuko has already proven to be less-than-enjoyable company, so Katara turns her attentions instead to Haru. She quickly abandons the broody, now-silent firebender in favor of the new earthbender. After all, they  _had_  agreed not to speak to one another unless it was absolutely necessary.

And right now, it was not absolutely necessary.

So, she quickly speeds up and begins chatting with Haru. Zuko is left behind and she could  _feel_  his broodiness behind her. It is pitiful, really. She tries to give him the benefit of the doubt considering he  _has_  just lost his ship, his crew and what he thought was his honor. But dammit, she has been through the same exact thing but instead of walking through a forest, she has been burned over and over again.

He can just set himself on fire if he thinks she is going to give  _him_  any sympathy.

"Where did you learn to waterbend like that?" Haru asks curiously. "I mean, I haven't met any other waterbenders before so I'm not sure about...all the things but I didn't hear of anyone able to take it from  _plants_."

"I have only met two others who could do it. Both trained me but only one would show me how to take it from plants. Hama - she taught me a lot of things, actually." Katara trails off, not sure if she wants to go into the whole bloodbending thing.

A glance at the earthbender shows that he's a little horrified at the whole plant-thing. Yeah, maybe she should keep quiet about the bloodbending. She can only imagine how he would react to  _that_.

The water jug taps against her leg with each step. She's glad that that she has another skin to save the water in. Her other one was lost when they were fighting Zhao, right before she was taken as a prisoner on his ship.

"It's...strange. A little cool, but strange. I don't mean to offend -"

" _Please_ ," Katara waves her hand, "don't worry about that. I'd rather you go ahead and say what you're thinking." Pausing, she turns over her shoulder to add, "I don't mean that you can do the same."

Zuko's snort proves that he's been eavesdropping on their conversation.

"How did you two come across each other, anyway? You don't seem to like each other… And Han, you look like you're from the Fire Nation."

"Fire colonies," Zuko corrects with an easy lie. "Half and half. I favor my mother more than my father."

Haru seems pleased enough with that answer and Katara guesses that Zuko is leaving it up to her to answer the other half.

"I…" she clears her throat, "I was traveling through the colonies and met Han here. We were - We were heading towards the same Earth Kingdom town and d-decided to just travel together. You know, safety in numbers and all." A weak chuckle.

The earthbender does  _not_  look satisfied with her answer but he doesn't press the point. When he looks back at the forest, the firebender behind her jabs her in the back with his elbow. Katara turns to scowl at him and he rolls his eyes at her.

The two of them are definitely going to have to come up with some sort of story as to why they were traveling together. One that she could practice a bit before she repeats it to anyone.

She tries to change the subject. "So how come you didn't try to bend yourself out of the slaver's camp? Surely you could have fought back with bending and all."

"Well, I  _could_  have if I knew how to control by bending." He blushes again and rubs the back of his neck. "Bending… isn't exactly good here. Everyone who can is taken away and never seen or heard from again. The Fire Nation forbids it so it's better to just... _not_  do it."

"Wow. I can't imagine  _not_  bending." Katara shakes her head. Bending...it makes up so much of her identity that she doesn't even want to think about how her life would be without it. She looks at Haru sadly, more than a bit of pity in her eyes and he frowns.

"It's...fine. I'm not going to lie and say it's great but I'd rather hide it than be taken away. There are worse things than not being able to bend."

She looks away. "Yeah. I guess there are." Though she can't really imagine anything right now. "Do you know where they take the benders?"

"No one knows. Just that they go away." Haru shrugs.

"They did that to the Southern benders, too," she says quietly. Flashbacks of a tanned, outstretched hand and a betrothal necklace flash in her mind and she closes her eyes.  _Mom._

Crossing her arms over her chest, Katara risks a glance behind her to see Zuko looking down at the ground. Whether he's thinking about what Haru is saying or trying not to trip is a mystery; but she hopes that he's pondering the earthbender's account.

"Are there any benders in your village besides you? People that can probably teach you in secret?" Katara asks. If there were no masters - or even any novices - then Haru would never be able to learn how to control his ability. Just because he doesn't want to use it doesn't mean that he shouldn't know how just in case anything goes wrong.

Unintentionally, she thinks about the last raid on her village. The one where she finally cracked and started waterbending even though there were not supposed to be any there. With Sokka's and a few other warrior's help, they had been able to fight off the tiny raiding party. Her bending had been wild, untrained and weak in comparison to the firebenders.

But they fought. Fought until they all couldn't stand up any longer.

When her father had taken her to the Northern Tribe to have her trained, Pakku - the master instructor - had been impressed. Not only was it the fact that she was a girl, but she caught on rather quickly. She had lost count of how many times the old Master would mumble something under his breath and get that thoughtful look in his eye.

Katara always got the feeling that he  _knew_  something. Something that he wasn't telling anyone. And that bothered her.

Frowning, she tries to focus on the now instead of the then.

Just because it's illegal doesn't mean that Haru shouldn't be able to use it. There's no telling when the ability will come in handy and it might save his - and other's - lives. The slavers wouldn't have been able to take him in the first place and he could have set the others free before Katara had stumbled upon them by chance.

"Most of the benders have already been taken over the past couple of years. There are a few but they all have families and they won't risk it. The benders are not the only ones who get punished."

Haru glances at Katara and slides a hand on her shoulder. "I know what you're thinking. Yeah, it'd be great to know how to control it and all but really, it's for the best. I don't want to risk my family's and my village's lives just so I can know how to throw a couple of rocks around."

"It's not just that though. It's… Bending is a part of who you are. You shouldn't have to hide that."

"Have to. Otherwise, I'd probably be dead and I  _like_  living. Not all of us are lucky enough to be able to have the chance to defy our oppressors."

"It's still  _wrong_."

Haru chuckles. "Isn't everything?"

Katara has to uncross her arms to lean against a tree trunk to get over a rather large log. The slippers don't grip the wood very well and she slips. Haru quickly reaches out to grab her arm so that she doesn't tumble back into Zuko. She thanks him with a smile and jumps down from the fallen tree.

Her legs are almost giving out underneath her. She either needs the moon or a pallet. Preferably both.

"You'll need to get some boots if you want to keep traveling through the Earth Kingdom." Haru points out.

"We'll journey by road." Zuko says stiffly behind them as he jumps down from the same trunk.

"Bad idea." The earthbender shakes his head. "The roads are pretty much covered with Fire Nation soldiers and guerrilla fighters like to stir up trouble. The woods are a lot safer in comparison."

Like that is going to make Zuko want to go through the forest instead. He'll probably try to force her to the roads now. Katara huffs - getting him to follow her isn't going to be easy now that he knows there are soldiers nearby.

Haru may have just been trying to help but he just made her job a whole lot more difficult. Can she make Zuko stay in the village until the full moon comes? Then she can bloodbend him to follow after her into the forest rather than the roads…

That may be her best option at this point. And if they stay in the village for the next two days, they can try to earn some coin by doing odd jobs. Well,  _she_  can try to earn something. She highly doubts the Prince will want to do anything to help out any.

"The guerrilla fighters - are they benders or nonbenders?" Katara manages to get over the next fallen tree without any assistance.

"Nonbenders, I think. But they cause just as much trouble as a bender can. They're small, independent mostly. I considered joining one myself once when I was younger but… I have to help take care of my family."

Katara makes it a point to look straight at Zuko. "It's good that there's some that are willing to fight back for those that can't. Not everyone is cut out to be a soldier, you know?"

"I guess." Haru makes a face though and Katara hopes that she didn't offend him. "Maybe someday I'll be able to. My dad says that they're idiots for trying to fight back though. They're risking a lot of lives and not gaining anything except notoriety."

"Maybe they'll be able to make  _some_  impact on the Fire Nation."

"The Fire Nation doesn't deal with terrorists like they're heroes." Zuko grumbles. The waterbender shoots him a glare and he returns it. "The guerrillas are just going to keep angering them until the Fire Nation gets tired of them and wipes them out like the annoyances they are."

"I think it's  _good_  that they're fighting back against oppression. Someone should show the Fire Nation that they're not welcome in other's homelands and that they should go back to their little volcano islands." Katara replies vehemently.

"Right. Like farmers with wooden swords and spears are going to inflict any damage on the strongest army in the world."

"You don't know that!" Katara spits back. "Besides, it's not  _just_  so the Fire Nation knows that not everyone is going to lie down and take it - it shows that they're going to fight back and inspire the people around them to do the same."

"Not if they all get burned. Or thrown into prisons.  _That_  will certainly inspire others."

"You- _You don't know what you're talking about_!"

"Actually, I think I know what I'm talking about better than  _you_."

"Oh really?"

"Really." He deadpans.

Haru stops and looks between the two strangers.

"You don't know what that feels like, do you? To know that somewhere, someone is fighting  _for you_  - that they're risking their lives  _for you_! Those guerrillas are giving people  _hope_  and that's something that the Fire Nation can  _never_  take away."

"You are a  _child_  if you think that."

She has to fight the urge to slap him, drown him and kill him all at once. Settling for a glare that could cut ice, Katara stomps her foot into the dirt and spins, marching away with her nails digging into her skin.

" _Come on, Haru._ I don't want to be stuck in this damned forest with  _him_  any longer than necessary."

Katara is so caught up in getting as much distance as possible between her and Zuko that she almost falls over a log. She doesn't miss Zuko's laugh and the scowl becomes permanent the rest of the trip.

They reach the village just as night falls.

It's small, but Haru leads them to his family's hut on the outer circle of homes and invites them in. His father has gone on a hunting trip for the next few days and he offers them a place to sleep for the night before they decide what they need to do.

Seeing as how it's dark and she doubts they'll get anywhere tonight, Katara agrees. Zuko sulks. She ignores him completely, barely even looking at him because she is worried that she'll try to take his head off of his neck and  _that_  wouldn't be good.

"Thank you for the place to sleep." Katara says when Haru gives her a blanket and pillow.

"It's no problem. Besides, it's the least I can do after you rescued me -  _us_  - from the slavers." He smiles at her and she can't help but to return it. "If you need anything, I'll be through that door."

When he leaves them, Katara collapses on the pallet in the corner of the room. Zuko is nearby on a threadbare couch. She can tell by his heartbeat that he isn't asleep.

The moon is shining through the window and Katara greedily angles herself so that she can absorb it. She would go outside to soak it in but she's so tired that she detests the idea of even moving.

Zuko falls asleep.  _Hard_  from the way his heart slows down. Only then does Katara allow herself to turn over and close her eyes.

-/-

He wakes up first. Being a firebender, he rises with the sun just like she used to do with the moon. Reluctantly, she opens her own eyes and rolls over so that she can see him. His heart is beating so loudly now that it would be impossible to ignore and fall asleep again. Besides, she needs to make sure that he won't try to escape.

"It's dawn." Katara grumbles sleepily. Zuko sharply sits up, startled that she's awake and she resists the urge to laugh at the state of his hair. " _Why_  did you have to be a firebender?"

She finally manages to push herself up and rests her back against the wall, the covers still swamped around her to keep out the morning chill. Her hair is the first thing that she tries to work through. Eyes half-closed, she braids it back as best as she can.

Zuko runs his own fingers through his mess of hair a few times. "Why did you have to be a waterbender?"

"I'd rather be a waterbender than a firebender."

"I guess it's pointless for me to say I feel the opposite?"

She smiles despite the fact that she's still mad at him and quickly tries to cover it with a cough. A few moments of awkward silence later, she tosses the cover away and stands up from the pallet, sliding her feet into the slippers and straightening out the tunic and leggings.

"We should try to get some money and supplies before we head out." She says, folding the blanket up and setting it on top of the pillow.

"And where are we heading  _to_? Maybe we should decide on that before we start wasting time and effort preparing for journey in which the destination is unknown."

Katara bites the inside of her cheek and looks at him. "Well? What do  _you_  think we should do?"

"You're still a prisoner of the Fire Nation."

"So you obviously want to take me to the roads in hope that one of your little soldiers will be there."

"Clearly."

"And obviously,  _I_ don't consider myself a prisoner at all now that we're off the ship so I clearly want to go through the forest in order to avoid those soldiers."

"I can take you by force."

Oh, she'd like to see him try that. The corner of her lips lift in a smirk and she crosses her arms over her chest. "You think you can do that?"

He shrugs. "I'll damned sure try."

"I guess just going our separate ways is out of the question?" But she already knows  _her_  answer to that.

"No."

"Guess we're both just going to have to see who wins then."

He narrows his eyes at her. "Guess so."

The two of them stare at each other for a few more minutes. "I guess you don't just want to go ahead and surrender now."

"And why would I do that?"

"Save yourself some embarrassment. I won't make fun of you  _too_  much if you give up now so we can get started."

"I think I'll take my chances not surrendering."

"Fine."

"Fine." Zuko echoes.

"You know you're pretty difficult, right?"

"And you're not." It's a statement, not a question.

Katara smiles again. This time she doesn't even bother covering it up. "I don't suppose you sleep with gold in your pockets or something." She doesn't have anything on her that they can sell and it's a wild guess on her part but she figured that she might as well ask him before she starts looking around the village.

Zuko pulls the sheet off and stands. He stretches for a bit; Katara turns her head to avoid looking at that tiny sliver of skin that is exposed from where his tunic ripped. Zuko may be the enemy but he's still a  _man_  and she's still a  _woman_.

Last thing she needs is for that sort of stuff to start distracting her.

When he's done, he start patting through the waist of his tunic. A surprised expression crosses his face and he sticks his hand inside a pocket, withdrawing three gold coins.

"Must have been left over from a trip to town." He shrugs his shoulders and puts it back in his pocket.

Katara blinks. "You keep gold coins in your sleeping pants?"

He gives her a look.

"Oh that's just  _gross_." She blushes despite herself and quickly starts heading towards the door. "Come on, let's go see what your dirty gold will get us as far as clothes. We can't exactly keep wearing  _this_."

He follows without arguing for once and she sighs in relief. She figures that Haru will eventually find them in the village so she isn't concerned with leaving so abruptly. Asking him for help in finding a village shoppe crosses her mind but she'd rather not stride into a sleeping man's bedroom randomly.

She had done that with Sokka when they were on the ship and swore that she would  _never_  do that again.

Shivering at the memory, she ignores Zuko's lifted eyebrow at her movement and speeds up. It's clear that people are starting to wake up now because they actually walking through the streets. The village is small but it's not terribly tiny. Nothing like her village in the Tribe and even they had a pelt dealer who could also make clothes.

If worse comes to worse, Katara can sew them some clothes if she gets her hands on some fabric. Mending the ones they have is something that she should do so they can have something else to wear - well, she could mend  _hers_  at least since Zuko's fate is still up in the air - but she knows they need something else to wear in the village. All black in the daytime is too eye-catching and they need to go as unnoticed as possible.

There's a few stalls down one of the streets and Katara is more than thankful to see fabrics. They manage to exchange two gold coins for sewing needles, thread, two dark green tunics, a small knife, a backpack with two sleeping rolls and hiking boots for them both. Katara also bats her eyelashes and gets the man to throw in a few pairs of socks and a large threadbare blanket.

She isn't startled that they are able to get the gold to stretch so far. This part of the area is so poor that she could probably talk the man down a bit. But they don't have change and she feels a tad guilty at getting so much for so little.

The seller seems pleased enough though and he smiles at them when they leave. Katara shoves all of their new belongings into the backpack and Zuko mutters something about the quality of the goods that she decides to ignore because she isn't really in the mood for any more verbal sparring.

When they get back to Haru's home, he's awake and in the kitchen. He actually looks a bit astonished when the two of them walk through the door, the backpack slung over Katara's shoulder.

"I thought that you two had left!" He exclaims excitedly, a huge grin spreading across his face.

Katara looks at where Zuko's cover lays still bunched up on the couch. "And leave behind such a mess? Please, Haru, give us  _some_  credit. We're not completely barbaric as to not clean up after ourselves when you've been such a nice host."

Switching her eyes over to Zuko's, she doesn't miss the slight narrowing of his amber ones before he turns and reluctantly starts shaking out his blanket.

A pleased smirk on her lips, she turns back to Haru and sets the backpack on the small kitchen table.

"I see you visited Lao in the market. Did you get everything you needed for your journey?" Haru asks brightly.

"We did." She nods and lowers into the seat across from him. "All that's left now is to figure out where we need to go."

"I thought you told… the woman that you had family in the village?"

"Oh. Yeah, that might have been a lie." She says sheepishly.

"That makes sense. Do you know what city or village you want to go to? I have a friend who keeps maps of the Earth Kingdom that might be of use if you're unsure of where you're going."

She glances back at Zuko who seems to be having a bit of trouble folding the blanket straightly enough. "Actually, we're a bit unsure of  _where_  we want to go. We're having some...differing opinions as of late that we need to sort through."

Zuko must have given up on folding the blanket because he's plopping down in the chair at the head of the table. Haru can't help but look over at him. Katara does the same. When he notices the two benders staring at him, Zuko gets a little flushed. He tries to cover it up by running his hands through the hair that shags around his face.

It's the first time she's really seen it down. Normally it's styled up in the top-knot or held out of his face. But now it's just...there.

She likes it better this way.

Looking away, she tries to engage Haru in a conversation again. "But I'm sure looking at the map would help us a lot."

"It's rather odd. You two traveling together with no real destination in mind." Haru notes. "I don't mean to sound... _rude_  or anything but…"

"We ran into some difficulties that changed our course." Zuko's voice is flat. He's not  _exactly_ lying now. Just omitting the fact that she wasn't exactly volunteering to go on the course that he wanted to go on. "Now we're just trying to decide what way we want to go."

Haru sighs wistfully. "I've always wanted to sort of leave the village and go out. Even though your situation is somewhat  _odd_  and a bit strange, it sounds more fun than actually setting a destination. All about the journey, you know?"

"No." Zuko says.

"Yes." Katara speaks at the same time.

The firebender and the waterbender exchange a glare that doesn't go unnoticed by the earthbender.

"Definitely strange." He whispers under his breath.

Katara leans back in the seat. She and Zuko are being too suspicious. If they  _do_  continue to travel together - which they  _will_  because she has every intention of bloodbending him once the full moon comes - no one is ever going to believe that they both are going along willingly.

At the same time though, she can't really bring it upon herself to be civil to the man. Teen. Boy.  _Firebender_. And she's sure that he feels the same towards her. He did hold her captive for a few days. A rather pathetic number of days but  _still_.

She can't exactly forget that. That, and the fact that he's the Fire Nation Prince - her enemy until she dies - is also not to be avoided. Haru is already doubting that they're really traveling together. Somehow, they need to be less conspicuous in their quarrels.

They can't attract attention. And they're bickering definitely will. She already feels her palms itching for a fight, and by the way his heart starts beating a bit faster when they talk to one another tells her that he's holding himself back too.

The two of them won't go unnoticed by people if they're constantly restraining the need to kill each other.

Katara pushes away from the table and starts digging through the bag. She pulls out the fresh tunic, socks and hiking boots. "Can I use your bedroom to change? I'd rather get out of these clothes."

"Sure." Haru nods. "Go right ahead."

"Thanks," she smiles as she quickly heads for the door and closes it. The tunic and leggings are off quickly. She has to re-tie the bindings around her chest so that they're holding her up again. Once she's dressed, she pulls on the boots and examines the old tunic.

It isn't completely beyond repair. Luckily, her minimal sewing skills should do the trick. Satisfied and feeling better with the clean clothes, she steps back out to see that the two young men are sitting awkwardly at the table still.

"You're more than welcome to change too, Zu- _Han_." She hopes that Haru didn't notice the slip. Blushing, she reaches into the bag and tosses his fresh tunic and leggings before grabbing the sewing supplies they had bought earlier.

Haru excuses himself to run a few errands and she promises not to burn down the house while he's gone.

Zuko makes no such promises because he's still in the bedroom.

The tunic is mended quickly. The work is a little sloppier than Gran-Gran would like but it looks fine enough for her. She tugs at it a few times to make sure that it will hold. Seeing that it hasn't come apart, she nods with satisfaction and moves to the other around the waist.

Finally, the firebender comes out of the room with his old shirt and pants in his hand. "You sew?" He asks incredulously.

"Clearly," she mumbles in return. Katara winces when she accidentally pricks her finger. "I can, uh, mend yours too if you want." There. That's kind of a peace-offering, right? It's okay enough for enemies.

When she glances up at him, he seems a bit bewildered that she even offered. "Uh, sure. Yeah. If you wouldn't mind…"

"If I minded I wouldn't have offered," she snaps before she can stop herself. Internally, she slaps herself. "Sorry. It's sort of an automatic response now."

He nods, not really offended now that she's apologized. Kind of. "Understood. Um... _thanks_."

It sounds like it actually pains him to say that.

Katara curtly nods in return and motions for him to set the shirt and pants on the table. "Haru went to get some water from the well. He should be back shortly and then I'll make lunch. Figured it's the least I could do since he's being so damned nice."

"I didn't know you could cook."

She lifts her head up to look at him. "Well, considering you only have ever asked me questions about the Avatar, that's understandable."

The firebender reddens a little. "Yeah I guess so."

Katara thinks that she might like it better when they fight. This is just plain awkward. Opting instead for silence, she closes her mouth and focuses on finishing up her tunic before she starts on Zuko's. His is a bit more beat-up than hers so it will probably take a bit longer.

Zuko watches her fingers as she sews and she tries not to show that it unnerves her. She's used to eyes but for some reason, his amber ones make her hands shake a little bit as she works the needle in and out of the fabric. When she finishes hers, she ties off the thread and then set the tunic aside.

"Where did you learn to sew?" Zuko asks. Her hand pauses as she reaches for his shirt, stunned at that he's trying to strike up an amicable conversation, but she recovers and grabs it, settling it in front of her.

"My grandmother. All of the women and most of the men learn how to sew in the Tribe. In the Southern Tribe, at least. I think just women are taught in the North but I'm not sure if that's a standard now with the war and everything."

"You just don't seem like the type that would know how to do...womanly things."

She lifts an eyebrow. "Is that an insult?"

"No. I'm just...surprised is all. Most of the bending women in the Fire Nation don't learn how to do traditional woman work."

"Sewing is not just for women." Katara says, somewhat stung. "It's a good skill to have. Great if you're a healer, especially. It's a pretty universal thing that's come in handy more times than I can count."

It's crazy to know that just yesterday they were bickering to the point of starting a battle right in the middle of the forest and now they're discussing  _sewing_ , of all things.

Zuko seems to decide that he's had enough of a conversation - or that he's run out of things to talk about - because he rises and sulks over to the couch where he collapses. Katara is more than a bit thankful. Not only does she have to try to be  _kind_ , but he's not watching her anymore.

Her hands are steadier as she moves on to the other hole.

-/-

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: Thank you guys for the continued support! School has started and even though it's the first week, I can tell this semester is going to be rough. So every bit of support helps me when I do get the chance to sit down and write. Keep it coming!


	10. Chapter 10

"I don't think that you're understanding where I'm coming from, Haru. Please just let me cook  _something_  in an attempt to pay you back for -"

"No, Katara. Really, I don't want you to cook or anything. You don't exactly  _owe_  me after what you've already done." Haru waves her away.

She frowns. Planting her hands on her hips, she leans in a bit closer to where he stands on the opposite side of the kitchen table. Behind her, Zuko is watching the scene with an amused smirk as the earthbender squirms uncomfortably.

" _No_. Now you listen to me: I'm going to cook lunch and you're going to let me because it's the right thing to do. Understood?"

Silence. The earthbender gulps. "O-Okay."

"Great." She smiles and stands upright again. "Now, what do you want to eat? I'm assuming that you don't have any sea slugs or seal meat."

Zuko gags and Katara throws him a glare over her shoulder. He just has  _no_  idea what he's missing. Give her a good stip of seal meat any day and she'll be fine.

Then she remembers the fruit that was on his ship.

Give her seal meat  _and_ a pomegranate any day and she'll be fine, she amends. Better than fine.

"Um... _no_ …" Haru gives her a strange look. He, too, looks slightly disgusted and she sighs. These men were hopeless. "But we do have some deerantler meat from a hunt a few days ago. It's pretty tender. Do you know how to cook that?"

Katara is the one who waves her hand this time. "Please. It's no big deal. Just go get that and I'll start up the fire."

Haru nods and disappears. On the couch, Zuko snorts. "Deerantler meat? Have you actually ever  _had_  the stuff?"

"No," she replies primly. "Hey - come over here and light this fire for me. Make yourself useful for a change."

The fireball he sends grazes a little too closely by her face. Katara slowly turns and fixes the firebender with a scowl. He shrugs his shoulders but he's unable to hide the smirk that forms on his lips.

Resisting the urge to  _drown_  him, Katara rolls her eyes and shifts the logs around in the fireplace. Haru is back with the meat and he gets the mesh stand that they cook on. After a while, they have a full meal of bread, deerantler and cabbage.

Katara takes a bite and decides she  _hates_  cabbage.

It's filling enough though and they're satisfied when they're finished. Katara cleans the dishes as best she can before setting them to the side so that Haru can put them back where he wants them. She'd rather not mess up what little order there is in the kitchen.

"Did you two come to an agreement about where you're going?" Haru asks after Katara forced him to stop thanking her for cooking.

She glances at Zuko who is also glancing at her. Noncommittally, she shrugs her shoulders.

"Not really. Han here thinks that he can make me go one way even though we both know that's not possible."

"Katara here believes that we should go tromping through the forest with no sense of direction so that we can get lost and eventually die of either exposure or starvation." Zuko adds.

Haru blinks. "Well...would you like to take a look at the map? I already asked my friend about it and since he's going to be out for most of the day, I think it might be a good time for you two to get together and... _try_  to decide what the next step is."

"That sounds like a wonderful idea, Haru." Katara stands from the chair and is already halfway towards the door before she hears the two of them clambering behind her.

"Not that I'm ready for you two to leave but I'm just saying… I'm not sure how my dad will react to two strangers sleeping in his home first thing when he gets back."

"No offense taken." Zuko's voice is like stone. "We hope to be out of here by tomorrow morning at the very latest."

Katara eyes him bitterly. "Not that we're unappreciative. But yes, we don't want to put you in that position of having to explain to your father and everything about who we are and why we're here. Especially since we - and you - don't know those answers."

Zuko is behind her so she tries to covertly elbow him in the ribs. He grunts and Haru gives them a curious expression. She tries to cover it by smiling as sweetly as she can manage and goes to the door.

"Shall we go, then?" Katara asks as she opens the door.

"Sure…" Haru slowly follows her. He's confused, as always.

The earthbender takes them through the village. His friend's house isn't too far from his own so they make it there without too much trouble. Naturally, the strangers receive a couple of stares but it doesn't seem to mind Haru.

The part of the small village looks slightly less poor than the others. By her standards, it looks similar to her igloo back in the Tribe. Hakoda was the Chief, so their igloo was slightly larger than others in the village, but not by much.

By Zuko's standards, she assumes he thinks that they all look the same.

Ignoring the sharp stab of anger - and  _envy_  but she's not going to dwell too much on that in particular - she follows Haru through the unlocked door of one of the nicer homes. She pauses at the entryway. Are they supposed to just  _walk_  on in?

Zuko, clearly not paying attention, bumps into her from behind.

Haru notices that he's no longer being followed. "Oh, it's fine. We don't really lock doors around here." He goes through another entryway, disappearing.

" _We should leave. Now._ " Zuko hisses into her ear.

Katara turns her head so that she can see him. " _Why? Haru hasn't given us reason to not trust him."_

" _I think he suspects something. We should just grab our things and hit the road before anything happens."_

" _Hit the road? I'm sure you understand why I'm not jumping at the chance to do_ that _. We need to see the map so we can figure out where we are."_

" _There's no point in figuring that out if we get ambushed."_

" _And who is going to ambush is? There aren't any benders -_ learned _benders anyway."_

Zuko shakes his head.  _"You should trust me on this. You didn't last time and look where that got us."_

" _Yes. In a village with food and supplies and a place to sleep. We've suffered_ so much _from that."_ Katara rolls her eyes.  _"Look, if you're so worried then go ahead and go back to the house. I'll look at the map and you'll just have to place all of your trust in_ me _to find out everything so we don't get lost."_

She knew he wouldn't go. It was the only reason why she even gave him the opportunity. A man with as much pride as the Prince wasn't going to back down from a potential ambush from novice benders and leave their survival up to someone like  _her_.

So, she gives him a knowing smile. They both know she has won this round.

She's following after Haru again. The firebender behind her huffs a breath of smoke before he reluctantly moves his legs to follow after her.

She wonders if he tires of doing that. Not that she cares, of course. She just... _wonders_.

The map of the entire world is stretched out on the wall. With the exception of Haru, the room is empty of others. Katara tries not to let too much gloating show in her face when she looks back at Zuko. Tries, and fails. The firebender bristles but says nothing.

"We're... _here._ " The earthbender points to a spot on the southwestern side of the huge Earth Kingdom continent. It's near the water and close to a tiny inlet. Thinking back, she tries to remember where the battle between her ship and Zhao's took place. That had been closer north - they've traveled a lot farther than she thought.

They were  _far_  to close to the Fire Nation for her liking. Her original guesses were wrong - a week and a half more they would have been at the Fire Lord's door.

"The Fire Nation has known holds outside of Omashu and near most of the ports so you'll want to stay away from the beaches and the main roads. Most of the troops are scattered everywhere from what people say." He turns back to them and shrugs his shoulders. "That news is probably old, anyway."

Katara already has every intention of staying away from roads.  _And_  ports. She has no doubt that Zhao will soon follow after them. He's so crazed about finding out about the Avatar and hates Zuko so much.

But instead of saying this out loud, she nods.

If she wants to get to the Northern Water Tribe - the strongholds of the resistance - she'll need to head north, naturally. She scowls. They'll have to find some way to get across the entire continent and then board a ship to get to the North.

Or… There's Kyoshi Island…

It's a lot closer. And Sokka will undoubtedly travel back to it at some point. The resistance is still trying to convince the warriors there to join them - Sokka being the main ambassador.

If she can get to Sokka, she can be reunited with her ship. A smile spreads across her face.

 _But_. What if he had already traveled by there? Going to Kyoshi would be a chance that might not pay off well. Sokka doesn't keep a schedule of when he goes, he just  _goes_. There is little use in trying to guess and risk the chance that he just  _may_  be there.

Or they  _could_  go to Ba Sing Se. It was the only strong Earth Kingdom cities that had not been touched by the Fire Nation. It's just as risky as Kyoshi, though. They flat-out refused any and all friendly gestures made by Hakoda.

They might not welcome her. They might recognize Zuko.

It's too much of a risk. Or  _is_  it?

Showing them that she has the Fire Prince under control might convince them to finally enter this war. If they see that not only does the resistance have the Avatar, but also a strong bargaining trip, they just  _might_  decide to give them the push they need.

Plus if she's heading to the North, Ba Sing Se is right there. And they have such  _beautiful_  ships in their port outside the city.

They'll need to travel by river. She needs to find one that will lead them straight to Ba Sing Se…

 _There_. Huang He River. It starts about a dozen or so miles from where Haru's hand is. It'll take them a few days to get to the river but when they do it'll lead them straight to where she wants to go.

Now that she knows where she wants to go, Katara takes a few moments to memorize the layout of the Earth Kingdom.

She doesn't say anything to Zuko. But when she glances back at him, he's studying the map too. It looks like they both are planning routes -  _very_  different routes.

He will want to go west, she guesses. The closer they can get to Fire Nation soil the better. Huang He River does veer to the west, especially when it goes further north before it curves sharply to the east towards Ba Sing Se.

It's a little out of the way, she admits. But it's the way they should go. If she starts walking North, there is no telling where she will end up.

The journey might take them a month. A little more if they move slowly.

She is  _not_  excited about that.

With a nod of her head, she steps back from the map. "I think we've figured out where we want to go."

Haru's eyebrows raise. "You...are not even going to discuss it?"

She looks back to Zuko. He's still looking at the map.

"Oh, I think we both just  _know_." She says with a smile.

-/-

Katara is folding Zuko's now-hemmed shirt and putting it in the backpack when it happens.

"I'm sorry." Haru whispers staring down at the floor. "I really am…"

She stares at him, confused. Tears are forming in his and he jerks his head away. Behind her, Zuko's heart starts racing and he's running to one of the windows.

" _Waterbender_!" He half-hisses, half-shouts. But Katara is still looking at Haru, the earthbender boy whose heart is beating with a dull rhythm and with wetness on his cheeks.

"Haru -" She whispers gingerly, taking a step towards him. Confusion clouds her mind and all she can think about is this young man _crying_.

"They made me -" Haru tries to explain but he's cut off by a fire arc. Katara cries out, extending a hand forward to stop the fire from hurting him but Haru has already jumped backwards.

She turns to glare at Zuko. " _What_ do you think you're doing? He's our  _friend_!"

"No he's not." The firebender glowers, his hands flaming at his sides. "We have  _company_."

Wide-eyed, she blinks and focuses her attentions outside of the hut. Zuko isn't lying, she senses the beating of a dozen strong hearts outside.  _Benders_. She gasps and looks to Haru. He's lying on the floor and he looks so torn that it nearly breaks her heart but there's madness in her now that replaces the pity.

"Haru - What did you do?" She gasps. Her feet move forward. The earthbender winces. " _What did you do?_ " Her voice is rising - rising like the hurt in her chest as she realizes that the man who she thought was their friend has done the worst thing imaginable.

He has betrayed them.

"I'm sorry Katara," he pleads, backing away from her as she takes unconcious steps forward. "I'm  _sorry_. They - They  _saw_  that he was from the Fire Nation - my  _father_ saw you! It's better this way - honestly, just  _please_  don't hurt them! The fire soldiers would have caught you and burned our village!"

Katara bends water from the pail in the corner of the kitchen and it swirls around her waist. She's seeing  _red_  and she wants to -

"Waterbender, we need to go.  _Now_." Zuko is saying. Katara steps closer to Haru but she stops. He's scared. Wide-eyed and shaking, she has made this  _young man_  quake with fear.

Then she realizes he's not scared of her. No, that can't be it. He's scared of  _them_. Of the earthbenders outside of the home.

He hadn't meant to warn them before, but he did in a way. His apology - it was not just for the betrayal, but it was for  _everything_. He didn't have to show them the map, but he did. The entire time, Katara never sensed any sort of falseness in him. Not even now, with him lying on the floor in front of her shaking.

Haru really is sorry. He's sorry for all of this. And Katara can't bring it upon herself to kill him even though she should.

"Kyoshi Island. When this day is over - if you want to make all of this right - go there. I cannot ask you to come with us but I can tell you to go there." Katara bends low, kneeling on the ground beside the earthbender who shies away from her. She places a gentle, soothing hand on his forehead. "I forgive you."

The water quickens around her waist and she stands. Haru's eyes are wide.

"Do they want a fight?" The firebender asks when she moves to stand by his side.

Katara sharpens her focus. The men's hearts are racing with excitement. Her palms start to itch, her blood speeds. Looking to Zuko, she nods.

"They do."  _But does she?_

Zuko mutters something under his breath. Then, he turns to face her. "If they have any idea of earthbending we can still beat them even if we don't work together. But we will be tired and injured when it's over. If it comes down to a fight, will you be fighting with me or against me?"

His eyes flicker to the earthbender still on the floor behind her but he says nothing. Katara sees that his shoulders stiffen with the anger at the betrayal and she wonders if he would kill Haru if she let him.

"I'm not going to be taken prisoner so easily again," is all she says. It's neither a  _yes_  or a  _no_  to his question, but it seems enough for him. He pauses, tenses and his lips go thin. Still, he nods and his hands glow with fire.

His fire is red and orange. So unlike Ji's yellow.

It seems that now one of her strongest enemies is once again her ally.

She grabs her still-full waterskin and ties it around her waist underneath the water that still circles her. Zuko makes a move to get the backpack but she latches onto his wrist. "I'll take that." She states.

He frowns. Katara lets go and slings the pack over her shoulders, making sure that it is secure before she takes in a breath and stretches out her fingers. Her palms still itch.

Zuko opens the door and the waterbender is the first to go out.

Before she can blink into the sun, a rock is hurled towards her and she quickly spears it in half with a water dart. Fire whirls over her head and she ducks, aiming for the benders' feet while Zuko aims for their heads.

The ground beneath her quivers and soon, she's rising. She stumbles, legs shaking on the earth pillar that she's on and her eyes go wide. She's so  _high_.

Over the edge, she catches the reds and oranges of Zuko's fire.

The benders who are holding her pillar up start to move. She senses the quickening of their hearts and catches a scant glimpse of their arms over the edge of the rock. They're about to drop her - they're too weak to hold the pillar much longer.

Katara takes the water around her waist and jumps, propelling the water with her hands to catch her feet just as the pillar shoots back down to earth. Below where she is, Zuko is fending off multiple attacks, jumping off each pillar that is thrown up underneath him before he can get to her height.

She shifts her hands and the water that is holding her up crashes into a wave. She's falling steadily - but quickly - back to the ground. Rocks - tiny, jagged, unformed things - keep deflecting off of her platform and she shields her face with her hands until she touches ground.

Her sleeve is ripped and she feels blood running down her arm. A minor injury but the healing in her blood surges as the tiny wound. She grits her teeth, wishing now more than ever that she could learn to control  _that._

The water underneath her is sucked back up and she freezes it. Twisting, turning and flipping her torso, she careens it all with a swipe of her arm to the benders that surround her. She ducks, curving to the left to avoid another rock.

These benders are no masters but it's clear they've been practicing.

They move in groups - six on her and six on Zuko. It's taking all of each group working together to launch a rock fast enough to cause any damage. While they're weak, it is rather surprising that they taught this to themselves.

Katara turns on her heel and then plants herself firmly on the ground with a jump. Her fist punches through a stream of water and it freezes up. She bats away several rocks while her other arm pulls moisture from a nearby well.

She drops the ice on her arm and smashes it towards the earthbender closest to her. He's thrown backwards, ice in his stomach, into an earthbender who is fighting Zuko. Both of the men are knocked down.

Zuko's fire darts spread to her attackers through his. But when clothes catch fire, she immediately washes the flames away while simultaneously knocking down her opponents.

The water around her waist isn't proving to be enough and she doesn't want to use the remains in her waterskin. She glances around while deflecting a heavier boulder and sees a communal well.

A smile on her lips, her ice darts are thrown with much more abandon.

Her hands make quick work and she pulls on the water in the well. Biting her cheek, she feels the sweat on her forehead and her arms start to shake form exertion as she finally gets control and  _yanks_  the water out.

The wave crashes in between her and the firebender, wiping the earthbenders off the ground. She quickly freezes it, gathers more water, and then propels herself across the ice to where Zuko stands.

He's not even panting. She  _hates_  him and his sun.

"Go - before it melts!" She gasps out, already running from Haru's hut and into the forest. Katara thinks that she's going west - just the way she wants to go - and Zuko is following her. Soon, her weariness forces her behind him but she pushes herself to leap over all of the logs that he manages to avoid to keep pace.

When they've run for about a mile away from the village, Katara's legs give. Her boot lodges underneath a log and she trips, her entire body slipping out from underneath her. She barely manages to throw her hands up in time to catch herself. Everything is rising up to meet her and -

Her palms hit solid earth. Her body stops. The ground is inches from her nose and she breathes out in relief; grass sways.

Katara gets a knee on the ground and slips her foot from underneath the log. It hurts, but a quick check shows that she didn't break it or sprain anything. It throbs though - she probably just bruised it.

Heart racing and lungs burning, Katara rolls over into a sitting position with her legs propped up on the log. She leans back on her palms and tries to catch her breath while her ankle starts to heal. The familiar twinge of pain takes over the throbbing, and she grits her teeth for a moment to wait as it passes.

Zuko has stopped and she hears him crush leaves as he steps towards her. His heart is erratic.  _Finally_  he's tired.

"They will catch up to us," he manages to get out in between gasps. "We should keep moving."

Katara shakes her head. Her whole body groans at the idea of running again.

"No they won't. They don't know where we went and they're fishers and farmers, not trackers. Following us would mean they would have to split up." She reaches up to wipe the sweat off of her brow, too tired to try bending it off. "They're not going to take on two masters alone."

Zuko plants himself down on a log somewhere out of her eyesight. She tenses. Katara would rather  _see_  him when they're sitting down. So, she bites back a moan of protest as she turns around to face him, leaning her back against the log.

She's actually more comfortable this way even though the backpack is digging into her back uncomfortably.

Time passes as the two catch their breath in silence. Her legs are jelly; his heart hasn't calmed by much. The firebender's body is still tense. Taunt, as if he's waiting for an earthbender to crash through the trees at any moment.

Katara didn't realize that she was studying his face when she suddenly asks, "your scar. How did you get it?"

His head snaps towards hers, his good eye narrowing and the good cheek getting a little red. It doesn't scare her - it  _interests_ her. She's leaning forward, waiting for him to speak.

"I told you about my etching. Story for story, eh?" She shrugs her shoulders, trying to look like she doesn't care. In reality, she's shifting over the forest floor minutely to get closer so that she can hear his rasping, low voice if he starts to speak.

The firebender stares at her. She stares right back.

The waterbender jumps when he stands.

"We shouldn't stay here for too much longer." His back is now turned towards her and he's walking through the forest.

Katara can feel her face and shoulders drop. Then, she sighs, holding on to the log behind her so that she can steadily rise up on her shaking legs. The first step is hard, the next is hardest, but then she gets into a rhythm and she ignores the shudders.

He's not walking near as fast as he could be.  _And_  he's silent.

She glares icy daggers into his back as she stumbles and trips through the forest. He does the same, though far less often than her because his legs are not trembling with each step.

Katara hates him. And tomorrow is a full moon.

-/-

"What do you mean you don't know how to hunt? I thought that was like a  _game_  for royals!" Katara is screaming. Birds, what could be their supper, flutter away in groups. If she wasn't so angry, she might be a bit concerned that  _she's_  scaring off their meals.

But she's not. Because all of her fury is directed at the firebender who is glaring at her with the same amount of anger.

"I meant what I said. I  _don't_  know how to hunt." His voice is much more controlled than hers but just because he isn't screaming doesn't mean that his tone possesses less venom. "Only minor Royals who live in the Earth Kingdom go hunting for  _fun_."

He sounds a bit insulted. Her anger peaks like a rushing waterfall and soon she's marching across the small clearing to poke a thin finger into his chest.

" _You_  are -  _You're_  - You're... _ugh!_  I can't even  _speak_  to you right now." She spins on her heel and marches away.

"Is that supposed to be a bad thing?"

Katara halts.

The firebender barely has time to twist out of the way when she hurls an ice dagger at his head.

She bends the dagger towards her and melts it back into the waterskin at her side, twisting the cap on with a haughty glare.

"Are you  _crazy_? What are you trying to do?  _Kill me?_ " Zuko is the one shouting now.

"The thought crossed my mind."

"You're insane."

"And  _you're_  useless! What can you do?  _Nothing_!" She throws her hands into the air, whirling around to fix him with another one of her glares. "You know, in my culture it's considered a weakness if men don't know how to hunt. It shows that they cannot provide for their family or community."

Zuko sneers at this. "Oh, I'm sorry. The Fire Nation happens to have more enlightened views than you  _peasant barbarians._  If we're abiding by your gender traditions, perhaps  _you_  should  _stop_  bending and  _start_  cooking dinner!"

"I'd cook dinner if you'd actually went out and killed something! And what do you mean by  _enlightened views_? I'm from the Southern Tribes, you idiot! I'm certainly not a peasant either!"

"As if that somehow  _matters_? I thought all of your kind hunted anyways?"

"Of course! Because  _we're_  taught how to provide for ourselves and our family. Unlike you  _Fire Nationers_."

"Then  _why_  are you yelling at me if you know how to hunt already? Just go  _catch something_  so we can eat!"

"Because you shouldn't  _expect_  me to do it! I'm  _not_  going to do all the work around here so that we can survive!"

" _Agni!_ " Zuko swears. The palms at his sides start to flare up but the fire dies down instantly. His jaw tightens and he glares at her. "I'll light the fire and set up camp if  _you_  go catch something." He's so calm now that it sort of scares her.

His eyes are no less fierce.

Katara narrows hers and crosses her arms over her chest. " _Fine_. But I'm taking the backpack with me."

He sighs. "Be my guest." The heavy sarcasm makes her purse her lips but she holds her tongue because she can be nice. Sometimes.

Katara spins around and marches away from the clearing. It's getting darker in the forest, and she purposefully bends and snaps twigs to mark her way as she goes.

In the Tribes, they always hunted in groups. Now she's alone with no weapon except her bending. Bending that is weakened because the Full Moon is tomorrow.

She manages to not trip too many times.

When she returns to the campsite, her arms and the backpack are weighed down with enough fruit to make several meals. Zuko's face tightens when he sees that it's not meat but he doesn't say anything as she lays it all out on a blanket from the backpack.

Katara thinks that they scared off any and all wildlife within the immediate area with all of their yelling but she's certainly not going to tell  _him_  that. After all, she was the one who sort of... _instigated_  it.

She unscrews the waterskin cap and cleans the fruit off. Katara bends the water so that it separates from the dirt and re-fills the waterskin back. Lifting it to her lips, she takes a gulp, wipes her mouth, and then hands it to Zuko.

"Go ahead. Take some. We're both no good if we get dehydrated and I know you're thirsty." Katara says sullenly. She  _hates_  being nice to him.

From Zuko's expression and the way his eyes won't meet hers, he seems to hate it too but he takes the waterskin and starts drinking.

When they're finished eating and drinking, she tosses the discarded cores far from the camp and puts the leftovers in the backpack for later. As for the water, she takes it from some weeds, leaving a patch of brown behind that makes her bit her lip and look away.

The sun has long gone down and it's dark. The fire that Zuko made lights a close circle but beyond that is pure blackness.

Katara takes out her bedroll and then tosses Zuko the pack so he can get his own. It's been quiet - awkward between the two. But when she goes over to a strong tree, she can feel his curiosity staring into her back.

"What are you doing?" He asks when she starts to climb.

Katara has the bedroll and a piece of rope down her shirt and her hands on the trunk. It's too big for her to wrap her arms around it but there are plenty of little nooks going up the side.  _Perfect_. She climbs up to the nearest, biggest limb and settles down with a sigh.

"Going to sleep." She replies simply. Trees in the Earth Kingdom are stouter than they are in the Fire Nation or on the islands around the Poles that can support wildlife. She's learned from spending time on Kyoshi Island how to properly climb them and is finally glad that the skill has been put to use.

Tugging the roll out of her top, she carefully spreads it out on the wide trunk. She climbs inside, securing herself by tying the rope around her waist. Rolling off in the middle of the night does  _not_ sound appealing.

Katara turns her head away from the light. Below, she hears Zuko set up his own roll beside the fire.

Faintly, she ponders how long he will last down there.

Not that she cares. She hates him.

-/-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for the support! Kudos and comments really help drive forward the story. Every bit helps tremendously :D
> 
> I MAY have to switch updates from 2xs/week to 1ce/week. Just a warning.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recap: Katara and Zuko's visit with Haru is cut short when the earthbender is forced to betray them to village elders. The two benders are forced to fight their way out but make it into the forest easily, heading to Huang He River just as she has planned. Now that she knows to head to Ba Sing Se so they can get to the Northern Water Tribe, Katara's new goal is to not kill the firebender before they make it there. However, that's continuing to prove rather difficult...

A loud, pounding and fast heartbeat wakes her from unpleasant dreams of red and blood and yellow fire but it's a startled cry that makes her eyes fly open.

She fumbles for her waterskin and she bolts upright. The rope that is around her waist digs into her stomach uncomfortably. It's stopping her from wriggling out of the bedroll so the only thing that she can do is lean over the edge of the tree trunk that is her bed to see Zuko standing face-to-face with an armadillo lion.

It's big. It's bigger than she expected.

Zuko's hands light with fire and he starts trying to scare the animal away with fire darts. Katara watches, palms itching and water close by just incase something happens.

The armadillo lion makes a noise that's somewhere between hiss and a roar. Zuko's flames seem to scare it though, and it lunges backwards before circling around. The firebender meets it step for step, driving it back with more and more fireballs.

Her shoulders tense. But she doesn't move just yet. Armadillo lions travel alone from what she remembers so if Zuko can scare this one off they should be fine.

Water trickles out of the waterskin and into her palm.

Zuko's heart is racing but his expression is controlled. The Armadillo lion stops, it's tail twitching as it watches the firebender.

The beast lunges towards him and Katara sends a speeding arrow of ice at the animal's throat but Zuko is quicker and nearer - his flaming kick swipes against the fur on the chest near the heart.

The animal squeals, the heartbeat flashes for an instant like lightning, and then it stops. She sighs in relief.

The icy arrow strikes the ground and Zuko jumps. She smirks - out of all the things that could have startled him it was  _her_  arrow that did it.

He looks up at her and she can't read his eyes from this distance. "Thanks for the help," he utters.

"You looked like you had it under control." She smiles back at him. "Looks like you managed to kill something."

She reaches around to untie the rope around her waist. The cap of the waterskin is screwed back on before she climbs back down the tree trunk.

Zuko melts her ice dart with fire.

"Was that necessary?" She sighs. Quickly checking the animal's heartbeat, she is relieved to see that it is, in fact, dead. Good. They'll be able to have meat. Plus it's a big animal - they'll have meat for  _days_.

Her stomach rumbles.

She grabs the backpack that's lying on the ground near Zuko's bedroll. She digs around through the fruit until she finds the small knife they bought at the market in Haru's village. It's not exactly a skinning knife and it's so small that it's going to take them a while, but it's all they have.

Katara sits by the animal. "Help me get it on it's back."

With the Prince's help, she manages to roll it over so that the soft belly is pointing towards the sky. It's a male - she quickly cuts off the pieces and throws them over her shoulder.

Zuko winces.

"Ever skinned an animal before,  _Prince_?" She asks with a snicker playing at her lips - would it be too much to call him  _Princess_ instead? She cuts one line from the animal's throat to just above it's tail.

When she pushes the knife underneath the slit to peel back the skin, the firebender gulps. But he's watching her carefully.  _Very_  carefully. Actually he's watching her hands but that's still  _her_.

"No." He manages to force out. When she opens up the chest cavity by cutting up the sternum, she swears he turns green.

Now it's not as funny.  _Maybe_. It is a  _little_  funny.

She lifts the hand with the knife and points it at him. His eyes widen at the blood and pieces of meat and who-knows-what-else on the blade. "Watch for animals. There's no telling what kind of scavengers are going to come around if this takes too long."

Zuko actually seems relieved and he steps away. She isn't sure where he's going until he goes by the tree where she slept. Curious, she watches him while she cuts through the windpipe. The firebender climbs up - not as gracefully as she had but well enough.

He swings his legs over to her trunk and sits, perched up to see the surrounding area. She quickly looks back down and sets the knife aside to remove the internal organs.

 _This_  was the part she always hated. Luckily, she was used to it. Sokka happened to hate skinning animals more than she did. Somehow she was the one who was always stuck with the job after a hunting trip.

Katara makes quick work of the rest of the steps. It's so natural for her that it doesn't take much longer cut everything they can't use free. She has to rock a little, and she grunts when she has to move the animal onto it's side to drain the blood out but she gets it done without the Prince having to come back down.

She pulls with all of her might to get the animal back onto it's stomach so that the untouched back is underneath her when she sits on top, straddling it. Her forearms and hands are all bloody and messy but there's no use cleaning it now.

The cuts are similar to before. She quickly slides the knife through the cuts and gently saws the skin off of the meat. Skinning takes longer than gutting it. Actually getting the meat from the body takes even longer.

By the time she is completely finished, the sun is up and her arms are  _covered_  in red. Gulping and pushing unwelcome memories away, she quickly straightens up and goes over to the side. She bends water from some other weeds and washes herself off.

She has to take a few moments to breathe before she's willing to turn around.

"Finished?" Zuko asks, his voice a little strained.

Katara takes another breath. She wipes her wet hands on her tunic. "Yeah. Come down here and cook it all. Make yourself useful again."

She turns just in time to see the firebender fall to the ground when he misses a notch. He grunts but  _she_  laughs. A sound that clearly irritates him because he glares at her as he quickly stands and goes to where she's laid the meat out on some rocks.

Just like she instructs, his fires make most of the strips into dried-out jerky for them to eat later - she uses her water to help that along as well - and he slowly, lightly burns other pieces for them to eat now.

The meat has a charcoal taste to it and it's slightly burnt, but it'll do. She swallows it down with some water.

Katara bends some water out of the ground that she used earlier to wash her hands. With it, she washes the fur out and then lays it out so she can bend the water out of it.

Their stomachs are full, they have meat to last a few days, and now they have raw fur and hide. They're certainly better off than she could have hoped.

She stuffs the fur and the bedrolls into the pack - barely - and it's bulging when she slings it across her back.

When she looks up, she sees that sure enough, they're heading west. She tries to hide her grin as she starts walking. Zuko scrambles up from the boulder he was sitting on to follow after her.

"Where are you going?" He asks after they make it several yards from their camp.

She shrugs her shoulders. Best to act like she doesn't know. "Somewhere. Better to keep moving than to stay in one spot."

He quirks an eyebrow. The good one. "Even if that somewhere is a place you don't know?"

She hums instead of replying.

After a mile of silent walking, Zuko is the first to break.

"Where did you learn to skin animals?"

She gives him a humored look. "The same place I learned to hunt:  _home_. There are some things you can't learn in a palace,  _Prince_."

He frowns. "I'm sure I could have managed to get the meat without… all of that."

"Sure." Katara laughs. "And I'm sure you would get the bad meat. You'd probably also try to eat the organs, too."

"I thought the organs were okay to eat?"

"Some of them are. But others - like the stomach, intestines, and some livers can kill you. You have to know the animal before you start eating  _that_. It's why I threw those out instead of having you cook them.

"You also could have cut the wrong thing and made the animal start hemorrhaging. Or you would have wasted a lot of the good, protein-rich meat in favor of the lesser." She looks at him. "It's a lot more complicated than you think."

The Prince seems to think about this for a moment because it's quiet again.

"Plus," she decides to add, "it's rather disgusting. I hope we get to a river soon because I  _really_  need a bath."

"You certainly smell…  _different_." She looks at him sharply but he's  _smiling_  and his eyes are light.

The insulted frown on her face changes into a small smile. She steps over a log - grateful that her slippers have been replaced by boots - and chuckles. "I guess I do."

When she realizes that her shoulders are relaxing and the smile is still on her lips, she clears her throat. Wriggling, she grips the backpack a little tighter and starts to speed the pace.

She  _can't_  be playing too nice to Zuko. She just needs to lead the Prince to Ba Sing Se so that they can take him prisoner and win the war.  _That_  is her goal. Niceness and friendships will just... _complicate_  things.

Just like it had with Lee. She had spared the whole ship of firebenders - and Zhao because she knows that he survived her ice darts - just because he asked her. Well,  _pleaded_  her to but that's the same.

Friendship with firebenders will get her nowhere. It will gain her nothing but more complications and she doesn't need those. They're the last thing she wants so she just needs to stay as cold as the southern waters and harden her heart like ice.

She needs to do it for the Avatar - she needs to do it for Aang. Sokka, her father, her soldiers, her tribe and the world is balanced on her shoulders now.

Smiles will not make that burden any lighter. Only heavier.

-/-

"This is maddening."

Katara lifts an eyebrow and looks at the Prince. They've been walking the past few miles with as little speaking as possible. She's been fine with the quiet - her newfound resolve making it difficult to start chattering away - but it seems the firebender is  _not_.

"We can at least... _talk_  about... _something_. This - This  _silence_  isn't doing anyone any good."

She snorts. "What did you expect, firebender? We're just trying to make it...somewhere. We're not even friends - we're  _enemies_  and I was your prisoner, need I remind you?"

Zuko's permanent frown grows deeper. "I-I know that. I haven't forgotten. But I can't stand this quiet. I'm going to go mad."

"Who says you haven't already?" That earns her a glare. "Relax, firebender."

She hates him.  _She hates him_.

He sighs. Lifting a hand to run it through his hair, Katara quickly averts her gaze.  _She hates him._

"Your uncle… He came to visit me after  _that night_ ," she pauses but Zuko already knows what she's referring to. His back straightens and his eyes jerk to hers. She clears her throat, continues. "He said you had - have? - a cousin. Lu Ten, I think?"

Something quirks at the corners of his lips. "Yes. He's a few years older than me. I think he'll be… twenty-six this year?" He shrugs his shoulders. They seem heavier than before. "Why? What did he say?"

It's Katara's turn to shrug her shoulders. "Just that you and he were close before he went away -"

" - he didn't  _go away_. He was banished."

"Oh?" She feigns ignorance, not for the first time.

"He was a part of my uncle's plan for Ba Sing Se. After he captured the city, he placed Lu Ten in charge. My grandfather wanted to see how well the heir to the throne could rule a city, I suppose." Zuko's face twists. "But rebel forces drove out the troops. We've never been able to re-capture the city since."

"And that warrants banishment?"

Zuko's lips pinch. "It wasn't just that. Lu Ten - he was very popular with the soldiers even if the superiors didn't like him much. When my father became Fire Lord, he discovered rumors of Lu Ten inciting a rebellion because he felt  _he_ should be on the throne. Father had the rumors investigated, found them to be true and banished Lu Ten from the Fire Nation."

"Why did your father have a claim to the throne over your uncle and cousin? Shouldn't they have been the natural heirs?" Katara steps up onto a fallen log before she steps down; Zuko steps over it.

"Yes… But Lu Ten's loss of Ba Sing Se changed that. When my grandfather expelled him from the army, Lu Ten's honor was lost...and so was his birthright. Iroh was too old and had no other children. So, the claim fell to my father."

"And you believe all of that? The rumors of rebellion? Lu Ten's apparent ambition?" Katara presses.

Zuko tenses immediately. "Of course. He was found guilty. My father  _should_  have executed him but he didn't for the sake of his brother. He was merciful."

"Are you sure your father wasn't trying to get rid of him for...political means? You already said Lu Ten had the support of the soldiers, and if -"

Zuko's hand grabs at her arm and he glares down at her. "My father would not make up such slanderous lies about someone.  _Especially_  about his nephew."

His hand is warm - too warm and it's getting even warmer to the point that it's starting to burn - and she starts to pull away. "Let go. You're burning - " The heat is gone in an instant. She blinks, startled as he quickly steps away. Looking back down at her hand, she sees a few small heat blisters and the red imprint of his hand.

Her healing blood surges to it. The familiar tingle and pain make her drop her arm back down to her side.

Zuko though...he's watching. He steps forward, slowly reaching out to grab her hand -  _gently_  - and he pulls it back up. His eyes don't leave her skin as the burn starts to heal before his eyes.

Katara watches him watch her healing.

They stand there for a few minutes, her hand in his. His fingers are warm but it's not uncomfortable even though it should be. Katara's breathing starts to slow and so does his - it's strange but… she can't bring herself to tear her arm away from him.

When her burns are basically invisible, Zuko finally looks up at her. "Can all waterbenders do that?"

He should know the answer to that and she almost doesn't bother replying.

But, she sees the curiosity and awe on his face and she sighs. "No. I-I think I'm the only one…"

Hama and Pakku thinks it has to do with the bloodbending and the healing. Before she was a warrior or a bloodbender, the few waterbending training she was able to receive was focused on healing.

Now, she was a master waterbender and one of the two known bloodbenders. Hama could do something similar, but she did not have as much healing training as even Katara had. Plus, she wasn't nearly as young.

Katara doesn't know why or how she can heal herself. She just knows that she  _can_. She also knows that it's tiring and takes up a lot of energy and she can't really control it. It's become more of a hinderance more than anything in battle.

The waterbender realizes that Zuko has held her hand for far too long and she slowly pulls it away, letting it fall back limply by her sides. They're still close though, standing beside each other - facing each other - in this forest.

 _She hates him_.

"Why do you do that? Every time you burn me you pull away." It's her turn to ask the questions.

Zuko's eyes flicker and for a moment, she wonders if he's going to tell her a lie or the truth. He looks torn, like whatever he might admit is something  _big_  and important.

So she waits.

"I don't like to burn people." His voice is a rasping whisper. "I don't...I don't want to cause scars on the ones that don't deserve them."

The way his heart beats steadily and the truthfulness that fills his eyes assures her that he's not lying.

Her eyes naturally flicker to his scar. It's almost indiscernible underneath his black hair but she sees it. Red and angry against his pale skin and amber-colored eyes.

She remembers the first time she saw him; how he thought he would be handsome if not for that scar. Now...she doesn't even see it unless she tries.

Her fingers want to touch it. She wants to see if it feels like the scar that covers her back.  _Dangerous thoughts._

Katara turns away and starts walking again. After a while, the firebender follows.

Two and a half miles of silence later, Katara feels the pull of the water before she sees it. It's huge -  _Huang He_  - and she practically starts running.

When she sees it, she smiles so big that it feels like her face is going to split in half.  _Finally_ , a bath.

The backpack drops on the ground beside her. When Zuko finally catches up to her, she is already tearing the tunic over her head and shoving the pants down her hips. Her boots are long forgotten somewhere and her hair is out of the messy braid.

She's in the water before he can even ask her what's going on.

In the safety of the stream, she unwraps her bindings and stays low in the water with her back to him. Not only does she need to re-wind them after the day, but they also need a good washing out.

When she lays them out on the grass - making sure that her other arm is keeping her covered - she notices that Zuko isn't in the clearing. For a few moments, she starts to panic and she starts looking around wide-eyed and -

\- a splash sounds behind her and she jumps, whirling around to see the Prince brushing his now-wet hair out of his face.

Relief floods through her.

She settles down deeper into the water and lets it wash over her. Katara would kill for soap and a washcloth so that the grimy feeling would go completely away. She reminds herself to get some when they stop in the nearest village.

The two benders stay away from each other. She spots his breeches and tunic down the way and she can't help but blush a little as she looks away.

Turning her back to him, she rinses her hair out several times. She winces when her fingers work through the snags.

When she starts to turn pruny, she grabs her bindings from the grass and starts wrapping them around her chest and bottom. Finished, she stands and bends the water out of them before climbing out to grab her clothes.

She washes them out several times to try to get the animal smell out before she pulls them on. They're dry with a flick of her wrist.

Zuko climbs out a little after she does - she keeps her head turned to the side - and she bends the water out of his as well without him asking. He's as surprised as she is at the gesture. Luckily, no one says anything and she simply grabs the bag.

"We should probably take turns carrying it." He comments, noticing how the bag sags a bit down her back with the weight of all of their things.

"It's fine. I got it." She doesn't say that she doesn't really trust him enough to not take off with it. Besides, holding it makes her feel...better. Like she's in charge.

"I'm clearly the stronger one here. You complained about me being useless so  _let_  me be useful now." He holds his hands out expectantly. Katara glares at him. "I'm not moving until you give me the backpack."

She scowls. "Fine." She rips if off her back and shoves it into his chest. He's steps back a bit. "You want the bag?  _Take_  the damned bag."

Katara starts stalking away as he puts it on and then he's following her. She feels lighter and more exposed without the weight that she was just getting used to.

Her shoulders don't ache anymore though.

Silence is their company once again as they make their way down the river. Katara keeps an eye on the sky to make sure they're going the way that the map said to go. She makes sure that she can see the water at all times. And when it falls out of sight between the trees, she makes sure she can  _feel_ it.

"You say you want me to help - that you're not going to do everything by yourself - but when I ask to help, you become all... _tempered_." Zuko says at last, breaking their peaceful silence with something that makes her blood boil.

"I'm  _not_  tempered." She hisses out, causing him to raise his good eyebrow. Seeing how that came out, she clears her throat. "I'm not tempered."

"Okay."

" _I'm_   _not_."

"I said okay."

"Yeah, but I know what 'okay' means. You don't believe me."

Zuko sighs. "All right, waterbender. You're not tempered. There? That better?"

"That was so sarcastic that I can't even…" She breaks off, shaking her head. "Everyone thinks that I'm  _so_  temperamental but I'm  _not_. You -  _You're_ the temperamental one. We can't have us  _both_  be that way."

"I am not." He scoffs.

"Oh, yes you are. Do I need to even remind you of all the times you almost killed me on that ship?"

"I never almost killed you. I just...used a bit of force…"

"What about the time when you tried to pull a trick like your Uncle and offered me tea? You were getting angry until I told you that I still had my cuffs on!"

"Well…" He's clearly becoming uncomfortable.

Katara ignores this. "Or what about every conversation you've had with Zhao? The time when I figured out Lee was your spy? When you became angry and tense after that night with Ji? When -"

"Okay. Just... _stop_. I understand how that all may  _seem_  but -"

"No buts." She interrupts him. "Face it: I may be a  _little_  temperamental but you're way worse than I am."

"I'm not even going to get in this with you."

"See! Right there -  _temperamental_."

Zuko rolls his eyes. Katara smiles victoriously.

"Please, ignore your own faults in favor of focusing on mine." Zuko huffs. The smile on Katara's face drops.

"Just what do you mean by that?"

He looks at her quickly. "Nothing."

"No. You said it so you might as well finish it." Katara says crossly.

A pause. "You're too trusting and you don't listen."

Katara blinks. And then she  _laughs_. "Oh that's  _rich_ , Prince. Me -  _I'm_ too trusting. I would love to hear you back that up considering that over those  _very_  few days that you held me as prisoner, I didn't trust any of you or your uncle's or Lee's attempts to woo me into talking about the Avatar."

Zuko sneers and shakes his head. "I was referring to the slavers - you just walked right up to them without even thinking! - and then of course that earthbending boy -"

"His name is Haru and he's hardly what I'd call a boy." It takes her a minute after she says that to realize how that sounds. Zuko's eyebrows lift and he looks at her with that knowing look even though he really knows _nothing_. "I didn't - I'm not… Just forget it." She huffs.

"You decided to trust both of those people and look where that got us. You almost wound up in the slave trade  _and_  your  _friend_  turned us over to his bending friends."

"We were hardly ever in any danger." She rolls her eyes.

"It doesn't matter. If we weren't benders there's no telling what would have happened because not only are you too trusting but you also don't listen to those around you. Namely,  _me_. Because I was right on both of those accounts and you blatantly ignored me."

"Well, the thing is,  _Prince,_ that we do just happen to be benders -  _master_  benders at that. If that wasn't the case, I wouldn't nearly be so...opportunistic."

"That's not exactly the wisest way to think."

"What are you? A monk?" She just looks at him.

"No?" He answers, giving her a glare. "All I'm saying is - oh  _nevermind_. You're just going to ignore it and  _scream_  some more." He waves his hand and huffs, turning his head to stare straight ahead.

Katara swears she can feel her face turn purple as she putters. " _Scream some more?!_  Just who do  _you_  think _you are_ , firebender? I saved your inconsiderate and ungrateful ass on that damned boat! I'll  _scream_  if it so pleases me and you can't do a  _damn_  thing about it!"

Zuko huffs some more. Katara has to use all of her inner strength to keep from freezing him in place.

She hates him. She  _really_  hates him.

But this is good. Because this anger and this arguing is only making her hate him more. She likes the bickering, despite the annoyance and frustration. It's better than when they're  _nice_.

Being nice to the firebender will get her nothing but trouble. Being like  _this_  though, it will only help her in the end. She'll be able to switch their roles like this - this… irritation will only work to her advantage. She just...has to make sure that she doesn't wind up  _killing_ him. She's strong, but she's not strong enough to carry his corpse on her back all the way to the Northern Tribe.

Katara focuses her attention back on Zuko. He's moved ahead of her and she smirks when he trips over a log, barely catching himself.

It's about time he started tripping again.

They stumble their way through the forest a few more miles before they sit and rest again. Katara never thought she would wish for snow. Snow doesn't grab and latch onto your clothes and scratch your face and hands.

She grumbles when she plops down on a boulder, taking a few pieces of the jerky from the backpack before tossing it to the firebender. They eat in silence and use the water in the waterskin to cool down.

Finished, she makes her way to the river to re-fill the waterskin. She caps it off, ties it at her waist, and waits for the Prince to get finished...whatever he's doing.

"I think it's my turn to carry the backpack." Katara says when she hears him behind her. She turns and holds her hands out like he had earlier.

"You carried it all day yesterday and this morning. Just let me carry it and then I swear, you'll get it back." He straps it over his shoulders.

" _Why_  is everything so difficult?"

"You're the one who makes it that way. I'm perfectly fine holding it. You're the one with the problem."

She snorts. "Fine. Just take it."

Her legs are sore from running and walking yesterday and they're jelly from going so far today. But she will not ask to rest when the firebender is marching through the forest like it's no problem.

They stick to the trees again. Under the cover, it won't be as easy for others - if there even  _are_  others - to see them there. It's the way Zuko seems to want to go and as long as she can feel the tug of the river, she's fine.

That's when she realizes it. Zuko hasn't asked anything about where they're going since they met up with the river.

He has practically taken charge now. He's the one in the front, leading her through the forest without hesitation. She hasn't told him a direction or anything - he just  _went_.

They're going the direction she had planned - north and west - and that was probably why she hadn't noticed it before.

But still. Why  _hadn't_  she noticed it before?

The Prince is leading her somewhere. She's been so absorbed with soreness and irritation that she hasn't even noticed until now. He knows where he's going… and she knows where she's going… but she isn't sure why they're heading on the same path…

Her eyes narrow instantly.

Testing him, she veers to the right - away from the river and deeper into the forest. Zuko notes the change instantly but she acts like she isn't paying attention to his immediate fluster.

"Where are you going? We should stick near the river." He tries to coax her back.

"I think we should go this way. Maybe there's another village where we can sell the fur and get some supplies."

"I don't think that's a good idea. Remember what happened in the last village? What makes you think that the other is going to be any different?"

"Look, firebender, we need some knives. Some  _real_  knives. Since we're both adamant to keep the other prisoner and are going to be traveling through this forest for no telling how long, we should get some supplies now instead of waiting until we need them."

"But we should stick to the river so we know where we're going."

She jumps over a puddle of mud. "I'm sure we won't get too lost. You're more than welcome to keep going. I'll enjoy my time in a tavern and a real bed instead of the tree." Flashing him a smile, she sees that he's frowning. "Hope you don't run into more armadillo lions."

The Prince huffs but she knows she's won again. Smiling, she takes the lead again, journeying deeper into the forest with the firebender behind her.

-/-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: Skinning/butchering information came from: my uncles (we're a big hunting family), Colorado State University's "Cutting Up Big Game Carcass" article and wiki-how's "skinning" article. Sadly (or luckily?) I'm no expert on that. Sounds like messy, nasty business.
> 
> If you ever want to get in contact with me and don't have a account, I'm on Tumblr (wannabewonderbender - aren't I creative?) Links are on my profile. I'm more than willing to answer any questions! Don't be shy!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recap: Zuko and Katara talk about Lu Ten. After a quick bath and more borderline-nice moments, Katara realizes that she hasn't told Zuko where they're going - he's just leading the way without any instructions. So she quickly reins him in and goes down a completely different path hoping to find a village somewhere. It's a full moon night - things are bound to happen.

It is sheer luck that there is a village just a few miles away.

Katara's steps are practically skips - she holds her head high as the firebender ducks his low and to the side as if he is trying to hide his scar. Like he is afraid of being recognized in this random, tiny town that appears just a bit larger than Haru's village.

No comment comes from her though. She presses her lips into a smile and keeps walking in front. Wandering through the darkening streets, she feels lighter than a feather as the sun disappears behind the buildings.

It is a full moon night. She will  _finally_ replenish herself completely. It's been far too long.

Katara is the one who spots the inn first. It is a dusty looking thing but it looks pleasant enough and she'd pick this over a tree branch any day. An actual bed is preferable to her little bedroll.

Zuko dips his head lower as they go in and she throws him a confused glance as they go from the dusky streets to the darkness of the tavern-inn. He's moving stiffly. His eyes keep shifting around in the room as Katara weaves her way through the tables and up to the bar.

Perhaps the odd behavior is because she's knocked him off his course? They're no longer heading in the direction that he originally planned. Maybe that's the reason why he's acting so -  _Katara takes the moment to inspect him again_  - strange _._  Shifty. Like he is a thief carrying precious, missed cargo.

The Prince acting like a common criminal. Katara sniffs. How amusing.

"Two bedrooms." She's gruff. Niceness - much like with Zuko - will get her nowhere with the stout barman with the dark mustache and thick arms. "We have fur to trade."

The man's eyes wash over her. It's not much, there's the high bar in the way and she refuses to flinch even the slightest. She's got her own on him, steady and calm like she isn't walking through the Earth Kingdom with the Fire Lord's son.

"What pelt?"

Katara's tugging open the clasp of the backpack and she already has a nice-sized portion of the armadillo lion's hide stretching out on the table. She runs her hands over the fur to soothe it out, then crosses her arms over her chest so the man can feel it.

It's nice fur. Even if it's not good-quality Polar Beast.

"It's raw." The barman shakes his head as if he's disappointed. "You won't get two bedrooms in the filthiest place for  _this_."

"One bedroom then." Katara replies flatly. Beside her, the firebender stiffens and he looks at her. Then he seems to remember that he's trying to hide his scar - and failing because there's people starting to look at them - and he turns his face away.

"Got anything else?"

"No. Take it or I'll go elsewhere."

The man chuckles, eyebrows rising on his small forehead. "I doubt you'd get a room anywhere with raw pelts." He runs his hands over the fur again. "But it's cut decently and it's a good size. I can get you a bedroom for a night only. Gotta be out by tomorrow evening."

"I suppose that's good enough." The waterbender sighs. "Thank you for your hospitality."

He grunts. His large, beefy hand digs around underneath the bar and he pulls out a single key. Slamming it on the table, he pushes it toward her.

"Don't break the bed."

Katara simpers, eyes bright. "Only the windows and the doors." Sokka showed her how to handle people like this.

Zuko starts coughing uncontrollably. But the man in front of her guffaws.

He removes his hand from the key. Katara takes it, pushes away from the counter. "Which room?"

"Third door on your right." He's stepping away now, another customer - more drunk than he probably should be - is commanding his attention.

She slides the edge of the key around her finger as she heads towards the stairs. When she regards Zuko, she's pleased to see that the other side of his face almost matches his scar in redness.

Apparently, she has embarrassed the little Prince.

A new sway in her hips and a coy smile on her lips, Katara strides up the steps and tries not to sashay too much. Maybe she likes teasing him more than she should.

But she's a waterbender and it's a full moon. The anticipation of the power she's going to have tonight so irresistible that she can feel herself becoming cockier and more arrogant the closer it gets to nighttime.

She's more than ready for the sky to darken. And it's not because she's going to be in a bedroom alone with the firebender breaking any beds or windows.

The room is nothing special. Not that she expected much from the looks of the outside. It's adequate, simple and rustic. A bed that's large enough for two in the corner, a small washbasin, a window - she can't help that her eyes twinkle when she sees it - and a chair.

At least it's clean. Smells a little musty. Like a man had just left and she can't have that.

Wrinkling her nose, she crosses the room to flick the latches and open the window. The dusk breeze blows in, the smell of earth more than welcome in comparison to the musk.

"I'm not sharing a bed with you," the Prince utters distastefully.

Katara peeks over her shoulder at him from where she's leaned up against the wooden wall near the window. He's still standing by the door.

"Looks like you don't have much of a choice. Unless you want to spare that last gold coin of yours to get yourself a new room."

"We have enough pelts to exchange for another."

"Those pelts are going to get us food and supplies. Since  _I'm_  the one that skinned it,  _I'm_  the one that decides what we're going to do with it. And I say we don't waste it just to spare your pride."

"I just think… It'd be best if we did."

Katara snorts. "Oh really?"

"Yes."

"I don't have water peasant germs if that's what you're worried about." She turns from the window to face him fully. Her hands plant on her hips. "And just so we're clear, I'm not exactly  _thrilled_  to be sharing a bed with you either. So you're more than welcome to make a pallet on the floor if it bothers you so much."

"Princes don't sleep on  _floors_." He sneers.

"First time for everything. You might start a new tradition."

Zuko grimaces. She can see the hackles rising on his neck.

"Besides," she interjects before he can start losing his cool right then and there, "I don't plan on getting much sleep tonight. Full moon and everything." A slow, sly grin spreads across her face.

Even though she never gets to sleep on full moon nights, she still loves them. Tomorrow she will be a bit sluggish but she'd take the power surge with the drainage any day. Hopefully, the firebender doesn't know about that.

When his expression doesn't change from the grimace, Katara shrugs her shoulders and takes the bag from his hands.

"I'm going to go see if we can get any supplies while the sun is still somewhat up. You're welcome to stay and sulk in the room if you wish," she calls over her shoulder as she closes the door behind her.

The tavern below is getting busier. The men are louder, the women less dressed. Katara keeps her head up as she weaves through the growing crowd. Her first instinct is to look down and avoid eye-contact, but when it comes to these types… Sokka had always told her looking up will attract far less attention.

If she looks down, she's prey.

With a broad piece of pelt, she's able to get them a few real hunting knives - she'll need to sharpen them because they're rather dull - and a tent for when the nights get cooler, more rope, a small canteen and a skillet.

She smiles and bats her eyes as the merchant tries to sell her more things. The playfulness gets her a worn leather belt. It's used, old but it fits around her waist and she thanks him anyway. She bundles the newfound items in the backpack and latches the skillet onto the outside.

Katara nibbles on a piece of fruit that was in the pack as she meanders back to the inn. She's not in a hurry. The firebender has been grating her nerves down to nubs ever since they got off the ship. It's bad enough that she can't get her own room, now she is going to have to share one with him.

Even if it is just for a night, it still makes her fists clench at her side. Zuko - he is a piece of work. Acting all… _annoying_. The trip back to the Northern Tribe can't be quick enough.

The inn's door is in front of her far too soon. Like before, she keeps her head high and the pack close to her back. She slides and slips through everyone easily. It's a bit busier than before, even. When the sun goes down it seems that everyone flocks to the nearest tavern.

She feels a hand brush against her backside, but the weight of the pack doesn't change and touches like that don't  _really_  startle her anymore. The waterbender tenses but she keeps moving - it was probably an accident, anyway. Smells of ale and firewhiskey are strong in the air, as well as the stench of working men.

No one stops her when she goes up the stairs. She's a predator, tight shoulders and eyes that are far too perceptive to be fooled. Katara tries to ignore the clamors of heartbeats that pound in her senses.

They're too excited. And she's too strong to  _not_  hear them.

It's sad to believe but the room with the sole firebender is a sanctuary when she goes in. The door slams and rattles when she closes it. Zuko, alarmed, lurches up from where he is on the bed.

It looks like he's prepared for a fight. Katara chokes down a laugh and holds up her hands in mock surrender. The pack slips down from her back and lands on the floor with a heavy thud. Seeing that it's just her, the firebender huffs and sits back down.

"Hope I didn't wake you," she teases. Katara picks up the sack and tosses it onto the bed.

Zuko scoffs. He turns so that his back is to her.

She cocks an eyebrow but doesn't speak. Just stares at him lying on the bed. Blinking, she realizes that she's been watching him for far too long. She reddens and looks away.

The window is still open so she crosses the room to throw the eaten fruit outside. Leaning against it, she watches as the streets start to clear now that it's almost dark.  _Full moon._  Her eyes flick up to the sky. It's almost time.

Grinning, she closes her eyes and rests her head against the window frame. It's not even that she wants to show Zuko how powerful she can be - Katara is just so damn  _anxious_  for that rush of power that she can't  _stand_  it. Her palms are itching like crazy. Her heart is thumping. Her blood is running wild.

She's just  _ready_. More than ready. It's similar to how she felt that night that Ji attacked her. When she had been out in the hall before Lee stopped her. She just wants the full moon to replace everything Zhao had stolen from her. She  _needs_ it.

The grin disappears when the cacophony of heartbeats from down below overwhelm her. Maybe deciding to throw off Zuko by coming to a village was a bad idea. Staying in a tavern inn was  _certainly_  one.

So loud are the heartbeats downstairs that she doesn't even register the one directly behind her.

A startled gasp escapes her when a heated hand grabs at her right wrist. She barely has time to smash her elbow into his chest -  _Zuko grunts_  - and then he snatches that one, jerking them together behind her back with her palms facing each other.

Katara wriggles - she can't bend with her hands where they are - and he gnashes his teeth as she stomps on his feet and tries to buck him away. Her hips collide against his and she manages to push him away for a fraction of a second before he's yanking at her again.

She elbows, kicks, grits,  _pushes_  but he's a lot stronger than she is and she can't get her hands or feet free enough to waterbend him away.

Her elbow buries into his stomach and she pushes it up, smacking it against his chin when he finally catches it again. The heated grip is tight around her thin wrists and she can feel him squeezing so tightly that she's sure bones are popping.

The heat leaves and something cold and hard is clasped around her wrists. Katara shoves her foot into his kneecap, spins around so that she can snarl at him. He surges forward - one hot hand covering her mouth and the other pushing her chest back so that she's teetering against the open window.

The only thing stopping her from falling out of it is her legs. Her back is meeting nothing but air.

"I know what you're trying to do." He growls, eyes narrow and irritated. Zuko pushes against her more. Her hair falls completely backwards, abs straining to hold herself up as much as possible.

She's starting to shake. Her eyes are wide and she's trying to keep her breathing calm. If she can just get a leg up -

He slaps her knee down when he feels the movement. Smoke streams when he breathes out. His hands are getting warmer.

"I'm  _not_  an idiot. You're trying to get me off course."

Katara's hands are buried between the wall underneath the window and her lower back. The manacles are cold -  _metal_  - biting into her skin and it hurts.

But all she can think about is the fact that she's being pushed out of a window.

"You can try and imagine that we're some sort of  _allies_  all you want but we're  _not_. I'm still going to get you to the Fire Nation and you're still going to tell us where the Avatar is."

Her eyes are so cold they could cut glass. The blood in her veins starts to freeze. Does he think that  _she_  is the deluded one? That she needs to be reminded of this?

"Just because we fought together and haven't killed each other doesn't mean that I've forgotten what I need to do. I  _will_  take you to the Fire Lord."

Katara snaps at his hand with her teeth. She bites him,  _hard_  and he hisses, jerking his hand free of her mouth.

"You don't think I know that?" Katara snarls. "Do you think I'm some foolish little girl? Because I'm  _not_. But maybe you should be a bit more appreciative - I've saved your ass."

"I could have been cruel to you when you were my prisoner but I  _wasn't_. I had  _every right_  to do what Zhao did and more." Zuko presses against her. Katara dips even further outside the window. "But I  _didn't_. Maybe it's  _you_  who should be more appreciative."

"It's not my fault that you didn't seize the opportunity."

He gnashes his teeth together. Katara teeters further and her heart starts leaping into her throat. She tries to keep the fear out of her eyes as her body rocks in open air, the wood molding of the window digging into the back of her knees. She tries but she thinks she's failing.

It hurts. But she isn't going to let him know that.

Zuko clenches his hands around her arms. "Are you telling me that I should have done those things? That I  _should_  have been brutal and sadistic?"

"I'm only telling you that it's not my fault if you didn't seize the opportunity. Not that it would have helped. I wouldn't have said  _anything_  to you."

Something dark creeps into his eyes. A sinister smile that she hasn't seen before sends a chill down her spine. The firebender tilts his head down a bit, meeting her stare fully and his hair falls into his eyes.

"I'm sure we could have worked  _something_  out."

Katara gulps. " _No_. No we couldn't have."

"Are you sure?" He tilts his head a little to the side. "I can be  _very_  persuasive."

"You're about to push me out of a window. I'm sure this is about as persuasive as you can be." Katara tugs on the metal clamps. They're too strong to break but her fingers are free even though her hands are close together. If she tries… she  _might_  be able to…

The hand on her chest presses further. Her body trembles - stomach sore from holding herself up and she can feel herself start to fall as her legs begin to slip, feet sliding on the floor.

Zuko slips his other hand underneath her back. He's supporting her just enough to make sure that she doesn't fall over the edge. But it's not enough to stop the burning in her stomach and the quiver in her body.

He's arching over her now - both of them are hanging outside the window and it's getting so dark that she wonders if anyone who happens to pass by can see them.

She's breathing. The breaths are short and shallow but it's regular. Zuko's is hot - too warm on her face and neck. She wonders if the trembles she feels are just from exertion. Then she scolds herself because  _of course_  they are.

"That's only because you don't know me." His voice is lava. Warm, slick and smooth. The hand on her chest slides up to her throat. He wraps his fingers around it, squeezing just enough to give her a low warning but not enough to cut off her air.

Katara glares at him. "I don't  _want_  to know you."

"I can kill you right now."

"I know." Katara swallows. "But you won't."

The firebender stares her down for a few more minutes. Eyes locked in a battle that neither is willing to give up, he is the first to break. Smoke exhales from his lips as he stands back up. The hand at her back pulls her up with him, and she sighs in relief now that she's not straining.

He's still too close though.  _Way_  too close. Her spine stiffens and she wants him to back away. The waterbender refuses to move. He's the one who has her backed up against a window -  _he's_  the one who should move.

"How is  _this_  for cruel: I'm going to leave you here, hands shackled behind your back in a corner. The window will be open, you'll be able to see your full moon but you won't feel it on you. You won't be able to bend or anything. Just sit, wide awake, while I watch you squirm."

" _You_  - " She's cut off by him grabbing onto her elbow. He hauls her around him, flinging her into a corner where she collides against the wall. She grunts, hisses at the way her hands are pushed into her back.

When he walks towards her, she  _growls_.

"Get away from me."

Zuko is a few feet away when she attacks. The manacles - they're not made for benders - if she can  _just -_

Katara kicks, water from her water skin bursting out and she twists her fingers so that it comes directly towards her. It covers the chain in between the manacles and she freezes it before she  _rips_  her hands apart.

It hurts, and there's a sharp, blinding pain for a second just before the metal gives. And then her hands are free. The metal is still wrapped around her wrists but the short chain is broken.

Zuko sends a flaming arc towards her and Katara ducks to the side. The water that covers her hands blocks the flames that come too close to her face.

Katara twists and the water flies off her hands as it turns to ice. The spinning wheel of iced water collides with the firebender's chest, pushing him far back where he lands on the floor near the back wall.

She keeps going while he's down. She twists and turns, pressing -  _slamming_ forward - forcing the ice into a solid brick with a few flicks of her fingers - and keeps pushing forward and up. She has it pressed against his chest, the force of the ice block pressing him up against the wood.

He grimaces. Katara keeps twisting. Hard, solid movements that bury the ice across his chest and pins him against the wall.

The moon starts to fuel her. Her legs stretch and her blood helps her put force into her attack. After he nearly pushed her out of the window -  _spoke to her like he did_  - making him hurt feels better than it should.

Katara's hands and arms snap up and the ice at his chest forces itself up into his chin.

It's just the right hit that knocks him unconscious.

The firebender's eyes screw shut. His head lolls back then falls to the side before his body sinks to the ground in a heap.

She tries to sharpen her focus to on his heartbeat alone. It's weak, light. He's gone.

Katara unfreezes the solid block of ice and bends it back into the waterskin. The loose, short chains around her wrist clang against her forearms.

The waterbender huffs, glancing down at the manacles on her wrists. How is she supposed to get  _these_  off? She checks for a lock around the side but can't find any. Great. Now she's stuck with them on until the firebender wakes.

She smirks. She  _could_  wake him now…

A quick glance out the window tells her that the sun has gone completely down now. A huge smile on her face, she races over to the window and leans outside. The full moon is bright and beautiful - she beams as much as she does as she looks up at it.

 _Power_. She feels strong, vigorous. Somewhere deep inside she can feel her energy stores being filled again. Stores that had vanished under Zhao's burns. She's renewed.

That means…

Katara wheels around to the Prince. He mumbles something but he's till out cold.

Her fingers and hands start to stretch, twisting and she tugs on the blood in his veins. It's a little difficult at first - the echoes of all the other heartbeats downstairs make her have to focus  _harder_  on Zuko's.

But she does it. Rotating her wrists and bending her fingers, Katara tugs on the invisible strings around Zuko's body and it happens - his chests arches upwards and he rises. She reels him in, pushes him a bit to the left and then drops him. Zuko falls against the bed, head hitting the wooden headboard.

She grabs the rope from the backpack and unravels it. After a few moments and a few solid, reassuring tugs, she ties the Prince's hands above his head with his palms clasped together. They're attached to the headboard, woven through it and it's one of her better knots.

Being from the Southern Tribe and living on a ship for years has it's advantages.

Katara pulls the ice from the waterskin and cools it down so that it's almost freezing but isn't solid. Then she splashes it on Zuko's face, pulls it back in and then drenches him once more.

The water is tight around her waist as he sputters, choking on his own air as his eyes fly open in surprise.

"My, how the tables have turned." Katara taunts him. Her hands are on her hips and she is  _gloating_.

The firebender that's being teased glowers in return.

"What do you think  _Prince_? Am I as persuasive as you?"

"You  _will_  let me go."

"That sounds like a command." She leans forward just slightly. "I don't respond to pathetic commands."

Zuko's about to kick at her and she snaps her hands back up. Her hands and fingers reach and brush against his blood before she gets a good grip on it. He freezes instantly.

"Wh-What are you doing to me?" He whispers. His eyes widen as he fights against her. Katara grits her teeth and tightens her grip on him. He's pinned to the bed by the rope and her bending.

"You should have  _never_  tried to take me prisoner again."

"Waterbender -"

" _That is not my name!_ " She hisses. Katara squeezes too tightly and the firebender arches forward. He's being tugged up and down at the same time and he bites his lip against the scream that she can feel building in his chest.

She lets go a little.

Her eyes close and she takes in a deep breath. On the bed, Zuko's eyes are wider and she can feel his heart start to race. Panic. It feels delicious.

"You're…  _inside_  me."

"I'm in your blood." Katara waves her fingers and he's forced into an upright position. It's uncomfortable. The way that she tied his hands means that he can't sit up too far. But it proves her point and she waves them again, letting him lie back down.

The firebender swallows.

"I could kill you right now. I could be  _cruel_  and  _sadistic_  like Zhao - like  _you_. But I won't because I'm not a monster." Katara can feel her blood start to freeze.  _She needs to regain control._

"You're in my blood. You're  _controlling_ me."

"Let's get one thing straight here, firebender. You're  _my_  prisoner now. This isn't your ship. This isn't your nation. This isn't your  _anything_.  _I'm_ the one in charge here.  _Me_  - not you. I'm the jailer now and it'd be best for you to accept that right now."

He breathes out smoke. His body tenses. "And if I don't?"

Katara lets a smile that looks like the one he had given her earlier slide across her lips with the ease of water. "I'll force you all the way to the Tribe." She tugs on the strings and he snaps up again. He hisses at the pain in his shoulders. Katara pushes him back down into the mattress.

There's so much force behind it that his head bangs against the headboard.

"Do I make myself clear?" She asks. Katara twists her wrist again and his body tightens. Just to prove a point, of course. It's not just because seeing him grimace in pain makes her feel exhilarated.  _But it does._ "Where did you get the cuffs?"

She isn't even sure if he's going to bother replying, but after a moment of waiting, he does. "Bought them with the last coin. You shouldn't leave prisoners alone."

Katara rolls her eyes. "Money well spent."

Zuko's jaw is taunt. He's grunting, tugging at the ropes over his head but they're not giving. She sees a spark of fire and she grips at him tighter to prevent him from firebending. He struggles but she's the stronger one this time.

"Don't try to firebend. It's only going to be painful."

Watching him carefully, Katara eases her grip back. The strings that connect her to him blood drop from her fingers. He relaxes somewhat but he's still tense.

The waterbender doesn't turn away when she goes to stand by the window. The moon's light bathes against her skin. She relaxes against the window molding, arms crossed over her chest.

Zuko doesn't try to firebend.

"You'll regret this," he spits out.

Katara quirks an eyebrow. "Don't be a sore loser, firebender."

"You're crazy."

"You attacked me first."

"You're a  _witch._ "

That makes her tense up. Katara looks away from the moon to fix him with a strong glare. "Come up with better insults. I've heard that one before." She turns her attention back to the empty streets. "I've heard them all before," she adds quietly.

He snaps his lips together. She can hear his heartbeat. It's a pounding, hard beat that feels and sounds like one of those loud earthquakes earthbenders make. She focuses on it. If he starts firebending, she'll need to know  _before_  he starts trying to burn her.

It stays steady. That same violent beat that should shatter his bones.

"You picked the wrong night." She can't resist. She  _has_  to rub her victory in. It's probably one of the things that she shouldn't do, but he had been so arrogant and condescending.

Maybe this will knock him down a few notches. Then he might be somewhat agreeable.

The waterbender stays awake that night. The full moon keeps her fully energized and she can't imagine closing her eyes for a moment. Zuko keeps his eyes open for as long as he can. But she can tell that her bending made him tired and he lolls off to sleep an hour or two past midnight.

Katara keeps herself entertained by playing with the water wrapped around her waist. She eventually tries to slice through the manacles around her wrists and it works. She's freed and the metal clangs when it lands on the floor.

After getting bored with that, she reaches out to hear the sluggish heartbeats of the drunks downstairs. She contemplates joining them, but she's not going to leave the firebender without a minder.

So she stays propped up on the window with the water streaming around her hands. Katara does a little target practice for a bit. Aiming and hitting targets that get further and further away entertain her for a bit.

It's weird. Having a full moon and not being able to  _do_  anything.

She's used to battles during the full moon. Battles or spars on the deck of ships. Pakku, Hama and Sangok - after a bit of coaxing - were the only ones who ever sparred against her. The majority of Northern benders didn't care for her southern-heavy style. Or the fact that she was a woman.

The North had the blessing of having more than enough men warriors and female healers that they didn't have to interchange. The South didn't have that luxury. Hama and Katara were the last two free southern benders.

Both practiced the two bending arts. And… the third unofficial bending art.

She almost wakes Zuko up for a bit of fighting. That... might get out of hand and she'd rather not deal with blows meant to kill.

She's not sure if he is going to hold back when they  _do_  have to leave. Katara sighs and bends the water back into the waterskin. She watches the sun come up with her arms crossed over her chest.

The night had been so long and dull that she's almost  _happy_  when the firebender stirs.

But then his eyes open. They're bleary at first. When they skirt over her though, the ambers turn into coal and narrow as he fixes her with a heated glare.

Great. She's going to really have to watch her back now.

With a cheerful smile, she straightens from the windowsill and goes around the bed. Zuko watches her. His heartbeat is steadier than it was yesterday. Her fingers reach out - she doesn't miss the way he winces - and she brushes them over the knots in the rope.

"Are you going to be  _good_  today, firebender?" She keeps her voice soft. It'll drive him crazy. She just  _knows._

Sure enough, the frown dips into a scowl and all of the hostility of yesterday returns.  _Fun_. She smiles.

"Remember my warnings." She moves one hand in front of his face to repeat the familiar gestures. Zuko tenses, but she doesn't pull at him. Not yet.

He glares at her. She can just imagine the fire daggers piercing her skin but they don't hurt. They make her grin grow because she's  _winning_. She's getting to him. She's doing it far more quickly and far better than he is to her.

After a few moments, the firebender gives a jerky nod. Katara's fingers slip through the knots easily and they're off. She coils the rope back up before pushing it into the bag.

He's standing quicker than she expected. Katara can tell his arms are sore and the bags under his eyes are dark. Good - she's weak today and he is exhausted. Looks like neither one of them will be making any death movements today.

"Now that you know where we stand, I guess we can go back to the river." Katara makes sure all of their things are in the bag. They don't have much. But it's enough to miss something if it's lost. "And we're going  _my_  way."

-/-


	13. Chapter 13

The bartender from last night must have liked her. When she tells him they're leaving, he slides her a small flask of what looks like liquor across the table and winks. She picks it up, uncapping it before taking a whiff.  _Firewhiskey._

"Hope you didn't mess up any windows," he teases. He's happy - customers from last night must have tipped. She knows they certainly drank well.

Katara flashes him a grin. "Oh, you can't even imagine  _what_  we did to that window."

Just like yesterday, he barks out a laugh. The firebender behind her stiffens, crossing his arms over his chest.

She tucks the flask into her backpack. She's never tried firewhiskey - she was always fine with the ales and the beers of the Tribes - but it might be nice when she gets back on the ship. She'll save it for a little  _celebration party_.

The waterbender leads the way out. Zuko keeps close though, and she notices that he's walking with his head tilted to the side again. She furrows her brow. Is he trying to hide his scar? Didn't he notice how that did not work yesterday?

Katara slows, lets him slide up beside her. "When you try to hide you just bring further attention to yourself. Just walk - not like you own the world or anything - but like you just don't care."

She realizes that sounds like advice. So with a sneer, she adds, "Didn't they teach you  _anything_  in that damned castle?"

He scowls.  _There_. Now she feels a bit better.

She's aware that Zuko walks with his head up when they make it to the streets outside of the inn.

Katara leads them the way they came yesterday. This trip might have taken them off course but it did help. Not only did they have supplies -  _soap_ , thank Spirits - but Zuko finally understands that the roles are reversed here.

There are no more questions.

He has also proven to her that he isn't giving up either. He is just as eager to get her to the Fire Nation as she is to get him to the Water Tribes.

The bloodbending will set him back though. He flinches when she moves her hands. For some reason, the smirk isn't as big as the one she had last night when he did the same.

Neither one of them lead the way through the miles of forest back to the river. They walk side-by-side. Katara would lead - she'd  _rather_  lead - but she doesn't trust the firebender to stay behind her. Even if she can feel his heartbeat.

She assumes Zuko feels the same. He stays close enough and he glances over at her out of the corners of his eyes when he thinks she's not paying attention.

She wonders if he's aware that she does the same every few feet.

They rest for a brief moment when it's noon. Katara nibbles at some jerky and Zuko eats fruit in silence. The waterbender has never found trees so interesting before. She signals that they're about to leave by standing, slinging the backpack on and walking away from where they sat.

Katara thinks they more than made up for yesterday's detour when they finally make a camp. Her legs are jelly and the firebender winces as he collapses on the ground. She doesn't even bother to smirk at that though, because she knows that the grimace on her face is more than enough to match his as she slides on top of the bedroll.

She eats a mango while her eyes start to close. Zuko is staring up at the sky when she risks a glance at him. They don't even start a fire. They're just so...exhausted.

The firebender watches her warily as she forces herself up to climb a tree. She notices with some amusement that after a few moments, he starts to do the same. There's a good bit of distance between them but she can still make out his shape in the dark because of the moon.

Katara straps herself down on the tree, muscles aching and legs slack and she isn't as high as she'd like but this will have to do.

She forces herself to stay awake until Zuko's heart starts to slow into a dull, sleeping rhythm.

Katara dreams of more red. Except this time, the blood that she feels in her hands is cold and sticky.

She wakes up feeling horrified.

-/-

"What you did to me night before last," his voice makes her jump. She almost walks right into a tree. "I… I've never seen - or  _heard_  - of anyone doing it before." The glance he gives her is wary. As if she's going to demonstrate the technique again.

They managed to start out just as dawn broke. Zuko and she had both been silent as they packed up their things and started walking. They didn't even speak at lunch. His shoulders were still tense, eyes still flickering over to watch hers when he thought she wasn't looking at him.

So she's surprised when it's  _him_  that starts the conversation. Even if it is something that she isn't sure she'd like to talk about with him.

She shrugs her shoulders like it's no big deal. "Doesn't surprise me. I don't know many who can do it."

Adding that only she and one other waterbender knows how to bloodbend doesn't seem smart right now. So she holds that part back.

A beat. His throat moves when he gulps. "Have you used it before?"

Katara turns her head to look at him. When he realizes that she's staring at him, he meets her eyes. Curiosity, some fear… hesitation and intrigue.  _Interesting_.

"I have," she says honestly. Anger flashes in his eyes. "But I wasn't able to on the ship." She can't help it - something about that anger and hostility makes her want to clear that part up.

Why she's trying to soothe him, she doesn't know.

The anger leaves his eyes completely and he almost looks relieved. Wondering why he even asked, Katara asks, "Why?"

"Ji." He replies without hesitation. "I didn't know."

 _Red_. Katara blinks. "No. I, uh, didn't bloodbend Ji." She just used his blood to suffocate the other guard. That - just like the information about how many bloodbenders there are - is definitely  _not_  something she's going to tell him.

"Why not?"

"I wasn't strong enough then. I was still weak bending wise." Katara puts her hand on a tree to steady herself when she walks over a large and slipper log. "It's...complicated."

"It's not right." Zuko is tensing up again. "Taking over someone's body. It's just -"

"So is burning someone to the point where they could be served for dinner," she interrupts. "Don't try to give me a morality lesson. You firebenders are no better."

"So you admit that  _bloodbending_  is wrong?"

Now she's the one who pauses. "It's a gift just like any other kind of bending. If we're going by that, shouldn't all bending be wrong?"

"But you're taking over someone's body. You're...inside them. There's no free will, no control."

"I think it's the same as torturing someone with bending to get them to talk." She gives him a pointed glare. "How is what I do any different?"

The firebender clenches his jaw. "It just  _is_."

"No. It's not."

Two miles later and the silence is thick again. Except this time, there's some added tension.

She tries not to feel angry. Really, she does. And after they walk a while, that anger ebbs away into simple annoyance. She's had problems understanding bloodbending herself with all of the Northerners' disapproval. She  _certainly_  doesn't need the firebender's, too.

Is it really so different? Bloodbending - it's like normal bending. Just...more personal? She is far more aware of those around her because of it - and sometimes it drives her crazy - but really it's the same as her waterbending.

_Right?_

Hama believed that easily. Then again, she had a reason to believe in it. It helped her defeat Fire Nation Raiders when they began their aggressive campaigns to conquer the Southern Tribes. Katara had gotten out of a few sticky situations but it never came down to life-or-death.

No. Katara stops herself right there. It was  _always_  life or death when it came to the Fire Nation. Pakku, someone who didn't approve entirely of bloodbending, admitted that it had it's uses.

"It's monstrous, you know," Zuko interrupts her thoughts. She almost doesn't know what he's talking about. They've been walking in the quiet for nearly an hour.

Monstrous. She stiffens. Katara's heard it all before but hearing it from  _him_ is different.

How  _dare_ he.  _How dare he!_ This firebender - a man who held her  _prisoner_ , who had narrowly avoided pushing her out the window just the night before - has the audacity to call  _her_  a monster. It just -

"You don't know anything," she snarls, "so don't pretend that you do. I'm no more  _monstrous_  than you firebenders. Or are you really ignorant about what you precious soldiers do?"

He opens his mouth to reply but she's not having that.

"No, you know what? It's not even just that. What's  _monstrous_ isn't my bloodbending -  _monstrous_  is your raiders burning huts down with innocent children still inside.  _Monstrous_ is when you have to watch as defenseless nonbenders are boiled alive in front of their family just because they're not Fire Nation.

" _Monstrous_ is dragging benders away and locking them in your floating prisons where they're never seen or heard from again.  _Monstrous_  is what your kind did to the Air Nomads. Your people have single-handedly obliterated one  _entire_  race, decimated another and are quickly working on making sure there are no earthbenders left. So don't talk to me about being monstrous because I do what it takes to survive in the world that  _your kind_  created. Don't you  _dare._ "

Her face is red. They've stopped. Blood crazy and hear pounding, it takes her a second to feel her finger bury itself in his chest.

He's looking at her. Face blank.

The waterbender sneers. "I can take my own kind calling me a monster. But you have  _no right_. No damned right." She pushes her entire hand against his chest, forcing him away from her. "Call me that again and I'll show you how monstrous I can be."

"You think I'm ignorant of what my kind has done?" Zuko's eyes flash with anger and he's pushing on  _her_  chest now. "I'm  _very_  well aware. But are  _you_  aware of your own? You try to tell me that  _I_ don't know about what's going on but I think it's  _you_  who's blind."

Katara knocks his hands away and pushes him back. Anger chokes her. It has a grip on her throat and she can feel her blood freeze. Eyes cold, she wishes the full moon was back so she could make him  _kneel_.

"You may  _know_  but you've never seen it. You've never  _felt_ it. I'd like to see  _you_  on the other side of what your so-called Fire Lord calls  _fair_  and  _just_  and  _natural_. If we're going to talk about monstrous and unnatural things - let's talk about  _your sins_  even though you're so focused on  _mine_."

He reddens.  _Fury._  "You - You are an idiotic  _girl_  if you think that you're so innocent! The Fire Nation has their faults but don't act as if your resistance is any better!"

"Well then I'll be sure to tell them! I'm sure they'd be  _thrilled_  to hear what the Fire Nation Prince has to say about them!"

His hands flame. Katara starts to tug at the water in her waterskin. If he attacks, she'll be prepared.

"What about the attacks on the colonies? Your warriors don't even try to differentiate between Fire Nation and Earth Kingdom. You just  _attack_  blindly!"

"People die in wars. It's the only thing you can count on! What about when the firebenders burned down the forest on Whale Tail Island? More than half of those people starved to death as punishment for not paying their taxes!"

"They weren't just  _not paying taxes_  - they were harboring Fire Nation enemies!"

"They were  _earthbenders_  who were so old they couldn't  _do_  anything! Is your kind really so weak and insecure that they have to round up benders of all age just to feel  _safe_?"

"It doesn't matter how old they were. The benders were masters and the islanders broke the law. Without law, there can be no order." He swallows. "What about when your resistance slaughtered nearly ever firebender in Makapau? Men, women  _and_  children. All  _dead._ "

Katara sneers. "Enemy casualties are expected." She doesn't mention that she refused to speak to her father for weeks after hearing of the slaughter. Hakoda hadn't been the one who organized it but he sure hadn't tried to stop it.

"What about the earthbenders who died on the Northerner's raid of Lao Ping island?"

"What about the massacre of Full Moon Bay?"

"Jang Hui Island?"

"Huang Sha?"

" _Just face it_ \- the Fire Nation isn't innocent but neither is your resistance."

The waterbender who has a heated hand shoving into her chest growls. "Maybe so. But we haven't tried to wipe out entire nations of people."

" _Enemy casualties are expected._ " He throws her words back in her face with a false smile.

Her palms itch. Her blood is heavy with ice.

"You're not even worth the reply." Katara lips curl up and she pivots away, stalking through the forest to get away from him before she does something that she'll regret later. Specifically, something involving freezing his entire body until he turns blue.

Strong fingers wrap around her arm and she's yanked back. "I'm the  _Prince_  of the  _Fire Nation._ "

Her fingers tug at the water in the skin and she slaps him across the face with a water-frozen hand. The blow is solid - enough to snap his head to the side but he doesn't let go. His hands flames - bright searing pain lacing through her frozen blood and she screams.

Zuko doesn't let go. If anything, he squeezes tighter. He's glaring at her now - one side of his face red from her cold slap and his lips twisted into a sneer.

Katara's blood pulses, racing to heal the arm that he's burning. She panics - she doesn't have enough time or energy to fight him off he keeps boiling her like that - and it hurts  _so much_  that if he doesn't -

\- Zuko lets go. When he shoves her away from him, her back collides with a tree.

Before he can make another move, she launches a water whip into his chest. But the firebender blocks it with a fire whip and suddenly they're battling.

Ice discs, fire balls. Water whips and flaming punches.

She cuts through his high arcs and he punches through her water snaps. Zuko will try to burn her with multiple fire darts that she blocks with a wave of her hand. She careens ice icicles at his chest that he obliterates with a flaming thrust of his heel.

They're getting nowhere.

But Katara is tiring. She's weak from healing her arm and from bloodbending the night before. Zuko is strong and the sun is his. Her moon is gone.

She rises with the moon, but he rises with the sun.

Katara manages to suck up more water from weeds around her but it's not enough to completely block all of Zuko's sweeping fire kick.

The heat of the fire forces her to shy away instinctively -  _fire burns_  - the shield ignored and dropping just in time to ignite the branches above her.

Panic - she  _can't stop it_  - and she tries to move the water back to her as quickly as possible to douse the flames -

\- the firebender launches another flaming arc - smoke burns in the air and the tree is crackling over her head but she has to block Zuko's attack or she  _will_  die. Her focus and energy is divided and she doesn't have enough water to -

The branch snaps. Katara's eyes fly open as she lunges forward, rolls on the ground and her stomach and forehead crash against a stout tree trunk. All of her breath is pushed out of her at once and she starts to feel a little dizzy.

But there's no more fire.

The branch lands right where she had stood not two seconds ago.

Zuko seems to realize how  _close_  he had been to killing her - burning her and crushing her underneath ignited branches - because he doesn't try to attack her here where she's most vulnerable.

She can't say she'd do the same if the situations were reversed. And that makes her angry. The firebender - he  _hates_  her. He shouldn't let her just lie here so that she can catch her breath and attack him again.

Head aching, she rolls over onto her back. She stares up at the branches - not burning - above her. Her stomach pounds in time with her head, both keeping rhythm with her heart.

Why isn't he attacking her? She's dazed - stomach twisting - and she's tired. So tired. Bending after a full moon is normally...very unpleasant. She can feel blood slip down her face from her nose but she can't bother herself to lift a hand and wipe it away.

Katara waits, only vaguely aware of how steady his heart is beating in comparison to her own. Her's is anticipating an attack. His isn't preparing for one.

_Why isn't he attacking her?_

Hot hands grab at her arms again and he hauls her up. Legs, weak and unable to find purchase on the ground, swing aimlessly as her eyes slide close from vertigo. Zuko pushes her up against the tree - with more force than necessary - and she can't hide her hiss when her head hits the bark.

Her feet finally touch the ground but she can barely hold herself up. She's so dizzy and tired and her head hurts and her arms burn from where he's holding her body to the tree that she can barely stand.

The firebender grasps her wrists and turns them against the tree. He's making sure that she won't try to bend him.

He doesn't know that she couldn't bloodbend right now even if she tried. Not unless she wanted to pass out after a few short seconds.

"Don't  _ever_  try to place yourself above me,  _peasant_."

"Funny how that offends you more than anything else." Katara tries to shift. Zuko presses against her harder. "Issues much? Concerns about your  _place_  in your little palace?"

His face reddens. She can't help but grin because she's just discovered one of Zuko's insecurities. How will she exploit  _that_?

Katara doesn't try to move again. "I hear that you have a sister. A firebending prodigy, so I've been told. Scared that your dad might like her more than you?"

" _Be careful, waterbender_ ," he hisses. The hands wrapped around her wrist grow hot but she tries to ignore it.

She wants to break him. Anger him. Make him lose control.

It's not the smartest thing she's ever wanted to do. But she  _wants_  it - needs it to justify everything that she can and will do. The bloodbender in her has always reveled in a little bit of power struggle. And this conversation right here is nothing but that.

"I wonder why he sent  _you_  on this grand mission to capture the Avatar when she would probably be able to actually succeed where you've failed."  _Wait._  "That's it, isn't it? He  _wants_  you to fail."

Zuko growls. Her wrists burn. But she can't heal herself - she's too weak - so she tries to block out the pain because she can  _feel_  him slipping. If she doesn't push him now, she might not be able to again.

So she laughs instead of cries from the pain. "I wonder why that is,  _Prince_. I wonder why he wants you to fail just like Lu Ten did in Ba Sing Se. Think your fates will be the same?"

She's still laughing - a sadistic edge to it as the flames on her wrists burn bright orange - and Zuko finally breaks. She feels it in his heart before she feels it on her skin.

There's a heated flash of agony - heat searing up her entire body through her veins and the laugh chokes into a gasp before her eyes burn and her vision turns orange.  _Pain._ Orange. Everything is burning.

Black slams away the orange. The heat recedes.

Her eyes are closed and she sags against the tree. The last thing she feels isn't pain - it's his warm fingers around her wrists.

-/-

Something is tugging at her body and that's what jolts her awake.

At first, she keeps her eyes closed. The black fades into grey, edging into paler territory before bursting into white. Then it fades back into darkness and there's a low throb in the back of her head.

Her wrists ache. Her mouth is dry. She's weak.

Slowly, she peels open her eyes and at first she wonders if she's gone blind because all she can see is more darkness. Then her sight starts to focus and adapts and she sees a bit of orange and yellow glow somewhere to her left.

It's nighttime. The moon's pull has woken her up.

There's a heartbeat over near the fire and she can feel the warmth on the bare skin of her arm. She shifts. The scratchy blanket underneath her doesn't feel good.

Katara turns her head to look at the fire. She knows Zuko had to lay her down on the blanket, otherwise how else would she have moved from the tree to here? But that doesn't explain  _why_  he would do something like that.

The firebender in question is sitting on the opposite side of the fire. He's staring at the flames - orange and red like his fire - and her movement makes those eyes flick to hers.

He tenses. Waiting for her backlash of fury at not only being pushed to the point of exhaustion, but also at having been touched by him.

But she doesn't feel angry. She just feels confused. He stares at her with tension in his shoulders for a few more moments before realizing that she isn't going to attack him and then he relaxes. A little.

The moon is in her veins and she probably could bend right now. Doing that, though, will set him off and she wants to know  _why_. She needs him relaxed and vulnerable for that.

Katara sits up, palms against the blanket so that she can get some support underneath her shaking body. It takes her a few moments and when she's up she's out of breath.

She brings her hands back around into her lap and that's when she notices it. The shackles are gone. Replacing those are strips of black fabric wrapped around her wrists.

Her body tenses. He had tried to heal her?

"I almost killed you.  _Again_." Zuko says. Her head snaps up from her wrists to look at him. He's staring at the fire again. His shoulders are heavy.

"I goaded you." Katara can't stop herself. He looks regretful - the shadows under his eyes are not from the fire. For some reason, she wants to tell this man that she hates that it wasn't his fault. Well, that it wasn't  _completely_  his fault.

"I'm not Zhao."

"I know you're not."

"But I keep trying to kill you." He rubs his hands through his hair. He still hasn't looked back up at her. "I keep trying to  _hurt_  you."

"I'm doing the same. Yet I don't feel guilty about it."  _Lie_. "So why should you? We're enemies and in a war, firebender. It's expected."

That catches his attention.

"Never try to apologize to me." Katara moves so that she is sitting with the fire warming her chest instead of her side. It also helps her look at him. "Because I will  _never_  apologize to you."

Zuko's eyes go blank. That regret she had seen earlier is gone, replaced by something that is as cold as her ice darts. He stands and stalks away from her, disappearing into the forest.

Watching him go hurts her for some reason - he's right, all they've been trying to do is kill each other. But  _she's_  right in that's what they're supposed to be doing. Both of them have tried numerous times to establish that they are  _not_  in any way allies.

They are enemies. And she thought that their numerous battles and bickering would have solidified that. She believed that his hatred of her and her bloodbending would further prove that they are not - and never will be - friends in this.

Because they are at war. She hates his kind. She hates his fire. She hates his destruction. She hates his rage. His temper. His bloodline. She hates  _him_.

It's just like how he hates  _her_  kind. He hates  _her_  water and ice, her destruction and her temper. How she goads him into boiling her until she slips into unconsciousness.

Hatred is the only thing that they should be feeling for each other. Yet, Katara can't help but feel that some part of her is softening and that worries her.

She's tried to appease his sense of guilt far too many times. That's not something she normally does to someone that she hates.

She brings her knees up to her chest and buries her fingers in her loosening hair. This -  _all_  of this - is too complicated. She should have left him on that ship.

None of it makes sense. And she doesn't know  _why_.

Fire and water do not mix. Her moon will never be in the sky with his sun. Their kinds don't mix. They never will. Hatred will always be between them and that used to be the only ground she could stand on.

But now that ground is shifting. His kindness - him taking her to the pallet after he almost killed her, his insistence on carrying the backpack when he saw her sagging shoulders, his tenderness when he held her healing hand, his concern when she was drenched in Ji's blood - it's making things hazy.

 _Why_. After the way she treated him last night and his harsh words through the day, it just doesn't add up.

She's swimming in lava and she can't keep going like this.

Because fire and water do not mix. They are not meant to be allies. They are opposite - water drowns fire and fire evaporates water.

So  _why_  are they being so kind?

Katara thinks back to just before he lost control. It's difficult because her mind just wants to focus on the sharp pains of her wrists burning, but she pushes past that to what she had said. What he had looked like as she said it.

Hurt. Anger. Betrayal. Zuko had let it all show before she slipped into blackness. He really  _was_  concerned about his place in the Palace. He  _did_  look at capturing the Avatar as his only way to secure his spot in the Royal line.

And then he had almost killed her.  _That_  explained some of his guilt. She was the only way he could actually even get close to who he wanted. If he killed her, all of that would be lost.

He wouldn't have a chance to prove himself.

If she dies - especially by his own hands - everything that he wants would be pulled out of his reach completely.

The Avatar is important to him not only because he was the  _Avatar_ , but also because Zuko sees it as the only way to  _not_  be like his cousin.

And she's what is between him and his throne.

She wonders what it is like. To be afraid of a father so much to go on a desperate manhunt to ensure that one isn't banished from home.

Her father would never do that. They have had their differences - bloodbending, attacks and raids to name a few - but she has always had a home.

The firebender… he doesn't have that. There is no security where he is. And that...isn't right.

A part of her feels for him. But that part is immediately overshadowed by the fact that he is fire and still her enemy. It doesn't matter what his intentions are, his backstory. No matter how sad it is, it's not her concern.

She must win. She  _has_  to win this. If not for the Avatar and the resistance, but for herself.

It's the only way that she can prove her ice is superior to his fire.

-/-

She's already fallen asleep by the time he gets back. The healing, the bloodbending and the frustration over her own internal monologue made her close her eyes and before she knew it, the moon offered her a reprieve.

She senses his heartbeat and she opens her eyes, watching him as he walks back into the light. He looks over at her - she snaps her eyes closed - and she hears him move around a bit. Katara peeks out from between her lashes. He's straightening out his pallet.

He rolls over onto his side. She stares at his back.

The firebender flips over, looking up at the trees that shade their little camp.

"You're right, you know." Zuko's voice makes her jump even though she was watching him. He turns his head to look at her through the weakening fire. This time, she doesn't close her eyes, she opens them further. "I don't want to end up like Lu Ten. But… right now, it looks like I might."

She doesn't say anything. She isn't sure what he wants her to say.

"Azula  _is_  father's favorite. She was born lucky." He turns his face away from her. She doesn't look away from him. "But she  _can not_  get the throne. That's why I have to get the Avatar. If I don't… this world  _will_  burn."

"It already is."

He looks up, meeting her eyes again and she's surprised at the determination in them. He's not hiding this time - he  _wants_  her to see it. For some reason, this is important. Somehow, Azula getting the throne makes him more scared than anything that she's seen before.

Maybe Azula is the one the rebellion needs to worry about. If they can get to her...

"You sure about that?"

"The world is dying. Haven't you noticed? Something isn't right here - and I think that something is the Fire Nation as a whole, not just one girl."

"I know," he nods. "I know the balance is off and  _everything_  is...is rebellion because..." This time,  _he_  swallows. "But if Azula wins this - if I were to disappear - it would not help you at all. It'll just make things worse."

Katara turns away. Zuko is worried about Azula - but at the same time, Katara wonders if the firebender is just toying with her somehow. It wouldn't be the first time.

So, she turns away from him, her back to the fire as she lays on the pallet. "That's where you're wrong. Things can't get any worse."

-/-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the support!


	14. Chapter 14

The silence is so thick and heavy that Katara could take her new knife and cut chunks of it out of the air.

She is quiet when she rolls up her blanket and packs it all inside the backpack. Zuko takes it from her - not even looking away from the bag in her hands - and cleans up his own area.

Her hands don't know what to do. Her eyes don't know where to look.

He's finished and she immediately starts walking away after he puts out what little fire embers remain burning in the ash pit.

She's stronger than she was yesterday. Being under the moon the entire night helped ease her out of the weakness from before. Tonight, she will be even stronger.

It's been fourteen days since she's last seen her brother and father. Fourteen days since Zhao managed to capture her. Thirteen since Zuko took her in. Five days since she fought Zhao.

Two weeks. So much has happened in these past two weeks that she can barely comprehend it all.

She doesn't know if she can last any longer than that. Not with the firebender. Things are already too complicated and they've been doing nothing but fighting.

That, and she's nervous - she's nervous because it's been two weeks since she's been away from everyone. Two weeks since she last knew anything about anyone. Now she doesn't know how her father is, her brother and his girlfriend, the state of the current alliance with the Kyoshi Warriors, how Sangok is holding up now that he has a ship on his own. What about Aang? Is he - has he gotten better?

The boy wasn't as strong as he had been when she last saw him about a month ago. Rumors were that the weight of his people's genocide was catching up to him after he visited the ruins of the Southern Tribes.

Had he found the other Air Nomads? Or were the really all wiped out?

Has the Fire Nation crossed into the Northern Tribe? Is there  _still_  a Water Tribe?

What did the world look like? How had it changed since she came into this jungle?

They're still close to the river. She feels the tug pull at her and she starts to veer them towards it. What she needs right now is her water. Her element. He has his sun but she didn't get to relish in her moon last night.

Plus they both need a bath. She didn't mean to buy the soap in the village for them to not use it.

The water quickly comes into view and Katara already has her boots off before Zuko can even set the pack down. Without a word, she rummages through it and grabs the bar of soap.

She walks to the edge of the water. It laps against her ankles while she strips off her leggings and tunic, leaving them close to the riverside so that she can easily grab them when she's finished. Standing in her bindings, she pulls her hair out of the braid and quickly immerses herself in the water up to her shoulders.

It's colder than she remembers. They must be heading further North where the mountains are. Those will be tricky - but she thinks she knows of a mountain pass that will help them out when they get to it. She's not too worried.

Katara turns her back from the firebender who is undressing on the grass. She soothes the soap over her skin, taking off the bindings and tossing them over a rock nearby.

She feels cleaner and better than before. Refreshed.

Katara looks over her shoulder at the firebender. "Your turn." She says - the first words that either one of them has said this morning - and tosses the bar at him.

He catches it easily. She quickly turns away again.

She washes out her clothes and bends the water out before letting them hang over the rock so that the sun will warm them.

She's all clean now. Her body, hair and clothes. It's the first time in a long time and it makes her smile because it just feels so  _good_.

Pulling on her bindings and re-wrapping the top, she climbs out of the water and collapses on the ground with her legs still in the mud and the water lapping at her waist.

 _Relax_.

When he tugs his wet clothes back on, she flicks her wrist and dumps the water that made his clothes heavy back into the water.

Zuko looks as startled as the first time she had done it. "Thanks," he mumbles, looking away awkwardly.

It's the first thing he has said since the sun came up.

She gives him a weak nod in return. Still splayed out on the grass, she lets her hand drift back down by her side and closes her eyes. They should start moving, but the sun feels good on her face for the first time.

"We should get going." The firebender says. She opens her eyes. Hearing him speak is...surprising. Especially considering the silence of the morning.

He's already standing and the backpack is secure around his shoulders. Reluctantly, Katara pushes herself up. She pulls on her boots before she starts following him back into the forest.

She soon overtakes him, leading the way while being guided by the water. Maybe they  _should_  travel to Kyoshi island instead. Ba Sing Se is a long way away… and things are already starting to become more than difficult…

The sun rises higher in the sky and falls again. Darkness overtakes the forest they're walking in and Katara finally pulls to a stop. It's no use walking in the dark when she can't see anything in front of her.

She collapses down on the ground, legs splayed out with her palms buried in the dirt behind her. Her feet were tired from all the walking - her stomach growling from a short, inadequate lunch break earlier.

The firebender drops the backpack beside her but keeps walking towards one of the trees. She hears him snapping twigs off of fallen branches and low limbs. Seems like he's going to start a fire. Should she go get them something to eat?

Standing and walking are not appealing right now.

Zuko makes a frustrated noise that makes her turn to look at him over her shoulder, eyebrow cocked up in curiosity.

"These sticks are wet. They won't burn right." He's muttering so low that she doesn't know if he's just talking to himself or if he means for her to hear. The sticks are thrown down onto the ground. He looks around the small clearing. "Looks like it rained here."

Katara shifts in the grass. "It's a little wet. Maybe… two hours ago? Give or take."

"Can you bend the water out of the limbs?" He's a bit louder. Clearly, he wants her to hear now.

"I've tried it before. Never works." She shrugs her shoulders. "Can't do everything. Something about the texture of wood makes it difficult. Just wants to suck all the water up and keep it to itself."

"Well." Zuko ambles back over to where she is. He's still standing. She has to look up at him - something she has never liked. Why couldn't he be shorter? "Looks like we won't have any lasting fire tonight."

"Do you want to try going to a village? Get a room or something. Surely there's some - " She breaks off when she sees his face. No, village and tavern rooms are not a good idea at the moment…

She looks away. Something unpleasant weighs at the bottom of her stomach. "Just a suggestion," she mutters quietly. Her hands find a rock in the dirt and she throws it at a tree.

Hearing it hit the trunk doesn't make the pit in her abdomen go away.

Another awkward stretch of silence settles.

"I could, um… try to get  _some_  water out… and we could get some leaves… the fire won't last very long but there would be some light…" Katara sort of trails off. Wet wood doesn't burn very well but it's worth a shot.

Better than just sitting here in the tense quiet.

The firebender nods. Katara pushes herself up with a grunt and starts by picking up wood that's already on the ground. She doesn't get much - just enough to form a base and three for a point.

She bends as much water out of them as she can but they're still damp. Zuko takes them and arranges them anyway. His leaves go on next. She bends water out of those as well, dumping it off to the side for now.

The waterbender gets a nice little stack ready and Zuko has a pile of dried leaves waiting. He lowers himself to the ground, arranging the logs and she watches kind of awkwardly because she isn't sure what she should do now.

"I'm going to go...get something to eat...or something." She says, even though she doesn't really have to tell him where she's going because he's not her father or her brother. But for some reason, she just wants him to know.

He gives her a little nod and she turns abruptly, cheeks reddening.

She doesn't hunt. It will take too long to clean it and gut it and all of that and she simply doesn't feel like doing it right now. They will need to before too long. The jerky is almost gone and they finished up the fruit around noon.

They need meat. She's noticed that both of their tunics are fitting a bit looser. It's only been a week and a half since they started out, but with all of the walking and climbing and sweating, they're in desperate need for protein. Soon, she'll have to hunt.

Katara does find some berries and other fruits though. They're nice and red and plump and wet from the rain. She bends the water around it just in case though, cleaning off any dirt that happened to stick to it.

When she gets back to their campsite, Zuko already has the bedrolls out and the blanket spread out on the ground. She dumps their meal on the blanket and grabs a handful of berries before plopping down on the grass.

They eat in silence. It isn't exactly uncomfortable.

He managed to get a low fire burning. Katara  _is_  rather impressed even though she'll never let him know that. It's dull, not nearly as bright or hot, and there's a lot more smoke coming off of it than usual but it's a fire and it's enough.

Better than she could do, anyway. If there's one thing that the firebender  _can_  do while they're out here it's making fires. She always had trouble making those back at home. And that was even with flint and stones. Zuko has to just waive his hand and  _poof_ : fire.

Good. Because otherwise he'd be more of a burden than anything. The fact that he  _is_  so useless isn't as annoying as it should be because of his little gift.

The waterbender is about to wipe her hands clean on her breeches when she notices it. Her hands…they're covered in red.

 _Red_.

She stares down at them. Tension tightening her back and rididity settling in her spine. Red - so much red, so much warmth. So much  _power_.

Hands pressing down on her body. Nails scraping her sides. Cold sharpness of steel in her hands.

The gentle heat of blood.

The look in Ji's eyes as she plunged the knife into his chest over. And over. And over. The guttural chokes as his blood filled his throat.

The panic in the other guard's eyes as she strangled him with blood. Ji's blood.

She squeezes her eyes shut and clenches her fist. It - It's not  _right_. A person's death shouldn't have that much power over her - why is she thinking about this now? It's just  _red_  - it's just  _blood_  - someone who should have died did so  _why is she thinking about their deaths now?_

Katara bends water from a nearby plant and washes the berry juice off. As much of it as she can. When she's done scraping her palms together, her hands are still red. But it's not from the berries. It's from her fervor.

The water slips from her fingers and falls back into the ground. She can't look away from the clean pink of her palms.

 _Red_.

If Zuko notices anything, he doesn't speak. When she manages to look up at him - shoulders still hunched, head tucked down, peering at him from underneath her lashes - he's tossing more dried leaves onto the fire.

No, he hasn't noticed. He doesn't even glance her way.

Her hands are shaking. She clenches them into fists to stop it, pressing them into the covered flesh of her thighs. Zuko may hate her but if he sees that she's getting all worked up he'll ask why. She knows he will. He's just like her - has to know everything. And she doesn't want to talk about it. She doesn't want to talk about  _anything_.

Doesn't want him to know that she's thinking about how she killed Ji and that other soldier. Doesn't want Zuko to see that she's weak. How that night has stayed with her since.

It just doesn't make sense. It's something that should - killing is one of the most natural things a person can do, survival instinct and all - but it  _doesn't_  and she isn't sure why.

She's killed people before. But...she's never killed them like that. It's always been with her bending, never with a knife and blood pouring onto her hands and fingers slipping in wounds.

She's rarely ever seen the look in their eyes. Never had the chance to watch the light fade from them until there's nothing but a black, empty hole.

Katara squeezes her eyes closed and snaps her eyes away from the fire.  _Why does this bother her so much?_

Her legs shift and she slides down into her bedroll. She's too tired to set up camp in a tree like she has before. The full moon side-effects are wearing off and she'll be woken up by the sound of a strange heartbeat.

So she closes her eyes and turns her back to the firebender.

Maybe she won't dream of red.

-/-

But she does. Her dreams are nothing but red.

She wakes up. Gasping and flailing in her bedroll as she surges upward with her arm poised for an attack. She swears she felt phantom hands clawing at her body - ripping up her tunic, dragging down her leggings as wounds were scraped open around her hips - and she  _knows_  her palm feels cooler than it should.

Her chest is heaving. Eyes adjusting, jaw dropped with a poised scream ready to tear out, she pants from exhaustion and terror with her hand still in the air, knife prepared to plunge into her attacker's heart.

But there is no knife. There is no attacker. There are no hands holding her down. There is no fire but the embers at her side.

Body trembling, she covers her face with her hands and  _tries to get a hold of herself_. It's not working - her chest is still swelling and her throat is sore despite the fact that she didn't scream.

Oh Spirits. Everything had felt so  _real_  - she could have sworn that she was back on that ship in their arms. It felt… She digs her nails into her scalp, knees pulling up to her chest as the blanket falls off of her.

It felt so real. Horrifying.

Her arms encircle her body, wrapping herself up as she tries to hold herself together. She  _can't_  cry even though she feels the wetness in her eyes. She can't lose it here even though she's trembling and her bottom lip won't stop it's quiver.

Not here. Not now. Anytime would be fine, but she  _can't_  -

Her hands are red.

Fingertips. Her fingertips and hands are stained. Katara snaps her hands up to her face and scrutinizes them in the dark. She can't really see but she  _knows_  it's there.

Her hands are slick and they're  _red_.

She's beyond frantic when she tugs water from her waterskin. Hysterical when she scrapes at her hands.  _Blood_ \- red and slick and smooth and silky on her palms is not welcome. She has to get it off; needs to get it off.

But it's not coming off. She keeps scrubbing but it's  _not going away._  She scrubs harder. It's painful, nails raking across her flesh but she doesn't even wince because she just wants the red to go away. Forever. It has to.

Fat, hot wet tears start rolling down her face. Partly from frustration because it's  _not going away_  and partly because her hands are so stained.

She chokes on a gasp when her nails dig too deeply into her skin. Now she's bleeding.

Her blood is mixing with theirs'.

Hands stop grating against each other, mouth dropping open in shock and horror, and she holds her hands up to watch as  _her_  blood drips from the open nail tracks of her hands.

It's… She's…

The tug of healing jolts her back and she loses it. Not even she can stop the cry as her hands are stained with more blood.

She yanks the water out of the ground and scrubs. Scrubs. Scrubs even harder than before. Her hands are wet and red and raw and it hurts but she has to do it.

Hot hands grab at her wrist and she starts trying to tug them away when they're forced apart.

"What are you doing?" The firebender asks, voice soft but he sounds… scared. Worried - for her? for himself?

Her reply is a choked, mangled cry. She yanks at her wrists again. He squeezes them a bit tighter.

"What are you trying to do?" He repeats.

Katara forces herself to look at him. He visibly recoils. Are her eyes betraying her that much?

"Blood - there's so much and I need to get it off and I -"

"Waterbender, there isn't any blood."

"Don't call me that! That's not my name! That's what - that's what  _they_  called me and it's  _not_  my name. Stop - let  _go of me_." She groans as she tries to yank and tug and pull her wrists away from him. But he's not letting go.

"Stop -  _Stop_  - K-Katana -  _Katara_  - stop moving! Stop, just  _calm down._ There isn't any blood, okay? No one's here. It's just me and you. Stop -  _Ow -_ hey,  _stop that!"_

She rakes her nails against his fingers and he hisses.

Katara can't stop him because he moves  _so fast_. One moment, she's sitting up and the next she's on the ground with her wrists by her head, a weight on her stomach.

She starts trying to buck him off because this position as all too familiar but he's not letting go and she can feel the panic wrap around her throat and -

" _Stop_. I'm not going to hurt you -"

"You have before!" She interrupts. "You have - and -  _I_  - "

He swallows. "But I'm not now. I'm - I'm trying to help you. You have to stop trying to take the skin off of your hands. You need to calm down."

"Get off of me!" Katara tries to twist around but he's too heavy on her.

"Not until you  _calm down_. You're going to hurt yourself if you don't."

She lifts her hips again, Zuko shifts back and she's pressed down against the hard dirt again. The waterbender huffs. She flicks her fingers, preparing to force him off of her but he notices the movement and flips her hands down into the dirt. Useless.

"Let me up," she hisses. "I'm calm."

His eyes narrow. "No you're not. Your eyes are still wild." Zuko scrutinizes her for a few moments. She gulps -  _what was he looking at_? Why was he looking at her? "What's wrong with you?"

"Like I would tell you," she scoffs. "Not that there's anything wrong. I just…" A pause. " _Get off of me_." She bucks her hips again. A futile gesture. If anything, he becomes heavier. A weight shoving her into the dirt and she can't  _breathe_  with him so near - with him above her. Grabbing her. Holding her down.  _It's too much._

"You just…?"

Katara scowls. "It's none of your business.  _Get off!_ "

"It is my business when you wake me up crying and bleeding while scraping your hands raw." He pauses. "It's about Ji and Cho, isn't it? Lee said that...that it  _affected_  you."

"Like I said, firebender. It isn't your business." She swallows and she knows right then that she made a mistake. Even though she denies it, the affirmation he needs is in her eyes and her tone. Zuko softens just slightly but the hands on her wrist do not.

"Do not carry the weight of the dead on your shoulders. It will do you no good."

"They were  _your_  soldiers. Shouldn't you be  _glad_  that they haunt me? Shouldn't you hate me?  _Despise me?_ "

"When they acted against my orders and the orders of the Fire Lord, they ceased being my soldiers."

"They were still your men. They were under your protection and you - "

The pressure on her wrists lifts and her mouth snaps shut. Zuko sits back, no longer leaning over her but he doesn't stand. His weight is still settled on her hips and the tops of her thighs. She waits. Neither of them moves.

"My men would not have acted so dishonorably."

"So it's only honorable when the Fire Lord does it?" She challenges. "Or when the prisoner in question isn't so important? Your views of honor  _confuse_  and  _disgust_  me if that's what you think."

The Prince stiffens. "It… can be complicated."

"It shouldn't be. It's wrong and you know it. Just because your father thinks it's okay doesn't mean that you have to accept it."

"That's not -"

"Your kings should be held accountable for the same rules that they use to govern others. The only thing different from your Fire Lord and Ji is that one wears a crown while the other does not. Yet you judge them differently for the same crime."

"There is more that separates a ruler from his people than just a crown."

She scoffs. "That's what you think."

"It's what I  _know_."

"They're both men. They can be killed just as easily. It's not as if the Fire Lord is protected by the Spirits. He is a man, just like Ji, just like you, and just like the people he oppresses and rules."

"My father is not an oppressor."

"After the short time we've known each other, you still hold on to that belief?" She quirks an eyebrow. "Even after meeting Haru, talking about how he favors your sister, Lu Ten's banishment, their attacks, your -"

"He is  _not_  an oppressor. He is the Fire Lord." His jaw tightens.

"So that's his excuse for everything, then? Justifies the way he treats people?"

"You wouldn't understand." The firebender snarls.

"Then make me. Make me understand. Because your twisted views are making my head spin."

How they went from talking about her nightmare to talking about the Fire Lord is lost on her. But Katara seizes any and every moment to tear him down - and she has a feeling that this could be one. Just like it was before he knocked her out earlier. Maybe this time there will be less violence…

She likes this topic better - because they're not talking about  _her_  or the  _red_  and he's not scrutinizing her in that way that makes something in her spine tingle.

Yes, talking about him and his problems is a lot better than hers. She prefers it this way.

She tilts her chin up as defiantly as she can. The fact that he is still straddling her isn't lost. But it  _doesn't_  affect her because she  _hates_  him. At least, that's what she keeps telling herself.

"I don't have to explain anything to you", he growls, deep and low in his throat like an animal and for a moment Katara's eyes widen. That sound - while not necessarily strange because her newfound goal for the past few days has been to piss him off as much as possible and it has  _worked_  - still makes her spine quiver.

Maybe it was just from the cold. Yes, it was most certainly from the cold.

Katara reclaims control over herself and narrows her eyes. "Isn't that what you've been trying to do all along?  _Explain_  so I can  _understand_?"

"I'm not...that's not -  _no_ , that's not what I've been doing."

But the way he trails off lets her know that he now realizes that that's  _exactly_  what he's been trying to do. Something in his eyes falls for a split second and she sees  _confusion_  in them before he replaces it with the customary hardness.

"Not so sure, firebender?"

He scowls. "Stop calling me that. If I have to call  _you_  by your name then you have to call  _me_  by mine."

A beat. Another. Katara swallows, thick and painful. Had she made him call her by her name? She can't really remember…

Oh but she does. She recalls it now -  _he even called her the wrong one at first before correcting himself_  - and she flushes because she didn't really mean it. Well, she  _did_  but now she  _doesn't_  and not saying each other's names just makes everything more simple.

Names complicate things. She can refer to him by his in her mind but not out loud. It's like… acknowledging he's more than a firebender out loud.

Katara doesn't know if she can do that.

So she settles for a scowl that rivals the one that is still twists his face unpleasantly. "I'm not going to call you  _Prince._ "

"You have before."

"Ironically. Not… intentionally. You are  _not_  and never will be my Prince."

Zuko leans a bit closer. Is he still sitting on her? She had forgotten. "If I had to call  _you_  - you Water Tribe peasant - by  _your_  name then you have to call me by  _mine._ That's the deal."

"I'm not a peasant," Katara snaps. Why hasn't she pushed him off yet? "And no deal. I'm not going to call you by your name. I changed my mind. Keep calling me  _waterbender_  for all I care." Because she doesn't. She doesn't care any more.

Deep down though, she does. In her dreams -  _nightmares_  - Ji would say it with as much vile and repulsiveness as any person could muster. It isn't  _right_  or  _fair_  and she shouldn't be tormented by that but now that Zuko says it, she can't help but hate it.

Words shouldn't have so much power. But they do.

Zuko finally shifts. He's up and crawling back off of her and Katara takes a moment to breathe before she follows his example. He sits, long legs folded underneath him not too far away - if she wanted to touch him, she could just reach out  _not that she would ever want to but still._

Katara puts her hands in the dirt to support herself and stares at him. He stares right back. They're both waiting, and Katara knows that he wants her to speak first.

"Fine." She says and huffs. "I...I guess we have to call each other by our names."

"Okay, Katara."

Her spine stiffens. She doesn't think she will ever get used to it. "Fine, Zuko."

He tenses. Looks like she won't be the only one.

But even though this was somewhat  _her_  idea, he's the one that pushed it so really  _he_  should be the one that is bothered by it the most. Or at least, he better be.

"I still expect an answer," she snaps because she wants to make sure he knows that she isn't getting comfortable in this. Just because they now have to say each other's names doesn't mean  _anything_.

His eyes narrow. "And I still expect mine." He's trying to prove it to her, too.

This power struggle is tiresome. She wonders who will win in the end. Katara has ever intentions of being that winner but the firebender - he's proving to be a worthy adversary, she admits reluctantly.

But it doesn't matter. She has no choice but to win and so that's the only option. She  _will_  win.

She  _hates_  Zuko.

Katara hates Zuko so much.

-/-

She doesn't go back to sleep. Zuko does. She's never noticed before - because she is normally already asleep when he is - but the firebender Prince actually snores a little.

It isn't atrociously loud. Not like Sokka or her father. It's faint, but she can still hear it from where he sleeps across the ashes from their fire earlier.

The only bad thing about his snoring is - she's used to it so it doesn't  _bother_  bother her - is that it...makes her think about her brother and father. The only real family she has left. Even though she's Southern Water Tribe and they are so few in number that  _everyone_  is her family, those two are the only blood-kin she has.

Katara pulls her knees up to her chest to stop it from shaking. She wraps her hands around her legs to keep them from trembling.

She really misses them. She really does.

She's been apart from them for longer than these two weeks. Her father, she rarely sees him more than a few days at a time several months in between. Sokka she sees more, but now that he's assumed more responsibilities within their little rebellion, he's been around less and less.

Still. She still  _misses_  them. And it makes her heart hang heavy in her chest and her throat to tighten up like she's going to start crying again any second.

Maybe it's because these past two weeks have brought her so much  _pain_  and she's never had to strategize like she has to now.

Maybe it's because she hasn't gotten a real hug - or any signs of tenderness - in these two weeks.

On her ship, she had Hama and Pakku - while Pakku was never the most kind of people, he did feel  _some_  kind of affection towards her and Hama always had the nicest, warmest hugs with the exception of Gran-Gran - and there was also Sangok.

She still won whenever they sparred. But he had gotten over feeling embarrassed about it and his hugs were always nice. Even if he  _was_  a little scrawny.

And Aang. Aang's hugs were always enthusiastic.

Katara shifts around on top of the bedroll and rests her forehead on top of her knees. She shouldn't be so soft. Allowing herself to think about the people that she misses isn't going to do her any good.

Sokka would pat her on the back but tell her that there are more important things to think about. Pakku would tell her to stop being so pathetic but his eyes wouldn't match his words. Hama would stroke her hair. Sangok would smile at her. Aang would suffocate her with the biggest hug he could muster.

Her father would look uncomfortable for a little bit because she should probably go to her mother for things like that but then he would sweep her up and just hold her like she wanted to be held.

It hurts, missing them.  _It hurts._ Deep and heavy in her chest.

Her place isn't here in this forest with the firebender. Her place is  _with_  them, on Sangok's and her's and Pakku's ship fighting against the fire raiders. The ship she was on stayed close up North to protect the Tribe - they were on a supply expedition when Zhao attacked them - and she wasn't in the thick of action even though she  _wanted_  to be but  _still_.

She's not doing anything right here. And that hurts almost as much as missing her family does.  _Almost_.

Katara needs to get out of here. Get out of this forest. Get Zuko out of her hair because now they're calling each other  _by names_  and that's  _dangerous_.

She wants her family. She wants her crew. She wants her usefulness back.

She wants her  _life._

And she wants it back  _now_. She can't have it though - not yet. Because she's stuck in the middle of damned forest with a firebender who she  _hates_.

He snores again, a bit louder this time and she chuckles because it's just so  _weird_  that he does that.

Then she stops laughing. She  _hates_  Zuko. She has to keep remembering that. Otherwise, name-calling won't be the only thing she has to worry about.

But the fact that she has to keep reminding herself that she hates him...it doesn't exactly ease the twisting in her stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all of the kudos and the comments! The support means a ton!


	15. Chapter 15

Katara hates the sun. Normally, she's fine with it - unless they're fighting firebenders because then they're pretty difficult to get away from in the daytime - but now… She turns her face and buries it between her arms as she lies on her stomach, smothering herself in darkness.

Zuko, on the other hand, is already rolling up his bed. She can even hear him snack on an apple or something. Breakfast. Her stomach rumbles but she's  _not_  moving because her head  _hurts._

The night was far too much. And now she just wants to catch up on her sleep.

"Get up." The firebender says. She hears him rummaging around in the backpack but is simply too lazy to see what he's doing. "Unless you want to stay here and waste away the day, I suggest we get a move on."

"No." She protests. "I'm  _not_  moving."

She misses the ships. They never woke up so early then.  _Waterbenders_  - those who rise with the  _moon_  - shouldn't have to abide by the same times as firebenders.

Katara  _would_  insist on traveling at night because then  _she's_  stronger. But she can't see very well in the dark and if Zuko does attack her, he'll probably do it at night. Besides, if a group of Fire patrols stumble upon them when they're sleeping, she'll be stronger. She'll need that if she faces a group.

Zuko sighs and she thinks he has dropped the pack back down on the ground. "One morning you can't  _wait_  to get moving and now you don't want to move at all," he mutters.

Katara doesn't even bother with a response. She just shifts her head into a more comfortable position and sighs.

"Be quiet. I can't sleep with you sulking."

Somewhere, a stick hits a tree and she  _knows_  that he threw it.

After sitting up and holding back tears for several hours, Katara finally managed to doze off just an hour or two before dawn. She didn't dream that time - at least, nothing that she can remember and that's just fine because she'd rather forget about the red and the yellow and the blood.

The ground hurts where it pushes up against her shoulders but she's so tired that she doesn't even care. The waterbender spent more than half of the night staring up at the moon wondering if someone from her family was doing the same.

Silly, she knows. But it made her feel better and connected to the people that she  _really_  wanted.

"We shouldn't  _stay_  here." Zuko keeps complaining under his breath, loud enough that she can hear it. She rolls her eyes and keeps ignoring him.

Katara falls back asleep for what feels like scant minutes before someone is shaking her awake. Her arm that isn't tucked underneath her head starts flailing. "Sokka,  _stop_ ," she hisses and turns her head into the crook of her arm to block out the light.

Her hand slaps against something hard and she pushes against him.

"I know you're not fond of this  _call-each-other-by-names_  thing but that doesn't mean you can call me someone else's," the firebender huffs. Katara responds with groan. "Come on, it's almost noon. I've let you sleep for long enough."

Oh. Right. Firebender, Earth Kingdom. Forest. Hard ground, not swaying ship or the chill of ice.

"No you didn't," she protests gruffly, but she's rolling over onto her back with her eyes closed, fighting against the haze of sleepiness. She finally does get around to open her eyes, only to squeeze them shut instantly against the sun. "I don't know  _how_  you firebenders can stand the sun."

He chuckles, already moving away from her. "I feel the same way about your ice-cold water."

Katara grumbles and complains until she's standing up and rolling her bedroll up - but even then she's trying to blink her eyes clear of grogginess. Her stomach rumbles - embarrassingly loud - and Zuko smirks before tossing her an apple.

"Thanks," she mutters. That was...nice. She refuses to think about it anymore as she packs up all of her stuff and pulls the bag over her shoulders. Katara is still eating when they break away from the camp.

"We've wasted too much time." The firebender says, eyes flickering up to catch where the sun is in the sky.

"Didn't know you were so eager to get to the Water Tribe." Suspicion is in her voice and her eyes are narrowed. She tosses the apple core to the side.

"I-I'm  _not_." He flubbers. "But I just thought that…"

Katara stops. Her arms cross over her chest and she glares at him. He's slow to turn around, hesitant. " _Why_  are you so eager to leave camp?"

"We're in the middle of an Earth Kingdom forest where there are tons of slavers and poachers roaming around. Forgive me if I'm a little hesitant to stay in one place for a long time."

She doesn't change the glare.

"After seeing your earthbender friend get caught up in that, you want to see it again? Fine, be my guest, but I, for one,  _don't_." He turns back around and walks away.

She works at her jaw for a bit, staring at his back as he gets further and further away. Sure enough, he turns to see her still standing at the same place and she swears he slows down a bit.

It shouldn't make her smile, but it does.

He's right, she supposes. There  _are_  a lot of... _unpleasant people_  in the Earth Kingdom. A lot of stuff goes on in the jungles that she doesn't really know all about herself. She knew there were slavers - but that can't be the worst kinds.

The waterbender marches after him. She's a bit steadier on her feet than she was before. She hasn't tripped nearly as much.

She reaches out for the river to make sure that they're on the right path. It's there - maybe a fourth of a mile off so they haven't strayed too far. When will they get to the Northern curve?

Zuko slows down just enough that she's able to catch up with him easily.

"You know I have all the supplies right," she can't help but tease. How far did he think he was going to go without the bedrolls, food and knives? Speaking of supplies - she really needs to start working on that fur blanket. While she  _may_  be from the Tribes, she still gets cold. And she doesn't exactly know how well firebenders adapt to chill.

He quirks a brow. "Why do you think I slowed down? It certainly wasn't for  _you_."

For a moment, she's actually a little offended by that. But then she remembers that the firebender is still a firebender and her enemy - and she  _hates_  him - and people don't get offended by statements made by people they hate. So, she squelches that down as fast as she can.

It's really hard to hate the only person she's had contact with in several days.  _Really_  hard.

If it was Sokka or Sangok, she probably  _would_  hate them by now. So why is she having to remind herself over and over that she's supposed to hate Zuko?

She  _never_  should have made him call her by her name. Even if everytime he said ' _waterbender_ ' it made her think of red slickness.

They walk a few miles and Katara's stomach starts grumbling embarrassingly loud so they stop.

She shouldn't - because as she keeps telling herself, Zuko is her enemy and people shouldn't,  _don't_  care what their enemies think or feel - but she's... _embarrassed_? No.  _Ashamed_? Maybe.  _Mortified?_  Yes. That's it.

She's mortified over what happened the night before.

It was just a nightmare - a super realistic one, but a nightmare only - and even if it felt real it wasn't. She freaked out,  _really_  freaked out, and  _him_  of all people had to try to calm her down.

And...she paid him back by trying to get the upperhand by turning it back in his face. Katara talked about his father. Used words like  _tyrant_  and  _oppressor_  and while she really believed what she said was true, Zuko had been the one who calmed her down.

Kind of. He managed to get her to stop from scraping the skin off her hands by pinning her to the ground but it still counts… right?

And she's been thinking about that. Once she managed to wake up and remember what all happened the night before, her cheeks were warm and it wasn't all from the atrocious, sweltering heat of the jungle.

The waterbender really tries to just forget about it. Zuko seems to be doing that. He hasn't mentioned a thing about it except for the whole name instance. He even let her sleep in, for Spirit's sake!

It's...nice. Nice is dangerous. Nice will get her nothing but trouble.

But it's not make her suspicious. There isn't anything he can gain from that except for her softness. And Katara is too hardened for one night to start chipping away at her stones. Surely he saw that when she charged right back at him and taunted him about Ozai.

All of this is just  _confusing_  and  _weird_  and she  _doesn't know what to do_  or  _think_  or  _feel_  and it's just... _ugh._ Sokka. She needs Sokka. He'd know what she - they - should do.

She wipes at the sweat on her brow and huffs. Things would be simpler if she left him on that boat.

But she can't really forget about it all. She just  _can't_. She's been thinking about it all morning and it's about to drive her insane. She needs to -

"Thanks," she blurts out. Zuko startles, the backpack slipping from his fingertips onto the ground and he jumps at the sound but she keeps looking at him. At his ambers. "For, um, last night… Thanks."

He reddens.  _Blushing?_  Interesting. "Oh, um...you're welcome, I guess? I was just trying to - to get some sleep. You were...You were pretty loud."

She can't keep looking at his ambers. So she looks at the log that he sits on. "Yeah. I suppose I was." A pause. An awkward one at that. "Can we - Can we just try to...forget that?"

A pause longer than the one before it stretches between him.

"Are you okay?"

She looks up. The question - it  _surprises_  her. "What?"

"I saw how you looked that night." He swallows. "And I heard you last night. Are you...Do you want to... _talk_  about it?"

Katara blinks. "No. I just want you and I to  _forget_  about it."

She stands up swiftly and starts marching into the forest. Zuko scrambles to grab the bag and she hears him chase after her. The firebender is back at her side in an instant.

"You can't just  _forget_  about stuff like that. It was your first kill wasn't it?" She looks at him sharply. "I mean a kill like  _that_. Like a nonbender. Up close, where you can see their eyes."

Katara shrugs. Hopefully that will be more than enough answer for him.

It is. "It's different, isn't it?" He's softer this time. "To be to close and to watch the light leave them. Knowing that you're the last person they see - the last sensation they feel is pain - and it… kills a part of you too. Almost...It almost makes you reconsider everything."

"They deserved it," she replies stiffly. He's right though. He's explaining everything that she's felt and she doesn't like that. They shouldn't have anything in common. They  _don't_. They already shared names - they can't share anything else.

"Doesn't matter, does it?"

"What would you know? The only thing you know is your fire."

Zuko blinks down at her. She almost trips over a stone. "Oh, I know  _exactly_  how you felt when you stabbed Ji. It feels sick and wet and slick but...it feels kind of good. Like some part deep down inside of you likes it even though the rest of you hates it."

She turns her head away.

"It's not right to take another's life."

"Yet we do it all the time," she mutters.

"Enemy casualties are expected in war." That damned sentence - it bothers her. So much. She's even the one who said it first, spitting it in his face nastily and cruelly like her hands were as white as her snow. But they're not. They're stained with red.

Red. Just like his fire.

Katara drags in a shaky breath. She doesn't like this conversation. "Doesn't make it any better."

"No." He shakes his head. "No it doesn't. I think that's what's wrong with all of us. We benders - we're so detached from killing that… taking human lives, it's almost like we're  _not_  doing it when we're bending."

"Strange words coming from a firebending Prince," she mumbles and kicks a branch out of the way.

"It's true though, in a way. Maybe if we didn't have bending, we wouldn't have war."

"Bending isn't the reason for this war. This war is about freedom. Liberation. The ability to live in your culture without deadly interference. Bending only plays a small role in that."

Zuko thinks for a moment. "But if we didn't have bending, we wouldn't have so many deaths. And we'd appreciate human life so much more if we had to be up close to witness it, to see and fully grasp what we're doing -"

"We'd find some other tool besides bending," she interrupts. "All of the Southern Warriors are nonbenders. They can't defend using water, so they use spears and shields and staffs. Weapons used for killing animals to kill humans. Not having bending doesn't stop them. I doubt it would stop anyone else."

He frowns, shoulders sagging. "Yeah...I guess you're...right."

"Maybe it's a good thing that we kill with bending." Katara says abruptly. "I don't know how I would feel if this entire war was fought with... _that_  kind of killing."

There's a long pause. Katara can only imagine a world where the rivers are red and the world is dead because of the sheer butchery involved in fighting with weapons other than bending.

Fire is bad. She hates fire and firebending and the heat and pain. But she'd take that over knives and spears and swords any day.

"And your people are the ones who impose strict bending laws on others while your children practice their arts freely. It's wrong - bending, it's a deep part of someone. Haven't you ever thought of that? How your laws - the ones that you enforce and support - they...they  _kill_  a piece of a person."

"Of course I have," he scoffs and looks up. "I never claimed to be a complete supporter of my father or his father before him. I-I know some things are wrong. I know that things should be different."

"Then why don't you speak up? You're the Prince! Surely your word must count for something."

Zuko sighs. "I did," he mutters so quietly that she almost doesn't hear him. When she realizes what he said, she pauses mid-step before continuing and looking up at him. "I did speak up. But we're nothing but pawns now. If you don't play the role... you get hurt."

His eyes flicker over to her for a moment and she breathes in sharply - his scar,  _he's talking about his scar._

"I spoke out of turn at a war meeting. They wanted to use an entire squadron as a distraction for a bigger assault on Omashu. The troops would have had no chance. And I tried to explain a different route - a better way that we could have taken the city without sacrifices like that. But my father didn't like that. He didn't like that I spoke out against a plan that he devised and that generals actually agreed with me."

Silence. His - His  _father_  gave him that scar?

Apparently, she has said the words out loud. His lips twist in a cruel mockery of a smile. "Yeah. Yeah he did. Next thing I knew, I was being shipped off on a quest that would only end in death or exile. I could come back to my home for brief periods of time to stock up, but I could never stay. Not until I brought him the Avatar."

"I'm sorry," she says, nothing but truth. Zuko glances over at her - the false smile gone - and he nods. Like he's accepted her apology. She hopes that she sees she truly is sorry for what happened to him. She may hate him but no one - no one, not even him - deserves to be treated by their father, or anyone, in that way.

They fall back into quietness. A half-mile passes.

"Why did you stop me last night?" She asks, a whisper. The quiet is too comfortable and she just  _needs_  to know the answer to that question. It's burning her. She needs to know.

"I thought you wanted us to forget about that."

"I do. But I still want to know why you stopped. You could have taken advantage - knocked me out and got away or something. Why didn't you?"

He chuckles. "As if I would have gotten far without you." Warmth floods her cheeks. It's pleasant but unpleasant at the same time. "I mean, I don't know how to survive outside of a palace...And barely even there."

"You sell yourself so short." She shakes her head. The words come out before she can think them through and her cheeks burn - Zuko looks at her sharply like he's just as surprised. "I mean, you survived this long in the Palace and...and out here so you must be doing something right."

Katara bites on her lip.

"Well," he clears his throat, "maybe so. But I couldn't last more than a few days out here. If I was going to take advantage over your weakness, not only would I do it closer to a place where I know there is a Fire camp, but I would also make sure that you didn't seem completely out of it."

"I was that bad, huh?"

"You were clawing the skin off of your hands. I'd say you were pretty bad. There's also the whole...bloodbending thing. I'd rather not experience that again when you're in that...frame of mind."

She feels the heat drain away from her cheeks and she's cold again.  _Ice._  "Oh...yeah. I can, um, understand  _that_. I...wouldn't have done that…"

Bloodbending him hadn't even crossed her mind at the time. That, and it was the last day of the Full Moon weakness. She wouldn't have been able to do it even if she tried. But Zuko doesn't - and doesn't  _need_  to - know that.

Katara doesn't look at Zuko to see his reaction. She wants to...but she doesn't.

A pause. "Good to know."

The tension in her shoulders release. She hadn't realized they had been stiff.

"I stopped you last night because you looked really scared. Angry - murderous even - but panicked." She  _does_  look at him now. "It was far different than how you looked on the night that it happened. It was like everything finally hit you at once. I couldn't let you freak out like that and injure yourself...Or me."

"But we're enemies,  _Zuko._  Why - why would you even care?"

"You annoy the hell out of me. And most of the time, I'm trying not to kill you and I'm sure you feel the same. But just because we're enemies doesn't mean that you're not a human being." He shrugs his shoulders. "And you're the one who's keeping me alive right now. Having you die or go mad from a panic attack wouldn't exactly be the best thing."

"I do hate you, you know. I hate you and your Fire Nation."

"And I hate you and your rebels. But that didn't stop me from helping you last night."

"This doesn't change anything."

"Yes it does." Zuko's eyes level with her. "It changes everything. When you start looking at your enemy as the sole reason you're living and as a real person, it makes you stop from doing things."

Katara swallows. It's thick in her mouth and her tongue is dry. "You're still my prisoner."

"You're still my captor."

"I'm still taking you to the Northern Tribe."

"I wouldn't expect anything less."

"I thought you were supposed to cruel. Cruel and mean - just like Zhao and Ozai and every other firebender I've met in my life." Not that she's really  _talked_  to any of them but  _still._

He quirks a brow. "Sorry to disappoint. You were supposed to be barbaric and savage. I wake up every day expecting to be encased in a block of ice."

"And I wake up wondering why you haven't burned me."

Zuko laughs - he  _laughs_  - and she doesn't feel like clawing her ears off. In fact, it almost makes her want to laugh because this whole situation is so...screwed up that she feels it's the only thing she can do to keep from crying out in frustration.

"I guess -"

She's cut off by the sounds of dozens of different heartbeats. Whirling around, she quickly drops into a defensive position, scanning the forest because those beats are too loud and too steady to be friendly.

A high arc of fire slashes through the trees and Katara barely has time to suck the water out of her waterskin and slice the fire down the middle.

 _Firebenders._  Lots of them.

"You  _knew_?" She snarls at Zuko - his mouth is gaped open and he hasn't even raised his hands and she's so  _furious_  because it looks like they've -  _she's_  - walked right into a trap that he must have known about -

Before he can answer, a sickening crackle makes her spin around to block multiple tiny fire darts. They're fast - strong and hot and she can't concentrate on their heartbeats to know where they are so she keeps having to circle around. She can't  _see_  them and she doesn't know who's she's putting her back to -

-  _Zuko._

Katara leaps at his back, fisting her hand against the front of his tunic as she kicks the backs of his knees. He's down, her forearm pressing his head against her stomach as she holds him to her with her arm against his neck. "Make  _one move_  and I will pull every last drop of blood out of your body," she hisses against his ear, tightening her hold to get the message through.

The water forms a large icy blade and she holds it to his cheek.

"I'll kill him - I swear to the Spirits, I  _will_ ," she growls to the trees.  _Where are they?_

"Like we care what happens to a boy?" Someone chuckles. But there's no fire coming her way.

Katara puts as much ice as she can into her stare as she faces the direction where the voice came from - somewhere to her left. "This is no mere  _boy_." The hand around his throat moves to his hair and she shoves it back, baring his scar to them. "He's your  _Prince._  Show yourself!"

She's aware enough to know that Zuko's heart is racing. Pounding.  _Scared?_  She sneers and presses the frozen blade against his cheek more. Her fingers around his neck twist and she grips hold of his blood - just enough for her to be sure that he isn't going to try to bend his way out of grasp.

The forest ruffles - trees and branches and bushes move and she spins around as best she can to keep them all in sight - there's so  _many_  and she realizes it.

She's being herded.

A dozen or so firebenders -  _soldiers_  - circle her in and she picks out the commander easily. There's gold on his uniform at the shoulders.

His amber eyes - fire, heated,  _amused_  - wash over her and Zuko on his knees. The corner of his lips lift. "So you're the girl that Zhao had... _problems_  with."

Beneath her, Zuko starts to move and she snaps her forearm against his neck again. She stifles the grunt when his skull digs into her stomach. "I am. And I'll cause a lot more problems for you if you don't let me -  _us_  - go."

"How sweet." He's smiles. No warmth. "It's endearing how you think you can get us to let you go. Such a high priority prisoner. Zhao was insistent in his announcement to let him know when you were found. I can't exactly let you go."

"What if I  _make_  you?"

His eyes shift behind her and before she can spin around to defend herself, fiery hot hands are groping her shoulders, hauling her away from the Prince and gripping the wrist that holds the blade.

They're too warm - she bites the inside of her cheek because she is  _not_  going to scream -

The ice blade evaporates when one of the men slices through it with a fire bolt so heated that she feels it on her face and arm. Then those hands grab both of her wrists and haul them against the small of her back.

Katara fights back - digging her shoulders into the man behind her and she stomps down on the boots of those beside her - snarling, vicious and so cold that they must be uncomfortable holding her - because she  _won't_  be any one's prisoner again - especially not the Fire Nation's. She worked so hard to get out of that and it  _won't_  -

\- The commander's flaming hand grips her chin and she  _screams_ as the flames lick at her cheeks and mouth and lips and she yanks herself back -  _burning_.

"You will stop your struggling and you will come quietly." Fire disappears but his hand is still too hot as he forces her chin up. The air smells of burnt flesh. She feels charred. "Zhao wants you alive but he didn't say the kind of state you had to be in."

She snarls, a polar lion's grimace and fearsome teeth showing.

Katara coils her fingers - they've seen  _nothing_  - and even though she can feel the tug of healing at her face and neck, she reaches to the nearest person - the soldier holding her hands - and  _twists._

His blood - hot, coursing but cooler than Zuko's - responds easily and he forcibly lets go of her wrists. She quickly wrenches up her knee, driving the bone up into the man's groin and snaps her arms forward to  _shove_  him away.

She doesn't hold on to the man's blood longer than she has to - her fingers are already pulling at the water left in the skin and from a few plants nearby. Katara spins, slicing the water at the man that held her down and moving just in time to miss the searing fire of another.

There's so many of them - there's not enough water - she  _needs to_ -

-  _There_ , a clearing. There's a gap in their formation and she can make it if she just keeps going - Katara flinches away from another fireball and the commander is trying to sputter, red-faced and humiliated with fury in his eyes and he's screaming commands but she can't  _hear_  them -

She won't be a prisoner - Katara turns her back to the gap and starts backing away into it as the firebenders are throwing more and more heat at her and she's desperately trying to fend them off with what little water she has - there's so many attacks that she can't draw any water from around for a  _second_.

She's almost to the edge of the gap and she's  _so close_  to being able to disappear - she knows how to blend in, knows how to climb and she thinks that she can make if she can just -

Katara can't bring the water around to block a fire stream coming from her right  _and_  her left and she drops to the ground, eyes wide as her tunic is burning at her side and she whips the water around to douse that because it  _hurts._

It's enough of a distraction for one of the soldiers to pounce. She gasps as her head hits the ground and she's tossed over onto her stomach. She can't kick or punch or do  _anything_  but send her elbows flying back into the man's chest but he shifts his weight. Katara coughs, breath mangled as she's buried into the grass and dirt with heaviness holding her down.

This time, they slap manacles around her wrists and her palms are pressed together - proper restraints for a bender - before they haul her back up onto her feet.

There's wildness in her eyes and in her hair and she  _hates_ them. Oh, how she hates them.

It's in her eyes, matching the commander's fury as he manages to rise. He's still red-faced. Humiliated. Just like her.

Katara doesn't flinch or shy away when he stalks closer to her. The snarl on his lips is fearsome enough to rival Zhao's, but it doesn't make her spine shake and shiver like his did. It just makes her angry.

He slaps her. Heated palm against icy skin.

She plans a special death for him: a frozen heart that will beat and replace all of his fire with ice so he dies chilled and numb to everything but the cold.

"You better watch it from now on," he hisses. "You're going to be waiting in our camp for a while so you shouldn't cause more trouble than you're worth. It's a lot more difficult to maintain order in a camp than it is on a ship."

But he's not saying it to point out a weakness - the smile that replaces the snarl shows her that the words were a warning. A threat. Something in the pit of her stomach tightens and she narrows her eyes.  _Threats._  They must not know what happened to the two soldiers who tried to do that to her on the ship.

He lifts a hand to her neck, tilting it up so that it's completely exposed to him. " _Interesting._ " He must be talking about the healing burns. She could feel the healing still tugging at her. It's not completely healed yet but it will be soon.

The commander turns away from her and she lowers her head back so that she can glare around him to where Zuko stands. He's stiff, not meeting her eyes as he works to soothe over the front of his wrinkled, dirty tunic.

"Prince," the commander says, "the Fire Lord will be pleased to know that you have been found."

"Have I been declared missing?"

"Zhao presumed you dead. He sent word that the waterbender killed you in a fit of extreme violence. You know how vicious and savage those tribespeople can be." The commander looks over his shoulder at her. He's smiling, tight and she glowers.

The icy hackles on her back rise. If she wasn't restrained, she would -

"Yes, I'm aware." The ice in Zuko's voice could rival her own. Katara switches from the commander's to the Prince. He's still not looking at her -  _traitor._

She shouldn't feel betrayed but she does. He  _had_  to know that they were walking right to a Fire Camp and yet he didn't say  _anything._  In fact, he had been damned  _pleasant_  this morning -

\- And it all makes sense now.

It was a facade.

And for some reason, that hurts more than when the commander burned her neck.  _Traitor._ Deceiver! She should have known better than to trust a firebender. Look where niceties had gotten her: back in the hands of more firebenders, soon to be handed over to Zhao if she didn't break out.

"Our camp isn't too far from here, as I'm sure you know." The commander gestures to the right. And that's it. There's all the proof she needs to know that Zuko walked her straight into a trap. He planned this. The damned firebender  _planned it all._

A soldier picks up the backpack that had slid off her shoulders at some point. The soldier behind her shoves her forward - she stumbles but then she's yanked back into the man's burly chest. She makes sure to stomp on his foot with all of her might just for that. In retaliation, one of his hands leaves the grip on her arm to yank at her hair. He keeps it there as the two follow after the Prince and the commander.

Katara isn't so focused to making sure that she doesn't trip over the forest floor to not notice that Zuko glances behind at her a few times. She meets his eyes at random intervals - they're blank and hers are cold.

_Traitor._

The trip to the fire camp isn't long in distance but it feels longer with the soldier yanking and pulling at her hair when she doesn't adjust to the random speeds he sets or when she loses her footing. Her head hurts, her scalp aches, and her elbows dig uncomfortably in her sides and back.

It's all Zuko's fault. She hates him most of all.  _Hates._  There's a coldness gripping at her heart that burns when she scowls at his back.

"Take the waterbender to one of the cells. Chain her up and make sure that her hands remain bound. You saw what she did to those plants." The commander instructs.

Katara shoots icy daggers into Zuko's back one last time before she's hauled away by her hair with a hiss on her lips.

They will all pay. These firebender will answer to her ice and her water before this is over. And this time, Lee won't be there to stop her.

She'll save Zuko for last.


	16. Chapter 16

There's a round post digging into her back. Her hands are still bound, wrapping and holding her to the post. They didn't string her up but she almost wishes they had. This position is so uncomfortable and her back is already sore even though it hasn't been a day yet.

Her legs are splayed out in front of her. She can move some, switching between having them underneath her and then moving them around and that makes this a  _little_  bit better but still. She's tied up to a post in a barred box in the middle of the camp.

Katara can see the soldiers move around from her little cage. Some stop and stare at her, not even bothering to hide the smirks and twisted expressions on their face. Most of the soldiers glance and keep walking though.

She hasn't seen the traitor yet.

Not that she's particularly shocked at that. Zuko has proven to be a coward, a liar. It doesn't surprise her that he isn't going to show his face around her. He had made her out to be a fool. Deluding her into thinking that he might have been a decent guy. That he might have a heart underneath all of that fire.

Something twists in her stomach and she feels that cold that burns creep back. It hasn't left her, kept her up even - along with the uncomfortable metal pol digging into her spine - but times like this when she's thinking about what he did - how he  _tricked_  her - it comes on stronger.

She  _will_  burn him with her ice. If he thinks that her bloodbending tricks were monstrous… Well, what she wants to do to him - what she's imagining over and over in her head - will make that seem like nothing. Child's play.

If he knows what's good for him then he'll just  _stay away_  until Zhao comes -

"Katara." She freezes at her name. There's only  _one_  in this entire camp with that voice that knows her name. "I -"

"Don't you  _dare._ " The ice in her blood shows in her voice. She raises her eyes to his just in time to see him flinch.  _Flinch._  "Don't you dare call me by that name again. You have  _no right._ "

The Prince swallows. His heart is racing. Nervous. Very nervous. Before, she would have found this interesting. Now she just finds it infuriating because he has the gall to  _stand_  before her cell and  _speak her name_  like they're  _friends._

"You knew this was going to happen. Either you were going to hand me to your rebels or I was going to give you to the Fire Nation." His voice is steady. A true  _Fire Nation_  firebender. She notices for the first time that he's in red again. He's clean.

He's also right. They had no other options than this. But that doesn't  _change_  anything and she still  _hates_  him for what he did - what he  _knew_  -

"So I just made it to where I was standing on the other side of the cell. You would have done the same. You  _were_  doing the same."

She scoffs. "Why are you even trying to explain yourself to me? I don't  _care_."

"Yes you do. I saw the betrayal in your eyes. The anger. I deserve that, but I just think you should know that I'm only doing what you were planning on. You knew that this was a possibility - I just beat you to the punch."

"Go. Away." She's snarling again. Katara jerks forward like she can break the manacles or uproot the post even though she can't. Her wrists and arms scream in protest but she just has to -  _needs to_  - rake her nails across his skin, across his  _scar._ "I don't want to see your  _face_  again."

She spits up at his face. She's a waterbender, even with her hands behind her back she doesn't miss.

Zuko raises his hand and wipes it away.

"I'll make sure that you're fed. That you have water and maybe move you to a tent instead of...here." His eyes glance over the bars. "You're not an animal."

"You thought so before. You thought I was a  _monster_  - barbaric, savage and vile.  _Don't_  try to help me. You don't owe me anything. I don't want your pity or your kindness because the moment you get me out of this cell is the moment when I reach out and grab your heart and watch you  _freeze._ "

There must be something in her eyes because  _that_  makes him step back. The little victory turns her snarl into a cruel and cold smile.

"You better watch my back, firebender. Because I'm  _certainly_  watching yours."

He leaves her. Katara watches until his tense shoulders disappear around the group of tents where the soldiers sleep.

He had no right. No damned right to come up to her and not only call her by her name, but also offer his  _help -_ his  _pity_. She doesn't need that - doesn't need or want  _anything_  from him and his traitorous hands.

It doesn't matter that he's right - and deep down, she knows that he is. In a way, she even understand what he did and why he did it. Zuko was only doing what she was. He just did what he said: beat her to the punch.

In the Earth Kingdom, it is easier to find a Fire Nation camp than a rebel outpost.

That doesn't lessen the anger in her blood, the iciness around her spine and heart, the cold twist on her lips. She hates him.  _She really hates him._  Not only for acting like someone who could potentially be her  _friend_  - or at least, an ally when there was no one else to rely on - but for  _winning._

He won.  _Damn_   _him_ , he won. Just when she thought her biggest goal was to get him to Ba Sing Se without killing him, he launched a sneak attack and she was blindsided.  _He won_ and  _she lost._

She was right back at the beginning. A defeated, captive waterbender surrounded by her enemies. One step away from Zhao and two steps away from Ozai.

So she needs this anger - this frozen anger because it's the only thing keeping her from burning underneath this sun. Because she  _will_  survive and get out of this somehow. Katara has no intentions of speaking about Aang to either Zhao or Ozai.

Anger will make her strong. It will keep her cold and she won't break. She'll be just as Sokka told her:  _Be the icy waters,_  he always says,  _their ships cut through the ice. So be the water. Lure them in with deception just before you freeze and drown them in your cold depths._

She refuses to either empathize with or forgive Zuko. Even if she was doing the same to him… She's not going to think about that. Because she needs this anger. Needs it more than she needs anything right now.

It's the only thing that will get her out of this.

-/-

"The Earth Kingdom summers sure are warm, aren't they?" Someone says to her left. Katara turns, eyes already steely and hard and she sees the commander walking towards her cell. He smiles, eyes glinting and she looks away.

He comes around to the front of the cage and she refuses to look away. The commander crosses his arms over his chest.

"I bet they feel even warmer to you, tribeswoman. You don't have heat in those poles of yours, do you?" He's amused, squatting down so that their stares are locked and leveled with each other. "Might be a bit more comfortable if we were to take that heavy tunic off of you."

"The last firebenders who tried to take off my tunic found themselves with knives buried in their chests and blood around their necks."

He lifts an eyebrow, tilts his head to the side. "Good thing we got your hands tied up then."

"Good for  _you_."

The commander hums something. He reaches forward and runs his clean, pale fingers up and down the length of one of the bars. "Zhao said to make sure you were restrained. Said that you were wanted for killing men on his ship and practicing unlawful bending."

"That's all he told you?" Katara snorts. These soldiers had no  _clue_.

"Is there more to the story?"

"Isn't there always?" She challenges right back. The commander shrugs his shoulders like he doesn't care, but she watches as he leans forward a bit and the way his eyes brighten. He's curious. Seems like he already had suspicion that Zhao was hiding something.

"You'll be put on trial for the unlawful bending and for the kidnap and murder of Prince Zuko. Your death will be painful. I wonder how loud a waterbender screams?" So that's it - information for information. That's how he wants to play this.

But wait.  _Murder_? She hadn't killed Zuko - he was right - …  _oh._

The commander smiles. It snakes across his lips. "That's right. Thought you'd be glad of that little fact. You and he seemed…  _close_. Thought he'd keep you around for a bit longer, did you? That's what all you whores think. Just because you fucked him means nothing."

Heat brushers her cheeks and she's glad that it's darker in the cage so that he doesn't see it.

"Have you told Zhao you have me yet?" Katara changes the subject.

"Sent the bird this morning. He'll be here in a few days." The commander shifts and sits on the ground. "I'm sure you can't wait for your little reunion."

"And he told you my supposed crimes?"

"Your crimes? Yes."

" _All_  of them?"

A pause. "Not unless there's something else -"

"Oh there is." She smiles, cold like her tone. "There's a  _big_  something else. I'm rather surprised he didn't tell you. Could be that he doesn't trust you or he's worried about you stealing the spotlight or something - or he could just want to tell you in person." Katara shrugs her shoulders. She needs to be Sokka - lie, cheat. Anything to get out of here.

It works. Her bait  _works_  and her idea about him already suspecting Zhao seems to be right. The commander's eyes narrow and he moves closer to the cell. If she plays this just right…

"How do I know you're not bluffing?"

"You're going to kill the man - boy - who betrayed me to my worse enemy. You're right, apparently the fact that I've fucked him doesn't mean anything," she sniffs. "I don't like Zhao and neither do you. What reason do I have to bluff? You've already caught me - I'm not  _going_  anywhere so why would I lie? If I'm going to be put on trial to die, I'd rather die knowing that Zhao falls too."

"He really worked a number on you on that ship, didn't he?" Katara meets his laugh with silence. A stony silence and he quickly scrambles to cover it up. "Oh, sorry. Didn't mean - Didn't mean to say that."

"Are you  _in_?"

"Depends on your conditions. I'm not going to make some sort of deal with the likes of  _you_  without knowing what I'm getting myself into. I know how you rebel tribesmen work. I'm not an idiot."

 _Yes you are._  "I let you take me to the Fire Lord without struggle. You get to hand me over as a prisoner to him and reap all the benefits that Zhao would have gotten. In return, you let  _me_  kill the Fire Prince. I also want out of this cage - no, just listen - I want out of this cage and in a proper tent with food and water. You'll guard it, of course."

"You were fighting tooth and nail back in that clearing. Why are you giving up now? Surrendering? Doesn't seem your style?"

"I want to put the Prince's head on a platter for what he did to me. If I kill him, the Fire Lord will have no choice  _but_  to kill me. I can stop running and die knowing that both of the men who screwed me over are dead and gone."

"So this is about revenge."

"Isn't everything?" He still doesn't look entirely convinced. "Look, I'm not asking you to trust me. Because really, you can't. But I am urging you to take this opportunity before Zhao steals it right from under you. We can both benefit from this."

"I don't -"

"Zhao probably ordered you to kill the Fire Prince, right?" The stiffening of his shoulders tells her  _yes_. "You think that he won't use that against you in the future? To try to blackmail you? I only knew the man for a few days and I already figured out how he operates. Before this is over, he  _will_  work that to his advantage somehow. You don't have to live in his debt."

"What is your other crime anyway? If I'm going to go through with his, I need to know everything. Zhao wouldn't be after a simple waterbender like this if you hadn't done something big. And  _don't_  try to say that you were his favorite slave."

She thinks fast. "I witnessed Zhao's mutiny against the Prince and General Iroh. Zhao knew that I was going to rat him out to someone -  _anyone._  He wants to punish me himself for grabbing the Prince and getting off that boat."

"Why would you save the Prince?"

Katara smiles. "You  _were_  the one who said I fucked him. I thought it meant something to him. But clearly, it didn't. I was angry when I saw how he betrayed me. I've been wanting to slice his throat ever since I realized what he did."

"Stupid girl," he scoffs, shaking his head. Then he stands and dusts off his pants. "I'll think over your proposition and get back to you. Until then, I promise that the Prince won't be harmed. Can't give you spoiled goods if this is going to work."

"I hope you accept." Katara grins up at him. "Don't keep me waiting too long."

Anger is good. Anger is powerful.

Anger just helped her lie her way into the mind of the one man who was going to unknowingly get her out of here.

He leaves her. There's curiosity in his eyes and she tries to keep the smirk on her face small enough to not warrant too much attention. It's hard though - she just manipulated the man like she manipulates her water. Sokka would be proud.

When the sun slips behind the trees, Katara has new visitors. Four soldiers who unlock her cell and untie the rope that keeps her manacles on the ground. They have to pick her up because her legs are too unsteady to stand, but they don't seem to mind even though  _she_  does.

"I can walk," she snarls when one of the men seems bent on carrying her to the tents. Katara wriggles and elbows her way out of his arms. Her knees buckle when she tries to stand, and they're quivering enough that she has to bite her lip and  _focus_  but she manages.

Their touch is too warm anyways.

One of the soldiers grip her arm and pushes her towards the tents. Two lead the way, the other on her opposite side. Smugly, she can't help but smirk when she thinks about how nervous she's making the commander feel if he sent  _four_  soldiers to escort her.

They stop in front of a tent in the middle of a line. A few soldiers around a fire look at her in curiosity as her escorts open the flaps and shove her inside.

"Sleep tight, waterbender," one of them grumbles. "Don't get any funny ideas."

"Wouldn't dream of it," she replies tightly.

The flap falls back and she allows herself to take in a breath.

The tent is empty, a simple cot the only thing in it but it's all that she expected. They didn't remove the manacles - a smart move on their part and shows her that even if the commander is gullible and an idiot he still doesn't trust her.

She collapses right on the cot, boots and dirt and all, and sighs in pure relief.  _Much_  better than sitting up against a pole. Katara situates herself so that she's on her side and closes her eyes.

Zuko might have won at first, but she's gaining on him now.

-/-

An unwelcome heartbeat wakes her up in the morning.

She shifts, turning over onto her side and opening her eyes. They narrow as soon as she's able to discern  _who_  is in her tent.

"What do you want?"

"I went to your cage. Imagine my surprise when I found it empty," Zuko says. His eyes appraise her. "How did you manage to convince the commander to let you in a tent instead?"

Katara manages to swing her legs over the edge of the bed and sits up. She can't exactly brush her hair out of her face, so she slips her head back, huffing. "Now that's not really any of your business, now is it?"

"You're my prisoner now."

"No. I'm the commander's prisoner. Or, as you so kindly told Zhao on the ship, I'm the  _Fire Nation's_  prisoner," she reminds him and he stiffens. Katara sighs. "Unless you brought breakfast or water with you, I'd really like for you to go."

Zuko crosses his arms over his chest. His hair is in top-knot again. The scar is more pronounced this way - Katara used to not see it because it was just  _there_ , but now that he has betrayed her, it's almost the only thing that she  _can_  see.

"You're playing a dangerous game here."

"Who says I'm playing games?"

"I  _know_  you."

"No you don't," she snaps. "You just  _think_  you do. If you knew me, you wouldn't have let us walk straight into a Fire Nation camp but you  _did._  Do you know what this means?"

His chuckle unnerves her and she is reminded  _again_  of just why she hates him other than he being a firebender. "Grand delusions of escape. We're not on the ship, waterbender. You won't get free this time."

"And  _that_  is why you don't know me. If you did, you'd know that I will stop at  _nothing_  to get out of here."

"You shouldn't." He insists. Something in his eyes flash but she can't analyze it before it fades and he regains control. "It'll be dangerous. You might die."

"And ruin your chances at ever getting the throne? Oh,  _Spirits_  that sounds awful. I'd  _hate_  to do that to a traitor."

Zuko looks like he's about to make a move towards her - his weight even shifts and she tenses because if he comes near, she won't hesitate to ram her head into his skull - but he catches himself. "I'm trying to help you in any way I can but you're not grateful at all."

" _Help?_ Grateful? In what ways have you tried to  _help_  me? Why should I be  _grateful_  to you?" Her voice is rising - she needs to calm it down or else she'll set the guards off and the commander - he might retract their little deal. So, she takes in a deep breath but it doesn't do anything to soothe her.

Fists are formed at his sides and he looks like he's trying to calm himself down too. Good. She wants to set him off. Give him a reason to hit her so that she can torment him about it later. She's a big girl, she can take a few punches if it'll help her destroy him later.

She hates him. She hates him so much -  _but she really doesn't, not really and_ \- No.  _She_   _hates him._

"Don't try to help me. I can help myself just fine and I don't need you." Katara clears her throat. "You only make things more complicated in the end so I'd rather you not try to seek me out again. I don't want to talk to you anymore than you want to talk to me. So leave me alone."

Zuko stares at her for a few moments. A few tense, silent moments and she can't even tear her own eyes away from his. It's uncomfortable. It makes her skin crawl and she feels so exposed that she thinks he's catching on to what she's doing.

But he turns away, striding over to the flap quickly because he has long legs and the tent is small. Just before he pulls the flap open he pauses, turns to look at her over his shoulder and says, "I won't let my father or any of the guards at the prison touch you. You have my word. I really am sorry about how - about how this is ending."

With that, he's gone.

Now that -  _that right there_  just makes her hate him even more.

Here she is, trying to keep her anger against him to strengthen her so that she can do what needs to be done. And then he just ruins it -  _ruins it all_  - with a simple sentence. It's something that they've discussed before; she knows that he thinks the way the Fire Nation treats their female prisoners wrong, and she's told him  _exactly_  what she thinks -

And there he goes. Putting himself in a jeopardizing - and questionable - position by telling her that he won't let anyone touch her. And then he  _apologizes_ \- he damn well  _apologizes_ for the way that things turned out. Not only ignoring the fact that  _he_  was the one that brought about this ending, but also that  _he knew_  exactly how things were going to end.

It  _should_  make her angry. Angry because he's promising her help, special treatment  _and_  apologizing after committing an act that not only hurt her, but also  _made sense_ to her because she would have done the same exact thing. Except she wouldn't have apologized. And Zuko knows that she wouldn't have.

Because that was the way that war worked.

Despite that - despite the fact that he could be manipulating her again - Katara can't bring herself to feel any more anger. It crumbles. Crumbles because his voice was so soft, so damned sincere at the time that she can't even bring herself to doubt him.

It sucks.  _This_  sucks. Because she's being irrational and she  _knows_  she's being irrational yet she can't  _stop_  because that's who she  _is._

She should be imagining an icy death for him. But she  _can't_  - she  _can't_ and that makes her want to  _scream_. He's her  _enemy_  and she should want him dead but she  _doesn't._

None of this makes sense. Before, her view was black and white. Fire and water. Them and us. Now, there's so many shades of grey forming and there are so many blurred lines that had been solid before and she can't even  _think._

But she knows that she can't be mad anymore.

Katara can't be mad because she would have done the same thing. She would have - and was going to - take Zuko by the collar of his tunic and  _drag_  him to some icy prison up North. She was even going to use bloodbending if she need to. Anything to get him out of her hands so that she could turn her attention back to the war.

She can't be mad because Zuko just wanted to go home and is terrified of being banished from it. He wants his throne and he doesn't approve of the way things are going now. He doesn't like the way the commanders treat prisoners and the way his father has a prisoner priority system implemented.

She can't be mad because he doesn't like war. He doesn't like the genocide and he turns to stone whenever they brush across the subject.

She can't be mad because he would rather her be free than back under Zhao's command.

She can't be mad because he gave her a knife on that ship so she could protect herself. She can't be mad because he didn't take any of her crap - he fought back against her and made her life hell just like she was doing to him.

She can't be mad because he didn't let her hurt herself a night ago, because even though he's a Prince he doesn't really know anything about the world and how to survive out of a palace.

She can't be mad because he doesn't know that Zhao has plans to kill him. And he doesn't suspect a thing.

She just  _can't_. And that makes her confused because she doesn't even really  _like_ Zuko. She doesn't even understand most of the things that he does. She just...she just can't be mad at him anymore.

She doesn't hate him. She doesn't like him, but she doesn't hate him either.

Katara isn't sure how this conclusion is supposed to help her any. If anything, she just feels more confused and her head hurts a little.

A harsh breath pushes through her teeth and she slams back down on the bed. Things shouldn't be so damned  _confusing._  She certainly hasn't helped situations any by becoming somewhat comfortable around him - but honestly, how could she not when he was the only person around for those days?

She shouldn't be this way. She shouldn't  _feel_  nothing but hatred for him but she can't. She can't and she doesn't even really want to. Not anymore.

There are so many others to hate. Others who deserve her cold hatred far more than Zuko does.

-/-

The commander must want to speak with her because around midday - after she's rolled around on the bed and tried  _not_  to think about the position she's in - two of the guards from outside the tent come in. She's hoisted up and when the edge of her tunic gets caught in the waistband of her pants, one of them gently untucks it and soothes it back down.

Great. Another Lee. Like she doesn't have enough problems already.

One of the soldiers walks in front. The other - the one who untucked her tunic - grips her elbow and makes her follow behind. She complies as best as she can. Mainly because she doesn't want to set the commander off and she is somewhat glad that the burly-chested man with the fondness for ripping her hair out isn't one of her guards.

The commander's tent isn't too far from her own so the walk isn't far. Katara holds her head up high. She may look a mess, but in the eyes of the soldiers they keep passing, she wants to look as confident and cold as she possibly can.

Because she's imagining their deaths. One icy death after another.

That's the kind of anger that she  _can_  rely on now.

The guard's arm sweeps away the flap and steps to the side, allowing her to duck her head down and enter his tent. She probably should be worried but for some reason, she can't find it within herself to  _be_  concerned. She's filthy, sweaty and dirty and ragged-looking from the past few nights. Not appealing at all and she wouldn't have it any other way.

He's sitting behind a small, wooden desk covered in books and a small basket of fruit, writing something out at first and she takes the moment to glance around the tent that is considerably larger than her own. The cot is bigger, there is an expensive rug covering the ground, a few chairs in a corner, the desk with a seat in front, a bookcase behind that and several chests overflowing with papers beside it.

A book slams shut and she jolts, jerking her eyes away from the papers falling out from the chests to look at him. He sets his modern quill down and temples his fingers underneath his chin. He's scrutinizing her. Again. She wonders why she hasn't gotten used to be appraised like a show beast.

"I was informed that you had a visitor," he breaks the silence finally. "Seems like our  _mutual friend_  is still fond enough to not only seek you out but to also stay a rather prolonged time in your tent. Care to explain that, waterbender?"

"The Prince tried to say he was sorry. A fake apology, a weak attempt. I think he wanted one last go before I was carried off to the prisons." She shrugs her shoulders as if it's no big deal.

"And did you?"

"Did I  _what?_ "

"Indulge him."

Her cheeks redden - she's sure he can see it this time because there are no shadows to block it out. "No. He betrayed me when I tried to help him and I can't forgive him for that. Our deal hasn't been compromised, if that's what you're afraid of."

The commander chuckles. "I haven't exactly told you my answer to your so-called  _deal_. Just because I moved you out of the cell doesn't mean that I've accepted. You should have learned by now that tiny gestures do not indicate grand approvals."

"Then why am I here?"

"I assumed you wanted to eat? That was one of your requirements, was it not?"

Her stomach grumbles. Loudly. "I thought you hadn't accepted my proposition yet?"

"Technicalities." He waves his hand. "Besides, you are hungry and so am I. Please - sit." He gestures to the empty seat in front of him. Watching him carefully, Katara walks from the entrance over to the seat, lowering herself down like she's expecting to have to jump up again any second.

He takes one of the mangos at the top of the fruit bowl and holds it out to her.

"I can't move my hands." She says pointedly, shrugging her shoulder to emphasize that.

"I know."

She pauses. "So you need to get the manacles off so I can eat."

The commander smiles. "I'm not an idiot, tribeswoman. I'm not going to let you out of those shackles just so you can try an escape attempt that might injure one of my men and only stir up trouble just so you can bite into a mango."

"You're honestly not going to  _feed_  me, are you?"

"Unless you're not hungry…"

"Fine," she snaps. "I'll-I'll eat the damned mango."

It's humiliating. By the end of it, Katara doesn't even try to salvage what little dignity she has left. She just wipes her juice-covered lips against the fabric over her shoulder and tries to hold her head up. Relying on firebenders - it's a  _disgrace._

"So is that all?" She asks, more gruffly than before.

"I actually came across some rather interesting information." His fingers are temples again under his jaw. "Your friend - lover, Prince,  _whatever_  you refer to him as - seems to believe that  _you_  are more important to the Fire Nation than you're letting on."

Katara freezes.  _No._

"Apparently,  _you_  know where the Avatar could be hiding. In fact,  _you_  happen to be one of the leaders in that pathetic little rebellion." The commander rises smoothly. His fingers trace across the shiny wood as he steps around the desk so that he's right in front of her. Hesitantly, Katara shifts her eyes and looks up at him, meeting eyes that are burning with  _something._

"So tell me, tribeswoman. Where you going to let me know about this before we cut our little deal?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This week has been really tough. And this weekend has been...very nice so far. Taking a well-deserved vacation at the beach with some friends. Didn't really have time to edit this as much as I would have liked.
> 
> Thank you so much for your support! I can't tell you how much it means. I swear, I'll get to replying as soon as I can!


	17. Chapter 17

Katara stares, wide-eyed and  _nervous_. She can't even open her mouth to reply. This - This was  _not_  how she expected this meeting to go.

Before she  _can_  start talking to defend herself - or explain, whichever got her into a good position again - the flap behind her opens and she snaps her head around to see Zuko behind pushed inside the tent as well.

The Prince's guard isn't nearly as soft-handed as hers was. He lands on his knees before staggering up, hands clasped behind his back like hers are.

He seems just as shocked as she does. But he manages to quickly cover up his face and fix it in a mask of a cool blank stare that she quickly borrows. If he's not going to show his panic, neither is she.

His heart though, that's not something he can hide. Not from her. It's racing and frantic and she tears her eyes away as his guard shoves him again towards where she and the commander are.

The Prince falls into a chair beside her, Katara looks straight ahead through the commander's stomach because she  _really_  needs to figure out something to get her out of this  _mess_. She was so close - she was  _so damned close_  and then Zuko had to go  _ruin_  it all by opening his mouth.

What did he expect would come from revealing  _that_? Her relationship with the Avatar was causing a lot more problems than it solved.

Zuko manages to shift around until he's sitting up right. Katara glares at him from the corner of her eye. She hopes that they made his manacles extra tight on his wrist. See how  _he_  likes it.

The commander leans back on the desk. He crosses his arms over his chest, looking down between the two and she half-expects to be reprimanded over something petty.

But this isn't petty. And she highly doubts that they're simply going to be reprimanded like children.

"Now, how about we start this off with a bit of  _honesty_ , shall we?" He asks. It doesn't sound like a question, more like a command than anything.

"When my father hears of this -"

"Throwing around that title yours isn't going to do you any good here,  _Prince,_ " the commander interrupts, shutting Zuko down immediately. "Especially when your father doesn't seem to  _care_  about the fact that you've been missing and presumed dead for the past week."

"I'm still your Prince. You should still treat -"

The commander's hand flames and he narrows his eyes at the other firebender. Katara leans back - this is... _interesting._ And terrifying. Surely he's not going to kill Zuko  _now_  -

"You really are naive if you think that your title gives you power. I have dozens of men out there who won't even bat an eye if I strike you down right here, right now. You want to know  _why_?" The commander flicks his hand, the fire evaporates. "Because titles don't give you power. They don't give you respect. That's something you need to learn right here, right now."

Silence. Zuko's eyes are downcast, cheeks burning. Katara would take pleasure in the fact that he's been put in his place but she can't feel anything. There is also the other pressing issue. Like getting out of here. Quick -  _what would Sokka do?_

Reason. Logic. Sokka would talk to get out of this, not remain quiet.

"What do you want?" Katara breaks her silence. It's not exactly wise to direct attention back to herself but it would be something Sokka would do. And for some reason… The crazed, torn beating of Zuko's heart makes her realize that this information - these facts of life - are - well they're destroying him right now.

And she's the only one who can tear him down.  _Especially_  after he just got them into this mess.

The commander seems to remember that she's still in the tent. "I want the truth. I want to know who you are and what you're doing with the Prince."

"I explained this yesterday -"

"I think we both know that you're not really fucking him. I'm a man. If Zuko here had he certainly wouldn't be so quiet about it." He gives her a sardonic smile and leans back against the desk again. Relaxed. "So, tell me the truth. Or else you'll both pay."

"There's nothing to tell," Zuko mutters. "You already know everything."

"I'm hearing two different stories here and I want to know  _which_  is true."

Silence.

"Fine. There are other ways of making you two talk." He motions with his hand and Katara feels thick hands on the neck of her tunic, hauling her up. The big guard that had led Zuko in was now leading the both of them out.

Katara is pushed into the chest of another guard when they're by the tent's flap. She's losing her chance -

 _Wait._  "No! Fine - I'll speak.  _I'll speak!_ " She exclaims, whirling around in the guard's arm to face the commander. "I'll speak. I'll talk. The truth - everything, it's yours."

He raises an eyebrow from where he's sitting at the desk.

" _Katara_ ," Zuko hisses.

"I'll tell you whatever you want to know. I told you the truth last time but I may have left some things of importance out… Just let me explain. Let me talk, and I'll tell you  _everything._ " She ignores the Prince beside her, focusing everything on the man who  _does_  determine their fate.

"All right." He motions again with his hand and she's being led forward again. "I'm listening.  _Talk._ "

"I have worked with the Avatar in the rebellion before. The part about Zhao hunting me down for the coup is a lie. He wants me so he can find the Avatar himself before anyone else can." She swallows, tries to look as truthful and honest as she can. "But everything else was true. I can't help that the Prince isn't as boastful as you would like."

"Or maybe you're just lousy," he scoffs, "but that's none of my concern. I don't care who or  _what_  the Prince touches even if it is a tribeswoman. So you do know where the Avatar is?"

"I have some ideas. If you let me live - let me  _go_  - I can help you track him down. But you have to give me what I asked for in return. In exchange for eternal fame and the Fire Lord's favor, I want the Prince and freedom."

Zuko's heart pounds a little harder at her words. She swears she hears him - or  _someone_  behind her - gasp.

"You show me where the Avatar is in exchange for your freedom and the Prince?" The commander sits back in his chair, appraising her. "How do I know that you're not lying?"

"I don't get my end of the bargain until you get yours. But I will not be harmed in any way until then and I will  _not_  be held as a prisoner in chains."

"I'm not exactly keen on trusting you."

"Then don't," she shrugs her shoulders. "I'm not going to live the rest of my life running away from firebenders though so you won't have to worry about me trying to escape when you dangle freedom in front of me. These past few days of running have been more than enough to last a lifetime."

The commander temples his fingers again. His heartbeat is smooth - steady. She hasn't grasped him yet, hasn't won him over.

Katara tilts her chin up. "By all means, live under Zhao's shadow if that's what you wish. He's going to take full advantage of the situation and leave you in the dirt. I'm merely offering an opportunity for you to do the same. All I ask is for a little cooperation."

Amber eyes stare her down. She doesn't back away. Weakness will not work here, only strength.

One minute passes in silence. Then another. All she can hear is Zuko's pounding heartbeat mingling with her own because  _this is it_  -  _this_  is her last chance -

"Do you presume that I am a weak commander?" He asks, tilting his head to the side. "That I need to somehow  _prove_  that I am more worthy than Zhao for the honors the Fire Lord can bestow?" He rises from the seat. "What do you think my man will wonder when they see - and hear - of me  _bargaining_ with the likes of you? And all in the name of personal glory."

Katara takes a step back - no. This isn't - This isn't how this is supposed to work - she was  _sure_ , she was  _so sure_  that she could convince him - he seemed so willing the day before - !

"So unless your little plan gets something for  _them_  as well, then I don't care to listen to it any longer. My men are my priority. How Zhao handles his is no concern of mine." The commander lifts a hand and motions. Katara feels herself being dragged back again. This time, she doesn't struggle.  _She was so sure._

She stumbles a bit but she's being pushed out of the tent along with Zuko with a bit more force than necessary. Staying upright as best as she can, she bites on the inside of her cheek as confusion slams against her.  _So sure -_ she was  _so sure!_

It's all falling apart again and she has no idea how she's going to fix it up.

The guard behind her shoves her forward and she's thrown into the cell from the day before. Her back crashes against the bars and she scrambles to sit up, eyeing the men carefully as they throw the Prince in with her.

No.  _No._  They're locking her and Zuko in  _together_?

Zuko's head hits her shoulder when he's tossed in. He's slower than she is getting upright.

The doors close with a slam and Katara tries to focus on the one positive here: at least she's not tied to that damned pole again.

But that's it. That's the only positive and she has to force out a breath to remain calm. The cage.  _Again_. What is it about firebenders that make them want to keep her locked up?

The firebender at her side slides away from her and she tries to force herself to relax. When she glances over at Zuko he's glaring at her with a look so disdainful that it's almost shocking. Almost. Then she remembers what he heard in that tent and really, a look of hatred - something that's become a regular between the two - isn't that bad.

"What?" She snaps anyway.

"You were going to try to  _barter_  with them? Are you out of your mind?"

Katara scowls. "Like you wouldn't have done the same thing. Sorry that  _I_  had a chance. Not my fault that they were more interested in keeping me alive than you. Of course I was going to play that up. And - what were  _you_  thinking? Throwing around your title like it actually meant something. Are you out of  _your_  mind?"

He shifts uncomfortably and she knows that she hit a nerve there. Good. Prince could use a bit of humility in his blood.

"Look Zhao's coming to get us. That much I know." She leans forward, dropping her voice to a whisper even though she doesn't sense any other heartbeats around them. "What I also know is that your old friend wants you  _dead_."

"No. Zhao - he wouldn't even -"

"Are you seriously going to say what I think you're going to say?"

" - Zhao is a Captain of the Fire Nation. He wouldn't dare jeopardize his position by killing me."

"You are so full of yourself," she sneers and backs away. "He already started rumors that you were dead. Kidnapped and killed by me after we got off that boat."

He's quiet for a moment, absorbing it in. Katara wonders how he feels, knowing that he's going to die and there's nothing that can save him now. Zuko swallows, throat bobbing. "And just how do you know this?"

"The commander told me yesterday when I was trying to make a deal that would save both of our skins."

"Was it like the one you offered earlier? Because that one seems to only be saving  _yours_."

"I told the commander that I would kill you - that I  _wanted_ to kill you, which if we're being honest isn't that big of a lie - and in exchange, I'd give him information -  _outdated_  - about the Avatar."

"And he didn't believe you," Zuko says flatly.

"Well of course he didn't. Otherwise I wouldn't be stuck in here with  _you_."

Zuko mutters something under his breath but Katara can't even bring herself to attack him and make him repeat what he said - which was undoubtedly something about  _her._ There are bigger, more important things to worry about than his snide comments. How is she going to get out of this cell again?

Stupid commander and his slightly-honorable ways. If he had just been as self-absorbed and ambitious as Zhao was - or even a  _tiny_  bit as much - this would be no problem. She wouldn't be back in a cage and she'd get the opportunity to get as far away from the Fire Nation as possible.

She adjusts her legs and leans against the bars away from the Prince. Really - she can't even  _look_  at him right now. If he hadn't started talking about the Avatar - well...honestly after what the commander had said earlier when he rejected her plan...maybe his disdain didn't  _all_  come from Zuko - but  _still._  The Prince was the one who had planted that seed of doubt and made her look more trustworthy than before.

 _Firebenders._  All of the troubles in her life could be summed up with just that word.

Spirits, she's angry.  _Why_  does she keep getting into situations like this? First Zhao, then Zuko and now this  _commander_.

For once, she wishes that - for a moment - all of the fire commanders would be as zealous as Zhao.

She just knew she had him pegged. The man hated -  _hated_  - Zhao and she offered him the perfect opportunity to get ahead. He even seemed interested in it yesterday, yet here she was. In a cage. With Zuko. In the heat. With her arms sore and still locked at the small of her back.

"How was your deal going to help the both of us?" Zuko asks.

Katara gapes at him, caught off guard a bit by the sudden break of silence. "What?"

"Your deal. You just said that your deal would have saved both of us." He's not shying away from looking at her now -  _she's_  the one that squirms as she blinks, trying to think back to that particular point.

" _Oh_ \- right. I just told the commander that I - well - wanted to be the one to kill you after he told me what Zhao was going to do. Said that I hated you because you betrayed me - which really isn't that big of a lie - and I was just going to…  _not_  do it, I guess. Get us both out of here before then."

Now  _Zuko_ is the one who blinks. "Why? You seemed to hate me yesterday and we haven't exactly been on the best of terms up until now. Why would you make a deal that included getting me out of here?

Katara doesn't like this conversation. Not at all.

"I didn't get away from Zhao and drag you all the way through the Earth Kingdom to just let him kill you," she settles into one of the half-truths. "All of this would have been for nothing if I showed up at the Tribes empty-handed."

Silence.

Katara knows that it would  _not_  be wise if she told him the other reasons. That she pitied him because he had no idea what was coming - that it was unconscious payback for the times when he had helped her out - that the commander just assumed so she went with it - that she realized she didn't exactly hate him as much as she thought - that he's actually not half-bad.

Not wise. Not wise at all. So she settled for the half-truth that seemed appropriate. The one that she only thought of  _after_  she offered the deal to the commander - a fact that unsettles her a bit.

Zuko's back is stiffening - she doesn't know if he can tell that she's sort of lying or if he's reminding himself of their situation, of the fact that despite their shared cage, they are  _still enemies._

Katara crosses her ankles. Then she uncrosses them.

"I thought that if I told the commander of your - our - situation, he wouldn't harm you too much. I actually," he chuckles, "I actually tried to get him to let you go after you told him about the Avatar."

"You tried to save me, too?"

"Yeah." Zuko looks back up at her. "Funny, right? We both tried to save the other and only ended up screwing things over."

Well… this - this certainly...is  _interesting._

She blinks. "Why?"

Zuko shrugs. "You'd wind up with Zhao again. Those two days already gave you enough scars. You don't need any more than that."

Something weird twists in her stomach and she frowns. "Looks like we both just managed to mess everything up," she says and looks away. This side of the camp is dead and quiet. "But still, I doubt he would have ended up following through."

"Doesn't seem like it. Finally find a half-decent commander who isn't looking after his own skin and it works against us."

She can't help it - she laughs. After a moment, Zuko does the same and she almost stops because it's so  _weird_  that they're laughing together in a cage, both prisoners of the Fire Nation. And yet, it's so  _nice_  at the same time. Comfortable. Even though it shouldn't be.

But really, what else is she expecting? In a few hours, he'll be dead and she'll be back with Zhao. Then, in a few weeks or maybe even days,  _she'll_  be dead.

 _That_  sobers her up quickly and the laugh dies in her throat.

_Zuko is going to be dead._

"Weird," he chuckles but this time there is no humor, "I'm not as...upset as I thought I would be."

"About what?"

"Death - dying. It's like… I don't even think it's going to happen. But at the same time, maybe it would be okay if it did."

There's something so sad, so pathetic and horrifying in that statement and in his voice that nearly breaks her. But more than that - it  _angers_  her because that means he's giving up and he  _shouldn't_.

"Stop -  _no_  don't say things like that. You can't talk like that. It's not right - it's not  _good_."

"You and I are both out of ideas here, waterbender. You're going to Zhao and I'm going to die." He shrugs his shoulders - Katara gapes in pure  _horror_  because he seems so  _complacent_. "There's nothing we can do to change that."

"Would you listen to yourself?" She snaps. "You're giving up. You're letting  _them_  win! Damnit, fight -  _fight_. There's still a chance. Don't tell yourself that there isn't."

He looks up at her, and there's so much sadness in them that it hurts. "If what they're saying is true then I don't have anywhere to go even if I do escape. You were right -"

"No - don't even say that right now. Whatever I said - whatever it was that happened that ever made you think I was right -  _forget_  it because it - I -  _wasn't_ ," she's sliding closer to him. It's difficult because her hands are behind her back but  _Spirits_  he can't just  _give up_.

It's just - it's just not  _right_. He's a firebender - known for strength and heat - and he seems so  _cold_  now. He's so cold and it scares her because she's only known him for a few days but she feels like she knows how he should be right now. And this is not it. He should be like her - fighting back every step of the way. That's what he did to her - why not do it to them?

"Listen - Zuko -" his head snaps up when she says his name but she keeps going, "I'm not going back to Zhao. I can't - I  _won't_. I know that you like me just about as much as I like you but we need to get out of here to save both of our heads. But I can't get out of this alone - I  _need_ you to  _help_  me -  _to_   _help us._ "

She makes sure that he's looking straight into her, that he's hearing everything that she's saying because she's right - they don't mesh well and sure, they get on each others nerves and the best thing she can hope for in this is that they don't kill each other at the end - but they  _still need to work together._

Because she'll  _die_  before getting back to Zhao. And even though she just raised from hating Zuko to he's-sort-of-okay, she doesn't want to see him dead.

"So can you please -  _please_  - work with me so we can get out of this mess  _together_? Because I  _cannot_ do this on my own. Besides, you're going to die anyway. What do you have to lose?"

She holds her breath, waiting and watching the firebender. She can't read him - his eyes are still blank and even though she's staring right into them she can't pick up any hint or detection of what he's about to say. So she waits.  _Waits._

Zuko's amber eyes meet hers and he nods. "Fine. You're right. What do I have to lose that I haven't lost already?"

A smile spreads. "That's the spirit. Now, the fire commander - what do you know about him?"

-/-

The plan isn't a plan really because what sort of plan can they conjure when their hands are still behind their backs?

Zuko doesn't know who the commander is - neither of them even known his  _name_ \- and it's impossible to try to guess when and where they will be taken.

They know they can't be expected to remain in the cage forever. At some point, some guard is going to come and take them to relieve themselves or bring food and water -  _they hope_. The commander is predictable -  _both_  of their plans have failed so Zuko isn't keen on trying to make another even if they are working together this time - but he's not Zhao. He doesn't seem evil or sadistic.

The firebender Prince also doesn't show any deep understanding of how most fire commanders govern their troops. She's not really surprised - the Tribes don't really have a system set up anyway and she didn't think that Ozai would concern himself with making sure each and every camp was run in a specific way.

So basically, the plan is that there is no plan. They'll just...wait. Then fight. Zuko can bend even though his hands are behind his back and Katara...well she can kick and cause a distraction?

Katara is used to these types of plans. They're the only ones that the Rebellion can really come up with most of the time.

If they are let out during the night she'll be able to bloodbend. But that's at night  _only_. Zuko will be weaker because of the dark but she'll be stronger. If she can get the manacles off, she and Zuko just may have a chance of getting out if there are not that many guards that come to get them.

If more than three come, there will be some trouble. Two is stretching it. Bloodbending isn't exactly easy and she's not Hama.

The good thing is - the  _only_  good thing from her perspective - is that Zuko isn't giving up. Their chances are not the best. They're dismal - pathetically so. But he's going to fight and not accept the defeat with a hanging head.

Even if he is to die - and she die as well because she is  _not_  letting Zhao get his hands on her again - it doesn't matter. He's - they're - still fighting.

But she tries not to focus on the death part. If she does, it's almost admitting defeat and she's just not ready to do that yet.

Now that they're finished talking about their  _plan_  - that really shouldn't be called a plan because it isn't but it makes them both feel better since it sounds more organized and might actually work - they're just...sitting there.

She doesn't want to bicker even though that's what they normally do. But she doesn't know what to  _talk_  about either. The silence isn't comfortable either.

It's a fairly awkward time. The moments when they have to work together usually are.

"Did you know?" She asks because the question has been burning her mind and she just  _needs_  to know. "About the firebender camp - did you know?"

He looks up at her, swallows, and nods. "I knew there was one nearby."

"And?" Her voice is tight with controlled rage -  _traitor_ \- "Did you plan on us getting caught?"

"Planned? Yes. All of the camps have well-surveyed areas. Ambushed? No. No, that was a surprise."

It takes her a minute of inner wrestling before she can force herself to nod, releasing that anger because she can't hold onto it any longer if they're going to work together. But it's not until a little later when she can look at him again.

He's not going to apologize for betraying her - and really, is it betrayal? No - no it wasn't. But that doesn't make the hurt lessen any.

And to be honest, she'd be disappointed in him if he hadn't tried to make  _another_  attempt at getting the upper hand.

"Back on the ship when I had the knife - you were trying to interrogate me with tea - how did you know that I had it with me?" She asks. The question has been on her mind since that day - she frequently forgets about it but it always comes back - and well, reminiscing about the times when they despised each other is better than sitting in heavy silence.

Zuko smirks at her. "You walked funny. I noticed it the moment you came in. It was like you were afraid that you were going to stab yourself. You know you're supposed to put unfamiliar weapons on the  _outside_  of your legs, right?"

"Yeah, I guess so," she chuckles. "But to be fair, I had a good reason to keep it close."

His smile fades. "I guess you did." Another awkward pause.  _Great._  She looks away, finding the space between the bars more enticing than Zuko's lowered eyes. "I wouldn't have hurt you…  _like that_."

"What's done is done," she shrugs her shoulders. "It's practically expected even if we don't like it."

"I let my men do it sometimes," he continues as if she hasn't even spoken. "They get restless. And father - Fire Lord - he encourages it if the women aren't benders or if they're high priority prisoners."

Katara could tell him it's okay. That he shouldn't feel the guilt that she can hear in his voice. But she'd be lying and Zuko would know that she was lying. Because really, it's not okay. To be honest, it even unnerves her a little. Doesn't  _surprise_ her, but it...does make her a bit uncomfortable.

He sat by and let it happen. Heard it happen. Knew what was going on behind closed doors and yet did nothing. His hands might have been tied but...she still can't  _not_ blame him somewhat.

She blames him like she blames herself. Because the same things happen on Water Tribe ships from time to time yet she -  _no one_  - stops those either.

"Like I said: it's expected." Is what she says. And it's true. It's not accusatory or comforting. Just a cold, hard truth that makes her stomach twist. "Your uncle. He was really nice."

His shoulders relax the slightest at the change in conversation. "He's practically raised me. I left the Fire Nation with him when I was fourteen and it's been him and me ever since."

"When was the last time you were in the Fire Nation?"

"A few months ago." He shifts in his spot, legs splaying in front of him. They're a lot longer than she thought. "It was Azula's seventeenth birthday party. Iroh and I have -  _had_ \- to make stops there every few months for provisions and would stay for a week or so. I was always happy to get back on the boat though. Quieter."

"But you wanted Aang so you could return permanently?"

His lips twist into a smile. "Hadn't thought it through. And yes, I still want what is rightfully mine by birth. It will be -  _would be_  - better if I got the throne anyway. If you ever met Azula, you'd understand."

"I haven't seen the Southern Tribe - well, what's left of it anyways - since I was thirteen. Once I started bending, my dad realized I need a master. So he took me to the Northern Tribes to learn." She tucks her legs underneath her, getting into a more comfortable position. "It was also becoming more dangerous. More raids. I don't remember much except that it was really nice…. Beautiful." She smiles, tucks her head away so that he doesn't see it.

"Uncle Iroh had been to the Southern Tribes before. He used to say that if it wasn't so cold he'd live there in a heartbeat," Zuko says.

"It used to be bigger. Not quite as big as the Northern Tribes from what Gran-Gran used to say. She told me they used to have buildings and towers of ice and rivers cutting through the snow." The smile disappears and she frowns, twisting in her spot. "That was before it was - "

"Melted by fire," he finishes. Katara glances up, expecting to see fire in his eyes but there is only cold. "I - "

" - if you're going to say something stupid like 'sorry for destroying your home' then I don't want to hear it, Zuko. You weren't there and not even alive when it happened," she interrupts. "Don't feel like you have to say something just because you might die in a few hours if we don't get out of here."

"I was going to say that I wished I could have seen it…" he trails off and Katara reddens because her words sound more snappy now than they did a moment ago.

"Oh. Um...sorry."

He shrugs. "Don't be. I don't want you to feel like you have to say something just because you might end up on Zhao's ship again in a few hours."

"You know - sometimes you're kind of a jerk, Zuko." She sighs but she's smiling. What else can they do now  _but_  smile?

"Odd. You're quite the little jerk yourself."

It should be inappropriate - or at least to feel that laughing and joking  _is_  - at a time like this but...she doesn't want to just sit in heavy silence. Not now. Not when they both might very well die. Besides, this, this actual conversation in which neither one of them has blown up at the other, is actually pretty nice.

Nice enough for what could be their last.

 _Morbid_. She's starting to sound like Hahn now.

Katara looks over at the firebender. He's propped up on the bars like she is, legs splayed to the side so that she can have hers in front. The cage is small - too small for the both of them - and the pole ramming through the center isn't making anything better. They're cramped but she - they're - not uncomfortable.

She wonders why.

He's cleaner than she is. He must have gotten a decent bath the night before because his pale skin glows from his inner fire, his hair darker and richer looking. When he notices that she's staring at him, he looks over at her and she sees his amber eyes before the angry red scar.

If they make it out of this alive, she  _will_  ask him how he got it. She's asked before but he wasn't comfortable with telling her - not that she blamed him. It seems that every day in the forest was a battlefield between the two whether it was in words or in ice darts and fire balls.

Katara must have been looking for too long because he lifts his brow and she jerks her eyes away before he can say anything.

Does the scar on her back match the one on his face? She's wondered, but she's never been able to see it.

Will she ever get the chance to see it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your patience and support! 
> 
> The reasons for the delayed update is one-part timing issues (six essays in three weeks is not cool) and one-part change of heart in the direction of this story. The ending will be drastically different than originally planned. Before the change of heart, I had up to chapter 21 written, hit a snag, and then realized that what I was aiming for no longer fit in the narrative. I do feel that the new endgame and plans fit better within the tone of the story. 
> 
> Some of you may be disappointed, but I honestly feel the new direction is better. :)
> 
> Again, thank you for your support. It gives me so much motivation to keep writing! Now that I'm starting from chapter 18 on, I'll continue to need it! 
> 
> (in other news, I was hand-selected by my professors and was awarded a scholarship by my school's history department. i'm also building a roman shield in place of my 15-page final exam essay. frick ya.)


	18. Chapter 18

Somewhere in between talking about skinning animals - Zuko had asked her more questions about it because apparently, he had found it rather interesting - Katara nods off, slumping against the bars with her legs curled up to her chest and Zuko somewhere sitting in the opposite corner.

When she wakes up, it's dark. The moon is high in the sky and she blinks, reaching out again to find what it was that made her jolt awake. The firebender didn't hear it - he's still snoring softly on the opposite side of the cell. Katara sits up - difficult because her arms are numb from being restrained for so long - but she manages without bumping against the Prince.

It's too dark for her to see anything but she turns her head to look at all sides of the cage anyway. She pauses, not even breathing and for a moment she wants to wake Zuko up so he'll stop snoring because  _something_  is not right here and she can't tell -

Heartbeats. They're loud for a moment before fading away again. Multiple ones too. Steady, strong but lively - a group of young firebenders, perhaps? It's not the beating heart of a grown man, that's for sure. But the beats flicker away and then come again and she realizes that the owners are  _moving_. Weaving.

Katara perches on her knees and keeps looking - squinting,  _straining_  - because she wants to see if these weavers are friends or enemies. Either way, she wants to  _know_.

" _Zuko_ ," she hisses in a whisper. With her heel, she tries to knock against his leg to wake him up. " _Zuko_."

He murmurs something that she couldn't understand even if she tried. She knocks against him again, kicking her boot into the side of his thigh. " _We have company_ ," she mumbles.

Turning back to the outside, she shuffles closer to the bars that face the camp and strains again. If she can just -  _yes_ , they're there! The hearts are beating quicker than the ones of the sleeping guards and they're clearly excited because she can sense them even from here. But _why_  are they here?

"What?" Zuko finally seems to realize that  _something_  is happening. He sits up, kneeling by her side as he flips his hair out of his eyes -  _when had it gotten so long?_  - and looks at her. "What - can you see anything?"

"No," she shakes her head. "But there are people - awake, excited and probably younger - out there in the camp. I can't tell who they are or what they're doing here but -  _oh wait, someone's coming_."

Zuko's shoulder brushes against hers as he slides back to rest against the far barred walls. Katara shifts and leans against the side, eyes keen and sharp as she looks into the dark. She can feel someone coming - an unrecognizable, beating heart somewhere in the shadows underneath the trees.

"Well look at this," someone says - his heart picks up a bit in excitement - "looks like the Fire Nation had themselves some prisoners."

There's a loud scream in the camp, a sharp flare of fire that is quickly cut off and then there are more sounds of alarm. Loud, panicked heartbeats swarm against her and she blanches, sitting back against the bars because it was so  _sharp_  and  _sudden_.

She winces - so much  _pain_  and stopped hearts and it makes a part of her feel  _horrible_  and -

She cuts away from the sensations, blocking them out like she normally does in a battle so she doesn't have to feel the heartbeats explode into nothing.

"Katara?" Zuko's voice is at her ear, confused. Katara turns, opening her mouth to tell him that they are  _not_  along and the firebenders are under attack but then, she hears senses a few heartbeats. Zuko must hear their steps because his eyes snap away from hers to glare into the dark.

"A tribeswoman? Where did they get one of  _those_?" The person has an Earth Kingdom accent and Katara smells dirt before she looks up to see a short  _child_  peering through the bars.

"Smellerbee get away - they might be benders. That one looks like he's got fire blood," a taller boy sneers.

"We're not  _animals_ ," Katara snaps.

"Yet, you're the ones in a cage." The child blinks but takes a step back anyway. The waterbender  _thinks_  that it's a girl but she's not for sure. There's too much dirt covering the face and the clothes too big, hiding any sort of curves that would give a hint.

There's the glint of a sword and Katara's eyes shoot straight to it. The girl notices, squeezes it a bit tighter.

"We're prisoners of the Fire Nation. We're not the ones that you should be concerned with." Zuko attempts diplomacy. Ironic, considering he's the _Prince_.

Katara winces as another wave of halted heartbeats swarms. "What's going on? Who  _are_  you? Why are you -"

"Listen lady, I don't have to answer to you," the girl snarls. Yes, definitely a girl. "The best thing you can do is just sit tight and wait for Jet to come and decide what to do with you."

"Well then bring him on and let's see what he has to say." Katara narrows her eyes at the girl. The look she gives her is equally as cold. Zuko nudges at her side and when she cuts her eyes away she sees that he's glaring at her.

She huffs and turns away. She's about  _had it_ with talking. What has it gotten her? A damned cage and manacles.

The four sit - the two outside of the cage stand but that doesn't really matter - in tense silence. Every now and then, Katara winces from the flashes of fire and heat before another heart is cut down. The two in front of her don't seem to be benders, so who are they?

The girl glares at her and Zuko. The boy seems to be ignoring them but Katara can see that his eyes are too aware for that.

Katara is trying to find a more comfortable position when the two snap upright and turn. She pauses, thinking that it might be a firebender because she can now detect another heartbeat coming towards them - calm so she has to reach out to hear it - but the two don't tighten their grips on their weapons.

"So, what we got?"

"A tribeswoman and a nationer." The boy gestures back to the cage.

Katara hates cages more than anything. How...How  _undignified_.

"Arrested one of their own?" A taller boy finally comes into view, hook swords swinging from his hands and he's just as dirty as the other two. Dark skin, dark hair, dark eyes. He's Earth Kingdom. His eyes flicker over Zuko before resting on her, and she lifts a brow in a challenge as he kneels to be level with them. "What's a tribeswoman doing all the way down here?"

"What are you doing in a Fire Nation camp?" She lifts her chin haughtily. He's cute - but he's not  _that_  cute.

The boy in question smiles. Katara's stomach flutters and yes - he might be that cute. "Looks like I'm rescuing you."

"Don't recall ever needing someone to rescue me. But now that you're here, you might as well let us out."

The boy -  _man_ , young man - whom she assumes is Jet because he seems to be the leader chews on the inside of his cheek before he nods and stands. He hooks one of the curved ends of his sword on a bar and  _pulls_. It pops off, leaving just enough room for Katara to slide through and then Zuko.

Katara's back is a little stiff as she stands but she manages. What she really needs is to get those manacles  _off_  so her arms can get some feeling again.

"Thanks," she mumbles and tugs at her wrists. "Wouldn't know how to get these things off, would you?"

"Turn around and let's see." Jet winks at her. She rolls her eyes - because  _honestly_  - but turns anyway. Fingers brush against the bare skin of her palm before she feels a grip on the manacles. "Bender cuffs. This  _might_  hurt a bit. Try not to squeal too loudly."

"Oh, I'm sure it'll -  _ow!_ Spirits, what was  _that_?" Katara yanks her wrists in front of her - her arms feel a bit heavy and still sting from whatever he did to get the cuffs off - and starts rubbing some heat back in them. Her skin is angry and red where the cuffs were and she feels the sting of healing already starting now that blood is flowing a bit better.

Katara turns back around and scowls at Jet. He smirks, one corner of his mouth lifting and it's a bit unnerving...and rather adorable - no, adorable would  _not_  be the right word to use.

Behind him, Zuko is shifting uncomfortably. His cuffs are still on. "Are you going to undo his?"

"He's got fire blood." Smellerbee shakes her head. "Wouldn't be smart to just let someone from the  _Fire Nation_  just roam free."

"He'll stay in the cuffs," Jet confirms.

"Why? You let  _me_  free."

"You're not the enemy. Besides, he could be a bender. Not a risk I'm willing to take."

Katara rolls her eyes. "He was in the cage for a reason and who does he have to turn to here? Just let him go."

"Sorry, Tribal Girl." Jet swings his hooked swords in his hands and starts backing away, something weird glinting in his eyes. "Got people to protect. He'll be better off dead, anyway."

Zuko stiffens, arms moving out of habit so that he can protect himself from the Earth boy.

Katara's eyes widen and she moves to stand in between Jet and Zuko - a rather  _odd_  position because she's not used to actually  _standing up_ for the Fire Prince but Jet killing him would be just  _wrong_. "you're  _not_  killing him."

Smellerbee shifts forward, grip on her sword tight. " _You're_  not calling the shots here."

"And neither are  _you_ ," Katara snaps. "He's not going to do anything that would hurt you. Let him free and we'll be on our way."

"Rude way to repay your rescuers." Jet frowns but quickly covers it up with that smirk. It's almost as annoying as Zuko's smile.  _Almost_. "You know that we're practically surrounded by more fire camps, right? One wrong step and you're in a cage  _again_."

"I think we can manage," she says sternly. Katara stares the leader down, tense jaw matching his as his eyes narrow.

"Jet -" Smellerbee steps forward. The distrusting glance she has locked on Katara doesn't go unnoticed, but the waterbender has eyes only for the leader.

"Fine," Jet interrupts what the girl-child was about to say. Shocked, the girl pulls back, swerving to glare at her leader as Katara lets out a relaxed breath. "We'll let him go.  _But_  we're keeping an eye out on you two. You're going to need a guide through these woods if you want to make it out."

"Fine." Katara puts her hands on her hips. "I'm guessing  _you're_  going to be the guide?"

One corner lifts in a smirk that makes her stomach jump. "Wouldn't want to miss out, of course."

Jet walks forward - shoulder brushing hers and how  _dare_  he keep trying to touch her even if he does feel solid and a little nice - and slices through Zuko's manacles. The firebender's face is a solid mask and when Katara turns to face him, he rubs at his tender wrists.

"Here," she offers, stepping forward and twisting her fingers. She draws water from the sweat beading along her forehead and his and presses her fingers against his wounds. They're raw from the metal.

Zuko tenses but doesn't move while the water glows as she works the healing into his skin. A moment later and they're healed completely. Smooth, pale skin again.

Jet whistles. "Looks like we got ourselves a waterbender. Say, you got that  _etching_  thing, right? Care to show. I've always wanted to know what they looked like."

She looks up at Zuko -  _he's looking down at her_  - and she's still touching his hands. A beat, silent. Then she blinks and drops them, turning to give Jet a look that could make plants wither as Zuko crosses his arms over his chest.

"I need to get to Ba Sing Se," Katara declares with as much authority as she can. Smellerbee is looking at her and Zuko like they're scum - the rest of Jet's boys look like they're more concerned with the blood dripping from their weapons than anything.

Jet flicks his wrists, hooks now resting on his shoulders and he shrugs. "Might want to read the commander's personal notes first. Rumor is that the Fire Nation camps are starting to shift deeper and deeper into Earth Kingdom territory."

"The interior?" Zuko asks, confused. "But they've always stayed on the coasts."

"Exactly. Don't know what's happening but it's  _something_. Thought you'd might know since you're one of them."

Zuko ignores this. "Did you keep any of the soldiers alive?"

"We don't keep hostages," Jet sneers, but then he smiles. It's everything that makes something in Katara's gut twist and nausea rise to her throat and her eyes narrow as something familiar and unwelcome shows in their new ally's eyes:  _bloodlust_.

Zuko makes a sound of disgust and Jet raises a brow, challenging. Smellerbee's fingers play along the edge of her sword.

"Hey, Jet! Quit fuckin' around - we got somethin' over here!" Another girl calls from somewhere in the camp. Jet's eyes check over Zuko - like an Alpha sizing up a potential usurper - before he turns towards the tents.

Katara glances over at Zuko and sees he's glaring into Jet's back, something tight in his jaw.

"What is it?" Their new ally calls out towards the tents.

"Like I fuckin' know? Get your scrawny ass over here and see for yourself!" Is the reply, earning nothing more than a light chuckle.

Jet starts walking, motions for them to follow. Smellerbee slips in behind Katara and Zuko - the waterbender can feel the holes being burned into her back - and she hopes that they'll be able to get seperated from this rag-tag group led by this...this psycho.

Katara keeps her eyes on the leader's back, sizing him up. He's strong. Broad shoulders, lean build. When she reaches out to brush against his blood, she feels it's strength -  _his_  strength. It will take a lot of bring him down, if it comes to that.

Not to mention his followers.  _Smellerbee_.

They make it to the commander's tent, Jet striding through the flap and she catches a glimpse of the commander's body in his bed before she enters and sees it completely.  _Red_  - so much red. She forces herself to look away.

A shorter, stocky girl with pale eyes is sitting at the desk, her feet bare and arms over her chest. When they all come inside, she perks. "The two strangers -  _benders_. Who are they?"

Jet glances over her shoulder at Zuko and Katara. "Found them in a cage over on the edge of the camp. Prisoners. Said they needed to get to Ba Sing Se."

The girl snorts. "What are we? Personal guides? They can get their on their own." She sniffs - Jet gives her a glare but she doesn't seem to notice - "If they don't make it then they don't deserve to."

Katara's eyes narrow. " _Excuse_ me? We didn't ask for your help. If was  _forced_  on us. We can make it out of here just fine."

"Yeah. Which is how you two got yourselves  _caught_  in the first place."

The waterbender's jaw tighten, blood running cold, and she jerks forward, hands balling into fists because  _how dare_  -

\- Zuko's hand snaps forward, grabbing onto hers and she stops. When she whirls her head around to glare at him for  _touching_  her, he frowns and shakes his head.

Katara sighs through her nose. Then she jerks her arm out of his grasp and places her hands on her hips, turning back to glare at the girl.

Jet chuckles. Arms crossed over his shoulder, he kicks away from the cot where he  _was_  looking at the commander before Katara nearly though her little fit and slides over to the desk. "So, Toph, what we got?"

"Read it yourself, would ya? Or do I have to keep  _reminding_  you."

Curious, Katara reaches out, lets her touch slide across the girl's blood to see how strong she is - and she almost jerks back. A bender - strong one too. Probably Earth given the accent. She has lots of raw, hardy power that surprises Katara, given the girl's little size.

She  _really_  needs to learn how to not be surprised by people.

Smellerbee steps around her - purposefully hitting her shoulder - or  _arm_  really because Katara is a lot taller than her - and the waterbender fixes the back of the girl's head with a glare.  _Great_  - she's dealing with children here.

Jet and Smellerbee rummage through documents that are lying spread out on the desk, making a few noncommittal noises. Every now and then, they'll show one to the other before putting it away and looking at another.

" _Bingo_. Correspondence about the Northern Tribes right here," Jet smiles but for some reason, it still likes any humor. It only makes something sliver down her spine. "Hahn's going to love this."

 _What_. "Hahn? Did - Did you just say  _Hahn_?" Katara steps forward as Jet looks up, an eyebrow cocked. " _Hahn_  as in the Northern Water Tribe warrior?"

The leader exchanges a look with Toph and Smellerbee before his eyes flicker back to her. "Yeah - why? You know him?"

" _Know_  him? I've served with him. How do  _you_  know him?"

Jet cracks a smile at her and gestures to the papers on the desk. "We've been supplying your little rebellion with information for the past two years. You didn't think a guy like Hahn could get all that by himself, did you?"

"Well -  _no_." She blinks. Truthfully, it never occurred to her that they had been getting secrets from the camp raiders. She always assumed it had come from sacking the offices from the camps that the warriors sacked themselves.

Katara strides forward, bridging the gap between she and the desk and starts looking through the papers. This time, Smellerbee doesn't even blink before she reaches out and grabs onto the waterbender's arm, pushing her away like she's nothing. Oh  _no_  she didn't.

The waterbender twists her fingers and  _pushes_ her away. A slow, lazy smile slides across her face as her eyes watch the girl who  _dared_  touch her. "I wouldn't lay a hand on me again if I were you."

Smellerbee's eyes widen for an instant before she narrows them again. "What- What was  _that_? What  _are you_? Jet - she can't - "

" - oh, I  _can_  - "

" - she's  _dangerous_! She just - she just  _reached inside me_!"

She misses the look Zuko gives her.

Katara ignores her, looking down at the desk again and sliding her fingers over a few pages. It's all here - Fire Nation schedules and correspondence right here, at her disposal. With this, what could she accomplish? Was this the reason that the rebellion was getting some sort of foothold on the Fire Nation?

Jet, for his part, doesn't move to stop her as her eyes scan down the parchments. At her other side, Smellerbee's heart is racing with anger and the girl in front - Toph - has a wry, loose smile like she's more than amused.

What a  _strange_  group.

"Hahn always talked about some waterbenders who reached inside other people," Jet humors and she glances up at him in time to catch his smirk. "Always thought he was crazy. Guess he wasn't after all."

"No, Hahn  _is_  crazy. He just happened to be telling the truth." Katara's eyes land on a letter from Zhao and she scans over it. It's written in the Fire language - something she only knows a little of - but she thinks she can make out the words  _ship_  and  _attack_. She picks it up and turns to hand it out to Zuko. "What does it say? It's from Zhao."

Zuko takes it, steps closer to get to the light and reads. "It's about us - the ship." He looks up at her for a moment, then down at the paper again, eyes wide. "Un -  _Iroh_  - freed you out of your cell and you kidnapped me. Zhao says that I'm dead somewhere in the woods from wounds sustained in the fight and for all fire camps to keep a sharp eye for you. You're not to be harmed - only contained."

He swallows, continuing. "If I am found to be alive then it's proof that I am disloyal to my nation and the Father Lord. This...is a death warrant. For me."

Zuko looks up at Katara. She doesn't have anything to say - because what  _can_  she say? She reaches out, puts a hand on his shoulder because it's the only thing that she can think of doing.

She steps closer, reading over his shoulder to see if she can recognize any more words. Her and Zuko do have some sort of agreeing peace at the moment, but she still isn't sure how far either one of them is willing to stretch that. Yes, he's upset about the letter, but... _oh_  this is confusing.

"Does it say anything about Lee?" She whispers.

The firebender rolls the letter back up, turns to look at her. "Iroh and another traitor who helped him have been taken to the Fire Nation to await their trial. They're being charged with treason."

She knows by the tone in his voice and the look in his eye what being charged with treason means. And it makes her spine so cold that she's worried it will snap if she moves.

"What are they talking about?" Katara won't even look past Zuko to glare at Smellerbee because she can't pull herself out of the hurt that it in his eyes. He's - He's growing cold again. Steeling himself. "What are they -  _Jet_  - what are they talking about?"

She tries to convey that she's sorry. Maybe he will understand that, maybe he won't. But his head droops just slightly and his shoulders slacken but his hand with the letter tenses and he's - oh, he's in so much  _pain_ , she can tell.

"Hey - you two - what are you talking about?" Smellerbee directs her tantrum to them now that Jet won't answer. Katara winces, but slides her eyes right over to the stout girl and fixes her with an icy cold glare.

"If we wanted for  _you_  to know, we would have  _told_  you. Clearly it's none of your concern." Katara forces between clenched teeth because this girl is  _really_  grating at her.

Smellerbee's eyes narrow. But she thins her lips and settles on a glare rather than a retort.

Katara looks to Jet. "When will you take these correspondences to Hahn?"

The leader reaches up, scratches the back of his neck and shrugs his shoulders. "We were planning on meeting within the next few days. If I had known you knew the guy, would have told you about that sooner. Lot shorter trip than to Ba Sing Se."

"Why would you go to Ba Sing Se?" Toph asks. "Don't you know that place is swarming with fire camps all around? You'd never be able to get through that."

"Doesn't matter anymore. We need you to take us to Hahn."

Jet nods. "Can do. Hate that you won't be sticking around longer though."

Katara resists the urge to wash the smirk off his face.

-/-

Jet has his band of Freedom Fighters -  _his term, not hers_  - gather all of the letters and stash them as neatly as possible in a trunk that had held liquor. The liquor, Jet takes for himself with a grin and even tosses Katara a bottle of fire ale, which she catches rather clumsily.

She finds her bag with their things in the commander's tent and Zuko gets her a clean outfit from one of the soldier's tents. She doesn't ask who it belongs to. Doesn't matter anymore, she supposes. The man is dead. Someone might as well use their things.

The crew raid the camp of anything worth taking back and then they're on their way, Jet leading them into the forest. Katara and Zuko follow, Toph somewhere at their side. It takes them a few miles before Katara realizes that the powerful bender at her side is actually  _blind_.

It's in the way she moves - her bare feet are sure where they touch the ground, but the girl never looks down. It's as if she can sense where she's going without even trying. She just... _goes_.

Katara, on the other hand, stumbles every now and then on twigs, loose underbrush, and fallen trunks. She's tired, weak from lack of food other than the few apples Zuko gave her from the commander's room. Her arms are still sore from being shackled and tied up to the post.

"We're not too much farther from the port," Jet says and smirks at her. He's perched up against a tree, a piece of grass stuck between his teeth. Katara is taking Zuko's hand after slipping on a pile of wet leaves.

She scowls at their guide, withdraws her hand from the firebender. "Thanks," she murmurs and brushes off the grass on her knees. Wet leaves stick to her boots.

Zuko nods at her and looks away when she turns back to Jet. His own eyes narrow at Jet - looks like they're both a little uneasy about their new temporary ally. Makes sense for him to feel that way. Jet wanted to keep  _him_  in the shackles like an animal. So why does she feel a churning in her gut around him?

Katara eyes their leader's back as he turns around. She'll need to watch him - she isn't entirely too sure if she can trust him or not. She  _barely_  trusts Hahn and isn't sure if he is the best judge of character.

The firebender steps closer - she can feel the heat radiating off his skin and warming her naturally cooler nature - and turns her head just so that he can bend down close to her ear. She fights to drown the shiver that threatens to radiate down her spine.

Just because he isn't her enemy anymore  _doesn't mean_  that she should...react to him like that. Like this.

"Think we can trust him?" He whispers against her ear. His breath caresses her cheek, flutters her loose hair that has fallen from her braid.

The waterbender turns up to look at him. Shrugs because she doesn't know the answer herself. "Hahn does - but I'm not too sure about Hahn, either," she confesses what she just started thinking. "He and I are not on the best of terms. Never have been. But he's a decent soldier."

"I know  _I_  of all people shouldn't say this but…" Zuko blinks and his cheek turns pink - well, the cheek that isn't scarred and mottled, "I'd rather not run into another trap."

Katara nods. "I know. Neither do I." She looks back at the leader, throws a cautious glance to the blind earthbender, leans closer to Zuko so that those around them might not hear them. "If it starts looking like it may be another ploy then we'll have to get out."

"We?" Zuko blinks. Katara blanches - what? did she...did she read too much into this? Since when did  _she_  and  _he_  run into  _we_? Oh  _Spirits_  she's in trouble.

"I - " she starts to stammer, turns as red as his Fire Nation colors and jerks away. Never has her blood ran so warm without being attacked.

"It's okay," he assures her, the corner of his mouth lifting up into a small smile, "I rather like the sound of that. Funny how one night in the cage can change things."

Katara's chuckle is a little less secure. She wraps her arms around her midsection and sighs. "Yeah.  _Funny_."

But it isn't - this is  _dangerous_. She can take him as an ally but...she has a feeling that she dabbling more treacherous territory. Territory that would probably bring more trouble for both her and him than having him as a simple ally will.

She looks over just in time to see his quirked smile shift into a tight frown - it's for a moment because then he turns his head away - and she wonders if it's because he was just thinking the same thing.

Allies do not have to be friends.

Zuko hasn't even decided what he wanted to  _do_  yet. She hasn't talked to him about how he felt about Zhao's betrayal; about the commander's words; about his potential execution just because it suited everyone's plans better.

He never mentioned how anyone would miss him. Katara wonders if anyone  _would_. And that thought makes her more sad than anything. Everyone deserves to be missed...even firebenders with Fire Nation loyalties.

Wait - Zuko left with her. He  _abandoned_  the Fire Nation camp.

"What are you going to do now?" She asks, looking at him from the corner of her eye. There's a tightness in her chest, anxiousness twisting her stomach.

It's a while before Zuko answers. She almost asks again because she doesn't know if he hear her or not. But then, he does.

"I don't know. I can't go home. Or what I  _thought_  was my home. I can't - can't  _ever_  go back to the Fire Nation." He lifts a hand and twists his fingers into his hair. "I don't - I don't know yet...haven't thought it through."

She looks at him. Because she has a feeling that what he needs right now is someone who just  _listens_.

And she can do that. She can do that for him.

"Right now, the only thing that hasn't really let me down is you. Funny, because just two days ago, I was going to turn you over to the Fire Nation and you had an ice blade to my throat." He laughs, short and throaty with no apparent humor in it but it's okay because she  _understands_. She's just as confused as she is about this new alliance among enemies.

"I'm not saying that I'll fight the Fire Nation with you. They're still my people. But...maybe I can stick around a bit longer until I can find somewhere where I can go and figure everything out." He glances over at her.

"I can't promise that you'll be accepted. You are Fire, we are Water." She swallows - this isn't going to be easy. "But I'll do everything I can to buy you some time. Part of this is my fault. The only thing I can do is help you fix it."

"At this point, that's all I can ever hope for." Then, he reaches out, fingers touching her arm and they both stop so he can face her -  _truly_  face her - as comrades do. "Thank you."

Katara swallows again. Her throat is dry. "Don't mention it."

 _Please_  - don't.


	19. Chapter 19

The moon falls into the sky and the sun takes it's place.

A night of traveling. A night of tense silence and disapproving glares being flickered across everyone traveling in the small band that Jet leads through the forest. Zuko has slipped three times; Katara five because her knees are still shaking and her arms feel heavy.

Each time she slips, Zuko's hand reaches out to grab onto her shoulder. When he slips, her fingers lace into the sleeve of his shirt because that's the only thing she can reach since she's been distancing herself further and further away from his warmth.

Jet's  _Freedom Fighters_  don't look at them except to give them cautious glances. They trust them just as much as Zuko and Katara trust the younger soldiers.

Their leader, however, seems perfectly content with slowing down every once and a while to chat. Mostly with Katara. His nose wrinkles every time he looks at the firebender. That seems fine with Zuko though - he tenses at the other's presence and looks straight ahead with a terse frown. His scar seems to glow, a trick of the eyes, Katara knows.

"So - that  _etching_ ," Jet asks, his eyebrows dancing and eyes glinting, "got one?"

Katara rolls her eyes. " _Look_ , if you know that all waterbenders have etches, then you already know the answer to that question."

"...So can I see it?"

"No. My tribal customs isn't something for you to gawk at." Katara shoots him a glare. He's handsome - but  _clueless_. "Shouldn't you be leading the group? I'd hate for us to get lost."

Jet looks up at the head of their little line where Smellerbee is hacking through limbs and bushes. "She's got it. She likes the responsibility." Then he looks back down at her. "Besides, I wouldn't let us get  _lost_ _ **.**_ Why? Are you  _worried_? Should I stay back here to  _ease_  your _comfort_?"

The smile he gives her makes her skin feel like slime. She sneers, turning away.

"So that  _bending_  thing you did - I'm pretty sure I said that Hahn had mentioned it before, right? - what  _is_  it?" He asks, sounding somewhat intrigued as he leans closer. This time, his eyes are nothing but curious. "Hahn called it  _witchcraft_."

Zuko tenses at the words. Katara scoffs. "Of course he would. Hahn is threatened by any woman who shows even an ounce of skill in bending."

"Noted."

"And it's not  _witchcraft_. It's...a style of bending that was inspired by the Southern waterbenders. One of my masters developed it in her youth."

" _Interesting_ ," he hums and straightens. Katara sneaks a glance over at the firebender a little to her right and sees that his shoulders haven't relaxed any. "So have you used it a lot? On any  _enemies_? Tortured them with their own blood."

 _That_  makes her snap her head back around, eyes widening in disbelief  _because he just went there_. Zuko sputters and for some reason, a wave of guilt passes through her that makes her startle.

She has, she reckons.  _She has_  used her bending for torture. And one of those tortured was her new ally.

But there's something in Jet's eyes that makes her stop from answering. He's unsettling...eyes too wide, too bright for this kind of topic. And those words - he said them too easily, too greedily, for her to just give him a simple answer and be done with it.

He doesn't want to know for his own curiosity.  _No_ , he wants to know for his own pleasure as well. Once upon a time, knowing that she could instill fear in the hearts of her enemies would have made her proud. But now that one of those enemies subjected to her special bending was actually an  _ally_  - someone she actually sort of  _liked_  - it's different.

So different.

That didn't stop her from using it so casually on Smellerbee though.

Katara tightens her jaw and looks away. Her head hangs and shoulders slack. Jet seems to understand that she's not going to give him his gratification. He huffs, picks up speed, and quickens his pace to match Smellerbee's up ahead.

"Don't beat yourself up over it," Zuko says. She's jolted enough that she actually  _jumps_  before she looks at him, surprised that he even commented - and even  _more so_  once realizing what he  _said_. "We've all done... _horrible_  things."

Katara wraps her arms around herself, tucking her hands up underneath her elbows and shrugs. Because really - what can she say? That yes, she can feel - but hasn't seen - the huge expanse of scarred skin on her back from Zhao? That she passed out numerous times from the firebender's - Zhao, and even Zuko -  _interrogations_?

Does  _any_  of that make it better?

Zuko's jaw is firm when he speaks again. "You told me to never apologize for hurting you one night. You said that things like that happened in war. Well, I'm telling you the same thing now."

She frowns, looking away. She had forgotten about that night. After she had purposefully infuriated him just to see how far she could push him. His guilt afterwards, her anger at his guilt because… it made her feel worse about herself.

"What if I was wrong then. What if we  _should_  apologize for the hurt we cause others."

"Even in times of war?"

She nods, slowly. "Even in times of war."

He pauses. Katara stares into Jet's back as he talks over something with Smellerbee. Up ahead, Toph is laughing with one of the boys.  _A strange group_ \- had they ever apologized to anyone? Did they feel any guilt for obliterating the Fire camp just hours before?

"Then I owe a lot of people an apology. I wouldn't know where to start," Zuko says. "But I guess I could start with you."

The waterbender jerks her head around to look at him. He's staring ahead, but turns to meet her eyes. There's something in them - something  _true_  that makes his apology more startling than when he actually said it.

 _Oh_. He's ready. Wants to make this friendship or  _whatever_  official between them.

But  _she's_  never apologized. And there's far too many things that she would have to apologize for.

She's not sure if she wants to even acknowledge some of her actions, much less hold herself accountable for them. And she doesn't know if she  _can_.

Katara looks away, silent. Like he never spoke. Like he didn't just look at her in a way that made her start to think about all of the horrible things in her life - that his glance  _almost_  made her forget them at the same time.

He looks disappointed.

But he doesn't move away.

-/-

"What's the Fire Nation like?" She asks when they take a short break to eat. Katara nibbles on an apple, sitting facing Zuko with her knees  _almost_  touching his. Zuko has papaya juice around his mouth and he wipes it away with the back of his sleeve.

"Hot. Our winters are mild, our summers fierce. But the beaches are absolutely beautiful. The building tops shine like gold year round and the markets smell like fruit gardens in the spring." He smiles, picking at the skin of his fruit. "The cities are always busy with people but the countryside...it's so  _peaceful_  there."

"The beaches? Is the water warm there?" Katara shifts her torso forward. She's only been to the rocky shores of the Earth Kingdom beaches. She never got a chance to see the Fire Nation's famous white sands and crystalline blue water.

"Yes. You could probably swim in it year round, if you wanted. The sand likes to stick to everything but it's fun." He looks up at her through the shade of his dark hair. "Maybe some day...you might get to see it."

The waterbender straightens, pulls her knees to the side so that they're closer to the rock she's perched on. "No, I - I don't think I'll ever get that chance. Not unless...I'm part of an invasion or something. But that probably won't happen." She shakes her head, braid flopping on her shoulder, and takes a bite to distract herself.

"Why not? I admit, I'm not  _fond_  of the idea of you storming my homeland, but why  _wouldn't_  they include you in the invasion force? The Southerns do not exactly have their pick of waterbenders."

"When we joined with the Northerners a few years ago, some of their practices became ours," Katara explains and now it's her turn to pick at her apple skin. "I do strictly border protection. Some small skirmishes every now and then but the Northerners - they don't like female soldiers. Don't trust them."

"The Fire Nation prides itself on having female firebending soldiers."

She laughs weakly. Ironic because that  _used_  to be the only thing she liked about the Fire Nation. Wait -  _what_?

"My father didn't want me fighting anyway. I'm also the only chance they have at preserving the Southern bending arts. Hama - she's old now. Someone will need to teach new benders of the Southern Style so that our heritage doesn't get lost."

"And you're the only one." It's not a question - his tone is flat. But she nods anyway, looking up at him while she does it to remind him that it  _is_  the Fire Nation's fault that she's almost alone. The Last of the Southern Benders until the war somehow ends and babies can be born.

He frowns again. Tight and tense and throws what's left of his papaya on the ground.

"Alright - let's go." Smellerbee comes over to where they sit, hand poised on top of her sword and eyes narrowed. Katara wonders if they're always like that, or if they just do that when she's around them.

The waterbender stands, tossing her apple core to the side and picks up the sack at her feet. The shorter girl makes a point to brush the sharp edge of her shoulder against her chest when she passes, a scowl sent her way and Katara thinks that they better get to Hahn soon. She doesn't know if she can sit by patiently with this girl any longer.

"How much longer until we get to the port?" Katara asks Jet when they set out on their way. The young man with the hooked swords turns, walking backwards next to Smellerbee and shrugs his shoulders.

"About a day. Not too long now. We'll camp tonight and be there by midday tomorrow." He flicks his wrists in circles, swords arcing and he looks over Katara's shoulder where Zuko is. "Ready to meet up with the rebels,  _firebender_? Have to say I'm pretty interested in seeing how they react to  _you_."

Zuko's silence speaks for itself.

Katara stiffens but she doesn't say anything. Zuko can fight his own battles, if he wishes. But the words twist at her gut and she sends their leader a glare. He smirks at her in return before flipping back forward and walking on.

"How do we always manage to come across such  _fine_  company?" Zuko whispers.

"Must be you." She glances over her shoulder at him, smiling because he's smiling at her.

"No," he comes up beside her, "I'm pretty sure it has to be you. That earthbender boy - "

" _Haru_ ," she corrects.

" _Haru_ ," he amends. "The commander, and now  _him_." Zuko nods at Jet's back.

"Like I said, must be you. I didn't come across such  _fine company_  until you came along. We tribespeople pride ourselves on being wonderful company."

They're joking. They're walking in a jungle - towards an uncertain firebender's future - and they're joking.

Katara thinks that their... _friendship? alliance?_  is probably the strangest thing that has happened in this entire war.

She clears her throat and looks away. A repeat of their conversation yesterday. Zuko seems to get the picture and looks away, too. A few steps later and he falls back behind her again.

When she checks back at their leader again, he's watching her. And his eyes - they're something in them that make her stomach curl. Whenever she catches Zuko looking at her, her stomach does that  _twist_  thing, too.

Except...it feels a whole lot better when it's Zuko. She doesn't mind it nearly as much.  _Likes_  it, even, which is strange. She's never liked people looking at her. It always feels like they're  _judging_ her, as if picking her apart from the outside in by starting with her skin.

But when Zuko looks at her - well...she's not sure  _what_  he's doing. And to be honest, she really doesn't care.

She isn't as bothered with his stare as she should be.

When the sun falls again, Katara's legs are weak and she desperately needs a bath. She excuses herself from the group, pocketing the little bit of soap that still remains in their bag and darts through the trees toward the river.

She waits to strip off the tunic and leggings until she's in the water, tossing the soggy clothes on the grassy bank before submerging into the water completely.

It's the first time since she's bathed in a while so she takes her time. When finished with the soap, she throws it on top of her clothes and just sits in the water. Her element washes over her skin and she sighs, letting her eyes droop close and her shoulders to slide into a slack.

 _This_  is what she has needed -  _this._  Just lying back,  _feeling_  and not thinking about anything other than the water around her skin, her hair free from it's braid and hanging around her shoulders, face bare to the moon.

There's nothing. No Fire Nation, no war, no Freedom Fighters, no bending, no firebender - no  _feelings_ , no confusion… no Zuko.

Zuko. It's strange, thinking about him. When she first met him on the ship when she was with Zhao, she  _hated_  him because of who he was. She hated him for a while - or did she?

She kept  _telling_  herself to hate him...but did she really?

Whichever the answer to that was, she doesn't hate him now that's for sure.

And even  _not_  hating the firebender is weird. Because he's with the Fire while she's with the Water. And now he's so  _messed up_  with his father and Zhao and his apparent  _death_  that she doesn't think she could  _ever_  truly hate him like she did before again.

They've been through so much.  _So damn much_. And he's changed...has she? Probably. Will Sokka and her father recognize her when she gets back? Sangok? Hama and Pakku?

_Will she recognize herself?_

With Lee, Iroh, Zuko, and even the  _commander_  from the Fire Camps, Katara isn't sure  _what_  to believe anymore. They were all... _decent_. Lee and Iroh even  _kind_  when they didn't have to be. It went against  _everything_  - everything she had ever  _known_  and  _thought_.

And now she was allies with Zuko. Maybe even... _friends_ even though she tried so hard not to be. They even joked with each other,  _laughed_.

The time in the forest with Zuko before he ultimately betrayed her - let her walk right into a Fire Camp - may have changed her more than she thinks. How many times did she catch herself letting go?  _Smiling_  at him and him smiling at her - conversations that led to more truths and pain than anything?

Everything was so raw and real with him. It hurt, thinking about it. Like heated sand on her skin that she can feel.

She's so...so  _confused_  because according to everything that she's grown up by, they shouldn't even be civil to one another - shouldn't even be  _able_ to. But they are. And for some reason, she doesn't regret that.

She doesn't regret the few weeks she's spent with him. All the pain, all the hurt -  _everything_. She doesn't regret any of it.

And for some reason, that makes her heart hang heavy and flutter lightly in her chest.  _Spirits,_ she's so confused right now.

Katara sits back on the sand, her waist and feet in the water and her knees pulled up to her chest. She rubs her face with her hand because  _dammit_  - she doesn't know  _what's_ going on and she  _can't_ figure it out.

Regretting everything - or not being so  _fond?_  of Zuko would make everything so much easier.

"Thinking, Sweetcakes?" Katara whirls around, one hand across her chest to cover herself and the other raised, posing for strike because  _someone_  was spying on her and they were going to regret it.

Wide leaves shift. The blind earthbender emerges, as quiet as the water that's settling back down around her. Katara pauses, then lowers her arm. Toph doesn't  _seem_  like she's looking for a fight…

The earthbender strips down as well, Katara turns away even though the girl doesn't seem to be modest at all. Then, there's a bunch of splashes and the girl plops down beside her, sighing as she digs her toes into the sand.

"Mind if I join you?" She asks, blinking her milky, pale blue eyes at the waterbender.

"I guess not."

"It's not good to go off by yourself." Toph reaches up and pulls her dark hair out of the bun. It's short, gracing the tops of her shoulders in a jagged cut.

"Why? I can take care of myself. And Jet said that there weren't any Fire Camps nearby."

Toph snorts. "It's not firebenders I'm worried about - not even the one  _you're_  carrying around."

"Then what?" Katara lifts a brow - what's the girl getting at?

She sighs. "Look, Jet's a  _swell_  guy and all but...he's... _not exactly all there_. I don't think he'd  _try_  anything because of that stunt you pulled with Smellerbee back at the Camp, but he's not above scaring you a bit. Dude has issues."

"Trust me, it'd take a lot more than him to scare me."

"Don't doubt it. Heard they found you in a cage at the Camp and before that, you were on Zhao's ship. Now I've heard some stories about  _him_." Toph kicks her head back, stares up at the moon - except, she can't  _see_  it...right? - and huffs out a breath. "But I'm just saying. Watch out for him. And watch your little pet. Jet  _hates_  firebenders."

"He's not my  _pet_ ," Katara says. "He's - he's...an ally."

" _Just_  an ally?"

Katara responds by  _not_  responding to  _that_. "If you don't trust Jet, why are you still with him?"

The earthbender shrugs and leans back on her palms. "Better than living with my family. I've always wanted to  _do_  something -  _anything_. Jet's Fighters gave me that chance to be more. I have too much energy to sit at home, too much power than to simply become someone's wife."

"But you don't trust him."

"Do you trust everyone you fight alongside with? And I mean _everyone_."

Katara shifts. "I...guess not."

"Hahn talked about your special bending before. Said you learned how to be a witch from an older witch."

" _Witch_." She shakes her head. "Hahn's never liked me. He  _really_  didn't like me after I learned how to bloodbend."

"Yeah, he's not overly fond of me either. I think he just has a thing against women. Must be a Northern Tribe thing. But -  _anyway_ \- he said that you were only allowed to use it in...certain situations."

Katara tenses. "Yes. That part is true."

" _Sick_. And not in a good way. Your bending is your bending - you should use it when you want to, not when you're told to."

She doesn't reply. Doesn't know  _how_  to reply.  _Can_  she reply to that? Would she be betraying her people if she admits that she agrees with Toph?

Then it clicks.  _Haru_  - her conversation with him and Zuko when they first met about bending and control and obedience. How forcing someone to give up bending was like taking a part of themselves -  _made_  them fit something that they weren't.

What if what the Water Tribe made her do...was the same thing as what the Fire Nation was making the earthbenders do… Just a bit reversed.

Her stomach clenches and the earthbender frowns, like she can pick up on the fact that Katara's heart  _hurts_  when it pounds in her chest.

 _She's been so unfair to Zuko this entire time_  - blaming him for what the Fire Nation does to others when her own people aren't that much different.

"Does he know yet? Your firebender friend. Does he... _know_?"

The waterbender rests her chin on her knees. "No."

And she doesn't want him to know.  _Ever_.

Katara doesn't even want to think about it herself.

Toph murmurs something that she doesn't catch. Katara shifts her legs around, sliding them back down underwater. Her fingers slide over the bottom of the river, running over the smooth stones. The two listen to the cricketcadas.

"It's not going to work out, you know. He's a firebender. Your tribespeople - they're not going to trust him no matter how hard you try."

Katara finds a loose one. She plucks it up, clutches it in her hands tightly. "I still have to try. For his sake."

The blind earthbender looks over at her. For a moment, Katara thinks that the girl really  _can_  see - not  _see_  see, but see beneath her skin. Underneath everything that protects her from the outside world, just like she can do when she bloodbends.

It scares her more than anything, knowing this blind girl isn't really blind. Her visions are just different.

"You should try for  _both_  your sakes."

The walk back to camp isn't pleasant. There's too much on her mind and there's no will to think about it.  _Too much thinking_  - before, she blamed all of her problems on the Fire Nation and firebenders; but now she can blame it all on  _thinking_.

She comes up to the camp, a low-burning fire in the middle and all of Jet's crew wrapped around it. They're loud -  _chatty_  and she's reminded of how young they all look in the light.

Toph doesn't join them, she notices. The earthbender walks around the camp, grabs an apple from the Duke's hand and goes over to the edge of the light where Zuko is perched on a stump. He glances up and his eyes watch as the small figure hops up beside him just like she had with Katara.

The firebender responds to something Toph says. Then, he looks up and his eyes lock on hers. Her stomach does that  _twist_  thing.

When had she gotten so  _comfortable_  with him?

Her fingers tighten on the sash she's tying around her waist to clench in the clean tunic. He hasn't looked away yet.

"You two make a fine pair," Jet says from behind her. She jumps, swings around and her elbow hits his chest because he's so  _close_  to her. His mouth is flat, just like his eyes; and he looks over her shoulder at Zuko.

She blushes and steps back to put some air between them. "It's not like that."

Jet hums and crosses his arms over his chest. His hook swords dangle from his waist. "Your hair is wet."

 _Okay_. She'll talk about her wet hair to get his mind off the firebender and, well,  _her_.  _Them_. Together.  _Oh_. "That would be because I just washed it."

" _Oh_ , really? Must be hard washing all that hair." He reaches an arm out and takes a damp, curly strand in between his long fingers, twisting it around.

"It's...not the most pleasant thing, no," she admits and gently pushes his hand away. Only Hama could ever play with her hair. "But it feels better afterward."

"Well -  _I_ would have helped. I bet it wouldn't be more pleasant if you had two extra sets of hands."

He flashes her a smile. Was he - was he  _flirting_  with her?

"If only I had known," she says, voice dripping with sarcasm and the smile fades from his lips. "Jet, I appreciate what you're doing for me and for my people - really, I  _do_. But I am  _uncomfortable_  with your lewd insinuations."

"Too good for someone from the Earth Kingdom?" He bites, shoulders broadening.

Katara takes a step back. "That's not it at all. But at the moment, there are many things I have to be worried about. Getting involved with someone is just going to be a... _distraction_  and I can't afford that. So if you would lay off, I'd appreciate it a lot."

Jet scoffs. He shakes his head and chuckles at something that Katara doesn't find amusing. "Hahn said you were as cold as your ice.  _Frigid_. I just thought that spending time with the firebender alone might have warmed you up a bit."

" _Excuse_  me?"

"I think we both know what's going on here. I just can't believe you let some  _firebender_  touch you. Just wait until your tribesmen figure it out."

 _Why_  was everyone assuming that she and Zuko were...were... _together_  like that?

This time, Katara doesn't step back, she gets closer, right up to him with her finger shoving into his chest. "Listen here,  _Jet_. Just because I told you to  _back off_  doesn't mean that you can jump to insane conclusions. And even if your little fantasies about me and the firebender  _were_  true, they'd be none of your damn business."

"I have as much stake in this rebellion as you do. You're risking so much by letting yourself be fucked by and over by  _him_."

"There isn't any fucking  _around_  or  _on_. Your bruised ego doesn't warrant that kind of accusation. Now - if you'll e _xcuse_  me."

Katara turns to walk away but halts when Jet actually  _grabs_  her, pulling her back so that she's facing him again, elbow up against his chest and upper arm in his grip.

"You're not smart, are you? Do you have  _any_  idea what Hahn will do to you? To the firebender? And what do you think _you're_  going to do? They're not going to listen to someone they don't even  _respect_."

Katara narrows her eyes. "If  _you_  were smart then you'd know not to touch me. Let me go, Jet. Before I  _make_ you."

"Just like you made all those others, right? I know. I know  _everything_."

"Then you know not to grab or threaten me." Katara yanks her arm away, glowering. "Don't  _ever_  do that again. Keep your hands off of me  _and_  the firebender or I  _swear_  you'll regret it."

"So it's you and him, eh? Hahn and the other Northerners - they'll love that." But he steps back. Gets away from her and closer to the forest where he was keeping watch. Katara keeps her glare on him. "Looking forward to your  _reunion_."

The waterbender's fingers itch, clawing at her sides because she wants nothing more than to reach out and grab a hold of his blood. She wants to see it -  _feel_  him under her control so that she can show him what she  _can_  do. So that he'll know for sure that she isn't to be messed with.

She won't back down from him. Won't be swayed by his glares, or his words, or his grip. She's no coward and she'll prove that to him if she needs to.

What would his face look like if she did reach out to grab his blood - his heart? Would it contort in fear? Would his eyes be delighted, taking sick pleasure in being completely helpless? The pain that comes with it - would he  _scream_  out loud? Give her the satisfaction of knowing that she  _was_  hurting him?

 _What would his blood feel like in her hands_?

There's ice on her tongue and steel in her heart. If she were to freeze Jet, she'd make her ice so cold it would burn his flesh.

Katara turns and marches away, boots heavy because she  _wants_  to show Jet that he doesn't scare her at all.

Smellerbee looks up at her when she walks past. The smaller girl rises and Katara  _tries_  to show all the anger she feels on her face so that the girl will back down but she doesn't. She crosses her arms over her chest, gives her a glare.

"Mad that Jet isn't on your side anymore?" She asks, a haughtiness in her voice that makes Katara's spine prickle. "I don't know what you did back in that tent at the camp. But let me just say that if you do it again - "

The waterbender steps forward. Her hands want to claw at the girls skin and she wants to freeze her heart from the outside in. Smellerbee quietens and Katara smiles when the girl's eyes widen for a fraction of a second.

"Think you could take me? What you felt back there - that was  _nothing_. I'm sure you've heard the stories.  _Witch_  - that's what they call me. Want to test that name out a little?"

"You  _are_  a witch."

"I've always hated that name. But now, I'm thinking that I might have to start  _living up to it_." She leans forward - Smellerbee leans back - the Duke nearby moves his hand to his blade and Katara catches herself. The waterbender blinks.  _What?_

She straightens back up. On the rock, Zuko stands and he's looking at her in a way that makes her stare. He looks... _afraid_ , almost.  _Of her?_

Katara sighs and looks away from the firebender to Smellerbee. "I want to get away from you just as much as you want to get away from me. So how about you stay out of my way and I'll stay out of yours."

She doesn't even wait for an answer. She steps around the girl, glances back at Zuko and decides that she does  _not_  want to talk to him or the earthbender.

No. Right now she just needs -  _just needs_...a time for herself. To calm down. To figure out why she just sounded...so  _wrong_. The words came out before she even had time to  _think_  and she isn't sure  _why_  she said it all the way she did.

Katara risks another glance at the firebender as she heads towards the trees. He takes a step towards her but Toph grabs his arm before he can follow her. Grateful, she ducks into the dark and keeps going - towards her moon and away from the fire.

She doesn't want to feel the warmth anyway. Not from the fire or from the firebender himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all of the support! :)


	20. Chapter 20

When she was on the Water Tribe ship, Sangok and Katara liked to sit on the deck and watch the moon while soaking up the energy it gave them. Other benders rarely joined them, and when they did it was briefly and Katara could feel the pronounced glances sent her way.

She had become immune to them. Northerners - Hama used to tease that they were too suspicious for their own good. Being locked in their ice walls had frozen their brains.

Now, as Katara sits on the rock next to the river and her face to the moon, she wonders if the looks were given to her for a reason.

 _Bloodbender_. Witch. Words that told of what she  _did_ , not who she  _was._  They only accepted her because of what she could do. If she wasn't skilled in bloodbending - one of the only two who  _could_  - she has no doubts of where she would have been. And it wouldn't be on a ship.

And even then, they rejected her. Kept her on border duty with the occasional call out to another ship if Hama wasn't nearby. But those times  _rarely_  brought sanctuary.

She always returned to Sangok with a piece of herself lost.

Katara grips the tunic's fabric in her hands and closes her eyes. After all this time of rejecting the Northerner's fear of her, was it all turning out to be  _true_?

She had been so violent towards Smellerbee; so angry at Jet. Her hands were itching for the slickness of blood and she isn't sure that she knows how to handle it.

She's always had urges, naturally. Bloodbending was a natural part of her bending. Hama spoke of it too, the need to exercise it just as much as waterbending. They just...couldn't. And now that she was angry and frustrated and protective, the urges were  _there_ , louder than before.

The only time she had wanted to bloodbend someone so badly was when she was faced with an  _enemy_. Never with a supposed  _ally_. But  _oh_ , she had wanted it. She  _wanted_  to feel their blood _sing_  in her ears and run across her fingertips. Wanted to feel their smiles and smirks drop off their faces with a simple twist of her fingers.

She wanted it.  _Still does_. Wants it almost as she wants to see her family again. Wants it  _almost_  as much as she wants her freedom from everything.

And Zuko. She remembers how he stepped towards her and Smellerbee, face masked with fear and caution and her stomach churns.

Before, she would have celebrated causing that look. Now, she wants to forget it and how it made her react at the moment. It made her  _stop_  - to realize what she was doing. And in the end, it might have been the only reason why she  _didn't_  attack Smellerbee and cause an outbreak of violence.

She doesn't want to scare him like that again. She wants to protect him - not only from  _them_ , but from the violent side of her  _makes_  her want to do horrible things. Katara  _wants_  to manipulate the puppet strings that ties her to blood, but she also wants to shield him from seeing her like that again.

And she isn't completely sure why.

Her brother - her father - Hama - her closest friend, Sangok - they had  _all_  witnessed her utter brutality when it came to waterbending  _and_  bloodbending. The people she cares about the most - she didn't think  _twice_  about them watching her.

Zuko though. Her former enemy, her jailor and a man who had almost killed her several times - she cares about  _him_  seeing her. Even after he had felt her for himself, after  _everything_  they had done to each other - she worries about  _him_  seeing  _her_  be the puppetmaster.

It doesn't make sense.  _None_  of this damned world does.

Katara digs her fingers into her arms. Everything should be less complicated. She shouldn't worry about these things and yet she does. And she  _can't_  figure it out for herself and there's  _no one_ to talk to and -  _dammit she hates everything so much._

Her grip tightens. Squeezes her arms until it's almost painful and she buries her face into the darkness of her arm, away from the light of her moon.

She sits like that for a while, focusing only on the dark and blocking out anything else that even  _resembles_  a thought.

Katara only stands when she hears a heartbeat behind her. An animal - a goat gorilla, powerful, strong, and curious - and she watches it, eyes sharpening and one foot sliding back into a defensive position. She tries to keep her shoulders relaxed though, just as Sokka had taught her when they went to hunting trips.

He wasn't full grown - only about her height and his tusks were short. Katara has heard stories about these creatures before. They're not...exactly  _kind_  in the wild.

The creatures sniffs and he locks in on her when she takes a step back -  _a mistake_. When he drops back and his lips curl up to expose his teeth, she reacts - hands yanking at the water in her waterskin and she freezes it when she snaps it in a whip at his face.

He growls, paws at the ice and she draws it back and twists her body around, shooting it back to him at his chest. Maybe she can scare him off -  _maybe_  -

Katara leaps away from his heavy paw. Her boots slide across the ground and she shatters the whip into tiny pieces of ice that she throws into his face, blinding and distracting him long enough so that she can turn and run into the forest.

He chases after her. Katara sucks in the water from the ice in his fur and from a bush of flowers at her side. When she spins around and throws razor-sharp disks at his arms, the creature bellows, loud and fierce and she winces. He's bleeding - and very,  _very_  angry now.

Not know what else she can do - he's too big for her lack of water right now - Katara drops back and lets go of the ice. Her fingers twist, contorting into familiar movements and she yanks at the thick, heavy strings of his blood.

The animal's eyes widen. He freezes into place.

 _His heart_  - she needs to find  _his heart_.

A column of fire shoots straight for the side of the animal's face and she immediately loses her grip, whirling around to see who had come up on her.

The goat gorilla shrieks, flies off into the forest and away from her and the firebender. Zuko is there, standing behind her with wide eyes and he walks towards her. Her hands shake. Her heart pounds.  _Did he see…_?

She tears her eyes away and examines the cloud of leaves above them.

He stops right in front of her and she has no choice  _but_  to look back at him. "I heard the creature when I went to make sure you were okay," he explains.

Katara nods. He had been  _looking_  for her.

"You shouldn't wander into the forest alone."

"So I've been told."

"You could have been killed."

"But I wasn't." She swallows. "I don't think I would have been missed too much anyway." She smiles and it feels like the river on her lips.

The firebender lifts a hand and for a moment, she  _almost_  stops him before he lays it on her shoulder. But she's glad she didn't; it's heavy, solid and warm, grounding her in a way that she needs right now. Katara drops the smile, knows that she doesn't  _need_  to act like she isn't bothered by anything.

There's a gentle pressure; he slides his hand down her back and the next thing she knows is she's stepping into him, guided by his hand and her arms as they circle around his waist and tug him into her, too. Her arms tighten and he envelops her wholly with both of his.

 _A hug_  - something she's needed for so long.

She breathes into him, letting her head fall against his chest and her eyes slide closed. She thinks she may cry a little there, but she isn't for sure nor does she care. Because he can't see her face and she can't see his. It just feels so good to  _touch_  and nothing else matters.

"I'm so tired of everything," she admits, muffled by his tunic pressed against her.

"We'll be away from them soon."

 _Them_  - he thinks that she's concerned about Jet and his Fighters. Of course he would. She had nearly erupted after talking to Jet and Smellerbee. He didn't know... _everything_. What really haunted her when she went off on her own.

Maybe that's for the best. If he knew, she can't imagine  _what_  he would think of her then. How could he ally himself with her then? So she lets him think that, and holds on to him for a little bit longer before she lets her arms drop and she steps away. Zuko lets her.

"You're...cold." He says, and reaches to rub the back of his neck. "Like,  _really_  cold."

"And you're warm. Must be a, uh,  _bending_  thing."

He nods. "Must be." An awkward pause. Katara doesn't want to go back to the camp and see Jet and Smellerbee again. Zuko seems to think the same too because he doesn't give any hint of wanting to return back. "So...Toph. She seems alright."

"Oh, yeah. She's nice." Katara clears her throat. "A lot nicer than expected, of course. I don't think she's... _fond_  of the Freedom Fighters."

"I got that vibe, too. She told me to keep a sharp eye out on Jet and Smellerbee. No matter what Jet does, the others will follow. Smellerbee more viciously than the others. She joined the group not too long ago; said that the others had been banded together for  _years_."

"Maybe we won't run into any problems. I'd rather... _not_. Seeing Hahn with you is already going to be an event in itself." She looks up at him. "Are you sure you want to do this? We can -  _I can_  - say that you ran off. We could make it look realistic and - "

" _Katara_ ," he interrupts. "Where would I go? What would I  _do_? According to my country, I'm already dead. I have no money, no skills, no  _nothing_  that would help me out there. If Zhao ever find out that I was still alive, he'd kill me."

She chews on the inside of her cheek, thinking. "We could...figure something out. I'll try my best with Hahn and all but...I'm not sure how he'll take it - take  _you_. I don't want you to wind up in some cell in the ship."

"You mean like where I put you?"

"I was in a room when I was on your ship. I can't guarantee that Hahn will be just as kind."

Zuko scoffs. " _Kind_. Because what we did to you - what  _I_  did to you was kind."

"Tribesmen can be cruel, Zuko," she warns. And she knows more than most. "They're my own people and even I'm a little... _cautious_  about going to them."

"I'll be fine." He looks at her, leveling her and she  _really_  wants to warn him - about  _everything_  - but she knows she can't because then he'll run and he'll  _hate_  her.

Selfish? Yes. But...if she does manage to save him, she wants to do it in a way that will still give him a good impression. Unlike her, he hasn't met enough tribesmen to think that they're all a decent people. So she keeps silent.

She sighs and shakes her head. "I don't think this is the best idea...but if you're sure that it's what you want to do then I'll try my best to keep you safe."

"Any advice you can give me?" He smiles, playful, and she's tempted to scold him because this is  _serious_. But his smiles are so rare that she can't.

"Try to appear as non-threatening as possible. Don't say anything. When we get there - let  _me_  do the talking."

"I can do that. It's pretty much what I do anyway."

Now _she_  is smiling back. "How's that been working so far?"

"Well, we're not  _dead_  yet, so I imagine it's worked okay." The corners of his eyes crinkle when he grins.

Hopefully it her words will work better than they have been so far. Then again, it's  _Hahn_. Someone who she already doesn't get along with very well. But if this is what Zuko wants…

"Would you go with me?" He blurts out and she blinks up at him. "If I decided against going to the ship, would you come with me? I don't think I could survive on my own in the forest and...you have more people skills than I do…"

 _Would she?_  It takes her a minute to think it over. A minute that would have been too long three weeks ago.

"No." She answers. "I have a responsibility to my people and my family. I can't turn my back on the people who need me."

He opens his mouth like he's going to say something else. Then, he closes his lips and nods his head once at her answer, like he's accepted it. She doesn't miss the disappointment that flashes through his eyes though.

"Then to the ship I'll go."

They start to work their way back to the camp after that. Something's shifted - she can feel it - and she isn't entirely too sure what it is. But...she thinks that if anything has come out of tonight, it's the confirmation that in some way, Zuko  _does_  care about that.

And she doesn't know whether to be giddy or worried. Giddy, because he's a  _boy_  and she's a  _girl_ \- or really, a young women and a young man - and she  _may_...care about him too. Worried, because this makes things so much more difficult and the web they're in is already strangling her.

She won't think about that now though. There are other things to be concerned about.  _But it's hard to ignore it_  - especially when she looks at Zuko and he looks at her and when they enter the camp, Jet looks at them  _both_  like they're disgusting.

Katara isn't sure what to make of this all. Should she make anything out of it to begin with? Probably not. She thinks too much anyways. This is probably another part of that.

She tosses Zuko his bedroll and gets her own out. Putting hers by Toph's, she ignores Jet's burning glare and turns her back to him and the fire when she lies down.

Sleep comes easily but it's not deep enough. Someone's heart is beating too strongly and their blood runs angrily in their veins.

She'll need to be as careful as possible tomorrow.

-/-

Toph is the one who wakes them all up. Katara gets up with a groan - she'll be thankful when she  _finally_  gets to sleep on a decent cot or bed. All of this sleeping on the forest floor, in trees, on cots with her arms restrained and in cages is getting  _old_  and her back is starting to ache from it.

She rolls up her bed, tucks it into the backpack next to Zuko's and braids back her hair before she sits next to Toph on a boulder. The blind girl tosses her an apple, already eating one herself.

If there's another thing that Katara  _won't_  miss about being in the forest is the food. It seems like all she's had recently is jerky and fruit.  _Honestly_.

"Duke, Smellerbee, Toph - you're with me." Jet orders, playing with his hook swords while two of the smaller boys work to destroy the fire pit. "The rest of you can make your way towards Juru."

"Juru?" Katara asks, turning to Toph.

The earthbender wipes some of the juice on her chin. "Base camp."

"No point in us all marching these two  _home_ ," he says pointedly, glancing at Katara with a blank expression. She meets it and bites into her apple, seemingly unaffected by him.

The fighters sent away don't even protest. They gather their belongings and set off west just as Jet leads them east. Katara expected at least  _something_. Even soldiers grumble a little at orders like that. But no -  _nothing._

Jet has a firm hold over his  _soldiers_. No wonder Toph warned Zuko about them last night.

Smellerbee glares over at Katara a few times as they start walking. Katara  _would_  feel a bit guilty about threatening the girl so last night but now? She kind of wants to just hit the girl for being so damned idiotic.

Their leader whistles as they walk, swinging his hook swords around like they're toys instead of sharpened weapons that reflect the sun every now and then.

"When will we get there?" Katara asks after they've been walking a few miles. It's getting close to midday and she's getting anxious.

Even though she  _isn't_  looking forward to Hahn or the waterbender's reactions to seeing Zuko, she  _really_  wants to see her family and Hama. It's been  _far_  too long and she really needs a familiar face. Maybe they'll come across Sangok and they can switch ships.

She imagines that Sangok would react better to Zuko than Hahn. It's a shame that Jet works  _with_  Hahn rather than a commander who she knows to be a bit more understanding. But those are hard to find anyway. Most of the commanders are Northerners, not trusting enough of the Southerners to give them that much power over their own people and ships.

"We'll be there soon," Jet turns so that he can look at Zuko, "and we might stay for a bit longer. I'm  _very_  interested in seeing the welcoming party."

Katara narrows her eyes. "So sure they'd want you to stay, Jet? Think they'd be  _welcoming hosts_  like you have been?"

Jet smirks. He looks over to Smellerbee, whispers something, then slows down so that he can pull up beside Katara. But he's still facing Zuko. Katara's hands tighten around the straps of the pack until her nails bury into her palms.  _What is he playing at_?

The leader with the constant smirk doesn't say anything to  _Zuko_  though. He turns on his heel and leans down to  _Katara_  instead.

"Don't know why  _you're_  so eager to get back to your tribespeople. Think they'll be  _understanding_?" He asks. "How does it feel knowing that you're leading a man straight to his  _death_?"

Katara hikes the bag higher on her shoulder.  _She can't lose her cool -_ he's just looking for a response - just like last night -

"Do you really think that they're going to offer him  _asylum_? That they won't  _use_  him somehow? You know the tribespeople better than I do. You're the villager leading the prey straight to the hunters."

Her breath hitches. She stares through him. If she meets his eyes, she may snap. That hate and ridicule in them - she can hear it in his voice but she doesn't need to see it in his eyes.

 _Oh but he's right._ He's right and she knows was she  _thinking_? How could she let  _Zuko_  walk straight into this icy hell? She can't let him - he  _can't_.

Because it isn't her decision. Like he said last night - he has nowhere else to go. No matter where it is, he will be hunted and mocked because of his heritage. And this is what  _he_  wants. Katara made him a promise - that she'd lead him and try to protect him as much as she can.

Yes, him going to the Water Tribes is stupid. But it's what  _he decided_. It's probably one of the few decisions that he's made for himself in his  _life_. She can't take that away from him. She won't. The only thing she can do is try and help him along the way.

And that's what Jet's trying to do.

"How long will it take before they give up on diplomacy and  _carve him up_? Like the fucking  _animal_  he is. I bet the etches they give  _him_  won't be as pretty as the one they gave you - "

" _Stop it_ ," she hisses -  _enough_  - and turns straight at him, hands dropping, fingers  _curling_  and all she can see is the fierce blue of ice on his skin, " _just stop it_."

He smiles. Cold, hard. Just like the ice she wants to decorate him with.

"Did you think they'd let him  _live_? That they'd let him  _survive_?" Jet takes a step back but he  _doesn't_  back down. His hands tighten around his swords.

Everyone is watching them now - but all she can see is Jet's body, frozen in her chilly wrath. Toph, Smellerbee, the Duke,  _Zuko_. It seems that even the forest is holding it's breath, waiting to see what will become of this.

"You know  _nothing_."

" _You_  are  _blind_." His arm shoots out to where Zuko stands, " _He is the enemy_. There is  _nothing_  you can do to save him."

"That's none of your concern! He is  _mine_  -  _mine_  and  _no one else's_." Her fingers twitch -  _she could bend._ Right now and this would be over - she could take them  _all down_. She and Zuko have not survived this long just for this  _boy_  to end it all here. No, not like this.  _Never like this._

"A friend of the Fire is an enemy of mine! It  _is_ my concern. I'm just as part of this world as you are."

" _Shut up_ , Jet. I'm  _warning_  you."

The hook that was held to Zuko is now pointing at her. The curve is a breath away, straight at her neck. When she breathes out - harsh, straight through her teeth - ice freezes the tip. But she doesn't step away - she won't. Not last night, not now, not  _ever._

"You've let yourself become clouded. I've seen it." Jet accuses, eyes narrowing. "You would attack an  _ally_  over the life of an  _enemy_? I thought at first you might have just been protective of your captive. But you're far too attached now. When Hahn hears of this - "

" _It is none of your concern_!  _I_ decide what happens here.  _Not you._  You have no right - no damned right to do  _anything_."

Her fingers twitch at her side. Her palms itch. She wants to bend - sees red and blue and fire and ice.

Jet sneers. "You're  _insane_. They'll make you  _watch_ , you know. You'll have to  _watch_  when they kill him. I'm doing you a favor."

The sword arcs back to Zuko, he steps forward -

\- and freezes in his stance. Katara's fingers are up, spread, arced in that devastating manner and she can feel the rush of his heated blood against the tips.

Chaos erupts.

The Duke at her side has his sword out before she can move, but as soon as he aims for her, he's thrown back into a tree by a fireball that sears the loose fabric of her tunic at the back.

The ground quakes - a fierce warcry - and Katara grips onto Jet's blood with one hand and with the other, reaches out for the earthbender. Toph freezes - the ground stops trembling - but the drain is too much and Katara fights against the tremble that's setting in her limbs.  _Jet moves an inch_.

Fire - it throws all of the others back, bruning their cores for an instant until they're on their backs.

Katara lets go of her grips on their blood and her fingers  _suck_ the water from her waterskins. She spins, shooting a water whip out just in time to pierce through a rock aimed for her head. The water retracts, Katara arcs it forward again - this time at Toph.

" _Wait - !_ "

The earthbender throws up a shield and Katara moves her arms to change the direction of the whip. It's circling around the edge, ice freezing at the end of the whip but she can't see if she's made contact.

She shoves the ice forward, past the shield and brings it back, glides it around her waist in preparation for the earthbender's counterattack.

Toph shoves the shield forward, grating it across the ground and Katara leaps to the left to get out of the way. She pivots on her heel and her hands reach for the weeds around -  _she needs more water_  - and throws up a watershield just in time to shatter three rock spheres.

" _Katara -_ wait!"

She freezes the water by tightening her fingers. A bead of sweat crawls down the side of her cheek. A swear forms on her lips as her limbs burn and she  _shoves_  the frozen wall down and up. Toph's eyes widen just as she manages to curl a rocky shelter over her body. The ice shatters when it hits, the sound splitting the air, and Katara sucks it back in.

Smellerbee stumbles up, face and neck covered in welt from Zuko's fire and she sneers at Katara. The waterbender smiles -  _oh, yes_  - and the nonbender doesn't stand a chance against the icy dagger that's shoved into her chest.

The girl falls. Her heartbeat almost lost.

But Toph is still alive. For one easy kill, it looks like Katara will face an even harder one.

She knows what she needs to do.

The water is forgotten, tucked back into her waterskin and Katara readies her fingers. The earthbender can't stay in her rock for long.

Their talk last night - it means  _nothing_. But Katara's fingers still shake as she aims for the earthbender. This will hurt… but she needs to do it. Needs to get out of this  _alive_  with Zuko so that none of this is worthless. All that she's endured - it can't be for  _nothing_.

Dying by an enemy is one thing. But dying by the hands of a supposed  _ally_  is another.

At her side, Jet darts away from a fire blast. He's close - right next to her and she turns just in time to -  _meet the edge of his hook._  The curve fits perfectly into her stomach.

Katara looks down at the silver hook embedded in her core. There's red warmth trickling out -  _red_  - and she can't manage to look away. Oh…  _oh._

" _Katara_!" Zuko screams.

Jet tugs at the sword, the curve ripping at her insides and she curves forward. Her eyes catch a glimpse of his smirk before she falls to her knees. He rips the blade out. She jerks at the movement.

There's so much hate in his eyes as he grins down at her. That glimmer there - that sickness in him that makes her think of Toph's warnings the night before. Jet's insanity...maybe it's not reserved for just firebenders, after all.

The red flows out faster. She's  _never_  felt so warm before.

Katara's hands slide to the wound - she can't stop it -  _can't_ … so much blood -  _so much_  and it's so warm even though she feels so cold. Her hands, once the dusky brown of her tribe, stain with red. It's just like before, on the ship that night that feels like forever ago.

Except now it's her blood. And there's so  _much_  of it.

Katara feels her body slide to the side. Her shoulder jars against the ground, head lands on a rock, and she gets dizzy and she's not sure if it's from the blood or the rock and -  _oh_. Oh.

There's a scream. Loud, human - a steady heartbeat vanishes and the smell of burned flesh fills the air. Katara wonders at the metallic taste in her mouth. It feels like she's drinking copper. But that's strange because she's never drank copper before -  _and why would she?_

She coughs but there's no sound. Something is choking her, like she can't swallow. Something warm wets her lips. It tastes of the metal in her throat.

"Katara?!" Zuko flips her over so that she's looking up at the sky - no, there's his face, black hair falling into his eyes - so wide, panicked?  _for her?_  - and his hands fit perfectly around her back, grasping onto her shoulder as she's lifted up off of the ground. "S-Stay with me. Alright? Just  _stay with me_. It's all going to be fine."

_It's all going to be fine._

Her fingers curl around her wound. Zuko's gaze flicks down, a heated hand covers hers and he presses down like they both can stop the blood that's pouring out of her. She could laugh - she could  _laugh_  right now.

"I'm going to have to try to seal it, okay? This - This is going to hurt but I  _need_  to do this." His voice shakes - has she ever heard it do that before? She blinks at him, another cough and more wetness on her lips. But she nods and prepares herself - if what she thinks is about to happens, happens, then -

\- heat.  _Flames_. Katara would scream but she can't and Zuko flinches but he keeps his hand up pressed against the hole in her stomach. She jolts - either forward or backward, she doesn't know. She just knows that she's trying to escape the fire and  _oh Spirits_ , it hurts. Hurts more than the hook that made the wound.

Hurts more than death. Than dying.

But the sharp heat is gone. Removed, replaced by the dull heat and smell of charred -  _charring_  - flesh and smoldering ash on her belly.

Then there's the soft press of Zuko's hands on her shoulders, shifting around where she's lying across his lap, head falling against his chest as he rocks her. He mumbles something in her hair but she can't hear him. But what is he saying? She wants to know -  _needs_  to know.

But she can't - she can't hear him…

She never got to see her scar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the kudos and comments! :)


	21. Chapter 21

Katara wakes.

Surprising - and she wishes that she could slip right back into that sleep.

The first thing she notices before she opens her eyes is that she's tired. She's not dry; but she feels like her energy has been sapped and her body just sort of lies on the scratchy blanket and sheets like a dead body. Except she's not dead. She's  _alive_.

The second thing is that there's water nearby -  _a lot_  of it. Her body pulls towards it and she can almost feel it against her fingertips. She's  _surrounded_  by the water - like..like... _she's on a ship_?

Katara's eyes slide open and she stares up at bare wooden planks above her head.  _Yes_ , she knows where she is - she's been here before.  _A Water Tribe_  ship. But...how? The last thing she remembers is being in that forest, a gaping wound in her stomach and Zuko...didn't he  _sear_  the wound closed to try to stop the bleeding?

If she's  _here_  - alive - then  _he_  must be...here as well…

A gasp tears from her lips and she bolts upright. The bandages across her stomach strain and she grits her teeth as the sudden stabbing sensation deep in her gut. What -  _what_? Was her wound  _healed_ , somehow?

Her fingers tear the blanket off and she looks down at her bare abdomen. White bandage strips are wrapped around her and she works her fingers at her side to undo the knot. Not the safest move - but she needs to  _see_ , needs to  _know_  -

She throws the bandages to the side and the tips of her fingers brush across the wound - hisses at the sensitivity. The skin is blackened, charred, at the very center, red scarring around the edge but that's it. It's mostly healed. Somehow, even though it shouldn't be - not with just the burns.

Waterbenders must have healed her. Zuko - he must have  _brought_  her here somehow -  _or_   _what if they found her in the forest_? What if Zuko  _did_  escape?

Zuko abandoning her makes her stomach twist -  _not because of the wound_  - but it would be the smart move for him. Leaving before Hahn and the tribesmen arrived. it was for the best. Jet was right - they were stupid for thinking that it could end any other way.

The waterbender swings her legs over the side and stands on quivering legs. She has to reach behind her to hold onto the wall when she straightens. Letting her eyes slide close, she pushes back the nausea and headache that threaten to overwhelm her and inhales deeply.

She needs to know - needs to know how she got  _here_.

Katara allows herself ten seconds to get herself together. Then, she opens her eyes and  _forces_  her legs to move.

She tugs on a long-sleeved thermal and a pair of leggings that were on the foot of the bed, wincing when her burns draw tight from the stretch. There's a robe draped over a rickety chair in the corner, a table with a water pitcher at it's side. The polarbeast's skin feels good against hers when she pulls the robe on - it smells of  _home_  - and the water - it's so clear and good when she drinks it like it's all she'll ever get.

Katara feels better already.

Her boots are tucked underneath the bed and she pulls them on, not bothering to lace them because her fingers quiver too much. Drawing the robe tight across her chest, she ambles to the door and opens it.

The hallway is empty. When she slides the door closed behind her, she checks down the corridor for anyone else but finds one - listens for sounds but there isn't any besides the sound of the sea.

It's eerie, this ship.

Katara doesn't head for the deck. If she wants to find Hahn then she knows exactly where to go.

So she heads for the back where the largest quarters are. Behind her towards the deck, she hears the sound of seaeagles cawing and her grip on her robe tightens. It must be nearing dusk - the time for the waterbenders to sleep in preparation for the night.

It's felt like years since she had that schedule. When really - it's only been a few weeks.

She  _almost_  pauses to knock when she's at the door. But she doesn't, because Hahn doesn't scare or even worry her and she needs to know where Zuko is now. Or if he's even on the ship - which she hopes that he  _isn't_. If he made it out then there's a chance that he's  _safe_.

Katara barges in, throwing up an exterior of icy resolve as she walks into Hahn's room. He's awake, as always, and sitting behind a desk, looking up to hear who caused his door to bang against the wall before she slams it shut.

Surprise flickers in his eyes for a moment, but then they match hers and he rises, slow and languidly like the ship he commands.

"Ah, Katara. I was wondering when you would come around," he gives her a smile, but it is as cold as Zhao's. "The healers were worried. You suffered a great wound."

"By  _your_  ally, none the less. And it's Master Katara. I deserve to be called by my proper name."

The smile turns acidic. "Very well. I  _apologize_  - for both the misnaming and Jet's actions. I can honestly say that I was unaware that you were with him. I would not recommend his company to anyone."

"How long have I been out?"

"Two and a half days."

 _Two and a half days_. She swallows. He hasn't mentioned anything about a firebender - yet. That's a good sign, right? "And my brother? Has he been told that I'm here?"

Hahn nods. "Master Hama sent the word as soon as you came aboard. To both him  _and_  your father."

Relief washes through her. At least they know that she's alive. That she's well.  _Safe_. "Master Hama is here?"

The corners of his lips turn up for a moment in reflex. "Her skills were needed. She was the healer who tended to you the most. I think she's sleeping now, though she will wake shortly."

 _A friendly face_. At last. The hand holding her robe together tightens and she fights to keep down the smile as her chest swells. Oh - she's  _missed_  her teacher.

"Anyone else you would like to ask about?" He asks, something in his tone making her smile disappear completely.  _Surely not_  - "The earthbender, the blind girl, she's here. She told us how Jet attacked you."

Her back stiffens. " _Why_? She tried to kill me, too.

"Don't know. She just arrived with you, led the firebender right to us." And there it is.

The words that make her stomach lurch and tighten at the same time. Zuko didn't leave her - didn't abandon her. But that meant he was  _here_ , somewhere in this ship of waterbenders who hate Fire and those who wield it.

Hahn's smile is slow, gleeful at her stillness. "Yes, your firebender is with us. Prince Zuko is being kept somewhere noting his status. His status in our eyes at least. Did you think that we wouldn't recognize him? Everyone knows of his scar."

"Where is he?"

"Somewhere safe. You're lucky that your contribution in giving us a valuable bargaining chip outweighs your  _disgusting_  attachment to him."

Katara swallows, fights to pull up her iciness to her eyes again. "I'm not attached to anyone."

He quirks a brow. "Well he seemed fairly attached to you."

"He's not an enemy anymore. You have no right to keep him as a prisoner. Zuko saved my life multiple times. He isn't a threat."

"I don't think  _he_  was the one that labored over your body for two and half days. That would be our waterbenders - not your firebender." He spits that last word out like curse. Like it tastes so horrendous on his tongue. "And I think you forget that he's a Fire Prince."

"He's  _not_  an enemy!" Her fists ball up. Hahn notices and squares his chest. But she's not backing down - she has to know where they're keeping Zuko - needs to know that he's  _okay_ , that he's  _safe_  on this ship.  _"Where is he?"_

The door opens behind her and Katara turns to look over her shoulder just in time to catch the black hair, the unassuming black robes, and amber eyes. There he is - Lu Ten.

He slides the door closed with more grace than Katara had. Eyes amused, he steps forward, Katara narrows her eyes as he stands across from her. He has a coldness in him that is like a waterbender's, not a firebender's.

He isn't like his father at all. Would Iroh be disappointed if he met his son today?

"I heard a commotion." The exiled firebender states and looks to Hahn. "Is everything alright?"

Hahn tenses at what he probably presumes is a slight and glares. "I have everything  _under control_. Your input is not needed in this matter."

"He is your  _cousin_ ," Katara accuses and Lu Ten's attention returns to her, "and you let them do this to him. You know -  _you know_  what could be in store for him and yet you let them do this. Zuko doesn't mean anyone harm - he's not an enemy. Surely you know that better than anyone here."

" _My cousin_  has not yet had the time to think about where his true allegiances lie. Up until - what? - three weeks ago, he was still hunting down the Avatar. Just because he spent a little time with you doesn't mean that he's had a sudden change of heart."

Katara scowls. "I will rip this ship apart if you _do not_  tell me where he is! He isn't either one of yours' prisoner to do with as you please."

"We haven't touched him," she looks at Hahn, who smirks knowingly, "yet. Zuko is safe at the moment. Perhaps you should forget this little  _friendship_  you two share It's unbecoming of a waterbender.  _Especially_  one who wants to be taken seriously as a warrior."

" _I am a warrior_ ," she slams her fist down on the table, leans across and glares  _right at him_. "I think that the last three weeks have  _more_  than proven that. Let's see  _your_  fire scars, Hahn. Who has more now?"

"You service is duly noted. But that doesn't matter when it comes to the Fire Prince's fate." The Captain seems more amused than anything, like the burn marks that marr her back mean nothing. Like the torture she received under Zhao is nothing.

She looks to the firebender. "He can help us find your father. He knows where - "

"My father's rescue will be carried out  _without_  Zuko's help. We have already confirmed his location." Lu Ten's lips are tight.

"He can help us - "

"That is not a decision for a  _soldier_  to make. Certainly not one as attached as you are." Hahn's voice makes her fingers twitch and she sucks in a deep, cold breath.

So  _now_  she's a soldier. Before, the Northerners would nearly choke when they called her that, as if she didn't deserve it. As if her sacrifice for her people was worth less not only because she was a woman, but because of what she could  _do_  too.

All she's ever wanted to was to be recognized by  _them_. For her efforts to be acknowledged.

Now it just feels like a mockery.

" _You_ ," she looks up at him, eyes narrowed and hands fists at her side. "I always knew you were a week captain. But now I know that you're a weak  _man_.

It's the ultimate sin. A tribeswoman taking a jab at a tribesman's manhood.  _Especially_  in the North.

Hahn's eyes cloud and he braces his hands on the desk, leans forward to get  _right up_  to her like she did with him. "You will do well to remember your place. I have been nothing but  _hospitable_  to you, your  _Master_ , and your new  _pet_. But I might not be much longer."

The threat falls around her. She doesn't move, letting her icy glare freeze him as he stands.

"Perhaps you will do well to remember that you are  _not_  on Sangok's ship. You are on  _mine_  and you will follow  _my_  orders."

Katara pushes herself off the desk, grabs onto her robe and tugs it tightly across her once again. She holds her glare at the Captain. "I  _will_  remember this."

She turns, leaves with the air in the room colder than it was when she came.

But when she gets back to the room she woke up in, all she can feel is a heated  _rage_. She rips the robe off, throws it against the chair and they clatter to the floor; she slams the door shut, beats a fist against it -  _Spirits_ , why did Hahn have to do this?

He - He couldn't do this. He couldn't keep Zuko locked up like some, like some  _animal_!

She grabs the handle of the empty water pitcher and hurls it at the wall. But it's not enough - it will never be enough until she can see that Zuki is okay herself. Hahn's assurances mean nothing - she has to see him. She can't - Katara  _can't_  -

Her face is buried in her hands and she collapses against the wall, sliding down until she hits the floor. After all these weeks of wanting to get Zuko to Hahn and here she is, wanting nothing more than to get him as far away from him as possible.

The Water Tribe. They have interrogation methods, too.

 _If only she had_  - if only she had told him to  _stay away_  instead of encouraging him -  _oh no_ , this was all her fault.

 _Stupid_. She was so stupid. And Zuko -  _what was he thinking_? This was all just a mistake - a big, huge mistake that she needs to figure out how to fix before anything bad happens to Zuko. He won't last long. Firebenders that are not Lu Ten never do.

She pulls her knees up to her chest.  _She doesn't know what to do now_.

Katara isn't supposed to be upset that a firebender is in tribal custody. She isn't supposed to want to find him, seek him out, and set him free. She isn't supposed to regret leading him  _here_ , to a place where she anticipated returning to.

What she wouldn't give to be back in that forest. Back in the forest, with Zuko somewhere safe.

 _She isn't supposed to be in this position_  - she's a tribal warrior. Three weeks and she would have  _praised_  and would have  _prided_  herself in finally getting Zuko on a Water Tribe ship. If everything worked out like she had planned - one of the rebellion's allies wouldn't be  _dead_  and she would still hate Zuko and have  _no sympathy_  for anyone belonging to Fire.

But this have changed. They've changed so much and she can't think and - Katara grips her hair in her hands, pulls until all she can feel is pain because thinking, it's too much.  _She isn't sure of anything anymore_.

There's a knock on the door. Katara stiffens - Hahn? Lu Ten? She doesn't want to see either of them again because she doesn't know if she can hold herself back from freezing them up against the wall in a cage of ice.

But it's not them. When the door opens, there's Hama, a gentle, weathered face with concerned eyes. "Katara? Child - "

Whatever she says is cut off as Katara leaps off of the ground and throws her arms around the older woman's neck. Young hands clutch at the elder's back, and Katara buries her face in her master's neck and shudders out a breath.

"Oh, Hama - I've  _missed_  you."

The woman wraps her arms around Katara, hugs her close and tight like she needs right now. Katara slackens and rests, letting her eyes close as she breathes in the smell of lilies that clings to her teacher.

"I've heard you've had quite an adventure," the older waterbender says as Katara pulls away. She smiles and reaches to caress her face. "We were all very concerned for you. News didn't reach us until just last week that your ship had been attacked."

"The rest of the crew? Sangok? Are they alright?"

"You were the only casualty accounted for. Sangok is fine. I sent a letter to him as soon as you came aboard."

Katara's forehead wrinkles as she furrows her brow. "Casualty? But - I was alive. They  _saw_  Zhao take me."

Hama pats her hair. "They thought it would be easier to declare you dead. No one captured by Zhao has ever made it out alive."

Her gut feels like it's been split open with a hook sword again. They had her declared dead? Didn't even  _try_  to go after her? Just... _gave up like that_?

They would have let Zhao torture her. Would have let the firebenders take her to some prison where she would die in five years - if she was lucky. Katara frowns, turns away to sit down on the bed.  _Dead_.

"Oh, Katara," Hama breathes. "I know it's hard to hear. But...it was for the best. We are all more than happy to see that you made it out alive - and quite impressed, I must say - but...you need to understand the position Sangok was in. His ship was damaged beyond repair, his men exhausted. There was no way they could go up against Zhao again after that."

 _They didn't even try_. She swallows down bitterness, feigns a smile. She was just a disposable soldier, nothing more - not even to Sangok.

The smile she gives Hama moves like water. "I understand. It's just... _difficult_  to hear."

A hand runs down her hair. "I know."  _No, she doesn't._  "How about I brush your hair, hmm? Like old times."

The waterbending girl nods and twists around so that her back is to Hama. Fingers work at a few knots in the middle before Hama takes the comb out of her pocket and starts to brush through three weeks' worth of tangles.

"I heard from an earthbender girl that you made a friend on this trip." Hama's voice is cautious - wary? Of her answer, perhaps?

"Zuko saved my life and I saved his," Katara speaks carefully - she isn't sure what Hama has heard. "Does that make us friends?"

"Does it?"

 _More than friends_. "We are allies. We survived together and that's that. I - I don't consider him an enemy any more."

Hama is silent as she runs the comb through her hair a few more times. "I cannot say that I approve."

"I didn't really ask if you did," she whispers and the old woman's hand pauses in her hair before she slides it back down, gently untangling a knot at the end. "I respect you more than anyone I know but…I don't expect you to understand. I don't think I can expect  _anyone_  to."

"You wouldn't have much luck with that. Not on this ship. Not after all the recent attacks."

"There's been more?"

"They're coming more frequently. Your father's ship barely survived his encounter with the Fire Lord's daughter. We've lost so many these past few weeks." Hama's hands are gentle when she puts them on her shoulder. "They're becoming more aggressive. Our allies grow thin."

Katara feels heat on her cheeks. "Some fault of mine, I suppose."

"You were attacked. You had no choice but to defend yourself. But...no. I suppose that it doesn't help the rebellion or the Fire Prince."

Katara draws her knees up to her chest. Wraps her arms around her calves to tug them tighter.  _Jet_  - he might have been  _awful_  but...now that she knows of the even more precarious position they're in, her reaction that led to the violence seems more... _irrational_.

Could she have talked to him more? Ignored him? Ended the conflict  _peacefully_? She isn't sure - and she'll never know. How long will this haunt her?

"I should warn you," Hama continues, her words slow and calculative and Katara braces herself - this is never good, "there are some soldiers on the ship that are not as sympathetic towards you and the firebender and Jet's death. They are... _talking_."

"What do they have to say?"

"I'm not sure. Hahn and the others trust me almost as they trust you. They are a suspicious lot, you know. I don't know how serious the matter is. I just...wanted you to be aware of it so that if you can be more cautious."

" _More cautious_." She snorts. "I think I blew that when I stormed into Hahn's office and had words with him and Lu Ten."

-/-

When she steps onto the deck for the first time, the Northern warriors eye her - some with curiosity, some with anger, some with wariness, and some with approval. While her actions have certainly garnered her enemies, it seems to have made a friend in others.

Hama's hands had braided her hair and she flips it back over her shoulder as she walks across the wooden deck. Head high, shoulders back - she's earned her place on this ship and she'll be damned if everyone doesn't know it right from the start.

The spray of the sea feels marvelous against her skin. It's the first salty rain that she's experienced since the one or two times a few droplets managed to fall on her on Zhao's ship.

 _Feels like forever ago_.

She finds Toph. The blind earthbender is propped up against a stack of wooden crates, face as green as her tunic. When the waterbender approaches, the shorter girl leans over the side and empties her stomach into the ocean below.

"You should go to the lower cabins." Katara offers, resting her hip on the side and she looks down at the earthbender with some pity. "You won't rock as much."

"Fuck it all," she groans. Rubbing a hand across her face, she tilts her face into the sea spray and sighs. "Spirits, I hate ships."

Katara couldn't disagree more. Ships are on water - her  _home_. Her element. But it is not Toph's, and even though the girl does confuse her more than anything, she figures that if the girl wanted to kill her she already would have.

So she figures she might as well just ask. "Why didn't you kill me when you could?" It doesn't sound like a question even though it is.

Toph shrugs, not surprised at all about it. "Never wanted you. I tried to get your attention when you went all ape-shit crazy on us - well, when Jet went crazy and then you went crazy and then I don't really know  _what the fuck happened_  - but you weren't listening."

"You brought Zuko to the ship - why?"

"He wanted to. After he killed Jet, he picked you up and demanded that I take you to the ship so that you could get to a proper healer. So, I did."

"You shouldn't have let him come."

"He was pretty insistent."

"They're going to kill him, you know."

"Like they wouldn't have if you were awake?" Toph looks up at her. "You  _know_  things wouldn't have turned out much differently. Don't try to blame this all on me, sweetcakes. I'm just the tour guide."

"I wasn't - I didn't mean - "

"Have you tried convincing Lord Thickhead to do something he doesn't want to do?"

Katara pauses. "Point taken. I'm sorry, I'm just... _worried_." She glances down at her boots, doesn't feel worthy enough to look out at her sea. "I don't where he is or if he's even  _okay_  and it just…"

"Sucks." Toph finishes.

"Yeah. And it's all kind of, well, my fault that he's here and...in a lot of danger right now. I mean, you've heard the stories. I don't want that to happen to him."

The earthbender sighs, then turns green and Katara steps away from the side of the ship just as Toph tosses her head over it. But she's just hacking, not doing much because she's already been sick too many times.

Katara still places a hand on the girl's head. Pulls her hair out of her eyes and holds it at the crown. She can hear the snickers of Northerners behind her, mocking Toph. But if the earthbender hears, she doesn't let on. Not that she probably cares, with her stomach lurching so.

When she leans back, Katara twists her fingers and bends water from the ocean and soaks the sleeve of her thermal. She puts it against Toph's face. Wipes away at the sickened sweat there. Underneath her fingers, the girl sighs.

"Thanks." She says. The word sounds awkward on her tongue - like she's not used saying it.

"Welcome." Her own tongue is unfamiliar around the word.

Katara leans back against the ship, eyes scanning over the ocean with her arms crossed over her chest. Here she is, up and enjoying the sea, the breeze,  _the sun_. All while Zuko is...somewhere.

It doesn't seem right.

"He cares about you, you know?" Toph says and Katara's head jerks over to look at her. "Zuko. He was pretty messed up when you went unconscious."

Her arms shift across her chest and she keeps her lips shut because she isn't sure how she should reply to that. So she doesn't. It's always the safest way to go when she doesn't trust the words that might spill from her lips.

Toph huffs. "You two are a bunch of fuckin' idiots."

Now  _that_  she does have a reply for: "Tell me something I don't know. Then again, you and I  _both_  led a firebender that we think is actually pretty decent onto a ship full of waterbenders. So...looks like you're in the idiot boat with us."

"Well,  _fuck_." Her fingers tighten on the wood and she moves to hack over a few more times into the sea. Done, she plops back down on the crates with a loud groan and buries her face in her hands. "But I think I win this. What in the hell is a  _blind_   _earthbender_  doing on a ship?"

Katara can't help but chuckle and she reaches out to brush the girl's hair out of her eyes as best as she can. "C'mon. Let's get you down below where you won't get so sick."

Toph manages following Katara well enough despite the fact that the boat rocks continually. The waterbender's legs have already adapted despite the prolonged absence - product of living on a ship for a few years - but the earthbender's legs might as well be useless.

Katara leads them down onto the second floor. The other staircase only leads to the storage room, boxes and crates of weapons and smuggled goods that Hahn's managed to get his hands own stuffed in the darkness until they make port in the North for a few weeks.

She lets Toph grab onto her arm with the girl stumbles and takes her to the door that doesn't have piece of blue fabric wrapped around the handle that tells her it's taken. Luckily, it's in the middle.

"Where did they put you?" Katara asks as she opens the door. It's dark down here without the lamps in the hall or the sunlight from the stairs. She quickly grabs the candle on the table and scoots past Toph to light it using a flame on the wall.

Toph stays at the door and turns to face Katara as she goes back into the room with the lit candle. "First floor. Right on the end. An older lady is next to me - Hamu? Pama?"

"Hama," Katara corrects. "You can come in. The cot is right in front of you." The earthbender's steps are a little more cautious but she plops down on the bed. Katara sits beside her. "She's nice. She was my Master, the one who taught me the Southern Arts."

"So...she's like you?"

Katara swallows. "Yeah, she's like me."

"Well."  _How will she react to that?_  With disgust? Amusement? "Guess I don't have anything to worry about then."

 _Oh_. Well...okay. A surprise, but a nice one. Though should she really be surprised? Perhaps not. Toph hasn't seemed particularly antagonistic since she met her. She's been more amusing than anything. And she  _did_  seem fine with Zuko…

And now, when they were the only ones who  _were_ , that was important.

"Yeah. You'll, um, be fine. She's kind."

"She went pretty crazy over you, too. Once we brought you in, Hahn had a Northern carry you to a room while Zuko...erm...went somewhere else…" She swallows. "But -  _yeah_  - ah, she pushed everyone out and worked on you for almost two days straight. I don't remember her ever resting until last night."

"That sounds like Hama." Katara says, frowning at the bit about Zuko. Should she - ? "What happened? when you got on board?"

Toph shifts on the cot. " _Well_. First, I tried to convince him to let me take you. Or to stay with you while I went and got someone and brought them back so that he could escape. But he refused. Said you might not make it if we took that long and so I led him to the ship.

"When we got here, Zuko immediately handed you off to the nearest soldier and held his hands up in peace. They were all going fuckin'  _nuts_  though and immediately knew who he was. Hahn ran out, ordered for his wrists to be bound and they started, like,  _talking_."

"About?"

"Why he was there. How he got there. What he was doing with  _you_. Why you were comatose and had burns on your stomach. Zuko told him about Jet and I backed him up but they didn't really listen to me. Not really  _surprised_  about that fact, but whatever. Then he said something about checking in on you and Hahn got really angry. Made them take him away."

"I should have been there. It probably looked like Zuko had killed me or something."

Toph raises an eyebrow. "You think you being there would have made a difference?"

"Maybe…" But she trails off, unsure.  _Would it_?

"The way I see it, if you were awake, you probably would have snapped at Hahn and got yourself in a hell of a lot of trouble. Your firebender, too. It wouldn't have helped  _anyone_."

"Well I ended up doing that anyway." She snorts and draws up her knees to her chest, leans back against the wooden wall.

" _Great_." Toph huffs. "You'd make  _such_  a good diplomat."

Katara shoots her a dark look.

"Just saying. Look, you gotta be  _careful_  here. The Northerners? I think they're starting to talk. They don't like that Zuko seemed comfortable around you and that you killed one of their really strong allies. Jet supplied them with a lot of information."

"He was  _insane_."

"You think they care?"

"He tried to kill me."

"This is a war. Yeah,  _I_  don't blame you for what you did. But...you were harboring an enemy. Zuko is kind of a big deal here."

"i know but…" The waterbender buries her face in her hands and  _breathes_. Toph's right - Katara had come to the same conclusion earlier - but she still doesn't like what she's saying. "I'm just...so confused and I don't know what to do."

Toph is silent. Then, Katara feels a sturdy, heavy hand slide across her back, tugging her up under her arm. "You do the only thing any of us have ever done:  _survive_."

Katara huffs and drops her hands into her lap. She looks at Toph even though she knows the girl can't see her.

"That's the thing, Toph. I don't want to just survive anymore. I want to  _live_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the support! I greatly appreciate it!


	22. Chapter 22

"I've been ordered to take you to Commander Hahn's chambers at once." The Northern warrior says when she steps outside the door.

 _How kind_. He waited until  _she_  chose to leave rather than barge in like some barbaric brute. Katara sniffs, raises a brow, and levels the taller man with a stare that shrinks him down beneath her. His hands clench at his side, his throat bulges from a swallow.

" _Oh_?" She asks though it's not really a question. "Well you can go tell your commander that I'm not a dog to be summoned whenever he pleases it. Just because I'm on  _his_  ship doesn't mean that I have to obey  _his_  orders. He's not superior to Commander Sangok, and  _that_  is who I defer to."

Toph behind her snorts. The boat dips from a harsh wave and the blind girl stumbles before clinging onto the fabric of Katara's tunic.

"Master Katara…" The man gulps again and she  _swears_  his eyes shift down to the floor in humility before he looks back up. "I think you should go to the Commander. Your father - "

She perks "My father?"

The warrior nods and she's worried that his head will fly off. "Yes - your father will be arriving soon and - " She breezes past him instantly, Toph grappling behind her to maintain a hold as the waterbender marches up the steps and leaves the warrior behind in the dark. "Wait - Master - "

Words are lost as she steps around the railing and to the back where Hahn's room is. She didn't expect her father to arrive so soon - Hahn had only notified he and her brother a few days ago. But if her father was coming, then that meant…  _Oh_.

Zuko.  _And_  news of Aang. She hadn't heard about him even before she was taken by Zhao.

"Watch what you say," Toph reminds her. "This isn't the time for - "

"I know," Katara cuts her off promptly, stopping in front of Hahn's door to soothe down her tunic so that she looks as put together as an iceberg. "Hama warned me earlier, too. Maybe he won't try to enrage me  _too_  much."

Toph just looks at her with blank eyes but Katara easily understands what she's saying. "Yeah.  _Right._  It's Hahn, here."

Katara opens the door, takes a breath and strides in as she always has: like she has nothing to worry about with this Northerners. They  _need_  her. Need her strength, her power, her blood ties to the Southern tribes. They may try to ignore just how  _badly_  they need her but they can't.

She knows.  _And_  Hahn knows. It was probably the only reason she wasn't locked up in some cell like Zuko was.

Thinking of the firebender clenches her stomach but she tries to shove that away as she meets Hahn's eyes. The room is filled with other Northerners, mostly Hahn's warriors, and Lu Ten with his handful of loyal firebenders.

 _Strange_. How is it that Prince is allowed free reign and friends while Zuko is being kept  _somewhere_  on this damned ship in the dark? Then again, Lu Ten has been with them for quite some time. He's proved his allegiance in numerous battles, even if he was still treated like a second class citizen in this room.

Perhaps they're not so different now that she thinks on it.

Maybe one day she'll stop comparing herself to firebenders. Who will it be  _next_?

She stops just before his desk, Toph behind her, and looks around at the others in the room. Men, of course, plus Hama - the only one who actually meets her eyes with a neutral face. So she looks back to Hahn, quirking an eyebrow expectantly.

"We've received word that your father will arrive soon. Perhaps tonight, maybe tomorrow morning. I'm sure that you're pleased to hear that." He says, but his words leave something to be desired.

"Of course. I look forward to seeing my family again in peace."

His lips curve into a bow that's waiting to be unleashed. "I'm sure you understand that once your father and brother arrive that we'll be able to make a decision as to what to do with the firebender - the Prince. We only need five votes."

Lu Ten. He's one of those votes. Part of the deal made a long time ago when he had only a few firebenders, not a ship like the one that he commands now.

She says nothing. Maybe Hama, her father, and brother will at least listen to her when they get will need to get to them before Hahn does -  _before_  he can make the situation out to be something that isn't.

Katara crosses her arms over her chest, glances over at Lu Ten before she looks back at Hahn. "I hope that you will all make the right decision. Killing civilians isn't something that we've prided ourselves on before."

Hahn just  _stares_  at her. "A firebending Prince doesn't exactly  _count_  as a civilian."

"It did when Lu Ten first came to us." She says, now pointedly turning to the former Prince. "How does it feel? Knowing that your own blood is somewhere on this ship  _rotting_?"

"A firebender is a firebender," he replies.

"Oh really?"

"Zuko hasn't proved loyalty to  _us_  or pledged allegiance to  _anyone_. He can't be trusted until we can make sure that he's turned completely against his father. And even then, he must be treated with caution and  _watched_."

"He's pledged allegiance to me. That  _should be_  good enough. He renounced his nation  _to me_  after we discovered that Zhao had him declared dead. I think that should at least count for something."

"With all due respect, Master Katara." Now it's Hahn speaking. "Given your circumstance, I can hardly count you as a reputable source for these  _claims_."

"And why not?" She whirls around, feeling ice grow along the base of her throat and spreading up her cheeks and into her eyes. "I've suffered just as much as  _anyone_  else in this room. I've contributed  _just as much_  and  _demand_  that same respect."

"It's not that, Katara," Hama says. "You've been under tremendous stress from being kidnapped and tortured by Zhao  _and_  from being in the Earth Kingdom with the firebender boy. We don't know what happened in those forests."

" _Nothing happened_ ," Katara stresses. "I'm fine - I  _swear_."

The older woman steps forward, gives her a soft smile that feels like a knife in the back. "It's just...perhaps you should wait and let everything absorb before you make rash decisions and judgements."

A wrinkled hand stretches out, graces against her own and Katara jerks away.  _No._  Not Hama - Katara shakes her head and shoots Hahn a glare. "I'm fine. I haven't been… _corrupted_  or anything."

"Ka - "

" _No_ ," she cuts Hama off, "you don't understand -  _none_ of you do. Zuko had every moment in that forest to kill me but he  _didn't_. Tried to capture me?  _Yes_. But alive. And now, he's here and willing to do  _something_  to help us. He has no where else to go. We can't turn him away like that."

A warrior sneers at her. "He's a firebender. We already have  _enough_  of those."

Lu Ten and the men at his side stiffen. "Oh? Well perhaps - "

" - he's right, we can't have any more of  _your kind_  on board - "

" - used not to even  _associate_  with the likes of you and - "

" - this alliance - "

" - should just  _kill_  the Prince now - "

" _No!_ " Katara hisses and steps towards the warrior who had  _dared_  mention  _killing Zuko_. "You will  _not_  harm him. You won't even  _touch_  him. Zuko is  _mine._  He brought me here instead of letting me  _die_  out there. I owe him and I  _won't_  let you harm him."

The man's eyes flash with something akin to fear before he straightens and masks himself in ice. "When did we start referring to Fire Nation prisoners by their first names? When did we refer to  _any_  of the Fire by their names rather than what they  _truly_ are."

"Since you entered into an alliance with people of the Fire." Lu Ten's voice is hard, eyes narrowing the warrior and the Northerner blanches.

This was becoming  _dangerous_.

"Enough," Hahn spits out harshly. He shoots a heavy glare to the warrior with the mouth  _and_  to Katara. "That's enough. We cannot make a formal decision about what to do with the Fire Prince until Hakoda and Sokka arrive."

Katara glares. "I meant what I said. I won't let you hurt him."

Hahn's grin makes her blood boil. "And what makes you think we haven't already?"

She tenses.

" _You son of a bitch_ ," she clenches between her teeth, leaping forward with her hands twisting and fingers arcing and then there's a wall -  _a body_  - that's between  _her_ and  _him_  and that  _damned smile_  that she wants to freeze off.

Lu Ten blocks her, grabs at her wrists and forces them behind her back and she keeps pushing forward, arching up to glare at Hahn with enraged eyes and a caged beast's snarl. "If I find out that you touched him, I'll kill you.  _I'll fucking kill you, Hahn._ "

The firebender pushes her back. He's a lot stronger than she is and all she can see is  _red_  as he forces her out of the room. Toph is somewhere, but all Katara can see is Hahn - smiling, treacherous as an ice bridge in the summer - and  _oh Spirits she wants her icy fingers locked around his neck._

She wants to feel his blood in her hands. Wants him underneath her control and  _screaming_.

The door slams shut and she can't see him anymore. But she can feel him.  _Hear_  him. The rage is still there and she wants to tear the door back open and shatter him to pieces on his own damned ship.

They keep moving and Katara keeps twisting out of the firebender's grip, her ankles dragging along the floor. Her throat is clenched, a sob choking her and she forces down the cold tears that try to blind her.

 _Zuko_. They - they couldn't - Hahn was bluffing, right? He had to be.  _He had to be bluffing._

A door opens and the next thing she knows, she's being flung into a room. Her hip hits the mattress of a cot and she hisses at the shooting pains. Tensing, she forces herself upright, glaring at Lu Ten as he slams the door shut behind him.

"Are you  _fucking_   _insane_?" He hisses. " _Threatening_  Hahn isn't going to get Zuko out of that cage any sooner."

"Like you've helped him! How could you let them touch him? He's your  _cousin_  - your _blood_ \- and you don't even  _care_!"

"If you think for one second that I don't care for Zuko, then you're wrong. But do you think that screaming and shouting threats at their faces is going to help him at all? If you do, then you're far more stupid than I thought."

"Don't even think to lecture me. If you supposedly care for Zuko, then what have  _you_  been doing to get him out of here? From what I could tell, you've done everything to keep him  _there_!"

Lu Ten exhales smoke through his nose. His fire doesn't wither from her ice.

" _Where_  do you think Zuko is the safest right now? Locked up somewhere where only Hahn can reach him? Or roaming around on a ship full of waterbenders who want nothing more than to watch him freeze?"

He waits for her answer. But Katara doesn't have one.

" _Exactly_. Name one Northerner on this ship that wouldn't jump at the chance to kill the Prince of Fire. You heard them in there. They hate me and my kind just as much as they hate Ozai; but they can't touch us. So who do you think they'll go after  _if_  Zuko could get out?"

"I would protect him."

"You can't even protect  _yourself_."

She glares at him.

"Getting Zuko here was the easy part. Keeping him alive? That's a whole other thing altogether that I don't think you've thought through."

"Of course I didn't. I didn't - I didn't  _expect_ …" She swallows, shifts on the cot. Didn't expect...what? Liking Zuko? Befriending him? Protecting him?  _Liking him_? "I didn't expect any of this to happen."

Lu Ten looks at her. Katara  _almost_  looks away. Then he clears his throat, nods. "Well now it has. And you have to figure out how to help him out of this mess that  _you_  put him in."

"And how am I supposed to do that? I don't even know where he  _is_. If he's  _safe_  or  _hurt_  or," she stops, jerks up. "Have you seen him? Is he...is he alright?"

She's almost scared to hear the answer.

"Yes, I've seen him. He's...fine. Enough, considering the circumstances. Hahn hasn't hurt him yet. Just tried to scare him a little."

Katara gulps. "Can you take me to him? I - I need to see him. For myself."

"Only on the condition that you keep your mouth  _shut_  and lay low for a while. You're causing too much uproar and you're only hurting yourself and Zuko. If you're trying to save him, you're doing a horrible job."

"Fine. Yes - I'll keep low or something." She sighs and nods. "I just need to see him to make sure that he's fine."

Lu Ten looks at her for another long moment. Then he nods and turns to the door. She gets up to follow when he holds a hand up. "No. Not right now. Do you think just  _any_  Northerner is going to let you and me  _both_  down there to see him?"

He scoffs. Katara narrows her eyes. He better be thankful that she  _needs him_  to check on Zuko because otherwise, she'd turn his heated blood into chunks of ice and laugh.

When he closes the door, Katara slides back down onto the cot and sighs.

She really hates when others are right and she's wrong.

-/-

After a while, Katara just sort of falls asleep. She's woken by a particularly rough wave. Her head hurts and there's a kink in her neck for some reason, so she rolls off and stands up, stretching out her limbs as best as she can.

Then she remembers. She hasn't looked at her scar since she's been on the ship.

There's a mirror in the corner. Small, but enough to check out her back. When she turns to look at herself, she's a little startled at her appearance - hair loose from the braid, tired and heavy eyes, collarbones and cheekbones a little sharper than they used to be.

She smooths her hair back and re-braids it as best as she can before she takes off the robe and the undershirt. Katara pauses at her bindings, but figures that she might as well re-wrap those now anyways. She tosses everything onto the bed and takes in a breath before she turns her back to the mirror.

It  _better_  be impressive.

Katara looks over her shoulder.

The first thing that she notices is that it  _is_  similar to Zuko's. She can tell where Zhao's hands touched her skin - where the heat hit her the most. Two dark, angry red splotches close to her shoulders surrounded by thick, mottled paler red scarring that stretches across the skin, stopping just above her hip area.

She likes it. Even if it's not…  _attractive_ , she still likes it. Worth the pain? Hardly. But representative of the pain? Yes.

Katara stands a little straighter. She reaches around, curious to feel it again now that she's seen it. Her fingertips run over raised skin, slight bumps and smooth valleys across the pink. Tough - like leather - in the red.

 _It's like Zuko's_. Just bigger. Was he reminded of his own scar and story whenever he saw her back?  _Had_  he seen her back?

Thinking of the firebender - and of him seeing her  _bare_  back - make her palms clench and she looks away from the impressive scar. She grabs the bindings and starts wrapping, typing it off at the end and tucking it to a secure place.

She pulls on a fresh blue tunic. Watertribe colors. When she looks back at the mirror after she pulls on the leggings, she's a little startled. She's just so used to black against her skin -  _not_  blue.

It makes her look softer. Her skin, lighter. Eyes bluer. The black was so severe against her skin and her features that it made her look like a completely new person. Now, back in the pale blues of the tribesmen, it's like she's being led back into her proper spot.

She looks like a tribesman again. It's...strange.

The band around the waist needs to be adjusted a bit. She's lost a lot of weight since she was in the forest and it shows. The sleeves are a little baggier and she's never seen her collarbones pop against her skin like this. Her face has changed too - the softness and roundness has left and has been replaced with sharp edges.

Her thighs are thicker though. It takes a bit of tugging to pull the leggings over them. Calves, too - they're more defined and tight when she bends down to touch them.

 _Odd_ , in a funny way - Katara has traveled across the Earth Kingdom and what does she have to show for it? Weight loss, muscled legs, a huge scar on her back, and a firebender boy that's in this ship somewhere.

There's a knock on her door and Katara turns just in time to see one of Lu Ten's firebenders - an older man with grey and white hair and thin lips - peeking his head in. Her escort. Lu Ten is holding up his promise.

"Master Katara," he acknowledges as he slides through the door, closing it behind him softly. It's sad that the firebender called her by her proper title without needing a reminder. Her own people - a Commander, at that - hadn't even bothered. "Master Lu Ten sent me to escort you to him."

He tosses her a black cloak. She grabs it and raises a brow.

"Concealment," he says and she nods, pulling it across her chest. "Do you know the layout of the ship?"

She shakes her head as she lifts the hood to cover herself. "No. Commander Sangok's ship was originally a fishing ship from the Southern Tribes. I'm not familiar with the way the Northerners set up their war ships."

He smiles a little. "I was wondering why you hadn't gone after him yourself."

"They'd expect me to. I'm afraid that if I did go after him on my own, things would only turn out worse for both him and I."

"True. Well, shall we?"

The hallway is lit with the dim light from the sunrise. Waterbenders would have just fallen asleep. The firebender leads her down a corridor, then turns to another. Hahn's ship is rather large, even by common standards. He and Hakoda had the largest Water Tribe ships ever made, specifically built to be actual warships.

He seems to know where he is going by instinct. Eventually, after so many twists that Katara thinks that he's just trying to confuse her, they go down a staircase and step into the belly of the ship.

Lu Ten is there. So is a waterbender guard but he doesn't even blink. "Paid," the firebender whispers in her ear when he notices her tensing shoulders.

That doesn't exactly appease her any. But she ignores it, shoves down the accusations of treason - because this  _is_  a violation of the Commander's orders but so is her even  _being_  here. In fact, Katara thinks that she's committed more acts of treason over the past few days than she even dreamed of.

They're in front of a door in the dark hallway that's lit only by a few spaced small torches. She draws the cloak tighter around her chest to block out the dampness that's in the air.

"Can I…?" She swallows, looking at the door. Suddenly, standing in front of it makes her anxious, worried. Like he's going to be angry at her -  _oh Spirits, what if he is angry with her?_  What if he blames  _her_  for all of this?

_What if?_

But Lu Ten nods. "Just remember what he has gone through and where he is now." He moves to open the door and pauses. "Now might also be a good time to tell him that I'm an ally. He doesn't know who I am yet."

 _Oh_. Right. She still hasn't told Zuko that his cousin is not only alive, but working with the tribesmen as well. That his cousin is trying to help them destroy Ozai and the Fire Nation that stands today. That at one point, he was even willing to destroy  _him_  if he tried to get in the way.

A great conversation to have. Especially when she isn't sure about the territory they are on now.

"Make it quick. I'll knock when it's time to get out."

She gulps. Nods at the firebender and tugs at the cloak some more. Appeased, Lu Ten turns the knob and the door creaks open to reveal a room that is just as dark.

Katara takes a breath - charred air - before she steps inside. Dark and at the bottom of the ship it is, but at least it isn't the cage that she imagined.

And there he is. Awake, sitting up on his palms across a cot dressed in the black tunic he wore in the forest and his hair in a mess around his narrowed, cautious eyes. He's tense. Long and his arms are clenched and his fists squeeze the thin sheets that cover the cot.

He wears thick gloves. Manacles are wrapped around his thin wrists and chains drape to the floor.

"Who - " He begins. But she silences him by reaching up and removing the hood, revealing her face to him in the dim light and he stops, takes in a sharp breath. " _Katara._ "

"Zuko." Katara takes a step forward - cautious because she still isn't sure if he blames her for the chains that bind him or not - and his fists relax a little so she takes another. Then another. And then she's standing  _right there_  with her thighs against the bed and her hands reach up to soothe his hair back. " _Zuko_."

There is a bruise on his cheek and a slice that's partially healed on his forehead. The corner of his lip is split and his forearms are raw from the manacles.

But he's here.  _He's warm_. Underneath her palms that are in his hair, he's  _alive_  and  _breathing_  and  _together_  and -

"You're alive."  _He_  says, like he expected something different and it's enough to make her pause. "They didn't tell me - they didn't let me  _know_  - and I didn't think that I - "

" _I'm here, Zuko_ ," she urges. Her fingers tighten around his hair, a little oily but she doesn't mind and it feels perfect regardless. "I'm alive. You're alive.  _We're_  alive."

His chains clink and then his arms wrap around her waist, tugging her forward and she shifts, propping her knees up on the bed. He buries his head in her chest right against her heart as if he's making sure that it's beating even though she's kneeling in front of him.

But she holds him there without saying a word. Because he's warm against her through the layers of clothes and he just feels so alive that it makes her heart twist and something hot pool at the pit of her stomach.

"I'm so sorry." She tells him. Katara holds him tight against her and she  _swears_  that she isn't going to cry; but the brush of the chains against her ankle remind her that they're in his  _cell_  even if it is a bedroom. And it's partly her fault that he's here.  _No_  - it's  _entirely_  her fault.

She keeps gripping his hair, sliding her fingers back and forth as if he's going to disappear from right underneath her. Right here, right now - she feels so raw it hurts.

"You're so stupid," she says, choking on a laugh that hurts her chest. "You should have left me out there. You don't - you don't  _deserve_  to be in here."

He squeeze his arms tighter. Katara is pulled against him more.

 _Stupid_. So stupid. He's alive and she's glad -  _thrilled_  - but he's here in the pit of a ship with Lu Ten right outside that door and waterbenders above them.  _So stupid_.

And she can't tell if she's glad - because at least here, he's  _here_. He's pressed against her and his arms are warm and heavy and his warm breath soaks through her tunic to heat her chest and  _he's here_. Alive. Solid, right in her arms and she can't help but squeeze him a little tighter.

Katara's legs give and she slides down a little, resting fully on the cot and she throws her arms around his neck, tugging herself up against him. " _I'm so sorry_ ," she whispers into his neck.

Her whole body aches and hurts because he's in one piece. It's more than she could have ever expected. She was so  _scared_  and  _worried_  that Hahn's teasing was true. She never expected him to be like this. One piece. Chains, yes. Bruised, yes. But that's nothing.

It could have been far, far worse. And she shudders just thinking about it.

"It doesn't matter. I'm here, okay?  _That_  matters. I'm here and you're here - isn't that what you said?" Zuko unwraps one arm to brush her braid down her back rather than where it was over her shoulder. She burrows closer.

Not too long ago, she was afraid to touch him. Three days ago, they had really touched for the first time in the forest. And now she was pressed against him so tightly that his weight crushed into her completely.

_How much time has passed already?_

"Zuko -  _Zuko_  - I don't have much time," she says. Her arms tighten and then she slides them back, letting go and he lets her. His eyes are wide, dark even in the dimly lit room. "Listen - I need to tell you - "

"I know. Hahn has already tried to get me to talk - I haven't told him anything but - "

"No, that's - that's not it." She shakes her head. "Your cousin - Lu Ten. He's  _alive_. He's alive and he's working with  _us_. He has been practically ever since he left the Fire Nation."

Zuko stiffens. Blinks. "Lu Ten? He's... _here_? Wh-Why didn't you tell me this earlier? How long have you know?"

I've know for a while," she admits. "I just didn't know how to tell you and there never seemed to be a right time for it. I'm sorry but - "

"No. No, it's...fine." He waves off her apology. "I probably should have  _expected_  it. It's just… I haven't seen him since I was a kid and…"

"He's -  _we're_  - trying to get you to safety. We want to get you out of here but it's not safe for you to be up there. But we're trying, Zuko, we haven't abandoned you.  _I_ haven't abandoned you. Toph, Lu Ten, his firebenders and I? We're making sure that nothing bad happens to you until then."

He gives her a wry grin but it falters quickly. "I know. I never doubted you, Katara. They haven't done anything yet but they seem to be getting frustrated. So far, it's been nonviolent. I don't know what they're playing at, but it won't last long."

Zuko grabs her hands, squeezes them. She squeezes back. The gloves block the heat though. She wants nothing more than to touch his bare skin.

"Just make sure that  _you_  stay safe. I didn't carry you all through the woods to the ship, get thrown into this room and chained to a bed just for you to destroy all ties to your tribe because of me." He laughs, smiling strongly this time. "You have to live with them, not me. Whatever happens - remember that."

Katara shakes her head. "I don't know what's going on anymore. They still  _treat_  me pretty much the same, but at the same time … I don't know but something has changed.  _I've_  changed. I won't let them hurt you."

"Don't risk  _anything_  for me. Do you understand? It's not worth it. It may take you some time to get used to things again but you have to stay low. These are your people. This is your home."

Then why does it feel so strange? Why does she feel so out of place? Why won't any of her people look her in the eyes?

"Everything is just happening so fast and I can't keep up with it all."

"Hey," Zuko cups her chin, tilts it up so that she can look at him better. "You're a waterbender, right? Waterbenders can't drown. Just breathe and push through this - just like you did that entire time out on my ship and in the forest. You didn't let Zhao get to you and you  _can't_  let any of this either."

She laughs, a sad, broken sound that feels as hollow as it sounds. "To think I came down here to comfort  _you_."

There's a knock and then the door opens. Zuko glances up, his hand that's still in hers clenches but then his whole body goes rigid.

"It's time. We need to get out of here before the guard rotates." Lu Ten. The door closes and she looks over her shoulder to see him warily walking forward. "Zuko."

"Lu Ten."

Katara tightens her fingers around his.  _She's here_. For him.

"Are you...holding up well?"

The corners of Zuko's lips twitch. "As well as a prisoner can. But, I've known others who have gone through worse." He looks at Katara and she shakes her head.

Her time on his ship? Nothing compared to what he could face. If the votes decide...things will not be so great down here for him.

 _No_. They have to get him off before that can happen though. She doesn't care what she has to do - who she has to pay or piss off -  _she will get him off this ship_. They won't even get the opportunity to hurt him.

"Good," Lu Ten says a bit awkwardly. "I've tried to make sure that you were well fed."

"Thanks. And...Uncle Iroh - is he safe?"

"We know where he's being kept. But we haven't gone after him just yet. Knowing him though, he should be holding up well. I think out of the two of you, you are in the worse position."

"He'll be fine," Katara assures.

"Katara, we need to go." Lu Ten says.

But she can't go. She can't leave him here, away from his sun like how he had kept her from her moon so long ago. It isn't right -  _it isn't fair_. Did he feel like this? Did he feel this guilt in keeping her apart from her element?

Their positions have been reversed. The game has changed. And Katara doesn't like it. Not. One. Bit. Because just as the game has changed, so has her entire life - her entire  _outlook._ Being with Zuko and getting to know him has altered her entire world. And feeling his hands squeeze hers where they lay in his lap, she knows without a doubt that he feels the same way.

" _Katara_." Lu Ten is impatient. How can leaving Zuko here be so easy for him when it's so hard for her? They're  _blood_.

Maybe it's because he hasn't shed blood for Zuko like she has. Maybe it's because Zuko hasn't shed blood for Lu Ten like he has for her.  _Sharing_  blood ties them together loosely. But  _shedding_  it has tied her to Zuko in a way that she can't even describe.

Katara pulls her hands away only to latch onto him again with her arms wrapped around him. He surges into her, grabbing onto her and pulls her against him again.

 _She can't leave him._ Not again. Not like this. Not down here, with his hands manacled and palms covered.

When Lu Ten sighs behind them, Zuko gently pushes her away. He smiles. "Remember what I said."

"Remember what  _I_ said." She tries to return the smile. Fails. "I will protect you. I promise."

"We  _need_  to leave.  _Now_." Lu Ten grabs her arm and starts to pull her away from the bed. "The new guard will be down here any moment."

"I can walk myself," Katara hisses, yanks her arm out of his grasp. Zuko sits stiffly and narrows his eyes at his cousin. Lu Ten huffs, throws his hands in the air, and marches out of the room without her.

Zuko's chains clink as he shifts on the cot. "Watch him. Watch  _everyone_ , Katara. Be careful out there -  _up_  there."

"I will. And...you too, Zuko." She gulps, backing up towards the door because she can't bring herself to turn her back on him. "I - "

But the door closes before she can finish. She  _growls_  at Lu Ten, who has his hand pressed on the door and a scowl on his face.

"Sweet. But we need to get up there before they realize we're not on deck."

"You didn't have to do that."

His hand grabs her arm and he pulls her towards the stairs. She stumbles, but follows after him because she can't yank her arm away. "You already took too long. If they find out - "

"They're  _not_. Now  _stop."_

 _"_ Do you know what I'm risking here?"

"Do you know what  _I'm_  risking here?" She fires back. Katara finally rips her arm out of his and glares. They're on the second floor and he  _finally_  stops, turning to glare down at her. "We may be some sort of...messed up allies here. But  _don't_  touch me again."

"Then don't make me regret trusting you."

"I have more to worry about with  _you_  when it comes to that."

"Don't think that because I wasn't there for him  _then_  that I won't be there for him  _now_. Family is important in the Fire Nation."

"Yeah. I have seen tons of examples of  _that_." She steps right up to him and he squares his shoulders to prepare for an onslaught. "Thanks for taking me down there to see him. I really appreciate it. But don't think that I'm just going to trust you completely because of that. I don't like you any more than you like me. But as long as you're looking out for Zuko then that's enough for me."

He cocks a brow, surprised, and smiles. "Didn't expect any less." Then he backs away towards the stairs that lead up to the deck and she waits. "But do remember what he said, Katara. Be careful up there. A little more so than you have so far."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a little longer than normal. But I figured I would make up for the two-week wait by writing more in the Zuko/Katara meeting. Hope that it was okay... haha. :)
> 
> Thank you so much for all of the support! I'm thrilled that y'all are liking it so far. It means so so so so much. 
> 
> Just to let you know, I've posted a new fanfic, Rise and Fall. It's Zutara, naturally. It's also rather AU and more of an epic-fantasy type thing. So if you're looking for something else to read... It would mean a lot to get some feedback!


	23. Chapter 23

Katara is a little surprised when she goes into her room and finds Hama perched on her cot. Weathered hands folded, blue robes loose around her petite frame, and blue eyes that hold accusement in them when she looks up.

The younger waterbender pauses, hand sliding down the frame of the door before she closes it softly, leaning against it. What was her Master doing in here? Did Hama - did she  _know_? Could she tell her?

Hama sighs and looks down at her hands. Katara's back is against the cold wood. "I've been told that a firebender came to your room last night. I was also just informed that you were seen with Lu Ten in the lower levels of the ship."

"You've been spying on me?" Katara arcs an eyebrow. Her heart pounds and she  _knows_  Hama can hear it.

Here, she has no advantage. None. Hama is the master of tricks and deceit. A bloodbending trait, no doubt. At least, that's what the Northerners would say.

Pale blue eyes narrow sharply. "After your outburst yesterday,  _yes_. I have been watching you. Others have, too. You're brewing a strong storm, Katara. And I'm not sure if it's the kind that you want to create."

Katara swallows. "I don't want to cause any trouble."

"But you are." Hama's smile is as pale as her skin. "You should just be lucky that I paid off Hahn's spy that caught you leaving the bottom level - the level where the Fire Prince is being held."

Oh. So Hama  _does_  know. She knew where Zuko was being kept all along - knew that he was fine but hadn't said  _anything_  about it. Even when Katara was vocally questioning about the firebender's health. She  _knew_. And she hadn't said  _anything_.

"You should have told me." Katara's voice is sharp and cold like ice. "You knew he was fine and you said  _nothing_."

"The Fire Prince's health is nothing that should concern a Water Tribe warrior."

"But I'm not  _just_  a warrior, Hama. Zuko - "

" -  _the Fire Prince_  - "

" - I was responsible for his health. I brought him here and I have  _every right_  to know how he's doing."

"No, you don't."

"Yes, I do."

"Katara -  _stop this right now._  All of this  _sympathy_  and attachment for that boy will give you nothing but pain. You've worked too hard to be respected by these Northerners and you would throw it all away for  _this_  - for  _him_? An enemy?"

"He's not an enemy though. He's - he's a friend.  _My_  friend."

Hama's lips part like she's going to continue berating her but she stops, sighs and closes her eyes. Her hands rake over her thighs and she reaches to soothe back her greying hair. Shakily, she stands, no taller than Katara's shoulders but the look she gives her makes Katara feel like  _she's_  the small one.

Like she's no taller than a snowpenguin.

"I love you, Katara, like one of my own. We're the only two Southern Benders. Our culture's style will be lost if you continue like this.  _They_   _will kill you_."

Katara shakes her head. "No they won't. Bloodbending is - "

"They will find other ways to make prisoners talk. They'll manage just like they did before. No one is important here.  _Everyone_  and  _everything_  is replaceable in war. That is a lesson you need to learn  _now_  before you get yourself into any more trouble."

"I can't just leave him down there. I can't let them hurt him like that."

"You need to stop thinking of  _him_  and start thinking of yourself." Hama says, not unkindly. Her face is softer now, eyes no longer filled with accusations.

She's just looking out for her. But at the same time, Katara wishes that she would just  _understand_. Zuko had made sure that Katara was safe - Katara wanted to return the favor.

And what she had said was true. Zuko  _was_  her friend. Seeing him just a little while ago - it had  _done_  something to her.

She realized that she needed him safe. Not only for  _favors_  or anythign like that, but because she  _needed_ him safe. He calmed her. She was at ease with him - well, as much of an ease as she could manage - and she  _missed_  him. Their talks - even their fights. She missed it - missed  _him_  and she wanted more of it.

Perhaps even needed it. Despite all that she had put him through, he still trusted her and even respected her. That was all more than she could even say for her own kind.

He was Fire, but he didn't look at her as just Water.

But Hama couldn't understand that. Wouldn't. The war had gone on for too long, had taken too many lives to even offer that moment. And Katara pitied her for that. Pitied her just like she pitied herself before she knew Zuko.

"Okay." Katara says with a nod. It's not technically a lie. Could Hama hear her heartbeat? Was she reaching out to sense the way her blood rushed through her veins?

Hama's smile is soft and sad as she presses a wrinkled hand to Katara's cheek. "I know it will be difficult, and I can't act as if I understand what you are going through. But you attachment  _must end_. We have fought this long and hard for a reason. Don't forget that."

"I haven't. I won't."

"Good." She nods approvingly and drops her hand. The coolness stays. "Your father and brother will arrive with the Avatar shortly." Then, a smile. A true one. "And Sangok, as well."

Sokka. Aang. Sangok. She'll  _finally_  see them again. Her grin hurts her cheeks, her heart swells.  _Finally_.

"Try to keep a level head. Remember what I told you: do everything you can to save yourself first. This war -  _winning it_  - is more important than a short, loose friendship."

"Yes, Hama."

Katara steps away from the door as Hama moves towards it with a pale smile still stretched across her lips. "Eventually, everything will fall back into its' proper place."

Katara nods, not trusting herself to speak because she might object. Hama seems appeased though, and she opens the door and steps out with comforting eyes and the smile.

The door closes and Katara isn't sure if she's ever felt so...betrayed.

-/-

"I'm not trying to say that Lu Ten is a jerk but… Lu Ten is a jerk."

"Toph, he didn't have to do that," Katara says even though she  _does_  agree with her. Just because they are allies doesn't mean that she has completely overlooked her distaste for the firebender. He's just slightly redeemed in her eyes. Enough to let her trust him  _a little_.

" _So_? What's that supposed to mean?" Toph just  _looks_  at her. Blinks. "For all you know he could be trying to ease his way close to you so that you'll turn against Hahn even more."

The waterbender scowls. "I was never turned  _towards_  Hahn to begin with."

"You know what I mean."

"Yes, I do. But right now, that's just something I'm going to have to risk. He has more influence over the men and I can't get Zuko to safety on my own."

"No shit. After your threats to Hahn yesterday? I was just about to drag you out myself but then jerkbender did it for me."

" _Toph_."

"And you won't have to do it on your own anyway. You have me." Katara raises a brow even though she knows Toph can't see her. The earthbender pauses, blinks again, and frowns. "Oh.  _Right_. They hate me, too."

Katara nudges Toph to keep quiet as a Northern passes them on the deck of the ship. Toph has managed to develop a stronger stomach out of necessity, and seeing as how Katara really wanted the salty sea on her skin, she had urged the earthbender out of the dark room and into the sun.

Problem was, there were a few Northerners around. Northerners that  _had_  distanced themselves at first, but now kept looking their way and walking nearby. They probably looked suspicious - a waterbender and an earthbender sitting  _together_.

Two of the most distrusted, outcasted benders aboard the ship talking in hushed tones. Katara wasn't surprised that a whole group of Northerners hadn't just sat in their laps already.

The man glances down at Katara but says nothing, passing by slowly before speeding up to go over to the ropes.

"Fucking Northerners," Toph hisses under her breath. "I can't even see them but I  _know_  they walk around with sticks up their asses."

"They're not all like that," Katara says, somewhat weakly. "I've met some Northerners that weren't bad. My Captain, Sangok, he is one of my best friends."

Toph waves her hand. "It's not  _just_  Northerners, actually. I've noticed as the war keeps going on that everyone is like this. This…  _fucked_ , I guess. Paranoid. Rude. Sneaky. Have to be, to live in this world and survive. I'm only fussing about the Northerners because they hate me something fierce  _and_  I've been around them too long."

Katara chuckles and tucks some loose hair behind her ear. "Try being around them your whole life. Dad took Sokka and I away from the villages in the South when I turned seven."

" _Sheesh_ , really? Why?"

"I could bend. There hadn't been a Southern bender in years besides Hama, and she was on the war ships. I needed training, so he brought me to the Masters. Sokka went with he and Bato to learn how to Command and fight." She chews on the inside of her cheek, ignoring the tightness in her chest.

She remembers those nights all too well. Cold blankets and scratchy cots. Ships that never stopped rocking and walls that absorbed cries.

If it hadn't been for Hama, Sanogk, and even Pakku - Katara isn't sure that she would have developed somewhat  _normally_. Her Northern cousins - they have prejudices against female benders  _and_  Southerners in general.

"So your dad just, like,  _left you_?"

The waterbender shrugs. "He needed to. He couldn't teach me what I needed to know and others could. Besides, the Southern warriors don't like being commanded by Northerners. There are so few of us left that he had no other choice."

Toph whistles between her teeth. "Still, you have to admit that's pretty fucked up."

"It needed to be done. I was able to see them every few months or so." She tugs on the sleeves of her blue Tribal outfit, head tucked. "But doesn't everyone have their own 'sad' stories here?"

"Yeah but… _fuck_. Six?"

"I wasn't  _fighting_  then, Toph. I didn't…" She gulps down something nasty. Frowning, she checks her hands, runs her fingers over the tough skin of her palms. "I didn't kill my first man until I was twelve."

Toph is quiet.

"He was really young, I think. I'm not for sure. I never used weapons - only bending, and he was so far away on another ship that I don't even know what he looked like. But his heart was strong." She looks over at the smaller girl. "He was an earthbender. The rock he threw to try to stop my water whip cracked one of my ribs."

"My first kill was a nonbender," Toph's words are almost a whisper and can barely be heard over the wind. "I remember him clearly - I was ten and he was around thirty, I think. From the way his heart beat and his voice, I assumed thirty-ish. I had just escaped my parent's house and he tried to drag me into some cart.  _Slaver_. Rescued three other girls and a teenage boy."

Katara remembers the slavers  _she_  hurt outside Haru's village. They were popular in the Earth Kingdom, helped by the chaos of the warring guerilla fighters and the Fire camps.

Their rebellion - broken, but a rebellion all the same - had inadvertently helped some of the most despicable people in this world. Her stomach twists.

"I still felt weird after that. Even knowing who he was and what he  _did_." Toph shifts on the barrels that they're sitting on. "He didn't scream but his hands shook when he saw the boulder that was flying towards him was controlled by me."

There's a pregnant pause. The waterbender shifts, rocks with the ship as it bobs against a rough wave. Water sprays against her face and sticks to her hair, but it offer no comfort. Not here - not right now. Not when there's something far heavier on her shoulders that presses her into the wood.

"I used to dream about the first man I killed with my bare hands. Used a knife on Zuko's ship - a guard,  _Ji_ , who tried to rape me. I wasn't going to let him touch me. Even though - even though what he tried to do was... _horrible_ , I still thought,  _dreamed_  about it."

Toph nods slowly. "Does Zuko know?"

"He knew the moment after it happened," she affirms. How long ago  _was_  that night? "He didn't punish me for killing one of his men. He just told a guard to have someone clean up the mess and urged me to take a bath because I was  _covered_  in blood.

"After that night, I dreamed of red. Slick,  _warm_. Odd, isn't it? I'm a bloodbender, but I never really knew how blood felt on my skin until I had my hands drenched in it. Bending doesn't cause that much blood. Water washes it away; fire seals the wound; earth crushes. None of it makes it spill as much as actual weapons do."

She pauses. Sighs. "Zuko seemed to understand that even when I didn't understand it myself. When I woke up from a particular bloody nightmare, he was there and held my hands down so that I wouldn't peel the skin off my arms to get the red off. I think - I think that was the moment when I realized that Zuko was more than my enemy."

Toph doesn't say anything. Not for a few moments. And then, "I've never killed anyone with my bare hands. I've thought about it - wondered how it would  _feel_. But I've never worked up the courage to. Watching my first kill die...that was  _more_  than enough for me."

"I don't know which is worse: not seeing the man you killed or remembering his face." In her dreams, the man could be anyone. He  _was_  everyone. But at the same time, dreams of Ji's wide eyes and garbled cries haunted her just as much.

"I've often wondered that myself and realized that I would rather just not know. You'll just get a headache thinking about it. It's like trying to figure out what's really evil and what's not. Nothing is ever black and white, especially in this world - in  _war_."

The corners of Katara's mouth lifts. "I think this conversation is getting a lot deeper than we expected or even  _wanted_."

Toph grimaces. "That seems to happen with us, doesn't it?"

Another guard passes them by but doesn't glance down at them like the other did. There's a firebender on deck now, standing just far enough away on the surface that she wouldn't have noticed him if she hadn't looked up. He meets her eyes and then looks ahead, breaking from her as a warrior sneers at  _him._

Hama and Hahn are not the only ones watching her. Who else will be added to that list?

Who else  _is_  there to add?

Katara sighs and turns away, folding her arms against the wooden railings of the ship and looks to her element.  _Water._  Once, she thought that water could erase all of her problems. As long as she got Zuko to water and ice, everything would be fine.

But circumstances changed just like the tides that controlled the water.

She's looking out across the flat blue when she spots it - a dark spot, breaking the connection between the sky and the sea and she narrows her eyes, shifting her palms to press against the wood as if it will help her see better.

"A ship!" The lookout calls. "Water Tribe - blue sails!"

 _Water Tribe_. Dad. Sangok. Aang.  _Sokka_.

Her cheeks ache as the biggest smile slides it's way across her face and she grips the railing tightly, practically willing the ship that's far enough away to move  _faster_  somehow.

She's been separated from her family and friends for longer than a month before. But all of the near-death experiences that had happened make her just want to  _see_  and  _hold_  them. Tightly. Like she'll never be able to again.

Because at one point, she almost thought that she would never be able to do that again.

"Hey, does that mean - " Toph muses.

"Yes! That has to be my family.  _Has_  to be."

The earthbender stands up. Stout, short legs wobble a bit when the ship hits through an aggressive wave but she grabs onto the railing to steady herself.

"You know what this means, right?"

"I'll get to see my family." Katara looks down at her brightly.  _Excited_. She's missed them so much and -

"They'll now decide Zuko's fate. He won't be protected any longer."

Katara blinks. What? Then…  _Oh._  Oh.

 _No_.

-/-

The spot next to Hahn - the captain of the receiving ship - should be occupied by Lu Ten, as an honored guest. But he's not standing there. He's two spots down. It's almost a slight -  _would_  be a slight, because in a way, it's almost a demotion.

His spot is for a waterbending guard. Not a firebending heir.

But no, he's there. Nervously clenching his fists because Hama makes all of the firebenders tremble a bit. His spot - the  _honored guest_  - is occupied by Katara.

And she knows  _exactly_  what message Hahn is trying to send out by the switch.

Normally, she'd be in the back. Nothern customs - the stupid bloated  _ridiculous_  ceremonial welcomes that they believe display their betterness over the 'barbaric' Southerners - dictate that women be behind the men as a form of protection.

Like she needs it. But that isn't the point. The point is the  _honored guest_  position is really just a nice way for the Captain to display some sort of mistrust. If there isn't a guest on the ship, the spot would be empty. But there  _is_ a guest and it's Lu Ten. He's beside  _her_  though and  _she's_  the guest.

Hahn doesn't trust her. Never has. But now he's boldly showing it.  _Publicly._  Right when her father, brother, Sangok and Aang board.

_He's setting them against her before she even gets a chance to speak._

The way that Hahn smirked at her when she opened her mouth to protest earlier shows that he knows she knows what he's getting across. Tui _, everyone_  probably knows. The message isn't exactly subtle here.

Between the clenched fingers and the huff of indignation, Lu Ten remains silent. He's steaming under his black robes with the red sash. But when she was going to demand another spot from Hahn, she felt warm fingers squeeze her arm and she  _knew_  it was him.

 _Right._  So she stopped herself.  _For Zuko_. The embarrassment and humiliation could be swallowed for now. They  _both_ would have to. It's important to remember that she isn't the only one being slighted here.

So she forces everything down. It's fine.  _She can take it._  If being Hahn's little pet for now will get her what she wants in the end then fine, she'll do it. She has no plans of staying too long in this position anyway.

If anything, this new spot gives her permission to just rush forward when her brother and father climb ono board. She's humiliated enough already. Breaking ranks to run like a little girl and embrace her family won't do anything to her reputation. She  _barely_ has one left anymore.

The other Water Tribe ship pulls in close, blue sails large and dominating the view from the deck. Then a platform is being pushed across and levels out a path between the two railings.

She sees her father before she sees Sokka. He steps up, wide shoulders and narrow waist with a large smile on his face. Like her, he has never been one for the ceremonies of the Northerners. It isn't the Southern way. It's ridiculous.  _Stuffy_. Boring.

Katara beams. She feels like she's jittering in place. She presses her palms into her sides as Sokka starts to come across as well, his wolf's tail used to distinguish him from the rest. But now that he is a man and has fought in numerous battles, it's been traded for the shoulder-length cut like her father's and Bato's with white beads signifying each victory.

Sokka has a lot of white braided into his dark hair. But her father and Bato have more. So much in fact, that they moved the beads to their beard and even around their neck like necklaces.

Hahn has no beads. He isn't a  _warrior_  like the Southerners are.

"Katara!" Sokka edges around their father as soon as he hits the platform and then she's running forward - straight into his outstretched arms and he catches her like she  _knows_  he will. He smells of ice and salty water. Feels like home.

He squeezes her too tightly but that's all right because she wouldn't ask for all of the air in the world to replace this.

" _Yikes_! You're just as cold as I remember!" He laughs even though she  _thinks_  he can hear something break in his voice as she shoves her face into his chest. Has he grown taller in the past month? He's  _certainly_  grown wider.

She digs her nails into his back for the comment but otherwise doesn't let go. Sokka holds her tighter, completely enveloping her like she's warm, not cold.

"You're not as bony as  _I_  remember," she snipes back. Something lodges in her throat and she can't force it down this time. It's stuck. Painful. But it's the  _good_  kind of pain - the kind of pain she thinks people feel when they're so happy that the world stops because the feeling is to perfect for time to ruin.

Katara recognizes the heavy, broad hand that soothes down her hair and her braid to be her father's, and then she's being tugged away from Sokka's chest into his'. Her arms can't  _quite_  fit around his waist like they could her brother's, but she manages.

Hakoda smells of seal and fur, like smoke from the fireplace outside their igloo or his heavy coat after a hunt when they take breaks from the war because otherwise they'd go insane. He smells of safety. Security. As long as she stays here, nothing but the cold can touch her. And she welcomes the cold just like she welcome his scent.

He holds her tight to his chest like he's scared she's going to disappear again. Cheek pressed against his chest, she can hear -  _feel_ \- his heart hammering like the drums they use during spirit festivals.

Her neck is cradled in his hand. He's supporting a lot of her weight, pulling her body up to meet him so that she can wedge perfectly into him.

She's a child again. Young, little, light. And he's her father. There's no war. No death. No one watching every move they make. No one waiting for them to fail. No one wanting them.

There's even no one to  _save_.

When she pulls away, there are tears in her eyes and a deep gash in her heart.

Because this is too beautiful. It's too good. And nothing in this world that resembles that  _ever_  remains. Something will change - and it will change soon. But for now, is this enough?

Sokka pulls her right back into him and she thinks  _yes._ Perhaps, for now - for this moment, this  _minute_  - it can, and will, be enough to last her a lifetime.

"Katara!" It's the Avatar -  _Aang_  - and he's grinning from ear to ear as he bends his way across the space between the ships, creating a wind that stings her eyes. She breaks from Sokka just to collapse right back into Aang.

When had everyone become so  _tall_? Or maybe they just seemed tall. Her head brushes the underside of Aang's chin and his arms are just as noodly as ever as he wraps them around her.

"Missed you, 'Tara."  _He_  sounds happy. There's no air of finality here, though she never expected one. Aang hadn't been the happy kid that he was after he discovered the remains of the Air Temples. But he has his moments - the vignettes - and she happens to be caught up in one of them.

And for some reason,  _this_  doesn't tear her heart like it had with her brother and father. But maybe that was because he always carried that feeling with him...and she was just used to it.

She squeezes again and breaks away so that she can look up at him. "Been practicing that move I taught you before I left?"

"Of course," he beams, proud. "Waterbending moves work really well with airbending."

"Good." She breathes in -  _autumn_ , the scent that only  _he_ carries. Katara drops her arms and steps away, turning to grin at her family -  _the only blood she has left_  - and Sokka clasps a hand on her shoulder. "Where's Sangok?"

"He's - "

"Right here, 'Tara." She peeks past Sokka's arm and he moves out of the way so that her oldest friend can hug her just like everyone else has. Katara laughs, breezy, and Sokka's hand falls off as she throws her arms around his neck.

He smells like wood and seawater. Feels cold as the ice he bends. She's felt colder though - those nights on his ship, his hand slipping across her bare skin as they touched and tasted each other, reveling in the ice they made together.

But seeing them now wouldn't hint that they were -  _had been_ \- lovers. Just close friends. Good thing, too. The Northerners believe such affection and acts be kept within marriages - or at least, betrothals. But Katara never held those beliefs herself, and the Southerners weren't blind to the needs of bodies.

Sangok pulls away and she steps back respectfully. His face becomes a mask of ice again and he looks to Hahn over her shoulder. To Hahn's credit, he  _has_  given her the reunion that she needs -  _needed._ He could have cut it short for the name of ceremony but he hadn't.

He slighted and humiliated her.  _But_  he let her love on her family and friends without a word. When she turns to look at him, his face betrays nothing.

Her brother's hand brushes at her braid.

Hahn steps forward. "Captains, I'm pleased to see that you left the Serpent's Pass to meet us." He turns to his crew and waves a hand, "dismissed." And just like that, the ceremonial stances fall apart as the crew moves about.

Lu Ten shoots her a look but falls back. It's not his time. This is for her.

"It was a little out of the way," Hakoda admits. "You were  _very_  close to the Fire Nation itself and we were not sure if your ship was captured or not."

"I was expecting new intel. I was  _not_  expecting Master Katara. A pleasant surprise considering that we thought her gone. At least, that was the last word from Captain Sangok."

Sangok stiffens. The pang of being left behind for dead tatste like bile in the back of her throat and she remembers the way she felt when Hama first told her that Sangok had declared her dead. "We were ambushed by Zhao's men. Master Katara  _did_  disobey orders to retreat and rushed forward by herself."

"I thought I could bring the ship down by myself." Katara's cheeks burn a bit. "I was wrong,  _clearly_. But I made it out alive regardless."

"Barely. Hama told me of your extensive burns. But your defiance and dismissal of orders can be overlooked. Your luck is to be celebrated. And as it turns out, you brought back something far better."  _That smile._ Hahn's words and look make her stomach turn to acid.

"Yes, we heard of the Fire Prince. He's in a prisoner's hold, I expect?" Her father says.

"Of course."

Hama slides around Hahn to smile. "Chief Hakoda, a pleasant sight. You make an old woman happy."

"Master Hama. The pleasure is all  _mine_ ," he grins, a smile that makes bloodbender sigh. He glances at the younger Hahn before fixing Hama with a knowing look. "How does the Fire Prince fare?"

"He hasn't been touched. Captain Hahn, for all of his flaws  _has_  obeyed that order."

Hakoda nods approvingly.

"He's harmless," Katara turns to face her father. "He saved my life. He - "

"I believe Master Katara has been influenced by the firebender. She has been through many traumatic experiences," Hama says, soothing a hand over her shoulder. "Her burn scars along her back were extensive. Torture, no doubt."

Hakoda's eyes tighten for a moment. Sokka's grow darker as his lips purse. Sangok lifts his chin while Aang's fists tighten.  _Protective as always._

"I'm fine, father. The scars were given by Zhao,  _not_  Zu-the Fire Prince."

Hahn ignores her. "The firebender brought Master Katara unconscious onto the ship after she defended him against one of my intel sources - a source that has helped us and has proved reliable for the past few years. She was wounded before the firebender killed my source after an argument began between them about the Fire Prince himself."

"No - well,  _yes_  that's true but Zuko was protecting me. He didn't hurt me. And be brought me  _here_  so that I wouldn't die out there from bloodloss. He isn't an enemy. He's a  _friend_. An ally, even. He had every opportunity to hurt me or kill me out there but he  _didn't_. I - "

"Perhaps we could hold Council to speak of the matter?" Hama interrupts, squeezing Katara's shoulder tightly.

 _Council_. That means that she won't be able to speak. She won't be able to  _talk_  or hear what they're saying. It will just be Lu Ten there to speak on Zuko's behalf. And even he…

"Father,  _please_. Sokka - "

"This is a matter for the Council, Katara," Sangok says.

"We will hear what you have to say on the firebender's account later. But for right now, I believe the matter would be better discussed until we can figure out...what might have happened on that ship." Sokka agrees.

"But - "

"Avatar Aang, will you make sure my daughter makes it to her room safely? Perhaps  _fill her in_ on some things that have happened this past month?" Hakoda says tightly. Katara's mouth drops. "Katara, lots have happened since you've been gone. I think that after hearing some of that, it might help you realize the importance the Fire Prince's fate has on the rebellion."

"But father, I'm not - "

"I'm sorry. But ultimately the decision is the Council's. We  _will_  hear what you have to say. Just not now." Sokka's eyes do hold some apology in them.

"You are clearly attached, and that's understandable given the circumstances." Hakoda explains.

Katara shrugs Hama's hand off her shoulder, sight that all of the men notice, and she steps away to stand beside Aang.

 _Remember what Lu Ten said_. Zuko wouldn't be alone in the Council room. Lu Ten would say something on his behalf. And they said they would call her back. She's...torn, but what choice is there?

The already think her brainwashed somehow. No doubt Hahn said  _that_  in his letter. If she continued speaking out against her dismal now, wouldn't that add to it?

The odds were against her. What other choice does she have now?So, she says nothing. Aang's hand is gentle on the small of her back as he turns her away from them.

She leaves, Zuko's fate in the Council's hands for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your patience and your continued support. I appreciate it so much!
> 
> I am also doing fanfiction recs for AtLa, LoK, & SnK (Attack on Titan.) I not only rec my own, but I post recs that others send in. If you would like to know more about that, just check out my tumblr and you’ll see all of the info that you’ll need. I would greatly appreciate your recs! :)
> 
> Thanks for reading! xo


	24. Chapter 24

"Katara, what is going on?"

"I could ask you the same question, Aang. What's happening? What was my father talking about out there?  _What's happened_  that has everyone so...so…  _anxious_?" Katara rounds on him as he closes the door.

The Avatar face pinches and his brow furrows. But then he sighs, shoulders drooping a way that makes her stance widen. What…? Something  _was_  happening. Something  _is._  And it's big. Aang - he wouldn't be like  _this_  if it wasn't.

"Aang…" She trails off, reaching forward between them to put a hand on his shoulder. He looks up from the floor, blue eyes wide and she  _swears_  they're swimming. "Aang, what's going on?"

"We were attacked. Three days ago near the Serpent's Pass. Fire Nation ships were supposed to be closer to the Pass itself and  _not_  the coast where we were but somehow they were there. They  _knew_. Like they were  _waiting_  on us or something."

She blinks. "So...what? They intercepted you and attacked the ship? Was anyone hurt?"

"All of Sangok's men are  _gone_ , Katara.  _All of them._  We weren't even there to  _fight_  - we needed supplies and checked on the healers that were there in the refugee hospitals." Aang blinks, eyes bluer now that they're watering up. "That's why he's still with us and not back in the North. His ship, his crew. They're  _gone_."

"The whole crew?" She swallows down. "They're gone.  _My_  crew - Sangok's crew...they're just... _gone_. Gone?" Katara chokes, a fumbling hand brushing against her lips as she clamps it over her mouth tightly.  _Oh._

A whole crew.  _Her_  crew. The crew of  _young_ , nearly inexperienced  _nonbenders_  dead. Most of them were barely adults. Most of them…

She clenches her teeth so hard that her jaw burns with the fire of a fierce cold blast and she swallows down every single sob that threatens to rip her throat to shreds. Katara burns - but a different kind of fire licks at her veins and her heart throbs but she has to  _push it down_  because Aang is barely keeping it together and they both can't break apart at the same time.

Because even though those crew members were their friends… Katara gulps another sob down, takes in a shaky breath… this is not unexpected. A painful surprise, yes; but they have lost before. Friends, family.

It takes too much to grieve. And Aang needs this more than she does. The others - her brother and father - they don't understand the airbender like she does. Like she  _can_.

Feelings are for women; and a woman she is. For Aang though, she will become the man the Northerners  _wished_  she was.

Aang's head rests on her shoulder as she soothes her hands up and down his back, pulling him closer and closer so that she can walk back to the bed. She sits, and he kneels down onto the floor because with his height it's more comfortable.

And he cries. He has been holding this in for days. Sometimes, it isn't enough to cry at night.

The boy that is supposed to save them all is not built for war. There is no place for sacrifice in his heart. No place for loss. That was destroyed when he saw the ghosts of his home temples two years ago.

 _All of those boys._  Gone. They were just a little older than Aang's fifteen years. Some of them were Sangok's and Katara's age, but a lot… a lot of them were younger. And they were gone.

Gone _._  Deceased.  _Dead_. Words like that don't mean anything in relation to the finality of the acts they describe.

She recites their names like a mantra in her head as she lets Aang clutch on to her. His tears soak through her robes but she doesn't dry them away. Katara just goes through the names. Over. And over. And over.

Soon, she will forget the names. Just like she has forgotten other's and just like she'll expect her name to be forgotten when she dies. But for now, she remembers them. And they live for just a little while longer.

Aang sniffles. Done, for now, he leans back, wipes his nose and eyes with the sleeve of his monk's robes and sits back on his heels. He doesn't look ashamed of his tears. Not like Sangok had when the first of his crew had died under his command a year ago.

It takes him a minute to get himself back together. And even then, his eyes still look haunted and heavy and her hand doesn't stop soothing over the smooth skin of his head.

"Your father thinks there is a traitor in the ranks. I wasn't supposed to overhear but… he and Sokka were talking one night when I couldn't sleep after... _you know_  and they said that the firebenders were too prepared, positioned too perfectly to ambush us.

"It was..  _horrible._  Everything was burning and  _smoking_. And there was a girl, black-haired with a vicious voice demanding our surrender. When Hakoda refused and charged forward to leap onto her ship, she laughed.

"Sangok's ship burned with bright blue flames. He was lucky enough to have already been on our ship before the ambush." Aang breaths in. He presses his palms into the eyes as if to push the images out of his mind and his shoulders rattle again.

 _Blue flames._  She can't imagine the terror. Doesn't  _want_  to either.

But a traitor… One of their own? Turning against them like this...leading to things like  _that_? It can't - it can't  _be._  She doesn't like the Northerners but she  _knows_  they are the most dedicated to this war to preserve their homeland.

And a Southerner wouldn't do this. Just...wouldn't.  _But there was a traitor?_  A  _suspected_  one at least. Even though she struggles thinking about it, the idea has to have some merit if her father entertained it.

One crew gone. A traitor somewhere. A firebender whose life she  _must_  protect, no matter what. Nothing can ever be simple, can it?

"The Fire Nation is also moving further north. They're at Ba Sing Se's door but the King refuses our offers of help. The Northerners are nervous about the Fire but they say they don't to go where they aren't welcome. They won't waste men."

Katara studies him for a moment. "And what do you think?"

"Two Northern crews are unaccounted for. Pakku's and another Master's. I'm not for certain but… "

"The North doesn't want the Fire to get that close." She nods, understanding. Water works well when it's unexpected. "If the Fire Nation take Ba Sing Se, the war  _will_  be over. There's too many benders and refugees there - too many  _resources_  and - "

"But they  _don't want our help_ , 'Tara. Should we really intervene when they don't want us there?" Aang asks quietly. "Their walls have stood for a hundred years without our help."

"Aang, if they fall that's  _it._  Everything is over and this will all have been for nothing. "

"I'm still not sure." He sighs and shakes his head. "Ba Sing Se isn't helping either side for now. At least, not  _much_. And they don't want the North to interfere. You  _know_  how the Northerners can be. Just look at the South. They offered help and now...there practically isn't a Southern Tribe  _left._ "

" _Aang"_  She warns. "Those are my people you speak of."

"I know, but...Surely you know better than anyone else. The North's help  _always_  come with a price. Sometimes, that price is higher than can be paid; the price too costly. Ba Sing Se won't be excluded from that and I think they know. It's why they refuse."

"So, what? We just  _let_  the Fire take the city?"

"The only way they will take the city is if they  _let_  them. The Fire cannot match the Earth there."

"I don't know Aang. I think - I think that this might be worth the risk…" But she hears the uncertainty in her voice. Ba Sing Se - they  _had_  been able to stand alone and survive. The Fire hadn't breached their walls yet.

 _Everything_  must be difficult, it seems.

"The young man that saved my life is now probably going to have his taken," she whispers, so low that she thinks he doesn't hear her but he does. Aang looks up with wide blue eyes that have reddened and watered. "He's the Fire Prince - Zuko. An enemy, they say, but he's grown from that."

"He's your friend." Aang says. Or is it a question? The Avatar talks like he already  _knows_.

But she nods anyway. "He is. And I can't protect him like he did with me when I was on his ship. I can't return the favor. I can't...I don't think I can save him this time, Aang, even though I  _need_ to. I don't know how to explain it but I  _need him alive._ "

Aang cups her knee with his palm. Nods like he understands. "Do you believe what they said out there was true? That somehow, he brainwashed you - convinced you that he  _was_  more than an enemy in order to get to you?"

"No, I don't." She shakes her head fervently. "I mean, I know it may  _look_  like that but it  _wasn't._  Zuko - he didn't act that way towards me. He never tried to act friendly towards me, really. We just sort of...grew closer together, I guess. Naturally. Nothing was  _forced._ "

Big blue eyes question her.

"You would have to be there to understand, I guess… But I could tell when he lied to me, Aang. I could hear his heart quicken or falter or  _something_. But he never lied when we grew closer - not to me. Everything was  _real_  and it was more honest than anything I've ever known."

He looks a little skeptical, but then he takes in a breath and nods. "I believe you. I will help you try to save him if I can."

The waterbender's heart tugs and she puts a hand to his cheek. Softening, she smiles even though it keeps faltering at the corners because his heart is so  _pure_  and  _good_  and here he is… so naive.

The Avatar is a powerful ally. But  _Aang_ , the boy he is, can do little more than she can. That is not enough to save the firebender that she cares for.

"Thank you," she says, regardless of the fact that he can't do  _anything_  and it's wrong. Aang, a boy whose mere presence revitalized the war effort when it all seemed lost, can't  _do anything_.

He frowns and blinks down. "I know what you're thinking. I'm sorry. If only - "

"It's not your fault."  _It isn't_. But she can't help but feel a pang of frustration that he, someone more powerful and worth so much more than a mere warrior like herself, has as much influence as she. "It isn't."

"But it  _is._  All of this is. If I could just be the  _Avatar_  that I'm  _supposed_ to be, this war wouldn't have even  _happened_. Those men wouldn't have died, we could save the Prince,  _no one would have to die_ but they  _have_  and they  _are_  and it's  _all my fault._ "

He's crumbling again. Shaking on his knees but his voice is too raw and painful to cry and he seems more angry at himself than sad at the world and she tightens her hand that cups his cheek to keep him grounded because he's going to vanish if she doesn't.

"Aang,  _Aang_. Look at me," she forces his head back, eyes open and stares him down. " _None_  of this is your fault. Understand?  _None_  of it is. I know it's hard to understand that but it isn't. Continually beating yourself up over it isn't going to do either of us any good, okay? You've cried, you've mourned. It's time to move on."

Something in his eyes is torn and he looks like he may just fall apart again but he doesn't get the chance.

There's a knock. Hard, rapid. Then it opens and Aang rises from where he's kneeling on the floor, one hand quick to scrape at the tears underneath his cheeks.

Aang is gone. The Avatar has taken his place.

"The Council requests your presence," the Northern says to Katara.

 _Already_? That...hadn't taken long… This was bad.  _Very bad_. Or was it? Could it be - ?

The waterbender nods and gets up from the bed. She smooths her palms over her tribal tunic and steps around Aang. He follows her despite the protest from the Northerner, and she's quick to walk to Hahn's room.

Because despite the unease settling in her stomach, she wants to get this over with.  _Needs_  to figure out of Zuko's already slim chances had been reduced to none. If so… then… Well, she was going to have to find some way around that.  _Any_  way.

She'll risk everything she can to get him out.

"Doesn't look good, Sugar Queen," Toph chimes from a shadowed corner just in front of Hahn's door. The Northerner behind Aang sputters something but the earthbender ignores him. "Ha-"

"Yes, I'm sure Hahn has been feeding them reasons as to why Zuko should be taken out. He's made his position pretty clear." Katara tries to keep the bite out of her voice.

Toph snorts. " _Hahn_  isn't the one that's pushing that hard."

"What - ?"

"See for yourself." She inclines her head to the door. Katara just looks at her. But she swallows down something -  _who was Toph talking about?_ \- and reaches for the handle, pushing the door open and striding in with her two allies behind her. "Good luck, sweets. You're gonna' need it."

If Aang's presence causes surprise with the few others in the room, none of them show it.

Hahn, her dad, Sokka, Hama, Lu Ten, another firebender, and a Northerner she recognizes from earlier stand. Hard faces, hard eyes. Will she find friends here? Even with her father and brother here?

 _Is she fighting a losing battle_? Staying on a sinking ship and simply waiting to drown?

Does she stay silent or does she speak now?

Lu Ten catches her eyes and shakes his head like he knows what she's thinking - advising her for something. Aang stands tall beside her.

"You have one chance to speak in Zuko's favor," Hahn says slowly, drawing the words out as he fixes her with a stare. "Then we will decide where to go from here."

 _One chance_. Katara takes in a deep breath. Her palms twitch and her fingers tighten into fists to stop from shaking.

"Zuko isn't an enemy. I know I've repeated that over and over these past few days and you're probably tired of hearing it, but it's  _true_. The Fire Nation has abandoned him, just like they did Lu Ten and where would we be without he and his firebenders? Zuko's own ship committed mutiny against him, and I forced him to abandon it in hopes that I could make him a war prisoner.

"It took some time. Zuko and I almost killed each other on numerous occasions; we saved each other's lives just as many times though. He's a good man, and he shouldn't be treated as inferior simply because of the fire in his blood. I can't promise that he'll be a strong ally, but at least he won't join in the fight against us. And that's enough for me."

Katara breathes in. "The more time we spent together, the more fights we had, I came to realize that we both wanted the same thing: for this war to end. We just imagined different victors. Talking with him told me that neither side fights fair when it comes down to it, that winning, above all, has become the main goal. The Fire Nation has wronged us, yes, but have we become any better?"

All of the air sucks out of the room. She has crossed a line here. But she's said it.  _She's said it_. All that she has been thinking up until now is finally out in the open.

"And just what are we fighting for when we kill based on race? on abilities? on heritage? What's the point of all of... _this_  is we just kill like that?" Katara fires back. Behind her, Aang reaches forward and tugs on her robe - probably to urge her to stop talking but she can't.

She won't. They can't silence her again. She looks to Hama, to Hahn, to Lu Ten. Her brother and father. She swallows. "We're no better than Ozai if that's what we're fighting for. And that's a war that I cannot fight in. Not a war where the winner continues a genocide. There is  _nothing_  to be gained from that."

Sokka blinks at her. His cheeks grow pink and she can't even bring herself to look at her father. If there is disappoint there, she might be crushed. She isn't ready for that yet.

So she looks to Lu Ten across the room. And there's something in his eyes that makes her straighten her back because she knows somehow -  _somehow_  - she has gotten to  _him_ with that statement. There's so much approval in his eyes that it  _might_  be worrisome under different circumstances.

Katara has said  _exactly_  what he has wanted to this entire time. No, what they  _both_  wanted to.

Her brother is the first to speak. He tucks his chin down just slightly, looking somewhat confused now as if her words have just hit him. "What are you saying, exactly, Katara?"

The waterbender draws in a shaky breath.

"If you decide to kill the Fire Prince even though he poses absolutely  _no_  threat, then we become even more like the Fire Nation than before. Killing -  _discriminating_  - against him simply because of his race and blood is exactly what the Fire Lords have done these past hundred years. And I  _refuse_  to sacrifice my life for that. I won't die for a cause that no longer exists."

"You need to remember who the real enemy is." Hama says and something that looks like a warning -  _or anger_  - passes through her eyes. "We only want to do what is best for our fight. Do you not remember? The sacrifices of our people, Katara… I am ashamed that you have forgotten how hard we have worked to get to  _this moment_."

"I haven't forgotten, Master Hama," Katara fixes her former mentor -  _someone that she once thought loved her more than anything_  - with an icy stare. "But they didn't die just for us to replace Ozai's tyranny with our own. They didn't die for  _this._ "

Hama jerks her head away. Fumes. When she glares back at Katara, there is heat under her skin, in her eyes. Palpable. Furious.  _Scornful_.

"You know nothing of the things I have seen - that we have  _all seen_. Don't let this  _boy_  turn you against your own kind after just a month. If you do, then your mind is too simple to be of any use any longer."

Katara's jaw tightens. "I'm sure Ozai said the same thing about his son - the  _boy_  you all now hold hostage like a  _prisoner_  even though he has done no wrong except  _exist_  - just before burning one half of his face away and sending him on an endless journey that he was destined to fail."

Hakoda makes a move. "Katara - "

"Don't compare us to  _them_  - to  _any of them_. How dare you.  _How dare you!_ " The Northern warrior that she doesn't know spits. "Their fire  _burns_  while our water restores."

Lu Ten stiffens. "I hope that you're not categorizing all firebenders together, Northerner."

"And what if I am?" He sneers, looks to Hahn. "We should have  _never_  allowed ourselves to become allied with  _them_. Now look what's happened! A waterbender -  _fixated_  and  _obsessed_  with a firebender! She's coming in here speaking treason and comparing us to the fire  _filth_  and this is all  _their fault_."

" _Soldier_  - !" Hahn lifts a hand between the two benders that are now stepping closer together. Lu Ten's shoulders are up, face heated and red while the Northerner's ruddy cheeks make the fierceness in his blue eyes stand out even more.

"Wasn't satisfied enough with burning down the entire Southern Tribe, were you? Rounding up all of the Southern Benders just  _wasn't enough_ , was it? You just had to take the  _one_  sole bender and - "

"My fixation with the Fire Prince has  _nothing_  to do with Lu Ten or - "

" - should have known not to taint our ranks with the impurity of  _fire_. Just  _look_ where it's gotten us - "

"War - "

" - you  _barbarians_  couldn't even fight a real  _war_  until I came along. This wasn't even a  _concern_  until - "

" - just  _freeze them all_ \- "

"Soldiers - !"

" - the destruction of  _Fire_ \- "

" - the fickleness of  _Water_  - "

Hahn's hand is pushes against the chest of the Northern Warrior. Hakoda holds back a firebender by the shoulders while Lu Ten's arm is in Sokka's palm. Aang quakes beside her, too influenced by the surging emotions and shouts around them that leave everything in an incomprehensible mess and Katara can't - she can't  _focus_  and -

Hama is glaring at her with a force that sends a cold chill racing down Katara's spine. She can't look away. Can't  _blink_  or  _think_. And for the first time in a while, she feels  _cold._  Shivers, teeth chattering until Hama  _smirks_  and looks away.

But the cold doesn't leave. It just moves into her heart.

" - Fire brings only  _pain_  and destruction - "

That's what she used to believe, too. Before fire that saved her. Fire - it was just as deadly as water. It caused as much  _pain_  as it's opposite element. Katara knows this better than anyone. Why hadn't she realized that before?

Fire may have burned down her cities but it was Water that washed away her soul.  _Water_  that had been used to manipulate the bodies and minds of soldiers.  _Her_  - water.  _Her water_  had done that. Her precious element. Her bending.

 _This wasn't how it was supposed to be._  Their elements shouldn't be used to  _destoy_  no matter the medium. It shouldn't divide the nations like it was.  _It was supposed to unite._

The Northerner's breath is creating ice in the air and around his lips. Lu Ten exhales steam.

And it is her cousin's voice that she hears above the shouts that makes her break. "Should just cut  _all_  ties and  _all_  of your necks - "

Katara huffs, palms twitching at her sides and she steps forward, locking the man with an icy glare. "Would you  _listen_  to yourself? To what you're  _saying_? With so few allies left, you would go and shout such awful things about the ones who have given our rebellion - the  _world's_  rebellion - so much?  _What is wrong with you_? Are you so  _blind?_ "

Everyone has stopped now, the silence thick in the air and caught between the heat of the firebenders' rage and the cold of the waterbenders' fury. Everything feels tight, taut, like one casual word could break everything that holds them altogether in a ridiculously easy fashion.

Five years of uneasy, but beneficial alliances, all gone with one breath if she isn't careful.

"This Council meeting is about the Fire Prince," Hakoda pushes firmly, stepping forward to shield them all from Katara. She quivers now that she's hidden. A gentle touch that can only belong to a monk brushes her shoulders.

_What has she done?_

She should have left. Left a long time ago. They won't save Zuko, no matter what she says or how hard she pleads. And they won't forgive her for her comments now.

Not that she wants them to.

Was this how Zuko felt? Did his stomach drop through the soles of his feet and into the ground, weighing him down to the floor. Did he feel like he was nothing?  _Worth_  nothing now?

And yet… if this was the way things are now, she wants no part in it. It's just like she said.  _This isn't the war she wants to give her life for._  Not anymore.

She won't fight for this cause that has twisted into a mockery of what her leaders claimed to rally behind.

"The time for discussing alliances should be saved for another time. Neither party in this can afford to be separated from the other at this time. With Sangok's ship gone and a traitor in our midst…" Hakoda shakes his head. "This division will not help us. Put aside your prejudices as you have managed to do for the past few years so that we can come to some agreement about the  _Prince_."

"There  _shouldn't_  be a discussion. We must do what we need." Hama's voice is stern, commanding. She holds little respect in the Northerner's eyes but they turn to look at her anyway. " _Kill_  the Prince before he has the chance to corrupt the minds of any more of our warriors."

Lu Ten shakes his head. "The Prince could prove useful. Save him, for now. He could be a bargaining chip. Or, perhaps we could sway him to our side after some time. He's still young and open to gentle manipulation.  _Pliable_. Especially given that he counts Master Katara as a friend. This could be used to our advantage. Killing him would be a waste."'

 _Oh, Lu Ten_. Hadn't he seen that they had already lost?

Her brother looks past Hakoda to Katara. And she sees his answer before he even opens his lips.

"The Prince is old enough to have experienced the propaganda of the Fire Nation. Even if he were to act like he's on our side, he'll turn at any moment. He could signal, somehow, and bring an attack. It's not worth the risk. We can't afford to lose any more men."

 _She's so heavy_. So, so heavy.

Katara swallows down a knot.

" _Kill him_ ," says the Northern Warrior. "He's no use to us and the men could use the spectacle and morale boost."

Hakoda is a solid wall in front of her. She shifts, stepping around him and into the light. But she doesn't glare any of them down. Because once upon a time,  _she_  would have said the same. And it's a shame.

Things would have been so much easier then. Now, she's grabbed onto a rope to help hold herself up only to have it form a noose around her neck.

"I agree with my son. The Prince is too old - too exposed - to the Fire Nation to be able to think any differently. It is a false hope, Lu Ten. And he has killed many of our brothers and cousins. He must be held accountable for those deaths."

Hakoda draws in a breath, his head hangs lower. His heart pounds slowly in his chest and Katara's eyes brim with tears.

 _She's caused this_. They've lost her - her brother and father, they've lost her. And it's all her fault.

But they're letting her go. Now, after just reuniting, she will be gone again. Possibly never to come back. Because she  _will not stand_ for this; and the Northerners? They won't forget the words that she's spoken just now.

Aang is trembling behind her. And  _she_  reaches a hand out this time to brush against his waist, drawing in his fresh autumn scent to sharpen her focus. When she looks up, Sangok is studying her.  _Carefully_. He knows just like the rest do.

 _There is no going back_. The lines, they've been drawn.

"Execute the Prince. His war crimes cannot be forgotten." Her former Captain - best friend,  _lover_  - says and his voice is so cold that it almost shocks her. But she's just so numb. So,  _so_ numb.

That's it. All but one vote has been cast against the Prince and she knows what Hahn -

"The Prince could have been of use." She pauses and turns slowly to look at Hahn. "After some time, he could have proven to be an ally. His fresh knowledge and insight, too, could have been extremely valuable. But the Council has decided. He shall be executed tomorrow."

Katara wheels back, collides with Aang and he grips her arms tightly as her eyes slam shut.  _That's it._  She'll - she'll have to figure out some way to get the Prince off the ship before then -

 _Wait._  The waterbender pauses, stiffens in the airbender's arms and reaches out again. Surely…  _what was… ?_

There's something. And there it is again. A change.  _A shift_.

_Another ship._

-/-

"The Blue Fire Lady must have followed us." Aang's eyes are frantic but his voice is strong. Fragile, he is; but even he understands that there is a time and place to be made of glass. He has learned.

Just after she had felt the shift of the waters the others felt it too. By the time she managed to figure out what was  _really happening_ , they were all rushing out of the room and racing to see if their scouts could pick out the flags that flew with their guest.

Katara sprints onto the deck where dozens of other warriors are scrambling. Some waterbenders are pulling at the sea, speeding their boat to go faster and faster against the waves as it splashes against the sides and onto the wood. Here, she can see the metal ship - it's far, but the black smoke staining the sky tells that it won't be for long.

The airbender at her side, she spins away from the bow to see her father and brother directing orders to the left. Their ship, smaller, lighter is ahead of Hahn's. But they stayed  _here_. Behind. Where they will certainly be caught by the ship with the woman who bends Blue Fire.

Her palms twitch.  _A fight_. One is coming to them and it is coming  _fast_.

"It's Zuko's sister." Lu Ten says and she turns to face him, confusion clouding her face for a moment before she registers just  _what_  he said. "Azula is the Blue Fire bender. I know it."

She thinks Zuko has mentioned her before. A warning.  _She was born lucky._  Ozai's favorite.

Katara looks back at the black cloud. It's nearing. There isn't much time.

 _Everyone is distracted._  Now is the time…

Her hand snaps out to grab onto Lu Ten's sleeve. "We have to get him out of here now.  _It's our only chance._ "

The firebender pauses, face contorting into confusion for a moment before he gets himself under control. "Katara, you can't - "

"It's the only chance we have. I won't let him die and neither will you. I can slip him off of this ship without anyone knowing.  _I'm sure of it_."

"But your family - your father and brother - they'll - "

"I've already lost them, Lu Ten, just as they've lost me." She sucks in a breath, looking over her shoulder at the only blood she has left in this world. "The Northerners will hate me now more than ever and I  _won't fight_  for them any more."

The firebender looks up, possibly at the Avatar, and she yanks on his sleeve again. "Lu Ten,  _please._  I - I don't know where to go once we get off this ship. I - "

He grips her arms and yanks her into the shadows, up against a wall where they are roughly out of sight. "I need to get some things for you out of my room. You'll need supplies. Meet me at the top of the steps  _as soon as_ you get him out of there."

She nods frantically, teeth clapping together and he drops her back down to the ground and leaves as she takes in a breath to get herself back to sanity. Her head hurts - everything is  _swimming_. But her fingers are twitching and her palms itch and her heart is pounding so hard in her chest that it aches.

"Katara, what - " Aang steps forward after glancing over his shoulder at the chaos that breaks on the deck like water on rocks.

"I'm getting Zuko off this ship. He's not dying - not here. Not like this."

The Avatar with the soft heart and the wide eyes straightens, nods. "I'll help you as best I can."

"And I'm going with you," Toph slides up beside them with a hand braced against the wall. "You're crazy if you think I'd stay on this damned ship with these people any longer."

Katara  _would_  warn her - this is dangerous. They'll be fugitives. The Northerners might be angered enough to start hunting after them like animals. It's a huge risk, and they may just wind up dead anyway with no allies to turn to.

But there's no use. Because the blind earthbender has probably already figured all that out and decided to cast her lot with them anyway.

So she nods and grabs onto Toph's wrist and starts pulling her to the arch that leads to the inside of the ship. They run down the hall to the little staircase and she whirls around to Aang. "Stay here. When the blue ship gets near enough that they're starting to fight, signal us with your Air."

Then she leaps down the steps with Toph dragging behind her. Leaps into the dark, right into the belly of the ship.

Leaps right past yet another point of no return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for your patience and continued support. I appreciate it so much!
> 
> I would also like to say that I am doing fanfiction recs for AtLa, LoK, & SnK (Attack on Titan.) I not only rec my own, but I post recs that others send in. If you would like to know more about that, just check out my tumblr nad you'll see all of the info that you'll need. I would greatly appreciate your recs! :)


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was so difficult to write. I think I scrapped a whole chapter's worth of content and re-wrote it multiple times. So, i am publishing it as-is. If you note any mistakes, please don't hesitate to point them out. I can't guarantee you that I'll fix them unless they're incredibly bothersome though. :/ So sorry!

Katara hits the ground upright. But before she can even blink, she surges forward with her fingers clawing into the air - sucking it dry until she has water wrapped around her wrists like bracelets.

The guard that stands in front of Zuko's door has just enough to time to let out a startled  _yelp_  before she slings the water into icy bullets, pushing against them with enough force to make the man stumble back. She pulls the water back, spins on her heel, and slices at the air just above his neck.

He isn't a bender. His hands shake as they clutch his spear.

" _Move_ ," she orders. Not surprisingly, he does, sliding back with wide eyes as she darts down the hall again. She slices her ice between the two slabs of wood and cuts the lock in two before she kicks the door open and  _there he is_.

The waterbender lets herself look at him for a  _moment_ , eyes checking for fresh bruises or wounds but there are none. But he looks untouched. Safe.  _Alive._

"Katara," he breathes out, standing and moving as close as he can before the chains stop him. Katara blinks, remembers just  _why_  she is here. The water around her fingers cuts through his chains just as easily, and he looks down in shock as his arms fall straight down, no longer held behind him with the taunt manacles.

"There isn't much time," she explains and closes the gap between them. The little bit of water she has is soaked into her tunic while her fingers dance across his hand. The leather is pulled free, tossed behind her. " _Zuko_  - "

Before she can get out the words -  _your sister is here, they are going to kill you, your cousin is waiting for us,_ let's be  _free_  - the Fire Prince crushes her against his chest and she's forgotten how to breathe.

Hot hands slide against her waist, touching her back and she can feel the burn through her clothes. He keeps moving his hands - touching,  _feeling_ , like her cold is a relief against his fire. They're everywhere - around her hips, up her arms, across her shoulders, and then they're in her hair.

He's so warm and  _she's_  so warm and really they shouldn't be this  _warm_  together but he feels so good, so much  _better_  than she remembered of Sangok's cold and -  _no._  Stop. She couldn't go there. Not now, certainly not  _here_  with firebenders on their trail and waterbenders out for blood.

Zuko's hands burn against her cheek as he tilts her face up and she squeezes her eyes closed tight. It's like she's standing before him for the first time and they  _weren't_  enemies and instead were…

Katara cuts the thought off like she cut through his chains and lets the firebender  _feel_  her before she grabs his arms and pushes him away. But she still holds onto him and his hands are still cupped at the curve between her ribs and her waist.

She shivers. Odd, because he's so  _warm_.

"We don't have that much time," she presses and tightens her hands around his arms for emphasis. "We have to leave -  _now_."

Katara pulls herself away from him and drags him to the door. The guard is gone when they get into the hall, but she doesn't even think on that as she yanks the firebender towards the stairs. And then they're up, running and Toph is waiting for them at the top.

"Damn, firebender. You sound a bit lighter than you did before. Do you look as rough as I imagine?"

Zuko sputters to a stop, Katara yanked back because he's a lot heavier than she is. " _Is she -_?"

"Yes. She's with  _us_." She looks around and pushes him into the shadows so that no one running around the deck will happen to look their way and spot the red robes they've put him in. "And so is Lu Ten. Listen, the ship - it's being attacked by the Fire Nation. Now is our chance to get away and we have to because - "

"Katara, you can't leave your family. They're here, aren't they? Hahn said they would be soon - "

"It's not about  _them_. This is about  _me._  I've made my choice and I can't go back on it. They'll - They'll  _understand_  one day if they don't now."

"I won't - "

"I can make my own decisions,  _thank you_ ," she spits out. "I have had other people make them for me my  _entire life_  and now I just want to do what I think is best for  _me_. Okay? Just...let  _me_  decide right now. I haven't taken away your decision and I don't want you to take this one away from  _me_."

He's still unsure. Katara can see it in the tightness of his eyes but he nods anyway.

 _And this is why she chose this._  Because despite his protests against her leaving her brother and father, he isn't going to try to stop her. His silence - it means so much. More than she could ever describe.

Katara wants to wrap her icy arms around his warmth again and feel his heart beat but she doesn't. She turns on her heel. Toph smirks, one corner of the earthbender's lips lifting as her arms cross over her broad chest.

Zuko's heat radiates off his chest and brushes against her back even though they're not even  _touching_  and his heart races, blending in with the tempo of those outside the arch on the deck.

_Where was Lu Ten?_

A Northern Warrior rushes past them and doesn't even glance in the shadows where Katara and Zuko are. Doesn't spare a glance for the earthbender that is leaned against the stair railing. But Katara still catches a whiff of his heartbeat - erratic, pounding like the drums they use to dance for the Spirits during celebrations.

There's a flash of red and then there's Zuko's cousin. He carries their black pack from the trip through the forest, and it looks mostly untouched but a bit heavier than she remembers. He's expressionless as he takes it and pushes it into her chest and she snaps her hands up to catch it.

"There's a map that has few safehouses marked - allies of mine that aren't aligned with either war effort.  _Don't_  lose this. I took the liberty of putting in a few coins. As for food and anything else - you're on your own."

A knot tightens in her throat as she nods. "Thank you. I - I appreciate it."

Lu Ten nods and glances up and over her shoulder at his cousin. "You should stop at the house in Yunchen Valley first. I will be there one week from today to bring you news of how this battle went. If I don't survive...expect an ally, at least."

" _Why_? Why are you letting us go," Zuko asks. There isn't any accusation his voice and Katara can't turn from Lu Ten as he drops his hands from the pack and stands taller. "You're risking a lot for this."

"Because if you don't get off this boat, Azula will kill you. And if she doesn't, then the Water Tribe  _will_. Your fate has already been decided."

The bender behind her shakes a  _fraction_. Katara imagines him reaching out to grip the wall for support. "Azula…? She's...she's  _here_?"

Lu Ten nods. Katara sucks in a breath. She didn't tell him that his sister was coming - that her blue fire was going to be the one that could burn their sails. The one that she was secretly grateful for for providing this opportunity for her to get Zuko off this ship and out of icy clutches.

"She's the one attacking the ship?"

His cousin nods again.

"Katara… We can't leave. Not now. She'll burn them with a smile on her face."

"Zuko, now is our  _only_  chance to get you to safety - "

"You would really risk everyone's lives to get me off the ship?" He narrows his eyes. "You would leave your brother, father -  _family_ \- to  _her_?"

Katara's lower lip is caught between her teeth. No - they'll be  _fine._  Her brother and father, they're  _warriors_. The strongest men from their clan. The strongest men she  _knows_. They'll survive. They've met her before and lasted.

His hand is heavy on her shoulder and she can't bring herself to look away. "Azula  _will_  burn them, Katara. She's powerful."

"Aang said she could summon up enough fire to burn the ship down even  _with_  most waterbenders trying to break through it. All it took was a bit of distraction from her firebenders and everything was gone. Torched." Toph says behind her.

"We  _can't_  let them face her alone."

"Why?" She asks, glaring up at him as she tilts her chin up. "Why? These people wanted to  _murder_  you just because you're a firebender - because of  _who you are_. The same type of genocide that killed  _my people_  and Aang's. Why would you risk your life for them?"

"Because if I didn't you would never be able to sleep again. If you leave these people behind to die, you  _won't_  forgive yourself.  _I won't let that happen_. Not for me. You may be willing to pay that price now, but trust me...you  _will_  regret it if you don't help them fight now."

The waterbender squeezes her eyes shut.

Outside the arches in the sun, dozens of heartbeats race in a frenzied panic and she can't...she can't  _focus_  because the beats are so loud and it feels like they're all  _screaming_  at her -  _begging_  her to reach out and let her fingertips slip across the warm slickness of blood like she used to when they were attacked.

They will burn in blue fire if she doesn't help them - if  _they_  don't help them. Her strength - she can do wonders and she knows it. Her father, her brother, her former lover, her  _kin_. They hate her and she's said awful things but can she really leave them here to  _burn?_

The woman in her wants to take Zuko away from this ship that will soon reek of charred death and the sharpness of ice. He has saved her life before by walking into the face of Cold without a second thought. She wants to do the same for him.

The warrior in her wants to relish in the feel of water slipping through her fingers. The call of her element is too strong to ignore. It's in her veins, pulling her,  _tugging_ her to the sea and she wants to drown out the fire that threatens her, threatens them  _all._

She opens her eyes. The answer is there and she doesn't even speak as she turns her back to him, tightens the straps around the knapsack and runs to the light.

There is water in her hands and tight around her hips as soon as she steps onto the deck. Just in time, too, because a fireball is heading right her way and she has  _barely_  enough time to swipe it down when she twists, blocking and suffocating the fire with the fluid around her fists.

She lands. Her hands shoot forward and the water cupped there brims with ice as she shoots it straight at another fireball that almost lands close by a Northerner.

Smoke, ash. The air smells like the violence that is bubbling at the surface of heated water - it sounds like a hundred heartbeats pounding in a cacophony that before tormented her. Now if fuels her as much as her own element does.

Katara tugs water from the ocean towards her in a smooth arc. A scowl on her lips, she searches the Fire Nation ship that is  _so close_  to this that battle will break any second. The fighting is at a distance for the moment, and the Northern Water Tribe flag atop the mast is aflame - a beacon not of their own - before Sangok douses it.

She senses Zuko's warmth against her back as he draws up behind her. Northerners fly across the ship, too caught up in the coming battle to worry about the firebender that  _should_  be locked down below.

But Sokka notices. She meets his glance from across the deck and he does a double-take before wincing and running across the wood towards her.

" _What are you doing_?!" He half-hisses, half-yells, eyes glaring at both her and the Prince behind her.

"He can help."

"He's a - "

" _Firebender_  just like Lu Ten's men. He can help, Sokka. Trust me on this."

Her brother shakes his head, beads clacking against each other and the grip he has around his boomerang tightens. "You're already in so much trouble, Katara, this isn't - "

"I don't care. They can't do anything else to me. Sokka,  _please_." She swallows, places an arm on his and puts everything she has into this. "If he doesn't fight then neither do I."

"Neither do  _I_." Toph seconds. "Sparky here can bend. I've seen it."

Aang steps up beside Katara. "And neither do I. This is the world's fight, Sokka. Let all of the world participate."

Sokka grimaces. " _Fine_  - if only to stop all of this...melodramatic shit, then  _fine._ " He shoots a glare to Zuko but it wavers. He sighs. "But cover up his scar somehow. A hood -  _something_. Maybe they'll mistake him for one of Lu Ten's."

Katara would smile and squeeze his arm in thanks; but there's a loud crash of a wave against the side of the Firebender's ship that tears her attention away and reminds her they're at the start of a  _battle_  and now is not the time for such things.

So she turns to Aang first. "Go find Lu Ten and get his cloak. He won't need it but Zuko does." The Avatar nods, grey eyes solemn and with a deep tinge of pain in them and she  _really_  wants to wrap her arms around him again like she did earlier this morning but she can't.

He turns away from her and sidesteps around a few Northerners to disappear.

"What's the plan?" Katara turns back to her brother. " _Is_  there one?"

Sokka risks a glance over his shoulder. The ship nears - her palms itch. The end of her braid thumps against her back when Aang bends himself up and over the Northerners to toss Lu Ten's black cloak to Zuko.

"Just...defend. That's all we can ask for right now. The last battle with them didn't last long at all. A few waterbenders might try to tip the ship - so if you can, either help or defend them. Just  _do something_  and beg the Spirits that we make it out of here alive."

-/-

Katara has experienced battles before. She's a waterbender - a fairly powerful one at that. And despite the amount of benders from the Northern tribe, they're still in short supply in comparison to the firebenders.

The North's prejudices don't keep her from the frontlines. She may have been exiled to Sangok's defensive ship that rarely saw much action before Zhao's attack, but that didn't mean that she wasn't exposed to messy, chaotic bending fights and the urgency of rapidly beating hearts.

But this...something in the air was strange. As she sweeps aside fire bullet after fire bullet and dances around flame darts from the Fire ship in front of her, she can't help but look over her shoulder from time to time.

The air  _tastes_  different. The water…it isn't the same as it was before.

At her side, Aang funnels his air around her icy shoots to push them faster to the opposite side. He does it all with a mask of indifference. A coldness that he's learned from the Northerners. He eyes are tight in the corners and his lips are pulled into a steady frown, but he does it all because it  _must_  be done.

Zuko, with the hood pulled over to hide his face from the Northerners around him, blocks red fire walls with his own, skilfully pushing back attack after attack. He's at her other side. A solid brick and a warm presence that she can feel even as she moves to send out her icy welcomes to the Fire.

But he doesn't aim to kill. Only maim. She watches when she can - out of the corner of her eye, she sees as he manipulates his element to char, but never to burn.

He does it all with a pained grimace. She remembers what he said the last time he burned her - not the time he saved her life, but the time when she goaded him into an attack -  _I don't like burning people_ ; her eyes glance over at his scar before she twists away to knock down a fireball and she sends an icy dagger into the bender's heart.

Toph is on Aang's other side. She manages to pull up sea rocks from deep beneath the ocean. Her fists push and pull and toss and throw them - heavy, solid hits that put dents into the metal. She doesn't aim for people or benders, but at the ship itself as Sokka instructed.

If she can help bring down the ship, she can prove her worth to the Northerners.

Katara hasn't caught a glance of blue fire  _or_  the firebender who wields it. Zuko hasn't choked out her name yet, either. Perhaps they were wrong - maybe this  _wasn't_  her ship.

Perhaps the supposed traitor directed a different commander to them. But every now and then, through the thick smoke that's settling around the Fire ship, she catches the sight of something painted blue along the ship. A marking of some sort. Blue fire.

The waterbender twists out of the way of a fireball and Aang manipulates it around until it slingshots straight back to the ship.

A broken scream pierces the air. Frantic heartbeats that are barely noticeable in the chaos that she hears and  _feels_  around her. A rumble, and then a bright burst of flames and fire from the ship and there's more smoke before.

Katara snaps an extra long waterwhip in front of her but she doesn't even know if she's hitting anyone anymore.  _Does she even care?_

She's been in battles before, but somehow she's forgotten how they force her to just  _act_  rather than think out of necessity. Katara barely registers what's going on around her until she  _makes_  herself do it.

Her body slides to the left, shoulder bumping against the firebender's, and she doesn't even know  _how_  because she didn't even register the flaming arc heading  _straight at her_  until it slide by her face in a burst of heat that makes her flinch.

Aang immediately douses it. She forces herself forward, counter-attacking someone -  _somewhere_  - in the choking smoke with an icy arc of her own.

 _Is she even killing anyone?_  Are her aims making their targets?  _Is she even killing anyone_?

_Does she want to kill them?_

Katara sucks in a breath, leaping out of the way so that Zuko can swipe a flaming kick out across the channel of sea between the two ships -  _Sokka is there in her sight now_ , and he barks out orders that she can't hear to his crew and -

\- he narrowly misses a scorching arrow.

And  _yes_. She wants to kill them.

If they're going to try to burn down her ship, she has no choice. Consequences and second-thoughts later be damned. Right now she has no choice  _but_  to fight or else everything will crumble.

Katara may not want to live with the Northerners - and she may have imagined icy deaths for all of them, but those were  _icy_  deaths. Not deaths by fire. And when it comes down to it, she will pick ice over fire any day as long as it doesn't harm Zuko.

 _Why is she so protective over him?_ No -  _no_  - now isn't the time to even  _think_  about something like that. Surviving - living.  _That's_  what she needs to focus on.

 _"Make a wave! Make a wave!"_  Someone shouts and benders immediately start pulling on the water. Katara glances at the firebenders just before her own grip starts pulling on her element underneath her.

 _If only they had attacked at night._  Firebenders were far stronger than waterbenders during the day - their sun giving them strength as their moon slept.

" _Push_! _"_

Katara shifts her stance into a stronger one and dips her arms down and out in a curve with as much strength behind it as she can - _a bead of sweat slicks down her nose, her muscles and arms are past the point of ache_ \- and the conjoined wave rises towards the firebender's ship and -

\- it's immediatley halted by an echoing stream of fire that dissolves their wave into a huge cloud of steam.

 _She wants to kill them._ Every. Last. Firebender on that ship.

Her heart seems to race faster - beats harder in her chest. She glares at the Fire ship with a scowl gracing her lips and ice coating her fingertips.

Sokka ordered them to keep as much distance between the Fire ship and their's. It was the only way they could make it out alive, he said. Hakoda seemed to believe that if they tired out the firebenders somehow, they would flee.

 _But it's not working_. She has sweat on her brow and half of the sleeve of her right arm has been burned off. She can't even  _remember_  the past few minutes -  _or hours? how long have they even been fighting?_  - and she's sure that if she wasn't so pumped with adrenaline and rage, she'd pass out on the ship right then and there.

"Katara - ?" Zuko seems to notice her pause but he's forced to turn back and block an attack.

 _It's not working._  Hakoda and Sokka's plan, it's  _not_. They can't win by pushing the Fire Nation back - not with their limited waterbenders and the firebenders' heat.

Aang's burst of wind is enough to throttle her back into attention and she whips around, icy fingers spread and heart hammering and mind  _working_  because  _surely_  there's another way to get this battle ending sooner rather than later and -

There's a mangled scream. A snap. More screams.

She pivots on her heel and looks up just in time to see the ship's mast waver - high above her head, soaring over the deck with the flag burned away and the fire climbing down the wood desperately. Unlike the rest of the deck and wood of the ship, the mast isn't coated in fireproof sealant.

Aang curses under his breath before he shoots himself up into the sky with his air, flying towards the mast that's starting to break from pressure and heat in the middle.

Another huge fireball hits the weak point and Katara throws her icy hands over her head as ash and fire rains from the sky - some of it gets in her hair, on her skin, on her sleeves and flesh and it burns but she forces the pain down deep because -

-  _her heart is still pounding in her chest, something is pulling on her blood_ \- Hama?  _\- no, Hama wouldn't do_ this _\- why_  would she bloodbend her here?  _now?_

But Katara knows what bloodbending feels like. And that unmistakable piercing sensation along every single point of her skin as her heart beats - amplified as it races ahead in panic when she realizes what's  _happening_  - and her whole body seizes up and she can't  _move_ , can't  _blink_ , can't do anything but drop her mouth in  _horror_.

More fire rains down around her like water.

But the burns against her skin let her know that it  _isn't_  water. Water doesn't burn like this.

 _The blood in her veins -_ water _\- begs to differ_.

"Katara!" She hears - broken, a horrible scream over the sounds of racing heartbeats and her own blood rushing through her body sluggishly, fighting against the icy grip that Hama has on her, but she  _hears_  and her body isn't under her control when she lifts her head to see her father waving her over.

The grip vanishes. Katara crumbles onto the floor, landing on her knees with a hiss but there's sweet relief, too. She shakes. Quivers, on the floor with her hands forming tight fists.

_Surely there was another way to get her attention in this storm._

She hears the last half of her name being called again. Too-hot hands grip her by the forearms and she's hauled up. Her legs shake but she manages to stand, trying to shove off the effects of being bloodbent.

Zuko's eyes are concerned. His hands move from her arms to cup her face - her cheeks - tugging them up in a touch that's too rough to be considered gentle but she can't bring herself to pick up her arms and push them away.

A fire dart whizzes by. Zuko doesn't even notice.

"Are you alright?" He asks, which is a stupid question to ask. They're in the middle of a _battle_. Her hair is singed, her arms covered in heated welts, and she's come so close to fire it's not even  _funny_. But he's just as battered. Even with the cloak covering and protecting his body and head, his hands and wrists are still red and angry from fire.

She reaches up to touch her fingertips against the ones that cup her cheeks. "Yeah -  _watch_  - !"

Her warning about an incoming fireball is taken immediately and he drops his grip -  _warmth is gone_ \- and he kicks it down. When he turns back, she's already slid away.

She slips through the running bodies like water does through her fingers. Fire still rains down - Aang is still in the air holding the mast up with his Air.

"We're losing," Hakoda's voice is tight. He isn't her dad. Not here, not now. He's a Captain, responsible for the lives on this ship and she ignores the unsettling feeling rising in her stomach when she finally gets close enough to  _hear_  and  _see_  him. He has burn marks across his cheeks and his arms.

"There's only one weapon left." Hahn says, glancing up at Aang still hovering over them, keeping the ship together.

Sokka grimaces. "You  _know_  he can't access the Avatar state anymore. Sending him over alone like that will  _kill him_. Think of something else."

"Like  _what?_ "

"I don't  _fucking know_. But anything.  _Anything_." Her brother throws his hands up. "That's  _not_  an option."

Hahn shakes his head. "They're  _killing us._  Even if Aang can't get a fucking grip on himself, at least  _seeing_  him would do something to them!"

"It didn't work on the way here - and what? You don't think we tried that?"

"I wouldn't know seeing as how all you and your Southerners coddle him like you do! He's the  _Avatar_  - this is what he's  _supposed_ to do!"

"Aang is not a weapon!" Katara narrows her stinging eyes at the Northern captain.

" _He's the Avatar_."

"He can't do it - sending him over there would kill him and then  _where_  would we be?"

"It's at least worth a shot. If he isn't willing to risk his life like the rest of us, then he shouldn't even  _be_ here!"

" _Don't talk about him like that!"_

"This is  _my ship_ , dammit!  _My_ men!" Hahn glares at her but she draws herself up. Like with Zuko, she won't cower here. "He could die  _now_. Why can't we take the chance to send him over there? At least he could save our lives."

"Because I won't let you send him out there alone!" Katara fires back, heated as much as the fire that's ravaging everything around her.

"It's  _not_  happening," Sokka says forcefully. Hahn glares from Katara to her brother, then to Hakoda who nods in agreement with his children.

"Then we will  _all_  die." His teeth are clenched tight. "Unless anyone can think of another plan to get us out of this inferno."

"Katara and I could bloodbend the captains. Force them down." Hama offers, her eyes twinkling. Did Katara's ever do that when she spoke of... _bloodbending_?

The thought - the  _image_  - makes her spine shiver.

"That may be our only option left." Her father says.

"Are you - ?" Hahn is broken off by dodging a fire arrow. His frown is tight -  _he's never liked bloodbending much, has he?_  - " _Fine._  Send a few benders with you for defense."

"The ship is the Blue Fire lady's.  _Kill_  her. She's too dangerous to keep in custody." Hakoda instructs and Hama nods.

Katara's stomach twists. It's been doing that an awful lot lately.

"Once you kill the Captains, wipe out as many others as you can with just bending. If you don't think you can survive,  _get off the ship_. Don't risk your lives more than necessary. We  _need_  bloodbending for interrogations after."

 _And there it is._  Her stomach drops to the bottom of the ocean and she  _swears_  she's swimming. Then, she realizes.

They're not soldiers. Her, Zuko, Aang -  _everyone on this ship_. Soldiers would hint that they're actually people - that their humanity, spirits, ideas and thoughts  _mean_ s something. But it isn't and never was. Like always, things are assumed and orders given with no thought whatsoever.

Hahn wanted Aang to risk his life by confronting the firebenders head-on with no protection whatsoever. Even knowing that Aang isn't able to access the Avatar state - that he hasn't since he saw how each and every one of the Air Temples were destroyed and how his people were burned alive.

Hama and her father -  _her own father_ \- want to use her bloodbending to torture answers out of prisoners. She has before, and it's haunted her ever since she saw how it affected Zuko afterwards. Katara hadn't seen it before, had never given it any  _thought_. But now she...she doesn't want anything to do with that power.

But no one is asking how she feels about it. They're not questioning whether she's okay with it or not. They're just assuming, like they always have. Like they always  _will._

Because she's not a soldier. She's nothing more than a weapon.  _They're_   _all_ nothing more than weapons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you very much for the kudos and wonderful comments! I'm sorry that I didn't respond especially considering I gave a delayed update. But, as pathetic as this sounds, I do have a reason (kind of) : the past two weeks have been absolutely awful and I had no desire to write. Things are soothing out here, so hopefully the next update won't be so delayed.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was both difficult and easy to write. Certain parts were always meant to happen while others were surprises to even me. Once again, I apologize for any confusion. I am writing this with almost no planning and on a whim. Maybe one day I'll be good enough to start a story with a clear focus and idea in mind but this is not that day. It wasn't as long as intended, but it ended where I was comfortable.
> 
> Some characters do get lost within this madness, so I will also apologize for that. This story does strictly follow Katara and this chapter in particular is really about her consciousness through this. The limitation does make her a somewhat unreliable narrator and very narrow-minded. Some of you may think parts of this chapter could have been summed together, or is pointless entirely, but considering this story is basically me doing a character study-type thing, I think this is very, very important.
> 
> I also apologize for this whole chapter. Shit goes down and it was one of the most terrifying writing experiences of my life.

_They are all nothing more than weapons._

This war isn't even about humanity any more. And Katara has played a part in destroying what was - what should  _still_  - be the core.

What was all of this for? Why did she - why did  _any_  - of them have to stand here and die, listen to their kin die, put up with  _everything_.

She's dedicated her whole life to a lost cause. She's sold her soul, sold her  _spirit_  for this and there isn't any reward that's waiting for her at the end - if this even ends because now she's not so sure if it ever will.  _She has given everything._

Katara is thrown backwards and she collides against her brother. Sangok deflects a fire ball aimed directly at where she just stood, disintegrating it with his flowing arms and tight arcs. Sokka catches her and holds her securely against his chest as her former captain -  _and lover_  - spins around to glare at her with a hard mask that she has only ever seen when he was faced with his enemies.

" _Pay attention_ ," he scolds harshly. "We can't afford to lose a bloodbender."

It wasn't:  _we can't afford to lose_ you _, I can't afford to lose you_. It was:  _we can't afford to lose a bloodbender._

She shakes against Sokka's chest. He tightens his arms around her but says nothing. Sokka probably thinks her frightened when all she feels is rage, anger and loss.

Has this all she's ever been? A bender -  _waterbender_  - bloodbender. Not warrior. Not soldier. Not Katara -  _never_  Katara.

Her brother grips her arms and sets her back upright, and that's when it happens. She blinks and sees it all for what it truly is for what feels like the first time. The battle triumphs around her but it seems like everything is moving in slow motion; like her eyes have been opened after being closed for so long.

Everything is brilliant, bright. A colorful mass of chaos and all she can hear is one thunderous heartbeat in her ears and it's not even her own - it feels as if it's the earth's. The world's. Nature, spirit, calling to them all but she is the only one who can hear it.

Blue and orange - fire and water - that's what the world -  _her world_  - has become. It's what it always will be if something doesn't change - two elements clashing again and again. Clashing and destroying each other - leaving nothing behind but steam that sears and drowns everyone else.

The Fire Nation wasn't destroying the world on it's own. Fire wasn't burning everything to the ground. It had help - her water. Water and Fire, red and blue - destroying everything around them, drowning and blazing it all.

 _Her element_. Her hands.

She's -  _they're all_ \- destroying the world, and for what? They think they're getting something more, something  _better_ , a world of peace and happiness and balance but she  _knows_. Oh, she  _knows_ now what they will really get no matter who comes out the victor.

_She's going to be sick - she's going to throw up - she's -_

Katara lurches, falling to the floor on her palms and knees and hacks. Hair falls in her face, sticking to the sweat that's soaked her cheeks and brow and her body racks with empty heaves as her stomach pulses and her throat clenches.

 _Someone, somewhere dies and she can feel their heart disappear like a blown-out candle - the bender has a father, a mother, a brother, sister, lover,_ family _somewhere and she will never know them._

She gags again. Her nails rip into the wood as her thighs quiver.

_They die for nothing, thinking they have died for everything. They think they died protecting the earth when really they're just destroying it._

"Katara?  _Katara_!" A voice breaks through the screams, the cries, the clashes and the heartbeats that's drowning her, pushing her against the wood and she can't hold herself up for too much longer. " _What did you do to her?_  What did you  _do?_ "

_It's all a lie. Everything she's ever known - a lie._

" _Get it together_ , we're in the middle of a damn  _war_!"

" _Just give her a fucking minute!"_

A lie. They're dying for a damn lie. She doesn't know why they're fighting this war when things are just going to be the same.

They've become the humanless creatures they sought to fight.

"We don't have a minute!"

 _Every last one of them_. They're all dying.

" _Katara!"_

"It's the bloodbending; she can hear the heartbeats. This affects her a lot more than it does you!"

She can feel a pull on her body, sharp spikes in her chest and something slicking  _under_  her skin but she doesn't even move.  _Can't_  move. The hold on her body won't let her and she doesn't want to either.

The waterbender keeps retching.

"It hasn't hurt her before like this! Get her up! Benders are dying and she needs to help end this  _now_  before - "

"  _\- Katara - !"_

The slick touch under her skin slides across and reaches for her stomach, holding onto it in a grip so tight that she cries out but she stops retching. Her body stills, held in place by the icy cold hand that keeps squeezing tighter. A coolness inches towards her heart that Katara can't bring herself to fight.

"Step back  _now_  or you'll regret it!

Hands cup her cheek and gently urges her to look up. Warm, worried, amber eyes, angry scar on the cheek.  _Zuko_. "Katara - what - "

She sees nothing but him,  _feels_  nothing but him and the warmth of his hands against her cold cheeks brings her back from the churning and the world of destructive colors. His warmth pushes back the ice in her chest and she focuses on  _him_.

Hama - she's trying to get a hold on her and Katara doesn't know  _why_.

"I can't, Zuko.  _I can't do this anymore_ \- " she breaks off into a sob, a choke. " _Please don't make me do this anymore_ , I  _can't_  - I can't - "

His thumbs stroke across her cheeks. "No one's going to make you do anything. It's okay, I'm here - your brother's here - Aang, Toph - we're here. Just calm down.  _Calm_ \- "

"Don't touch her, firebender!"

" _I can't -_ "

And he's being pulled away. Hands ripped from her cheeks and the ice takes over again as Hama surges forward and she's so cold and she wants to be warm but it's  _gone_ \- he's  _gone_ , stumbling back and hauled up and away from her like he's a leper that can infect her.

" _The Fire Prince!_ "

" _What -_? Katara! You did this!"

She can't move. The spikes are still in her blood, holding her to the floor as her body aches with the stabs of a thousand knives. Katara manages to lift her head, blinking, and through the smoke she sees Zuko. Three waterbenders hold him back but he pushes against them.

He's trying to get to her.

Other hands are on her shoulders. Soothing, cold but not bender-cold. They're not as cold as the feeling in her blood.

"I can't."  _Move. Fight. Breathe._

"Can't what? Katara? What are you talking about?" Sokka tries to pull her up but he doesn't know - doesn't understand that she can't move.

Hama has a hold on her. For what reason, Katara doesn't  _understand_. But she's pushing her against the wood deck and it vibrates against her hands, echoing every movement, every fall of the soldiers around her.

She tries to move - tries to do  _something_  but can't break against her former Master.

"The ship is coming apart! Get her up,  _now_!"

Hama tugs on the strings that holds her. Without her own commands, her body starts jerking up, knees and arms shaking under the strain. It  _hurts_. The knives in her flesh scrape against her veins and her blood turns to cold it burns.

Sokka helps her up as best he can, probably thinking  _he's_  the one doing it rather than Hama.

"No -  _no_  - " She protests but it dies on her lips.

Hama has her standing upright. Sokka is at her back. Zuko to her front, struggling against the benders but he looks...confused.

The hold on her blood drops and she falls back against Sokka, not expecting the sudden release but he catches her easily, supporting her weight as she gets her legs underneath her right. The cold leaves so swiftly it leaves her breathless; the shudders stop and she tries to suck in a breath but gets lungs full of smoke.

"Get on that ship and - !"

Katara shakes her head. " _No._ " The protest is weak, lost in a scream of a dying man and she coughs to clear herself of the smoke. " _No_ ," she says more insistently, "I won't bloodbend for you anymore."

She turns her eyes up to her father and pleads him with her eyes.

"I can't do it anymore. Please don't make me do this."

"You have to! Our lives hang on the attack and you  _must_  fight with me," Hama insists. There's something mad in her eyes and it almost seems familiar - like she's looking in a mirror - but Katara shakes her head.

"I won't fight this war any longer. I  _won't_  fight."

"You would leave your kinsmen to die?" Hahn's voice is sharp, angry.

"Katara,  _think_  about what you're doing," Sokka whispers in her ear.

Sangok's jaw is rigid. "You would let us be subjected to another massacre. For what? For  _what_ , Katara?"

Lu Ten is unreadable. His lips, unmoving.

"Katara - " Hakoda. "We have no other choice."

" _No._  I won't do it! You can't use me like that any longer. We're just as bad as the firebenders and I just  _can't_  fight knowing that anymore."

"You're speaking treason."

Then, all at once.

" - take her down - deal with her later - "

" - there is no  _later_. We need to get her to do this - "

" - you can't make her - !"

" _Quiet_ , firebender!"

" - make her, Hakoda - "

" _I'm not doing anything!_ "

" - we're going to  _die_ \- "

" - traitor - "

"- should have killed him while we still had the chance - "

" -  _no_! Just let them both go and - "

"Kill him."

A flash of movement. An order from Hama's lips and her allies are swift, grabbing at the black cloth around Zuko's body and they're too quick, too sudden for him to shake off. One has an ice dagger to his throat; the other two freeze his palms to his sides.

Katara's fingers twist in the air and she has the three waterbenders holding Zuko by invisible strings. Her arms shake, but adrenaline -  _madness_  is giving her all of the energy she needs to keep a hold.

It's as if everything stops. The voices, the arguing, the screams and the fighting.

"You  _will not_  lay a hand on him," she snaps.

Hama turns to  _her_ now.

"Katara - !" Sokka reaches out to her - Hakoda's eyes widen and Hahn looks more shocked than anything. But she can't look at them. She's looking at her former Master, a dare in her eyes and a threat in her thoughts..

 _Kill him_ , she says with her eyes,  _and I will drain you of your blood through your very skin and paint the sky red._

"Let him go." Hakoda orders. "Let him go  _now._ " Then to Katara, "Let them go."

"You won't kill or hurt him?" She doesn't look away. Hama's smile - cold, sharp on her weathered skin - is nothing more than the upward tilt of her lips.

"I promise. Now let them go before this gets out of hand."

The Water Tribe flag burns. More heartbeats vanish and she feels a large wave building beneath her. But this… she's in an entirely different battle now.

Katara twists her fingers again, lets go of the strings and the Northerners sag with relief. Their hands fall off of Zuko but he doesn't race towards her. He stands, stoic and stern and for a second she's confused.

When she looks away from Hama to see him, she sees fear. Wary. Looks that punch her in the gut and slice at her stomach. Even when he finally gets control and wears a new mask….

She will never forget that look. Katara didn't want for him to see her bloodbend ever again. That was a side of her… she wanted it to be lost like the memories of how she's used it.

But she can't look for long, because as soon as her hold drops, Sokka grabs her wrists and holds them at her back. She lets him, leaning back almost because he's strong and sturdy and won't hurt her.

 _She's dangerous._  Katara has shown them all that she isn't playing around anymore. She's chosen a side and will stick to it. An enemy, perhaps even a traitor.

Her father's face is hard when he steps in front of her. He reaches out and lifts her chin so that she can see nothing but familiar blue eyes. "You may not want to hear this, Katara, but you need to. People are dying. Your cousins, brothers. We can't hold for long.  _We need you._ "

Katara forces down a knot that tightens her throat. A father should never have to beg his daughter. For a moment, she nearly wavers, but closes her eyes and sees red and blue and destruction.  _She doesn't want to fight anymore - can't_  fight anymore. "I-can't."

"They're  _dying_."

"They've  _been_  dying, dad." The words tear at her heart but she  _must_  say them. "I can't...this is a massacre, dad, I just... _can't_  - " She chokes on her own words, eyes stinging as if she's in smoke.

Hakoda's face falls and he looks as broken as she feels. It hurts her - seeing him like this. And in instinct, she tugs at her arms where Sokka holds them but he clutches her tightly.

"Would you let  _us_  die? Your own father and brother? Aang? Would you kill  _yourself_  for this? If this ship falls, then so do all of us." Hakoda drops his hand from her chin.

"Katara. wh - " Sokka's other words are drowned by a crash.

"The mast!" Sangok shouts in alarm. " _Aang_! Keep it up! You  _must_  keep it up!"

"He can't hold it!" Her father is gone, replaced by the Chief. She doesn't exist anymore - her treachery forgotten in favor of saving the crew.

He's always put them before her.

"Out of the way!  _Get out of the way!_ "

"The ship's falling apart!"

"We won't be able to get away!"

Running - her father, Sangok, Hahn, Lu Ten break away - right towards the battle that may claim all of their lives.

Screams. A snap. Katara looks up just in time to watch the wooden beam crash to the deck of the ship. Sokka twists and she's flung around as he throws his back in front of hers to protect her from the wooden shards that fly about.

 _More screams._  More death, more dying. More fathers and brothers and uncles and cousins that won't return home to the women waiting in the healing boats or at home.

Katara quivers as she turns, eyes wide and breath coming fast as she looks up to Sokka. He looks lost, so lost, and there's nothing she can do to help him because she's just the same.

"Sokka," Her throat is thick, vision blurred. His grip tightens around her shoulders and he is the scared boy he used to be so many years ago. "What are we going to do?"

"We're going to  _fight_!" Hama snarls but Katara can't tear away from Sokka; but the bloodbender does it for her, reaching out to grasp a hold of her blood with that chilling touch and Katara's wrenched free of her free will and of her brother's arms. " _Get a hold of yourself or we'll all die!"_

"Let  _go_  of her!" Sokka snaps his hand around her wrist, wrenching Katara back against him. " _You_  don't give out the orders here.  _I_  do!"

"You're nothing but a boy pretending to be a man!" Hama fires back. "Look at you! You're no warrior! You're standing here, a coward, just like your sister while our kin die around us!"

"And what are you doing besides  _bloodbending_  Katara?"

"I'm trying to end this damned battle before we lose everything!" The bloodbender tugs again and Katara stumbles forward.

She fights, planting her boots down against the wooden deck and her nails scrape against her brother's arms as her teeth grit and she  _fights_  the cold away with everything she has. Right now, she has almost nothing - and Sokka's hands are slipping from around her chest -

\- Zuko's fire kick is just enough of a distraction that Hama is forced to break away.

" _Kill the Fire Prince - !_ "

Katara spins around, her own fingers tightening and now she has a hold of Hama. Has her tight, right on the arms and legs because she isn't strong enough to try the chest and heart.

Even after all of this, she still doesn't want to kill the woman she once thought of as family.

Her former mentor freezes in place, pale eyes widening as she slides them over from Zuko and the waterbenders to Katara, a look of betrayal so deep and ironic that Katara nearly laughs.

"Kill the Fire Prince and I kill  _her._ " Katara snaps, never breaking away from Hama's gaze. "Let him go." She tugs on the invisible strings that hold her to Hama, jolting the woman's arms for emphasis.

Hama is fighting against her, too. Katara can feel it in the woman's racing heartbeat and the flickers of movement in the wrinkled fingertips.

"Katara," Sokka warns and his hand presses against her shoulder. He bends down to her ear as if there isn't a battle raging around them -  _no_ , this is a battle right here, too. One that means so much more to her than the one that's destroying her soul. "Think about what you're doing."

"I'm doing what's necessary," Katara keeps her voice tight, controlled, much like the grip she has on Hama. "I won't let you touch him," she says to Hama, "you or anyone else. I  _won't_  tell you again.."

Hama's betrayal turns to disgust. "You would kill us all for  _him_  - your own kind!"

"I won't kill anyone - !"

" - You've already killed yourself if you choose  _him_!"

Something takes hold of Katara - similar to before with the colors and when she had her first  _real_  kills. She burns with raw energy adrenaline,  _madness._  " _Don't_  even touch him."

Hama breaks through Katara's grip with a force so strong that it knocks her back. Her elbow knocks into Sokka's chest and then he's wrenched away by a Northerner.

" _Katara!"_ He cries out in alarm but he won't die -  _can't_ die whereas she  _can_.

Her fingernails scrape against the wooden floorboard and she falls onto her back as Hama keeps pushing her.

" _Katara!"_  Somewhere, Zuko is screaming for her. But she's on the floor of the deck, hidden by the chaos and the battle and a wall of Hama's trusted allies. Nails clawing at wood, ripping, bleeding, and she's not even moving because of the puppet strings.

No one will help a pathetic girl when there are men to be saved.  _She's not going to die - she just as to fight. Fight back with everything she can muster._

Katara grits her teeth, throws everything she has against Hama's grasp for a second, fights the tell-tale chill slicing into her spine and she forces her way through. The moment is temporary, but it's enough. She pushes herself onto her stomach before Hama can completely grab hold again. Her nails clutch at the wood as she drags herself forward, legs all but useless under Hama's paralysis.

She's ripping the tips of her nails off with the sheer amount of force she's using to drag herself along. Her arms ache, cry out with a burn that's familiar but unwelcome, and she's tired -  _so tired._

 _Hama is going to kill her and she will die on this boat with everyone else._  Why can't everything just...end...

She sees her brother's legs as he pushes against the four men that hold him away from her, hears his screams even though they will be lost in the chaos, senses his heartbeat in his chest. She sees the body of a Northerner underneath the fallen mast.

 _Red._  So much red. Again. The red is no longer confined to nonbending combat. It's here...right in front of her very face.

It's pooling, running down a plank of wood and she can't move away from it. The red slides towards her, attracted by the pull of Hama's bloodbending and  _Katara can't stop it._

"I'll make this quick." Hama announces as the chill moves up her spine. Katara drops her head onto the deck, breathing in a shuddering breath that may be her last. Her cheeks are wet - with what, she doesn't know -  _doesn't want to know._

Her palm is slick, warm. Her stomach clenches.

 _Red._  She can't die - isn't dying, won't die.  _All she can see is red._ So much red.

Zuko screams her name and Sokka cries out.

 _She's not going to die. She_ can't _die._

" _Blue fire!"_  And the scream is enough for even Hama to tremble; but the tremble is enough for Katara. She seizes the moment -  _she isn't going to die_  - and flips onto her back, an arc of water from the sea pelting into Hama's back from behind.

Hama jolts forward but catches herself before she can fall and Katara pelts her again from the front, kicking her backwards so that she can stand.

Katara's shaky when she rises, red-tipped fingers already locked and poised in the air as Hama sneers. The older woman attacks again - desperately searching for a weak spot in Katara's focus; but Katara holds on, pushes back against her with everything she has as she searches Hama for her own.

Sweat beads along her forehead. It's come down to this: her, or her master. Puppet strings connecting two master puppeteers together.

Katara's grip finally tightens around Hama's blood. Pale eyes widen, alabaster lips tight across a shocked mouth.

"You won't kill me," Katara hisses. "And I won't let you kill him."

"Katara...Katara, listen," Zuko speaks to her right but she doesn't blink away from her former Master. If she does, it's over. "You don't have to do this - you don't have to kill her."

"Don't you dare defend her," Katara shoots back.

"I'm  _not_. But you don't need to do this. You don't need to be like that again - like, like  _her._ "

"I don't need a fire bastard to speak for me." Hama snaps, eyes flashing angrily to Zuko. "If Katara knows what's good for her, she'll go ahead and kill me now. But if she does," she looks back to her, "she'll die too. The Northerners won't let her get away with killing a bloodbender. It's the only thing that's kept us both alive for so long."

Katara swallows. Her hold wavers but she snaps it back.

Hama continues, not even close to being finished. "Do you think they would have let just  _anyone_  stay alive? Even with your father, they would have drowned you and pushed your body over the edge of the boat as soon as you stepped on board with  _him_.

"The bending you claim to hate so much is the only thing keeping you alive. But I think you know that already - you know what we all really are. I think you've known all along. And now that you let yourself be twisted by his mind, you're finally letting yourself be bothered by it."

One of the Northerners move and Katara squeezes Hama too tightly. The old woman chokes out a cry and her allies quickly step back.

"D-Don't move or I'll fucking kill her! You hear me? I'll kill her,  _I swear._ " Katara threatens with as much of a snarl as she can.

"Katara," Sokka's voice is soft, smooth. A comfort in the heat and ash and fire and water and ice. "Listen to me… Hama's right. If you kill her, they'll kill you."

She shakes her head.  _No. She won't die here. Not after she's fought so hard._

"They will."

Katara denies it again. Tears well in her eyes and she swallows down a sob. She can't die - not when she has to get Zuko off the ship, when she owes a life debt to him for bringing her aboard this horror in the first place.

_Spirits, she's been so wrong about everything._

"Katara." Her brother pauses in his plea. " _Please._ "

"Why?" Katara asks to Hama. "Why do you want to kill him? He's done nothing wrong to you!"

Hama looks shocked. Like she's surprised Katara even asked - but she needs to hear her say it,  _needs_ something to fuel the fire inside that Zuko and Sokka are trying to put out.

There's another cracking sound. Someone cries out for the Avatar's help. Someone tells Toph to throw the rock into the metal ship harder. Someone begs for mercy. Someone calls out for their mother.

" _Why?_ "

Hama's face is a storm. "Why do you want him to live? Why would you give your kin up for the likes of  _him_? Why are you so adamant about all of this, Katara?"

"Because this is the  _only_  choice I've ever had!" Katara fires back. Then she realizes it's the truth… all of the choices she's ever made own her own, freely without influence, have been with and about Zuko… "He's the one person that I've had to protect, that I've willingly protected that didn't ask for a piece of my spirit in return.

" _He's_  the only choice I've ever had and yuo're trying to take that away from me.  _Why_ , Hama?  _Why?_ "

A fireball flies over their heads and they're standing far closer than Katara expected. She's surprised no one has intervened, that no one has interrupted them…

Maybe nature - the world - the Sprits realize that this… they all need this more than anything. This meeting has to happen for her sake, at least.

She squeezes her fingers to remind the Northerners that she has control over Hama. Her muscles ache with holding on for so long but Hama isn't fighting back anymore. They're both sweating, foreheads sheen and slick and panting with exertion and emotion.

Right now it's just Katara and Hama. No one else.

"I've fought this war ever since I was young - as young as you were. You are lucky not to witness the things that  _I did._  I watched our villages, our tribe  _burn_ to the ground. Our benders were  _herded_  like cattle and slaughtered like they were  _nothing_. You may have felt the repercussions of our destroyed culture but you didn't have to watch it  _like I did._

"I have lost  _everyone_  that I love in this war.  _Everyone_  to a firebender who had no right to take a life." Hama swallows, eyes blazing with a cold fury that could chill Katara to the bone if she wasn't in control. "I have given my life, my everything, to taking from those who took so much from me."

"But Zuko didn't do anything."

"You think he's some innocent? - that he hasn't killed waterbenders before? Katara, open your  _eyes_. He's just as guilty as the rest of them - just as guilty as  _you_  are for killing firebenders."

Katara tightens her grip even more. Sweat beads on her forehead, slides down her cheeks and they feel like tears. Is she crying? Blinking, she shakes her head frantically. "I  _know_  I did and-and I hate that - I hate it all. Everything that I did -  _I hate it._ "

"You saved countless lives, Katara -  _we_  saved countless lives! We used the bending that was gifted to us. It's just like using earthbending, like firebending, like - "

"No it's not! Can't you see that? Look at us, Hama, just  _look_  at us!" Katara screams back. "I...I killed two men with my bare hands - not with bloodbending,  _with my hands_! And I wanted to kill  _more._  Don't you think this is because of bloodbending? That somehow, it makes us like this? Like - like  _monsters_."

Hama snarls at the word. "Bloodbending is the same as every other bending. You've  _always_  believed that."

"I don't anymore. They were right. The Northerners wanted us do it, but they were right. Bloodbending isn't right and I don't want to do it anymore."

"Then let go." Hama challenges. "Let go of me. I want to see how convicted you are about this."

She shakes her head. "You'll kill me and Zuko."  _She'll kill them both._ Hama...she needs to die if they're going to get out of this.  _She needs to die._

Do it.  _Do it._  She should kill her now while she has the grip. Hama wants her to do it - she's goading her for a reason; wants to escape this existence just like they want to.

"It's not so easy to make choices, isn't it, Katara?"

"Be quiet!"

"Katara," Zuko says. "Let go."

"No, Zuko, she'll kill us! I can't let go, I have to  _do this._ "

"Katara, please. Let go of her." Sokka's voice is unsteady. "If you kill her, you'll give her what she wants."

"What's going on here?  _What_ \- ?"  _Dad._

_Do it. Kill her now._

"Katara...what are you doing?" Sangok.

"She's going to kill me." Katara's fingers are trembling. She squeezes and Hama gasps at the clench in her blood. "She's going to kill me and Zuko. I-I have to do this. She won't let me leave."

"Katara...you and Hama are very important to this war. If you kill Hama...I'm not sure what they'll do to you, but I know I won't be able to protect you." Hakoda speaks gently. "Please don't do this. There's...there's a battle going on right now and we need her."

 _Do it._  She clenches.

 _Do it._  "Tell them to let Zuko and Sokka go," she demands.

"Okay, all right. They're free, no one will hurt them. Just...think about what you're doing."

Bile stings her throat. Tears brim her eyes. "Zuko, leave now while you still have the chance."

"I'm not leaving you behind."

" _Please._  They'll just end up killing you and I won't let that happen."

"Katara, please let her go. We can leave together if you let her go."

"Not so easy to abide by your so-called beliefs, is it?" Hama teases.

"Be quiet, Hama!" Sangok orders.

But Hama keeps going. "You're weak. Pathetic. You only believe in what's good for you at the time - whichever will suit you best. You speak against bloodbending but here we are. Go ahead, Katara, show us what you're really made of."

" _Be quiet!_  Katara, don't. We can forget about everything if you want. Just let her go." Sangok's voice is soft, gentle; different than how it was before.

"Please."  _Zuko_.

She is a monster.

Katara's intake is shaky and her fingers feel frozen but she manages to flex them out, relaxing her hold on Hama as her arms drop to her sides. Exhaustion floods through her, replacing the adrenaline that had let her grab on for so long.

There isn't a collective sigh of relief. There isn't anything. Katara drops her head a bit and turns to look at Zuko, an apology already in her eyes as she parts her lips to speak one out.

And that's when Hama's frigid touch wraps around her spine.

She gasps out, shocked, and Hama growls out something that she can't hear. Zuko's eyes widen and Sokka tries to block her body with his. But it's too late, Hama has a tight grip on her already and she can feel her blood begin to freeze, her body wracking with shivers as Sokka holds onto her.

She can't breathe. Her lungs are frozen.  _Cold. So cold_. She's a block of ice and she's so  _cold._

 _No. No. No. No. No._  Katara squeezes her eyes closed and  _pushes_  - she thinks of warmth, of fire, of Zuko and of the flames he's conquered. Everything. Anything.  _No._

Warm. Warmth. Heat. Fire, flame, burns. Orange, red, white.

Katara breaks through Hama's cold and shoots her hands forward. Fingers twisting - Hama's face pales - and she grips onto the warm, red blood running through her veins. She twines through the veins - find the heart, find the beat.  _There._

_Do it._

She yanks, pulls with everything she has and Hama's heart explodes. The heartbeat is gone. Shattered in a burst. Destroyed.

Hama's body falls to the floor in a loose heap. A thud that she barely registers. Katara watches as her former master crumbles, forces herself to see what she's done.

The first person that she looks to when she turns away is Zuko and he's staring back, eyes wide, mouth open.

_She's a monster._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know you were all expecting Azula/Zuko in this chapter and I apologize for not including her. She did make a brief cameo! I'm also really, really sorry if this update was a disappointment in general.
> 
> For those of you confused as to how I portray bloodbending AND Zuko/Katara (trust me, it is related), shoot me an ask on tumblr or a message and I'll be happy to explain in full. I think that at the core, bloodbending highly influenced the sheer level of Katara's violence in this fic. With a bit more complaints about her violence, I felt the need to sort of address than in-fic. Then the idea sort of took away and led to the Hama/Katara showdown.
> 
> If you don't like the direction of the story and this chapter, I'm sorry. In my defense, this is the the way the story wanted to go, so it's what I followed.
> 
> Once again, thank you very much for your patience and support. You're all so wonderful and I don't deserve you :)


	27. Chapter 27

Katara knows the pain of ice wrapped around her veins. Of a cold so fierce that it sears her skin. Of heat so biting that it chills. Of the sounds, the feeling, of dying a dozen deaths in the midst of battle.

All of that...is nothing. Because right now she's learning pain that cuts right to the soul. And it's not even  _her_ pain that she's feeling...it's Zuko's.

"I - " she starts but stops. Words won't save her now and they won't heal the wounds in his eyes. She swallows, lifts her chin because despite everything she  _can't_  crumble again. Not now, not when fierce adrenaline rushes through her veins. The song of violence calls to her and makes her blood sing.

She's touched blood and she wants more. The voice that calls to her - one that tells her to make red fools of these men that judge her so - tells her to  _give_ them something to judge, to prove to them that she  _is_ what they've been afraid of for so long.

Her heart still feels like ice even without Hama's grip locked around her body. Palms itching and blood burning despite the chill, she draws in a shaky breath, steadies her quivering hands by curling them into tight fists and hopes that it will get rid of the itch as well.

Hama, on the floor in a heap; lifeless, pale skin somehow brighter and eyes wide open, lips parted in a shocked gasp.  _Is that blood on her lips?_  Fitting, really. A master bloodbender to die not only by her student, but by the bending she so fiercely defended.

They thought her a monster. She has every right to claim that title.

She supposes she  _has_  claimed it now. Kinslaying. It's the worst of crimes.  _Monster_  - the words wrap around her like a crown and now she's not afraid because with this title she is finally  _free._

The things that she once hated have become her salvation.

"Captain -  _Captain_!" Aang lands in the center of their little circle, eyes bright and wide and his robes flutter around his slender body. "Captain - ?" He looks to Hahn, then Hakoda and finally around the tiny circle, hearing nothing but silence from those that are in charge.

The Avatar looks down and breathes in sharply. He steps back from Hama's body and jerks around to look at the surviving bloodbender, disbelief etched across his features and innocent grey eyes.

"Captain…" Aang says, looking away from Katara with a frown and to Hakoda. His knuckles are white and Katara wonders just how much he disapproves of her violence. Their Savior has always been a lover of peace.

 _Who cares_? They're all murderers anyway. Even the precious Avatar - the Savior of them all has hands just as red as she does.  _She did the right thing - she showed them all, showed_ Hama. She isn't to be messed with, isn't to be stopped - she won't be used.  _Never again._

"Toph is injured. She couldn't do any major damage to the ship before she got knocked by a fireblast. I took her to the back of the boa. She needs a healer,  _now._ "

Hakoda blinks and his body goes rigid as he remembers what's going on around them. Is there a battle still? "The healers are on the other ship. Find - "

"I can heal her," Katara offers because it's  _Toph_ , one of the few people who managed to truly befriend her.  _Truly._ The bending won't satisfy the itching in her palms but it's  _something_  for now. She makes a move to follow Aang when she's interrupted with a look that seeks to freeze her in place.

Sangok just  _stares_ at her. At first, he looks confused, as if he even forgot where he was and who  _she_  was; but then something dark takes over and he scowls, stepping closer to her with anger and blocking her path to the Avatar.

"Do you have  _any_  idea of what you've just done?  _Do you?!_  You - you have killed us  _all_  with this  _stunt_  of yours.  _My men_  are going to  _die_. And you know what? - "

"- Sangok - "Sokka warns.

But he pays no mind. " _No._  No, she is going to  _listen_  and she's going to  _know_  exactly what she has done to us all." To her, he glowers more, his hands shaking at his sides and she wonders if he'll hit her, if he's thinking of it at all.

 _Please do it._  She'd do anything to grab a hold of him, too. He's been so  _awful_  and he should be taught a lesson, too….  _just like Hama_. Just like the rest of them - !

She could do it. Grab a hold of him, squeeze his heart until he cried and groveled at her very feet. She invited him into her  _bed_  - they  _had something_  and now he was going to speak to her like  _this_. Katara can make him beg for mercy - oh, that would be sweet, wouldn't it?

"You're not getting away this time. You're going to sit here and  _watch_  all of these men die - one by one - because of  _you._  You did this.  _You_."

Katara's eyes narrow. "Don't threaten me, Sangok," she says in a voice of ice, "Not when I didn't even have a choice. Hama deserved it. She was going to kill me and Zuko and I  _wasn't_  going to let that happen."

 _How would he plead? Would his eyes widen with fear or with humiliation?_ She wants to see. Oh, how she wants to  _feel_  his heart quicken.

_Do it._

He sneers. "Maybe you should have."

Her palms itch furiously now.  _If she just reached out just a little…_ Blue, a waterbender's blue, flashed in her eyes and she feels her veins turn to ice as her fingers twitch.  _Just a little…_ Do it.

"Toph needs a healer now. She's all we have left in trying to get that ship apart." Hakoda snaps and pulls Sangok away as gently as he can. "Katara's the only trained healer that isn't already fighting. Aang, take her and Sokka to where the earthbender is."

"And what happens when she's finished?" Sangok demands.

"That's none of your concern right now." Lu Ten steps forward. "Right now, we have bigger things to worry about. Or would you rather debate over what's going to happen to your ex-lover rather than fight for your people?"

" _Listen_ , firebender - "

Katara doesn't hear the rest of it. Aang and Sokka and Zuko whisk her away, the airbender pulling her towards the back of the ship as fire rains down on them, Zuko re-directing it away with a simple twist of his hand and a thrust of his arm.

The flutter of a dozen panic hearts almost makes her pause. So many hearts and so few beats; it pushes against her chest, the blood in her veins quickens. Could she save them, even if she tried? Has she doomed all of them to a watery grave?

It doesn't bother her how little she cares. These men, with their cruel glares and words, mean less to her than the firebenders on the other ship do right now.

Yet still...the violence is oh so tempting.

"I can fight," she tells Sokka as he follows after Aang, his hand tight on her upper arm and he pushes benders out of the way with his other. "I can fight them."  _Kill them_. Freeze each and every one of them with an icy fist and a breath of frost. Turn their lips pale blue. Make them experience an icy hell they will never forget.

He doesn't hear her or he's ignoring her. But Zuko is well aware of what she's offering.

"Snap out of this," he hisses, blocking another fireball with a swipe. She glances up at him, a bit wide-eyed and confused -  _but that could be because of the song that sings through her body, a Song of Death_   _and Destruction_  - "This needs to end. Don't let the Dark take over. Not now."

Her and Zuko - they are going to die but they don't have to here; but if she doesn't do something, then they  _will._  Why can't he see that? Why can't he see that her palms are practically burning with temptation? That the itch is now in her mind, the need to silence all of those horrendously loud heartbeats?

"I can do it." She pushes again. "Tell them." Katara thinks back to what he said when he convinced her to stay on the ship -  _does he regret that?_  "We can save them all, Zuko." Didn't he want that? To be the hero he never had a chance to be?

 _She can give him that._  Give him everything he ever wanted before they flee this place of hypocrisy and lies.

"Katara,  _please_." His eyes don't have the betrayal in them anymore. Now they're just concerned and she's taken back to that night when she nearly tore the flesh from her very skin. He sounded like that then...concerned, nervous, anxious,  _afraid._

But not  _of_ her.  _For_  her.

Zuko slides his hand into her palm and for once, the itching stops. The bloodlust disappears, replaced with nothing but the tingle of his touch and hers. " _Please_ ," he whispers. "Fight against it.  _Fight it._ "

"But I thought that's what you  _wanted_. You want me to save them, don't you? That's what you said - that's what you  _said_."

He shakes his head. "Not if this is the price. You shouldn't do this, Katara. If you do, you'll never come back."

She doesn't have the time to ask him just what he means because the earthbender yanks on the back of her tunic.

"Hurry up Sugarcakes, I took a real bad hit and I have a score to settle with those damn firebenders." Toph snaps and Zuko urges Katara forward. The blind earthbender is in the tiny hallway, propped up on the wall and sitting on the floor, fire blisters up and down her left side and Katara smells burnt flesh when she kneels down beside her.

The burns are bad but she can probably heal them -  _Hama would have been better_  - Katara shakes her head at that, quickly grabbing at water from the ocean to bend towards her. She wraps it around her hands in a glove, reaches deep inside her chi to find the peace of healing, of mending life.

Serene - a cool, blissful feeling takes over and silences everything around her. The waterbender runs her hands along the earthbender's right arm and leg, ignoring the hiss of unpleasantness from Toph to focus on mending _._

She connects her peace with the healing, empowers it so that it pulls more from her energy to heal the more extensive parts. The drain is noticeable almost immediately but Katara keeps going.

When she's done, she lets the water just fall in her lap. She feels a bit light-headed and her shoulders feel heavy but…she feels  _better._  Like healing Toph also forced her to heal herself. The itching isn't as noticeable in her palms or mind and her blood has cooled.

 _She takes life and gives it._  Bloodbends and heals. Everything about her is a contradiction, isn't it?

"Thanks -  _hey_ ," Toph stops, frowns and reaches forward, her chubby hands feeling along Katara's brow and down her nose to the tight line of her lips. Her face turns serious. "What happened?"

"Much," Zuko answers and his warm hand is on her shoulder again.

"Can you bring the ship down?" Sokka asks, steering the conversation from Katara.

Toph's frown doesn't leave but she nods her head. "I need more sea rock but I can get it. Those fuckers won't stand a chance." Then, to Katara, a low whisper, "It was Hama, wasn't it?"

The earthbender's hand goes to her heart, feels how it races at the mention at her former master's name. Her mouth tightens and she leans forward, lips brushing against the shell of her ear. Breathes in.

" _Run._ "

Katara's fists clench tightly in her lap and she looks over to Hakoda. Her father, his eyes wide and lips parted, cheeks shocked white. To Sangok, Hahn; their faces furious, flushed red with anger and wounded pride because they know they've lost two of their best weapons on this very ship to each other.

She isn't ashamed to notice that one part of her relishes that...ignores the part that is put off by their emotions.

Toph presses against her heart again, reminding her of her words and scrambles away. Aang sweeps her up in a cradle and launches them into the air, back to the frontlines. Katara rises, holds her head high as she steps back towards the circle with venom in her eyes.

Sangok's eyes narrow and she feels like she's going to lose it. How  _dare_  he -

"This is what you wanted, isn't it?" Katara accuses, shouting above the calls of death and destruction that surround them because she  _will not_ be silenced. Not now. Not when she  _finally_  has their attention. "You  _wanted_  this."

Lu Ten steps forward and she cuts her eyes to him and he stops, pauses for a moment and gives her a look so pleading that she narrows her stare.  _What_  -

\- Zuko moves and she whirls to face him. Amber eyes are hot with pain and there's an undercurrent of disappointment. Red cheeks, pale, sickly white skin and she feels something tug at her heart's strings.  _She did this to him…_

She softens. Just for a moment.  _Run_.

Another heartbeat vanishes and Katara feels it in her bones. Another, and another.  _So much death_  and it's making her eyes swim and her chest ache.

Katara knows what she must do.

"Come with me," she says, her voice low and she stretches out a hand. "We can leave. No one will stop us now." Somewhere, there's a plea there that she knows he will hear -  _hopes_  that he will.

They can escape now. Hama, gone; everyone shocked into silence and rooted in place. They wanted her to become the monster she is and she's released that… There is no place for her here - no place for  _them._  Not even next to her brother or father, her former lover and closest friend.

Despite the freedom of knowing this is it, it still comes with a price. She -  _they_  - will never be the same. Her family, gone. Her former life, gone. Everything...gone.

Katara wonders why she doesn't feel any sadness.

Zuko steps forward, slides his warm palm into her cold one and she closes it tightly. Her skin tingles, from adrenaline or his touch, she doesn't know.  _Is there even a difference_?

"You can't just leave - " Sokka protests and she looks at him. Something in her eyes stops him in his tracks and she wishes she could see how she appears.

" _Katara_." A plea. Her father's.

"I shouldn't have even stayed." She smiles, weak and faltering and a little pained, but a smile. "This is not my home and these are not my people. Not anymore."

Hahn's face is hard. "You would leave us to die, then?"

Her eyes turn sharp and Zuko's fingers clench around hers. "It is no less than what you have all done to me ten-fold - what you would do to me  _still_."

Aang is there, a gust of wind blowing pieces of her hair back and he  _knows_. In his hands, he carries a pack.  _Her_  backpack with the supplies Lu Ten gave them. Katara reaches forward and takes it, slides it across a free shoulder.

"Good luck," he says with a voice that pinches at her chest. The Avatar steps forward, the fragile little boy that she held just yesterday holds her now, breathes her in like this is the last time he'll ever see her. And perhaps he's right.

He steps back and she turns to her brother and father. The only blood family she has. They will survive, she is sure. They have before and they will now. It is the only thing she lets herself think about when she gives them a small smile.

Sokka is the first to break. Tears in his eyes, he wraps her up but she keeps hold of Zuko's hand. " _I'm sorry_ ," he whispers into her neck and she understands what he's apologizing for. Everything. The bloodbending, the fighting. Not being there when she needed him most.

Her father is next. Calloused fingers touch the curve of her cheek before he lowers his head to brush his lips across her forehead like he did when she was a child. She lets her eyes slide close, allows herself to become that naive, innocent little child again.

He doesn't apologize.

Hahn says nothing, that is no surprise. Sangok keeps his mouth shut for once, a trait that she hopes he will carry with him in the future.

The only thing that lessens it is Zuko's warmth.

When she steps away, she walks by the firebender's side. Lu Ten gives her a knowing look and a respectful nod. Toph is somewhere, her strong heart beating as she keeps throwing attack after attack after attack into the Fire Ship.

The old Katara would stay, would protect  _her people_  and family until she could no longer breathe. But not anymore. Hama was the last straw. Blood thirst sings to her, urges her to turn her back to the waters that await her and Zuko, begs her to rip the hearts out of every last firebender's chest.

But she can't. Not anymore. It's time that she started living by her beliefs.

She clutches Zuko's hand tight in hers as her other arm arcs overhead. A cocoon of water covers them and enough air to get away from this ship.

He leads her to the water and she doesn't look back as she lets it wash over them.

-/-

The nearest island isn't so far away. Within the hour, they are on sandy banks, wet to the bone but she doesn't even think about bending it away. Her limbs drag heavily but she hasn't let go of his hand.

"Why?" Zuko asks, breaking his silence. He probably already knows but just wants to hear her say it. Maybe that will make this more real. Make her feel like she's really alive rather than walking in some dream.

"I'm no one's pawn," she answers, checking the sand and tree line for signs of movement. Seeing none, she looks over at him to see him watching her. "I'm so tired, Zuko."

He nods, understanding. His amber eyes flicker to their hands and he brushes a thumb across her palm. "Do you regret it?"

"No." The answer is as easy as breathing.

A pause. A swallow. "Do you think you will?"

Katara turns to the sea and just looks. Tries to make out reds and blues that don't belong to the setting sun. What of her brother? her father? Toph? Aang? Lu Ten?

Under different circumstances, she might be saddened by the short list of names she has. But not now. It's almost a blessing to know there are so few people she's concerned about. So few people that she's abandoned.

"I don't know," she answers honestly and turns back to the shore.

The Fire Prince doesn't ask another question, so Katara sets off to the tree line, hand reaching to dig into the pack for the knife she knows must still be there.

There is work to do, and she hasn't forgotten how relatively useless the Fire Prince is when they camp.

-/-

She's fashions a shelter from the thick banana leaves and close trees right next to the sand. Underneath the makeshift roof, she's rolls their pallets out and Zuko has made a small fire. The sun is just dipping beneath the horizon and her moon appears

The surge of power takes away the last bit of strength, and when she lays down on her bedroll she reaches out to grasp the firebender's hand before letting her eyes slide closed. Before she drifts off into sleep, she hears him rustle on his own bedroll and then he's there, his warmth near.

A heavy arm slides across her back and she sighs, finally letting comfort overtake her.

Being anchored by warmth brings such a peaceful sleep.

-/-

When she finally wakes, her mouth is dry and her stomach rumbles. Limbs heavy and eyes bleary, she rolls onto her back and sits up. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she looks over to see Zuko messing with a small fire.

The moon is in the sky; the stars invisible, for whatever reason. She thinks it might be around the middle of the night. The waves are soft against the sand and the breeze feels good against the stickiness of her forehead. It's a bit stuffy in her pallet so she's a little shocked at the chill in the air when she climbs out.

Zuko must hear her moving because he looks over his shoulder. Katara can't make out his eyes but notices that his shoulders tense up a bit. Pushing that away, she shifts along the cold sand until she's kneeling beside him in front of the glowing embers.

Not much of a fire but it's smart. They don't want to attract any attention from the sea.

He hands her a waterjug and she takes it with a small, thankful smile. He's still tense.

"You talked in your sleep. If - If you want to talk about it, you should."

"I'm fine," she says, cutting it off. Zuko presses his lips together in disapproval and she shakes her head. "I...I just don't want to talk about... _that_  right now. Not when...Just not right now. Sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry about. You just shouldn't keep all of that inside you. I can't imagine  _any_  of this is easy for you."

"It can't be easy for you, either."

"I'm not the one that left my family."

"You left Lu Ten," she points out.

He gives her a look. "Just because he's blood doesn't mean his family."

Katara shrugs then bites on the inside of her cheek, musing a bit. "I…want to talk to you about it but...not right now. Maybe...Maybe once I figure everything out for myself. Just wait to tell me what I said until I'm ready?"

She looks up at him and he smiles gently. Katara wants him to wrap her up in his arms again like he did when she first saw him in his cage on the Water Tribe ship. They had been so...so  _eager_  for each other then. Eager for anything, really. Maybe it  _hadn't_  been for her. Maybe he just needed to hold  _someone_.

It's not a welcome thought. "How long was I asleep?" She asks, then takes another drink and hopes that he goes with the change of subject.

"A day," he answers and stabs a stick through the dry leaves and driftwood he's gathered. "I didn't want to wake you."

That explains why her mind feels so groggy.  _A day._  Normally she doesn't sleep for more than a few hours, the curse of a waterbender's moon. Still, there's something weary deep in her bones, like that day was spent awake rather than asleep.

Katara curls her legs in, rests her chin on the top of her knees and stares into the fire. She wonders if she will ever truly regain her strength. Part of her thinks she won't - part of her hopes she never  _does_.

She'll never be the same.  _Nothing_  ever will. Part of her doesn't feel sorry for that...but now, away from everything, she wonders if she'd have done the same if she hadn't met Zuko.

What if Zhao had never captured her ship? What if she hadn't been the only prisoner? What if Zuko hadn't had a spy on Zhao's ship? What if she had let him die rather than take him with her?

If she hadn't been so determined to prove her worth to the Northerners, she would have never had the opportunity to break away from them.

She's lost  _everything._  Her home, her family, her trust. Her sanity, perhaps. The veil of ignorance doesn't blind her anymore and her heart clenches when she thinks of all the things she's  _done._  Of what she  _is._

No taste of freedom will ever wash away the guilt from her past. No matter how much she's changed - how much she's  _lost_ , even if she wouldn't change it for  _anything_  - there will always be some part of her that is haunted by who she used to be.

The firebender stiffens a bit and she looks over as he slides closer. There's a blush on his cheeks and he meets her glance hesitantly, like he's scared she'll stop him as he lifts a hand to swipe his fingertips over her cheek, brushing her hair out of her face and over her shoulder where her ruined braid lies.

Her forehead is sticky and she's a bit sweaty. Probably smelly, too. But he shifts closer still. There's a breeze from the ocean and she lets Zuko put his arms around her. She doesn't feel the chill but the warmth is still nice.

It seemed she wasn't the only eager one for a touch now. Maybe...maybe he  _had_  been eager to touch _her_  underneath the ship before. Now,  _that_  thought is welcome.

Without the others around...she doesn't feel guilty at all for thinking that.

Katara lets her head loll against his shoulder and rests up against him, burrowing into his warmth. A gentle smile glances across her lips and she's so... _comfortable._

 _He's_  comfortable.

"Thank you," she says, closing her eyes as her shoulders relax into his.

"For what?" He sounds a bit confused. The hand draped across her starts tracing little patterns.

Katara swallows. "For being here."

He doesn't say anything for a moment and she wonders if he heard her. Then, "This may sound bad but I don't think I'd rather be anywhere else."

The comment makes her lips twitch at the corners. "This may sound bad but I feel the same."

Zuko settles into her, curving around where she presses against him and she's enveloped in warmth. Does he like her cold as much as she likes his heat? This is the first time that they've  _really_  touched. First time that they've both settled into each other like this…

It feels natural. There's no awkwardness to it. It's comfortable and smooth and feels really nice. His skin isn't overheated and he smells of saltwater and smoke. It probably  _should_  be unpleasant but it isn't. It's nice.  _More_  than nice.

"It's weird," he says, forcing her out of her thoughts. "Weird how we can be like...this but we don't really know anything about each other."

They don't know each other…? They've been together practically every day for the past month. They have seen each other at their lowest and if that doesn't count for something, she doesn't know what will.

He must sense that she's confused because he keeps talking, clarifying what he meant. Then again, he always seems to know when he needs to elaborate.

"I mean...all we know is the... _bad_." She feels him wince underneath her with the choice and she may cringe a bit, too. "Like, I know you and you know me...but there's so much that we  _don't_  know, you know?"

"I guess," she says with a shrug.

He shifts. "Do you...not  _want_  to know me?"

Katara frowns at his tone and sits up so she can look at him.  _Really_  look at him. "Of course I do. I like...knowing things. But does that really matter?"

Something sparks in his eyes and she thinks it's  _her_  turn to clarify.

"What I meant was...I mean, we're both completely different people than we were...or, at least I am. And I like to think that you've changed, too." His frown slides away and after a moment's thought, he nods. "Some things...maybe they're meant to stay in the past."

"But I want to know the old you just like I want you to know the old me. Even if we've changed...I think it would still... _help_." He swallows, lifts a hand to ruffle his hair. "Plus, I mean...what else do we have to do?" Zuko laughs but it's weak.

"I think it'd...be a good way to start over," he continues, looking at her with serious amber eyes. "If we just  _leave_  everything here on this beach we might...forgive ourselves. Let ourselves move on…" A pause. "As much as we can, anyway."

Katara was willing to just shoulder the guilt and  _try_  to smother all of her skeletons. But maybe Zuko isn't talking about just the bad. Maybe he wants the good, too.

Zuko reaches over and drags a pelt across his thighs, soothing it down with his hand and she recognizes it as the fur from the armadillo lion from the first night they were in the forest together. His first animal kill.

"I forgot that you kept it," he remarks, giving her a small smile.

"It's customary to keep the pelt from a first kill." She slides closer and brushes her fingers through the soft fur. "I figured we would need it anyway. It's good quality regardless."

His long, graceful fingers drag through the fur, ruffling it before he pets it back down. He has a soft touch, she notices, not for the first time. "Do you still have the pelt from yours?"

"It's back in the South. My grandmother made it into a fine sealfur rug for my bedroom." The small smile appears despite the pang in her chest when she thinks about Gran-Gran's face. Being a warrior, she didn't spend much time with her, but still...what will she think of her now?

Zuko shifts uncomfortably and looks back down at the lionskin. "Think it'll get cold soon?"

"Summer is bound to end some time. When that will be, I'm not sure." She shrugs. "I'm not very familiar with this weather."

"How was it in the South?"

Katara quirks a brow. "Thinking of traveling down there?"

"Perhaps."

"You wouldn't be able to take the ice."

"Well, you see, I have this armadillo lion pelt…" He smiles, letting the sentence linger in between them and her knees go a bit weak.

She laughs. Actually  _laughs_  despite the fact that the attempt at humor is rather pathetic. But the way he grins and his eyes sparkle a bit playfully and it's so  _stupid_  but she's laughing anyway.

"You're going to need a lot more than that pelt then."

"I'm sure I'll be fine." He waves it off, the grin still spread wide across his face.

"Oh,  _really?_ "

"We firebenders tend to be made of warm stock. I'll just make a few flames and the rest will be rather simple. Won't have to worry about the cold then."

She chuckles but doesn't press the point any. Drawing up her knees, she wraps her arms back around them and looks at the fire. There, sharing hadn't hurt too much, had it? Maybe Zuko was right. Maybe they should share.

Maybe it'd be good to get everything out before...they do whatever they're going to do next. What that is, she isn't sure, and she isn't going to worry herself about it until it's time. For now, it's her, him, the backpack and the beach.

Katara is just fine with that. She'll take this simplicity over  _anything_.

Sighing, she looks over at him. "So...story time?"

He gulps and gives her a wary smile. "I guess so.  _But_ …" Zuko pauses to dig through the backpack again and she waits. When he pulls out the firewhiskey bottle from the night at the hotel, she all but guffaws.

_Don't break the bed._

Her cheeks burn and his turn pink, like he was thinking the same thing she was. That was also the night she…  _No_. Katara shakes her head a bit at the memory of bloodbending him. She won't think about that now.  _Never again._

Zuko handles the firewhiskey bottle and pulls the cork out. "I think we might need a bit of help to get through it all."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies about the wait! If you follow me on tumblr, I'm pretty sure you already know about my little laptop mishap. I hope that this update didn't disappoint. If you have any questions, please feel free to send me a message or an ask. :) 
> 
> Thank you all so much for the amazing support! You're all super wonderful and I'm still in shock. xx


	28. Chapter 28

Firewhiskey has more bite than iceale.

It burns when it slides down her throat and she grimaces. Coughing, she clears her throat and eyes the bottle in her hand with wary.

Zuko barks out a laugh. "Giving up already? Fire Nation drinks too much for you?"

Katara cuts her eyes at him and takes a stronger swig. She closes her eyes against the sear, pinches her lips together to keep it down but she manages to force it down to her stomach. She'll be  _damned_  if she lets the firebender outdrink  _her._  Even if it  _is_  a Fire drink.

"Not a chance," she says as she hands the bottle over to him. He quirks a brow, smirks like he just  _knows_  something that she doesn't. When he takes a swig, he doesn't even blink.

 _Damn_.

"I'll have you know that I've been drinking this stuff since I left the Palace." Zuko eyes the bottle in his hands and runs his long, narrow fingers around the curve of the base. "Sailors and soldiers love their firewhiskey."

"So why did you even offer to drink it with me if you're used to it?" Katara narrows a look at him but takes the bottle back. If he wants to talk about the past, she'll need a little liquid courage anyway.

He shrugs. "Figured you'd want it more than me. And I'm not  _immune_  to it or anything. Just used to it. Plus, it's all we have. If it had been a Water Tribe drink or something, I would have offered it up, too."

Katara takes a drink, biting against the burn but welcoming the warmth that's starting to settle in her belly. He'd better be glad it wasn't a Water Tribe drink in their pack. She  _would_  be able to out-drink him then. Waterbenders can hold up that stuff pretty well.

Sighing, she turns to make her a little nest with her pallet and their backpack, rests against  _it_  instead of him so that she can actually  _watch_  him talk.

"So," she begins and rests her back against the bump her her pallet. "How did you want to do...this?"

Zuko leans back on one hand and takes the bottle she offers with the other. "Figured we'd just sit. Wait. Start talking when we felt like it." He swallows down a gulp. "That way, neither of us feel  _pressured_  to say something."

Katara raises a brow. "And what makes you think either one of us will want to start?"

The firebender smiles but it falters into a grimace. "I think we both have things we've kept inside for too long." He gives her a look and she just...blinks. Because he's got that knowing look in his eyes - like he  _knows_  some of the things she's done.

Just what had she talked about when she was asleep?

Forcing her eyes away, she takes the firewhiskey back and takes a long draft. Look like she's going to need it. This time, she doesn't even notice the burn down her throat. Her stomach just feels warm. Nice.

"I've always liked the idea of beaches," she admits while kicking off her boots. Sliding her feet into the sand, she drops her head back against the pallet and takes a breath. "When I told Sangok that I did, he said it wasn't right. That I should prefer the ice and snow of our homeland." Another hearty gulp. "I never told him anything after that."

"I spent my summers on Ember Island with my sister and her friends… She always complained about the sand and I hated having to spend time with her."

He's never talked about his sister like  _that._  "How old is she?"

"Seventeen. Two years younger than me." He gives her a wry grin. "That's why I hated playing with them so much. I thought it was ridiculous that I, a  _Prince_ , had to play with my younger sister and her  _crew._ I didn't want to spend my time with girls and Lu Ten was never allowed to come with us to the Island."

"I'm sure they had their charms," she teases. Zuko blushes a bit, looks away to the surf and Katara hides her curiosity at the reaction with a drink. "My brother and I…" She swallows. "We didn't get to play much. My Dad wanted him to be a big warrior and I spent my time with master benders so I could learn my element. But even when I did see him he didn't want to waste time playing. He said he wasn't a child anymore."

"And Sokka...he's…?"

"He'll be twenty next winter." Katara smiles but it  _feels_  sad and she feels something flicker in the back of her mind:  _what if he doesn't make it to next winter?_  He'll be stuck at twenty. Forever a young man. Old enough to sacrifice his life for his Tribe but too young to die.

Anger wallows underneath her skin and she bites back a scowl. When she takes a huge sip of the firewhiskey, it's bitter on her tongue and she passes it to the firebender.

"I used to be angry about the Fire Nation's apparent genocide of my people. The War, the Raids, the prisons. I always thought they were out to get us, you know?" She glances at him, sees that he stiffens a bit but she can't tell why. "But now I know. It's our  _stupid_  revolution. Men like my brother die every day for nothing when they should be at home, protecting the homes and fathering children."

 _Sokka would be a wonderful father._  She would be -  _would have been?_  - a good aunt. Maybe even a mother one day. Without the war, she wouldn't have discovered her monstrous abilities and the men wouldn't have been so wary of her. She could have found a husband - a  _proper_  husband - and had Tribe children with blue eyes and dark hair and the strength of the water in their veins.

Her father would have been a grandfather. Her mother, a grandmother.

"It's one of the reasons why I left, you know," she says, staring into the fire because she doesn't want to look at him just yet. "They're all dying for something they think is real when it isn't. The world we -  _I_ \- wanted...it was only a dream."

Zuko's hands are steady when he hands her the bottle but his voice shakes when he speaks. "What's so wrong with dying for a dream?"

Katara cackles and swallows down the firewhiskey. " _Everything._  A dream isn't real. It can  _never_  be real - That's why it's a  _dream_." She shakes her head miserably, hands trembling where she holds the bottle and Zuko tentatively reaches forward, slow and unsure like he doesn't know what he's doing.

 _Yes._  Touch me, she thinks - wishes, dreams, hopes. But, much like her past dreams, he withdraws, settling back into the sand with reddened cheeks and an averted gaze.

She exhales, blinking back against the water that brims her eyes and looks out to the ocean. She feels a slight pull of her element, a tightness in her veins that points her towards it, but...she doesn't feel the need to run and join the sea.

Katara isn't sure what she feels.

Clearing her throat, she shifts, tearing her gaze away from the waters and into the fire. "I used to dream  _so hard_  about a family of my own and a safe home. I dreamed for  _so long_  that we would win this war somehow and everything would be okay."

The firebender shifts and his voice is gentle when he asks, "And you regret that?"

"I do." She nods her head. When she looks to Zuko, his eyes are sad. "I regret it because it made me long for something that was  _never_  going to come. It made me so  _hungry_  for change that I was willing to do whatever it took to get it. It made me bitter. Angry. I think I've always known I would never get what I dreamed of."

Katara drinks again. And again. If Zuko's concerned, he doesn't say anything. If he's annoyed that she's drinking most of the firewhiskey, he's silent. He's letting her drink, letting her  _talk._  And she doesn't know if she's so grateful for that…

She tastes more firewhiskey, welcoming the numbness that's settling in her cheeks and her lips.  _Good._  Maybe the numbness will spread throughout her, make her forget everything so that she can face the morning sun.

"I used to dream about my father loving me," Zuko admits. Katara blinks in surprise, looking at him - the scar - and now it's him that's staring into the embers. He's talked about Ozai before. About Azula and his scar. War meetings and sacrifices that Zuko wasn't willing to make but others were.

"I know what you're thinking." He laughs, something tight and controlled and she knows it isn't because this is humorous, "how could I dream of him loving me when he did...all of those things to me? But that's not the only pathetic thing about it, I guess. I mean, what kind of  _son_  has to  _dream_  of his father  _loving_   _him_?"

She wants to reach out and soothe the furrow in his brow. But like him before, she doesn't.

"I thought that if I managed to get my hands on the Avatar that everything would be okay. That I'd be able to come back home and I'd  _finally_  earn my birthright back. But really...I don't think it would have happened. He would have found  _some_  way to get rid of me again. Maybe even permanently. He didn't seem too concerned when Zhao declared me dead. There wasn't even a  _body_  but it still went uncontested."

His eyes flash up to hers and they're filled with so much... _anger_  that it takes her aback.

"He would have killed me the night he gave me this scar if it hadn't been for my uncle. If Uncle Iroh hadn't stepped in...he would have killed me. But I  _still_  - " He huffs then, breaks off and pushes his hands through his head as he lowers it, resting his elbows on his knees and his shoulders slump down.  _Heavy._  "And I don't eve know where he  _is_  or if he's even  _alive_. I couldn't protect him like he did for me."

She sets the near-empty flask into the sand and slides over to him, swaying a bit on her knees and even though her mind feels a bit foggy she knows exactly what to do. She presses her cooled palms to his heated hands, cradles her touch against his temple with her thumbs brushing his cheeks. Softly, she lifts him up, stares right into his eyes.

"That wasn't your fault," she tells him, voice firm but soft. "Blame  _me_  for that, not yourself. You had  _no choice_ , Zuko. No choice at all."

He swallows and something guilty touches his eyes. She sees it before he thinks to hide it but she doesn't  _want_  him to. She deserves this, doesn't she?

"I do blame you," he admits, voice soft and pained and it seems as if just telling her this is causing a lot of pain - like he's worried what she'll  _do_  or  _say_  but damn it, she doesn't  _want_ him to be scared of her. "And I'm not sure if I can ever forgive you for that."

"It's okay, Zuko," she says, "I understand." And she does. More than anything.

Back at the camp - when Zuko was going to give up but she  _demanded_  that he push through - she saw a glimpse of his self-hated. She saw a boy who had tried to hard to earn the love of his damn  _father_  -  _his_   _own father_  - and had failed. And back then, he had looked every inch of that failure for a moment before she pulled him back to surface.

Katara never wants to see that again. If it means taking the blame for Iroh's situation, then fine. She'll take it. What's one more sin in the scheme of things? Her soul - her spirit - is already so black a bit more can't hurt.

She grimaces at the thought.

"I wonder if he knew? I wonder if he always knew where Lu Ten was and who he was allied with?  _You_  - you had to know, right?" Zuko looks at her, "Of course you knew. Not that it matters but…"

"He never asked me about him," Katara answers and he blinks at her in confusion. "When I talked to your uncle on the ship, he never asked me about Lu Ten. Iroh had to know he was  _alive_  but he just didn't know…"

"That his son was helping bring down Fire Nation ships," Zuko finishes, a sour twist on his lips. "Guess he felt he might as well become a traitor if he was going to be labeled as one."

" _Zuko_  - "

" - No,  _no,_ " he waves her off a bit, shakes his head where she cradles it. "I know. I'm no better. Not now, anyways. Not after being on that ship and blocking fire with fire. Technically, I'm a traitor now." He blinks, looks at her and his grin only has the fire of anger. "Remember when I said I didn't want to end up like Lu Ten? Ironic, isn't it?"

Katara bites her lip because she isn't too sure what she's supposed to say to that.

Instead of speaking, she tries to gather her thoughts and finds her eyes drifting from his to the tattered collar of his black tunic. He's washed it, she notices. But it still smells of smoke and ash and it's burned in places.

Her hands still cup his hands, holding his head high so that she can look at them and she snaps hers up to his.

_He's watching her._

Palms warm, she gingerly stretches out her thumbs, brushes them against the flesh of his cheek. The skin beneath her right hand is smooth; skin beneath her left, coarse.

Zuko slides his hands away from hers, letting her cup his face in her palms completely and his reach out to touch  _hers_. And now they're here, her kneeling in the sand before him. Both touching the other and she can't  _breathe._

 _Katara is touching his scar._  All of it. Even though she's looking into his eyes, she  _knows_  that her dark skin is covering the red. She's covering  _his_  red. His pain. His mark. The shame that belongs to his father, not to him.

But she's not just hiding it. She's acknowledging it, accepting  _him_. All of him. His pain, his past, his hurt. Katara does not know everything about him but she  _does_  know that he's stronger than anyone she's ever known. And this scar, this mottled, red skin beneath her dark palm, helped him become the man she cares about.

The man that she risked - and would  _continue_  to risk - her life for. The man who had rescued her time and time again, both in body and in  _spirit._

The man that she decided to change her future for. The man that...she would spend the rest of her life on this beach with if he asked.

"He did what he had to do. Just as you did," she finally utters, finding her voice but it's no more than a breath between them.

 _Everything has changed._  The last time she was on a beach with the firebender, she wanted to kill him. Lock him away and use him as a hostage.

Now she wants to do something  _far_  different.

They've both been through so much. So,  _so_ much. Everything about their pasts is  _gone_  except for the other and the scars they both wear. That's it. That's all they have to remind them of where they came from and where they're going.

They have no one left in this world but each other.

"Just as  _you_  did," he speaks, tightening his fingers against her jaw. The look in his eyes...it's so open and  _forgiving_ of everything she's done in her life that she can barely take it. He knows the monster inside her but he doesn't  _care_.

 _He's accepting her._  All of her.

And that's all it takes for her to lean forward and rest her head against his shoulder, burying herself in his tunic and she  _breathes_  and  _chokes_  and then she's sobbing and he's  _holding_  her so tightly that it almost hurts but she needs this…she  _needs_  it.

She twists her fingers into his hair and tries to press herself into him so deeply - she wants to be a part of him - and he slides off of his seat to kneel before her, wrapping his arms around her body and pulls her even more into him.

Sobs rack her body and she doesn't even know  _why_  she's crying but she's just so glad that it's all coming out now. Fat, hot wet tears that seem to evaporate against her cheeks and her lips burn with the salt. Katara clutches at him - a waterbender seeking refuge from fire while drowning.

"It's okay, Katara," he whispers into her hair, pulls her tight into his chest. "It's okay."

-/-

She told him everything. Bolded by the firewhiskey and Zuko's arms around her, she spoke of every last sin.

Katara spoke of the first time she bloodbent. Hama had been trying to teach her the technique for weeks. But, when she was thirteen, she managed to do it...on Aang while helping him with waterbending forms.

Hama had been pleased. Pakku, angry. Her father and brother disgusted.

The Northerners...gleeful. Another weapon. One more tool to use against the firebenders that charred the tribesmen's flesh.

Katara told him of how she would interrogate the prisoners - not all of them from Fire. Men, but some women. She reached inside them, gripped at the blood in their veins and watched with a waterbender's coldness as they trembled and quaked before her, finally giving the Water Tribe Captains what they wanted.

The first prisoner had died because she pulled too hard. The second lost an arm. By the third, she perfected the technique.

When she told that story, she threw up in the bushes, remembering the twisted limbs and the panic in their eyes. Zuko soothed her hair, his hand trembling and he handed her a bit of water but she pushed it away. What right did she have to her element after everything she had done?

He didn't ask her if she wanted to stop. So, she kept going.

She told him how on the nights when she interrogated, she couldn't sleep. She'd crawl out onto the deck and wait for the sun because the moon seemed to mock her. No matter how much she loved it, the moon hated her on those nights. It hid behind clouds and offered her little comfort.

Not that she blamed it. Katara was the one that had used such a pure power for something so evil.

Katara spoke of Aang. His guarded eyes but his gentle arms, always open to her despite what she  _was_. How when they were together, they'd both cry themselves to sleep before finally falling asleep; his hands in her air and her arms around his chest.

She told him of how one night, they wanted her to squeeze the blood of a child. Zuko had stiffened at that story, but she quickly assured him that she hadn't touched him.

Hama had. But Katara watched.

She told him of how her father could barely stand to look at her some nights. Of how Sokka kept secrets of war plans because it was  _a man's business._  It didn't matter she was giving her  _soul_  for them. What did a woman's sacrifice mean in the scheme of things?

Even her mother...even her mother had given her life for a daughter that would become a twisted weapon.

Katara spoke of Sangok. How he hadn't been so bad once; of how they had comforted each other when no one else was there. She cared for him once, she admitted, but they never loved each other. He would never make a Southern Witch his bride and she could never forgive him for that.

She told him of raids on Fire Camps. How she would slaughter men that offered surrender because the tribesmen didn't take just  _any_  firebender prisoner. She told of how she  _liked_  the power in her veins on a full moon. Of Hama's grin when she realized Katara thirsted and thirsted for more.

Katara told him of the pangs she would feel when tribesmen gave her wide berths and the downcast eyes from the women.

She explained how they managed to hide the Air Nomad genocide from Aang until he turned fourteen. He discovered it when he lost patience with the Tribesmen and went to see his people for himself, saw the burned temples and the blackened bones.

He went into the Avatar State out of rage and destroyed two ships. Katara managed to calm him down. Since then, he hadn't been able to enter the State again.

She swallowed when she recounted how some of the Captains considered killing Aang. He couldn't  _be_  a proper Avatar, so what was the point of having him? The new Avatar would be a tribesman and wouldn't  _that_ be convenient?

Her father had refused it. So had Hahn and Sokka, saving Aang's life. Katara didn't mention that Lu Ten was one of the delegates that supported Aang's death.

She told him of how she had killed the firebender below his ship by strangling him with the other's blood. Of how, on the night that she bloodbent him in the inn, she felt the first taste of regret about taking him along.

His hand tightened around her shoulder but he didn't comment.

It was his turn.

He told of her how Azula had always been the best, Ozai's favorite. While he had the adoration of his mother. Even then, at seven, he understood that there was a difference between he and Azula. Over time, he realized his sister probably resented him for having their mother's love just as he had felt towards her about having their father's.

Zuko told her of the night his mother disappeared. She had come into his room, hugged him tightly and told him to remember their time together - to not think too much about what people would say once she left. He knew then and there that this would be the last time he ever saw her. Zuko had begged to be taken, too. But she refused, said that it wouldn't be safe and someone had to watch out for Azula.

He hadn't realized what that meant then.

Zuko was told that his mother murdered Azulon but he knew there was more to the story. Ozai was far too pleased, his smile to wide for a man who had lost his father  _and_  his wife all in one night.

She had been executed, her body burned and ashes buried in a cave, away from the sun's light. The ultimate punishment. Zuko hadn't been allowed to see the execution nor the body. No one but Ozai had.

Zuko told her how he still dreams of her being alive.

Azula and he used to be close, he admitted. Then Azula became more skilled, earned their grandfather's love, too, and Zuko became jealous. She didn't like it when Mai started paying attention to him either.

He told her of how much Azula reminded him of Ozai. How her bending was wild, almost uncontrollable, despite her skill. She liked to trick servants and laughed when they got in trouble. And even with her caretakers watching, Azula would harass and cruelly tease those bound to silence.

He recounted the first time he met Zhao. The older man had praised Azula's forms and bending while shaming Zuko's, a major slight against the future prince that no one seemed to care about. Slowly but surely, he was becoming forgotten. But when he  _was_  remembered, it only brought humiliation.

Azula's voice was sickly sweet when she told him to have safe travels the night he was banished from the Fire Nation. It was the first time they had spoken in months and the last time he had heard her voice.

Traveling with Uncle Iroh was fun at times, annoying at others. While Zuko was determined to earn back his people's respect and his throne -  _and ultimately, his father's love_  - his Uncle only had interest in visiting each and every island they passed.

The further he traveled from the Fire Nation, the more Earth Kingdom slave ships he burned. The closer he sailed North, the more Water Tribe ships he captured and the more prisoners he turned over to the prisons.

 _He_  hadn't tortured them, he admitted. But what comfort was that? Everyone knew what happened to benders and rebels in those prisons. He would have done them a favor if he had just killed them.

Knowing where he was sending them made him restless. Hearing their cries made  _him_  cry. His mother wouldn't like what he was doing. Uncle Iroh certainly didn't.

But if Zuko burned the most ships, captured the most prisoners, maybe his father would see… maybe he would  _realize_  Zuko just wanted the love and support of his people.

Zuko blushed when he told her about his first lover, Mai. The young woman that had adored him for years and his sister's close friend. Her father was an Earth King governor and craved Iroh's tea more than anything. The relationship lasted a little over a year in secret. Then Mai was betrothed to a Fire Nation nobleman and Zuko hadn't seen her since.

Zuko paused then, as if wondering he had said too much but Katara had just smiled, urged him to keep going. If he was going to expose the darkest times in his life, why not the times when he experienced bliss?

He had other lover, too. Jee, a sweet Earth Kingdom girl with warm eyes and soft hands. Liah, a brothel worker when he happened to drink far too much one night when out with his crew. A girl whose name he couldn't remember but whose lips he couldn't forget.

Zuko told her of how he first came into contact with Lee. Zuko had started sticking close by Zhao's ship once he learned he was looking for the Avatar, too. When Zhao made port to re-stock, Zuko had done the same and Lee happened upon his Uncle in the streets. A deal was stuck and honored. Lee proved to be a capable spy, as Katara had noted a long time ago.

He told her of the night Zhao struggled against a Water Tribe ship. Zuko managed to help him just in time and together, they trapped the tribesmen in a bay. When Zuko moved to board it, Zhao stopped him.

He had each and every Tribesman burned. No one was taken hostage. There were no prisoners. Only the sweet smell of burning flesh and a smoke column that towered high in the sky and almost blocked out the sun.

Zuko had done  _nothing_. Said _nothing._  He forced himself to watch, glared at Zhao's smirk and ignored Iroh's frown.

One week later and word got to him that Zhao had captured a powerful waterbender. One of the few women to be fighting with the Tribesmen and easily recognizable as one who was sighted with the Avatar.

They were both so quiet then. Tired, aching from the uncomfortable position in the sand and the firewhiskey lulling them into sleep.

Katara had turned over, rested her head on his chest and cupped his cheek, brushed her thumb over his scar and wrapped his hair around her fingers. Zuko curled his arm around her back, traced patterns around her elbow with his nails.

They don't know what to say - who  _does_  after baring souls?

So, they say nothing. Eyes shut and their breaths taper into a nice rhythm. At some point, a brush of hands leads to entwined fingers.

-/-

The firebender is awake behind her, stirred by the sun and the call of his element but he doesn't move. She doesn't either.

It's comfortable, lying across his chest with his arms around her, holding her tightly like she's going to move any moment and he doesn't want her to. She tightens her arms, scotts closer to him so that she's curled  _just so_  around his waist and hips and chest and shoulders, tucks her head more comfortably underneath his neck and breathes out as he breathes in.

Zuko's hand flexes where it cups the curve of her shoulder, squeezes a bit as he tugs her in. His warm breath whispers against her hair and she smells coals and firewhiskey. He's nice, solid and warm beneath her and she wonders how she feels pressed up to him like this.

"I was sure you would have left by now," she whispers, half because she isn't sure if she  _should_  talk about what they said last night and half because it's  _true._  After everything… he really  _shouldn't_ be here, underneath her. Cradling her like she's something precious and pure. "I was a little afraid to wake up."

"You don't have to worry about that." Zuko slides his hand down her arm, traces a lazy pattern around her elbow with his nail and then grips her tightly again. "I won't leave you."

How many people have made that promise and have actually kept it?

Katara thinks Zuko just might.

"Good." She grips the fabric of his tunic, nuzzles against his chest and lets her eyes slide closed again. "I don't want you to."

-/-

"We can't exactly lay here forever."

"Why not?"

"Well, for one, I'm starving."

"And? What do you want me to do about it?"

A pause. "Well, you're the hunter, aren't you?"

"Oh,  _Spirits_. Am I going to have to do all of that again?"

"It would be nice. We can't just eat jerky all of the time." Zuko moves a bit underneath her and Katara grumbles. "I checked the bag while you were asleep yesterday and Lu Ten  _did_  pack us a few coins."

She rolls onto her stomach and props her chin up on her hand, still sprawling out across his chest and blinks at him. "Your point being...?"

"That we can get some real food. Maybe even some kind of shelter, too." Zuko says, nodding to the dark cloud over the ocean that's been inching it's way to the shore since the sun came up.

"Look at you!" She grins, teasing. "Maybe you have learned something after all."

Zuko narrows his eyes but even he can't stop a little smile. A lot of tension from yesterday is gone. Now that they've...cleared their conscious, so to speak, everything seems...better. Like  _they're_  better.

Katara doesn't think she's smiled so easily in a long, long time.

Even though she'd rather do nothing than lay here with the sand and Zuko beneath her, she knows he's right. And the hunger gnawing at her stomach isn't doing anything to help, either.

So, with a groan, she rolls over and shifts up, reaching down to brush the sand from her tunic and leggings while Zuko manages to push himself upright, too. "I don't think the map is going to do us much good," she comments. "Unless you happen to know where we are?"

He gives her a look. " _Of_   _course_  I do. Because I've always been so good with directions and the like."

"Worth a try," she shrugs. Taking her hair out of it's braid, she sets about combing her fingers through the knots before tying it back up, looking towards the sky to see how much time they have. It's about midday. Storm may be...two, three hours away?

Katara rolls up their pallets and straps them to the pack. Zuko takes it, douses the remains of their fire and covers it up with sand and a few banana leaves.

"Any idea on how to find a village?" He asks.

The waterbender looks to the east. Then to the west.  _Nothing_. She backs up towards the shore to see if she can spot smoke like she didn't last time.

She can't spot smoke but she can tell that the sand on the east curves in because there isn't a straight line of sand like there is on the west.

_A bay?_

And where there's a bay...there's probably a fishing village.

It's a wild shot but she's pretty sure there will be a village down there. "Maybe east?" She looks back to Zuko. "Got any other ideas?"

"I'm following you." He hikes the pack over on both shoulders and starts walking where she pointed.

 _No_ , she thinks,  _I'm pretty sure I'm following you._  And then she steps off after him, quickening so that she can fall into step right beside him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the continued support!


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry about the long wait! I was going to edit and post this tomorrow but I figured you guys deserved an update since you have all been so wonderful. Please keep in mind that this is highly unedited!
> 
> Also, I'm really sorry for this chapter.

Katara is sure that the villagers on the outskirts of the bay will give them weird looks when they go into town. A firebender with a scar and a waterbender woman, both looking as if they've seen and destroyed the world together, walking side by side rather than trying to leap at the other's throat.

But, no. It's like with the village with the inn all those weeks ago…no one seems to care. And that's when Katara lets herself relax, lets her fingers unclench at her sides as her knuckles brush against Zuko's.

They had walked in silence, mostly; but even then, Katara knows there is a difference. There's a spring in her step, an anticipation moving her forward that she can't quite figure out but  _loves._ She remembers how she  _felt_  when she woke to him still underneath her, not a thousand miles away like she expected.

For the first time in a while, she had felt safe. She  _feels_ safe. Light.

Free.

It's all coming together. Before, she didn't know if she would live to see the next day, let alone spend the rest of her life with another person. And even then, she knew her options in that were limited because of what she had  _done_ —what she  _was_. Like with Sangok…who would want her? Scars, blood and all?

But Zuko  _does._  He's here, standing and walking beside her like she's his  _equal_. Like she means something to him and she knows that's true because he's  _here_  and not  _there_ , miles and miles away from her.

When their fingers touch because they're walking so close together, he doesn't flinch away. When she looks over at him and he catches her eye, there's a glimmer, a smile playing on the corners of his lips like he has that same freedom bolstering his step.

Zuko wants to be here. She's sure of it. He wants to be here, with her. Even though they don't have the slightest idea of what they're going to do... he's  _here_.

And that makes this all the better.

This is a journey she  _wants_.

She wants to walk with Zuko to the edges of the Earth if it means they get to make a life together. It doesn't even matter what kind of life...just a life  _together_  where they can just  _be_.

But…Katara can't deny that she wouldn't mind  _more._  She knew what she felt last night…knew how she felt this morning… _thinks_  she knows how he feels. The fire in his eyes hadn't been from just his blood, she likes to think, though she could be wrong. Spirits know it wouldn't be the first time.

And he had to stay for some reason…right? Sure, he has to depend on her because  _admittedly_ , the Prince doesn't really know how to do anything but…well, be a Prince. She stifles a giggle at the thought and earns a bemused look from Zuko, as if he knows very well what she's thinking.

He shakes his head, smiles like he can't help it either, and bumps her shoulder with his.

 _Yes_ , she thinks, glancing back to the village. He has to feel something, too. All of this couldn't have been just for survival. His support, his actions on the boat before they left…it was all for  _her._

And she wants to give him as much as he's given her— _hopes_  that she can. But how?

The waterbender in her wants to move her limbs like a river, slow and enticing and inviting. Being a waterbender isn't just about the violence, after all. Water gives life just as much as it gives death. Now that she's turn from the death… she wants the life.

Katara wonders what a firebender tastes like.

She blushes at the thought, cheeks warming despite the fact that she's by no means a girl. No, she's been a woman for years. So why does her skin flush when she catches a glimpse of his jaw? the sharp, thin bones of this face and the fine bridge of his nose? the leanness of his body and the dark of his hair against the paleness of his skin?

Would he even want that from her? If she offered it, would he take it?

"Do you think there will be an inn?" Zuko asks, yanking her out of her thoughts and nearly causing her to jump. She darts her eyes away, acting as if she hadn't been watching him, shrugs her shoulders as she glances over the straw-thatched huts.

"Surely there is. If not then…Guess we'll wait the storm out in a tavern?"

"Plan on getting drunk? Sure you can handle the liquor?"

Katara raises a brow. "Your firewhiskey hardly counts. That was  _poison_. Maybe this town will have some good Water Tribe drinks. You could use strong ale to buff you up," she says, reaching over to pat his stomach with the back of her hand.

He grunts. "Big talk from someone who was drunk in no time last night."

"Oh, just you wait."

"Looking forward to it."

The village isn't too big but it's not small, either. There are several wooden docks built towards the sea and two small merchant's ships docked. All of the buildings are tiny huts, some clearly homes while others closer to the beaches look different and are better kept.

A man in Fire Nation robes strides past and Zuko turns his cheek away, staring straight at Katara. His shoulders stiffen but the other makes no move to say anything or stop them. He breezes by, heading to what looks like the center of the village.

Katara reaches a hand out and Zuko takes it, palm warm against her cooled one.

"It's okay," she assures him, nods to where the man is going, "we should follow him. He's clearly an outsider."

The firebender nods and tightens his hold on her hand as she pulls him through the dirt path after the man. they pass several huts, heading towards the village center next to the docks. The man veers left and to a building, one of the few in the area, and Katara pauses before she follows him up the steps and through the door.

An inn and tavern. Ironic.  _Handy._

"See?" She breathes with a smile, looking over her shoulder at him. "It's okay."

Zuko pulls the bag off his shoulder and digs around a bit before handing her the coin purse. She takes it and tucks it into the pocket of her tunic, walking up to the counter where a broad-shouldered woman stands wiping down the counter.

"One room." Katara states, not questions. Pauses—beds? Would he want to share a bed? Katara swallows. "Two beds."

The woman doesn't stop wiping as she looks up at Katara, glances over her dirtied face and hair, torn and burned tunic. Then, they eyes flicker behind her to Zuko and the way they trail let Katara know she's giving him a once-over too.

She straightens. "Trouble following you?"

 _Perhaps._  "We weren't followed."

The woman narrows her eyes, looks back to Zuko and then to Katara. "How many nights?"

"Three, at least." They need time to rest, to bathe and get new clothes, figure out where to go from here. Three days should do that. "Two beds."

"You said that already," she points out. The woman casts her eyes back down, runs the rag across the countertop. "Ten coppers'll get you three nights with two beds. Fifteen'll get you three nights, two beds, breakfast and fresh water."

Katara counts out fifteen coppers and lays them on the counter in front of the woman, turns her palm up for a key. In a moment, she's curling her fingers around one and stepping back, nodding to the keeper.

"At the first sign of trouble, you two better split. If my place gets burned, I'm taking it out on your hides, I don't care who's following you." The woman swipes the coppers of the counter and into her pocket. "If you go down to Crass' booth down at the market, he'll get you some fresh tunics. Tell 'im Oma sent you."

Katara inclines her head. "Thank you. There won't be any trouble."

A terse nod. "Better not be. Last door on the left. Water will be there soon."

Zuko starts for the hall immediately and Katara follows, skirting around a table of farmers and she spots the man in the Fire Nation clothes in the back corner. He hasn't looked their way yet.

Relaxed, Katara quickens and follows after Zuko faster. When they reach the end of the hall, she makes quick work of unlocking the door and stepping inside the room. She checks to make sure there are two beds— _there are_ —and steps out of Zuko's way so he can close the door behind them.

"Well…" She trails off, glancing around the small room, "This is home, for now."

Zuko shifts. "Home," he says, the word a bit awkward on his tongue and she looks over at him. "Two beds?"

She blinks. "I…wasn't sure…? I mean, I just thought that…you'd like your own, or something."

"It doesn't really matter. After everything we've been through, I could honestly care less about sleeping arrangements." He steps towards one and tosses the shoulder bag onto it. "I mean, we've slept on forest floors. I've been chained  _to_ a bed."

"I've slept in a tree, on a rock. Ice, even. Before I met you, of course. And don't forget a cell floor."

"Ice?" He asks, brow furrowing and she wonders if they're both just wanting to avoid talking about the  _other_ places they mentioned.

Katara just looks at him. "Where do you think I was raised, Zuko?"

"I  _know_  that, but ice? Seriously?"

"Yes," she nods her head and suppresses a laugh. "Ice and snow, that's pretty much all there is down in the poles."

Zuko shakes his head. "I just can't imagine how anyone would be able to sleep in ice and snow. Wouldn't you get cold or sick or  _die_?"

"Waterbender, remember?"

"Oh." He blinks. "I didn't know it worked like that for you, too. So you're pretty oblivious to cold?"

She shrugs. "Sometimes. I can still be cold but it takes a lot for me to really feel it. Sort of makes sense, you know, dealing with ice and water and stuff like that. Don't firebenders have the same?"

He nods. "Just didn't think about it, I suppose." Zuko looks to the door then back to her. "This is— _uh—_ a little….weird isn't it?"

Katara waits for him to explain, a little unsure as to where he's going with this.

"Talking normally, I mean," he clarifies. "I don't think we've ever just… _talked_  before. " He ruffles his hair, sighs, and looks to her like he hopes that she'll agree.

She does. Smiling a bit, she sits down on the opposite bed and brings her knees up to her chest. "I don't think I've talked normally with anyone in a while."

He smiles, wry and loose on his lips and the scar around his eye crumples. "Looks like we'll have to learn together."

_Together._

There's that word again and he's the one that's said it. She grins, something warm settling in her stomach.

"Together," she repeats and she swears something flashes in his eyes.

 _Together._  Katara likes that.

-/-

Katara thought holding a blade of ice up to an enemy's throat was alive, that the heat of blood underneath a cold grip was living. That the sound of a dying heartbeat was more than enough to keep her going while the beats of her fellow warriors gave her strength.

She's believed for so long that killing meant living. Because an enemy was dead, she was alive. Fueled with the strength of ice and the moon, she could drown out an uncontrollable fire and restore the balance with just a flick of her wrist and a twist of her fingers.

Oh, how  _wrong_  she was.

She never has been more alive in her life than now.

-/-

They do learn how to be normal. It's a slow process but one that is enjoyed equally.

With the money from Lu Ten, Katara is able to secure a small, two-room hut on the outskirts of the village. Zuko sleeps in the communal room while Katara stays in the tiny bedroom. It isn't much, but neither one wants more than that.

Oma proves more helpful than anyone Katara knows. After the woman seems to agree that the two are not bringing trouble, she takes Katara on as a cleaner, then a waitress. Zuko works outside the inn with Oma's husband, a waif of a man with a jagged scar from an encounter with an armadillo lion.

They tell everyone they're a couple when asked and the blushes on their cheeks make everyone believe they're newlyweds. But they sleep in different beds, make no move to be anything more than what they are.

There are times, though. When Katara drinks too much and her eyes linger too long on his hands. Or when Zuko manages to catch a glimpse of her after her swims, long, wet hair and glistening skin more than enough to make him swallow thickly and look away.

She'll never admit it, but Katara  _tries_  to make sure she's caught on those days.

Zuko buys furs and meats for their table and home. Katara sews them blankets, mittens in preparation for the winter since she isn't sure how it is here, basket covers and rugs to warm up their little hut. With the fabric from the booths in the market, she makes them tunics and leggings, a curtain for Zuko's corner in the living room so he can have privacy.

At nights, the hut will be filled with scents from her cooking. Her steamed meat and vegetables. Little wooden bowls of roasted nuts on the table. Zuko will light a fire and offer to help, but he's mostly restricted to cutting and dicing because he always burns the meat.

They eat. Talk about their day. Sit together and just enjoy each other's company. It's quiet. Peaceful. So different from the ships they're both forgetting about.

_Normal._

As the weeks pass, Katara and Zuko meet the villagers—a young woman, Irrih, with bright eyes and a gentle smile; Korok, a young man whose mother was a Northern tribeswoman; Paza, an older woman that runs the fruit stall and who bears fire scars on her hands and gives Zuko the ripest oranges when he goes by.

Katara likes it here, in this kitchen and in this home. Meat that she hunted down and wood in the fireplace that Zuko gathered. She likes her rugs on the floor and the table Zuko built by himself, one that he was exceptionally proud of despite the fact that two of the legs were too short and it wobbled terribly before he slid a little block under both of them.

She likes that the wall behind her stove is blackened with soot. That she has a room and a tiny bed covered with the pelt from Zuko's first kill.

Katara likes that Zuko doesn't duck his head anymore when he goes into town.

What she doesn't like are the reminders—of the look on Zuko's face one night when she was changing out of her wraps and he happened to see the scars on her back. As she wrapped her arms around her chest, he had stepped closer. Reaching out, he touched the mottled flesh, felt the bumps and ridges and she hated that she couldn't feel him there.

" _I'm sorry_ ," he had said, as if it was his fault.

She doesn't like the moments when she flicks her fingers out of habit and Zuko flinches. Hates it when he smiles apologetically and turns his back to her.

She doesn't like anything that reminds them of the pain they wanted to leave behind.

Katara thought she left all of those on the beach—that they  _both_  did when they decided to pour everything out. That was the reason for this new life, wasn't it? That was why they were  _here_ , settled in this tiny fishing village on an eastern bay in the Earth Kingdom.

They were  _here._  The rest of the world that they wanted no part in, that was out  _there._

But the two would slide together, time and time again in short instances. Instances that were minute but spoke volumes by themselves and made her doubt if they ever  _could_  live a normal life. Despite their friendships, their house and their jobs…they had no roots here.

It was home but…was it really? Would they ever truly have a home?

Did they even deserve one?

-/-

"I'm not sure if she even plans on getting married," Irrih sighs wistfully, rolling a glass along her palms. "She's always saying how she isn't the marrying  _type_  but…I'm not sure. She's made comments and I  _think_  she loves me. What do you think?"

Katara shrugs and tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear. Her forehead is sticky with sweat despite the windows of the Inn being wide open and a breeze flowing in. Spirits, she can't wait for Autumn to come.

"That depends on what kinds of comments she's made."

"Well, things about children or musing about settling down. I just want to know if that will be with  _me_. Since we couldn't…well…you know. Make any."

"Does it really matter?" Katara takes the glass from Irrih's hand and wipes the rim again before putting it away underneath the counter. "You could always adopt."

"But would she be okay with that?"

"I don't know, Irrih, you'll have to ask her. I can't really answer for someone."

Irrih frowns. "Well, what about you and Jin?"

Her hands pause. "What about us?"

"When did you decide that you were ready for marriage? It seems like such a difficult thing to decide, you know? I mean, I still have my shop and I would still like to go to Ba Sing Se at least once before I have children. And I know Kiyih wants to keep sailing."

Katara swallows, stands. "I'm not sure. We just…decided I suppose. I don't really remember thinking much about it."

"So you just…knew? Like that?" Irrih asks, a bit confused.

"I guess so," she shrugs, "but that's why I think you should talk to Kiyih about it. Not me. Can you hand me that bowl?"

Irrih passes her a wooden dish and hops down from the counter. "That's weird You two look like you would have some really cute story to tell about how you came together. You know, Water Tribe and Fire Nation heritage coming together." She bumps Katara's shoulder and grins. "It's something from stories."

"I'd prefer to talk about you and Kiyih."

"Now that's unfair. You never talk about Jin like that."

Katara smiles as gently as she can, focusing even more on the bowl. "That's because there isn't much to talk about."

" _Kya_."

"Irrih."

"Why don't you ever talk about it?' Irrih asks, a plea in her voice. Then pauses while Katara puts the bowl away. "Wait, you never talk about anything. Why don't you?"

Katara mulls over an answer, tries to push down the panic that speeds through her body, and says, "There isn't much to tell. I've never really done anything of note."

Irrih just looks at her and raises a brow. "Everyone's done something  _of note_. Seriously, why won't you tell me? Or anyone? Why doesn't  _Jin_  talk, at least? Both of you are so quiet."

"I can't really speak for him in that. Honestly, though, Irrrih. It's not a big deal." She shakes her head.

"You know I'm never going to stop asking you about your life before you came here, right?" Irrih asks.

Katara sighs, nods because if there's one thing she's learned, it's that Irrih likes  _knowing_  things. She's managed to go weeks without outright lying to her and hopes that she can keep it that way for a bit longer. At least, for a few more days, when she and Zuko can agree to some kind of story that's just  _right._

"What are you two jabbering about?" Oma demands when she walks in, setting empty tankards on the counter in front of Katara. "I don't pay you to gossip. There's a customer of yours that needs a refill, Irrih."

Irrih huffs and hops down from the counter. "Yes, mother. Hey, has Oma demands when she walks in, setting empty tankards on the counter in front of Katara. "I don't pay you to gossip. There's a customer of yours that needs a refill, Irrih."

Irrih huffs and hops down from the counter. "We were just talking about Kya and Jin have been here for weeks and yet they still won't spill about anything before they came here."

Oma glances at Katara briefly, probably thinking back to the first day when Katara and Zuko came in the Inn, tattered and assuring her that no one had followed them. "People's business is their own, Irrih. You'd do well to stop prying."

"I'm not  _prying_ , Mother. I just want to  _know_." Irrih pokes Katara. "And  _certain people_  are being mighty secretive."

"Just go get your customer their refill or else I'll send you out back."

Irrih rolls her eyes. "We're not done with this conversation, Kya. I'm getting tired of talking about Kiyih!"

When the young woman walks away, Oma looks at Katara but says nothing for a bit, sliding around the counter and watching as Katara starts washing the dirty mugs. Katara knows she'll say  _something_  though—she may not be like her daughter, but Oma still likes to  _know_  things, even if she prefers it in the most basic of terms.

"If you wanted privacy, being my daughter's friend probably wasn't the best way to go," Oma says.

"It's fine." Katara shakes her head, smiles a bit. Yes, the questions make her bumble and sweat and become nervous but at least she's  _asking._  When was the last time anyone asked her about simple things like this? She can't remember a time when someone asked her about boys, girls, love and crushes, fabrics and new clothes and how their life was going.

It's nice. Wonderful, even. "Now that I've finished washing the dishes, is there anything else you need me to do before I leave?" Katara wiped her hands on her apron and began untying the strings, waiting for Oma's word.

"No, I'll just get Irrih to do the rest. Needs to pay off that loan for her shop somehow. You go on and tell that boy that Paco has it in his mind to build another huge project again so be prepared."

Katara nods, says her good-byes to the innwoman and Irrih, who breaks away from some man in red robes to give a distracted wave before she turns back to the customer, enthralled in a story he's telling.

Her's and Zuko's hut is a nice walk from the Inn, so she takes her time as she always does. It still kind of shocks her, how different it is here than it is back at home—wait,  _no_ , her  _old home_. Thinking that, she shivers a bit, as if she can feel the cold from the Ice instead of the warmth of an ocean breeze.

She's nearly home when she spots Zuko behind their little hut. The sleeves of his black tunic that she mended just the other day are rolled up, white skin shiny with sweat and she thinks about how funny it is that he's having more difficulty than she is when trying to adjust to the heat.

He's doing something with the wood he chopped from the forest yesterday, scraping long pieces down with a razor-thin edged knife Paco gave him after they first moved here.

Curious, she edges around their wooden hut and comes up behind him, watches a bit longer as he brushes the thin curls off of the log and then goes back to shaving it.

"What are you doing?" She startles him and he whips around, eyes wide and then guilty but then he covers it up with a tiny smile.

"I'm building something. For us—for our home."  _Our home_. "I was thinking I could try to make a chair now. Pack showed me how to start one yesterday and so I figured I'd attempt it on my own."

Katara smiles at him. "I think it'll be great, Zuko," she says. The grin on his lips spreads at the mention of his real name and she wonders if he, like her, misses it sometimes.

"We'll just see how it goes. It might be a complete failure."

"Like the time you tried to cook the coyfish?"

His cheeks darken. "I think we've known for a long time to never let me try to cook anything again. Especially when I can't even firebend. It's like how you can't draw water from the well anymore."

The last part is said a bit sadly and Katara thinks this conversation has taken a darker turn than they expected.

She blinks and looks away, down to the half-shaven wood. "Well, in that case I suppose I'll do the cooking tonight," she says and clears her throat. "Anything that'll save us from yours."

He bumps his shoulder against hers and Katara laughs, free and without worrying about having to hold it back.

_Free._

-/-

"You probably shouldn't cut them up so thin," Zuko points out, nodding to the strips of fish she has laid out. "The last time you did, they burned too quickly, remember?"

"Since when did you become such an expert?" Katara asks incredulously but cuts the next a bit thicker.

Zuko shrugs. "I'm just surprised you're not making me slice them."

"That's because you're supposed to be building a fire."

"Oh, really? Is that all I'm good for?"

"Seems that way."

"Well,  _fine_ ," he huffs but can't hide the little grin. "I'll just do the manly things from now on. Make the fire, build things—"

"Now that was all  _your_ idea!"

He scoffs and adds another piece of charcoal and a bit of the fluid he bought from Oma the other day that's supposed to make the flames appear faster. "It's times like this when I actually  _miss_  firebending," he comments as she puts the pan over the stove. "Never thought about how hard it was to actually  _build_  a fire until – "

The flames flash bright orange and yellow and Katara jumps back, a scream on her lips as a bit of it singes the sleeve of her tunic and her back hits the table, knocks over wooden bowls and the lettuce from the salad lands all over the floor. Her hands grasp onto the edge, breath fast and heavy as her widening eyes watch the fire.

She feels the burn despite it never having touched her, and all she can see is the steel of Zhao's ship. All she can feel is heat, scorching fire pouring into her back.  _No_.

Zuko shields her, back to her front and curses, bends the flames down until they're contained inside the stove. "I'm so sorry Katara, I didn't know it would –" He breaks off as he turns around, pulls her into his arms and she gasps, closes her eyes and buries her face into his shoulder. "It's all right, it's all right."

A hand soothes her hair and she breathes in—something that chokes her kind of like a sob but she's not crying.  _Get it together._ The fire is gone. Zuko's here and there isn't anything to worry about— _the fire is gone._

"It's all right," he says again, over and over with one hand in her hair and the other tight around her back.

Katara takes in a deep breath and even though Zuko's natural scent of smoke and ash doesn't necessarily help, him holding her and  _knowing_  that it's him calming her down makes the intake shaky more than choking.

"It's all right."

She wraps her arms around him, holds him tight and fists the back of his tunic. "I-I just—" She breaks off and Zuko nods before resting his chin on her head.

"It's okay. I understand, Katara." Sadness tinges his voice. "But everything's fine now. Everything's all right. It's just you and me. You and me."

Katara's trembling as she lifts her head up. Zuko's there,  _right there_ , and before she can even think, she does what she's been wanting to do for so long.

She finds out how a firebender tastes.

Zuko is frozen at first, but something about the way her lips catch his makes him melt into her and he returns it tenfold. The hand that grips her hair cups the back of her neck, brings her up and into him and the arm snaked across her waist draws Katara in.

It's steady, long and she can't breathe but she doesn't want to break away. The only things she can focus on is that he tastes like the sun and how warm he feels beneath her palms, even from beneath his tunic.

She whimpers, something light and feminine in the back of her throat and he groans, masculine and needy. Katara becomes more forceful, pushes her hips and chest against him.

When the hand in her hair leaves to grip her waist, she's disappointed, but the feeling disappears when he grasps her sides and lifts her onto his shaky table, the one that he's made for himself. Katara lets her knees slide apart and tugs him back into her because she wants nothing more than to feel his weight there, holding her down and steadying her in this moment.

Katara grasps his shoulders and arms as her lips lock around his, pulls his body into hers and it's like he's pushing his heat into her. She's all heated and fiery and the base of her stomach feels like molten lava. But she wants this— _Spirits,_ she wants this so much she can barely stand it.

He breaks away and she gasps for air. Zuko's eyes and nearly black with desire and she feels so powerful, knowing that he's just as weak to her as she is to him.

Katara snakes her hands up the sides of his neck, cups his cheeks, his scar, and then move up to tangle in his hair. She forces him back down, captures his bottom lip between hers and  _yes_ , she can't think of anything else but of how she's finally getting what she's wanted.

Zuko starts to take control and she lets him because the hands gripping her hips and tilting her pelvis into his command more of her attention now, and the way that he warms her lips with his harsh pants makes her forget her own name.

Her lungs burn with something other than his touch and she's forced to break away but his lips don't dare leave her skin. They trail across her cheeks, down her throat and she arches her back into him and tilts her head to the side, breathes out his name and is rewarded with renewed fervor.

"We—We should probably stop," he says against her neck, despite the steady kisses he rains on her flesh there. "Not right here, not now."

" _Please_ , Zuko." She twists his hair tighter between her fingers, ignores the way the table teeters against her weight now that he's practically bowed on top of her. "I want this—I want  _you._ "

 _That_  makes him pause, and she bites the inside of her cheek in protest when he straightens though his hands never leave the curve of her waist.

"How could you want me, Katara? After everything I've done to you," he asks, confused.

Katara looks up at him, cups her cheeks in her palms and makes  _sure_  that he's listening to her now. "Because you're the first person that's ever given me a choice in anything. Because despite knowing who I am and what I've done, you've stayed beside me. You're still  _here_ , Zuko, and that's why I want this. We've shared everything together. Let me share this with you."

He swallows, looks down where his hands are on her waist. "I want nothing more than to show you how appreciative I am of everything you've done for me. You've saved me so many times from so many different things that I will always be in your debt—"

"I don't  _want_  that—"

"—and you've changed me. I really can't even imagine where I'd be right now if it wasn't for you. I don't even know how to explain it right, I just—"

He kisses her again, long and slow and filled with so much of  _something_  that she's nearly scares her. It's so raw and real, just like how they both are.

"Then show me," she whispers. " _Show me_  how you feel."

-/-

Zuko shows her how he feels.

He lifts her from the table and sets her down, quickly douses the fire and her hands are everywhere—on his back, around his shoulders as her lips nibble on the curve of his neck. Then he's pulling her to her bedroom—in  _their_ hut—and they stumble, awkward and fumbling with colliding hips and shaking hands because they're going to  _do this_ —they're  _actually going to do this._

She lands on the bed, fingers quickly tugging at the hem of his tunic and he helps her by whipping it off, baring a torso littered with scars and tiny burns and she kisses them, tries to heal what he's gone through and he sighs, fingers tangling in her loose hair.

When he tugs her tunic off, she lies back for him and he runs his hand along every inch of her, touches each part of her with his lips, brushes his thumb along the etching he ridiculed so long ago. It isn't long before she's arching up into him, lifting her hips to meet his and he settles between them, panting heat across her flesh.

Zuko takes his time, something that both infuriates and excites Katara because it's  _him_. She wants him to hurry but in the same breath, she never wants this to end. She likes the way his hands tremble, the way he seems determined to figure out every little thing that will make her gasp.

Katara twists her hips and pushes him down, straddling his waist and feels him hard against the inside of her thigh. Her hands play with the waistband of his pants before she slips them underneath, grasps him hard and tight in her hand, bends to lick a stripe of his skin.

She wants to hear his breath hitch, too.

He lets her explore for a few minutes, eyes watching as she moves and tilts and touches and bites and kisses. But when she squeezes him a bit more firmly he wraps his arm around her waist and rolls. She slides her knees up to fit his waist, cants her pelvis up to meet the nimble touch of his fingers and— _yes._

When he slides into her for the first time, it's everything she's ever wanted and it's too much. She can't hold on. Fingers dig into the skin of his shoulders and she seeks out his lips with her own because  _it's so much_  and she needs  _something_ to ground her.

He groans against her lips. Whispers a curse and feels so  _powerful_  even though it's  _him_  that's grinding into her. Katara throws her head back, arches her back and her hips so that she can meet him thrust for thrust, grind for grind. Because she's going to give him back everything that he's giving her.

If anyone asked her what it felt like, she wouldn't be able to describe it. It's  _wonderful_  but that's too simple of a word. And what she—he— _they_  are feeling right now? It's everything but simple.

Zuko whispers her name over and over, repeating it like it's something holy and beautiful and she opens her eyes to meet his, barely able to make out the amber circles because of all the black. And she can't help herself—she pushes him back, pulls on her stomach so that when he sits back she can keep him inside of her. Katara wraps her arms around his back, holding her to his body as she slides her hips against his.

Her knees dig into the mattress. His breath is hot against her neck. She's cramping but she doesn't  _care_  because the feel of his hands against hers and the way his body moves inside her, touching everything that feels good and wonderful, more than makes up for it.

She wants to reach the end— _knows_  it's coming—but she  _never wants this to end._

But it does. Soon, everything becomes overwhelming and heightened and she clamps around him as she squeezes his shoulders and arches her back, hair tumbling off her shoulder and he catches her cry with his lips. And then he's coming, and she's shaking in his arms and he's trying to catch his breath.

When she slackens against his shoulder, he cradles her against him, brushes his lips against her forehead before meeting her own. They're sated, for now, but he's still here and under her and  _warm_  and…here.

Katara smiles, something sloppy and wraps her fingers around his hair.

 _He_  smiles. Eyes bright and happy and filled with so much emotion and he looks like he wants to say something but can't find the words. So, he settles for another kiss, another touch along the base of her spine that she  _can_  feel and makes her shiver.

Zuko leans back, lies down and slips out of her so that she can curl into his side. He draws a sheet around them and pulls it up before brushing her hair out of her face.

She feels so warm and slack that she can't do anything but feel him place a ginger kiss on her forehead as her eyes slide closed. He wraps himself around her and pulls her in.

"Despite everything, Katara, I wouldn't change a thing. I wouldn't be right here with you if I did, and I can't stand thinking that."

Katara smiles and nudges her way closer to him and he laughs a little, holds her tight against him.

They're together.  _Free_ , together.

She wouldn't trade this for anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO SORRY ABOUT THE LONG WAIT OMG. But here it is. Yipee!
> 
> Zuko's new name is Takeshi Kaneshiro's character in House of Flying Daggers, one of my favorite movies. Plus, idk. When I think of good hair, I think of Kaneshiro's ponytail in HoFD and Zuko's in AtLA. Katara's is, of course, her mother's name.
> 
> I'm also very, very sorry for a) the sappiness b) the kiss/smut-ish scene. I'm so awkward at writing romance and is it bad that I felt more comfortable writing Hama's death scene than that? Sure, it was harder to write but it was more natural. and I've only written smut like twice before so…yeah. It's a work in progress!
> 
> As you can tell, this story is drawing to a close. We only have 1-2 more chapters left! Your support means everything and I can't thank you enough for helping me reach nearly 500 reviews! I never expected this and am in complete awe. :D


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: FIRST LET ME APOLOGIZE FOR THE LONG WAIT GUYS I AM SO SORRY. School caught up and then work and whew it has been an insane amount of months, let me tell you.
> 
> Okay, before you start reading please know that as usual, this is roughly unedited because I just wanted to get this to you guys ASAP. Also it moves very, very fast.
> 
> See you at the bottom!

 

"Do you want to go to Lu Ten?" Zuko asks the first night they were in Oma's inn. Katara lies on the bed next to him, blinks against the sole candle that lit the room so that Zuko can read the map marked with safe houses. Lu Ten's gift.

She turns on her side to face him, catches his eye in the dark and wonders aloud, "Do you?"

He thinks for a moment and looks back at her. "It isn't my family that was there, Katara. You don't have to decide now, but…"

 _Her family_. Katara left them on the boat—Aang, Sokka, Hakoda, Toph. She left them to a fate so that she could make her own path.

Selfish? Perhaps. But Katara didn't regret her decision then and she doesn't now. Doesn't think she ever will. There are too may possibilities now. Uncertain ones, yes; but possibilities. An adventure of her own making with her own decision and choices.

Katara sits up and dangles her legs over the side of the bed to face him. She takes the map, looks at the markings and sees  _Yunchen Valley._  The house he will be in within a few days. They could make the trip. Leave here tomorrow and trek through the forest to there just in time to hear the news about the battle, if he survives.

She blinks and moves, holds the edge of the map over the candle and watches as it blackens.

The fire eats away at it and she drops it in the empty bathing bowl, lets it disappear forever.

Katara left that life behind. She will not be dragged into that horror again. She left it, and with that, she left behind any and all right to know if those she abandoned lived or not.

That guilt won't be hers to bear. Not anymore.

Zuko smiles.

-/-

She wakes, something similar to a protest on her lips when she realizes the sun is up and rolls over, expecting air but meeting warm flesh. For a moment, she's confused, but then she remembers.

_Zuko._

His hands brush through her hair in a calming, stroking rhythm that reminds her of water against a shore and she sighs, content now and curls up against the warmth of his body. She could stay here forever, she realizes. Forever and be absolutely content.

"You're awake," he notices, hand leaving her hair to splay across her bare back that is otherwise exposed to the air.

She makes a bitter noise in the back of her throat and his chest rumbles with laughter beneath her cheek. His fingers twine back through her hair.

"And demanding."

"You've finally noticed?" Katara questions with a lazy smile. "Just how long did that take you?"

"Too long." His reply isn't just for the  _demanding_ —and the double meaning make something in her knees quake.

Katara moves her head so that she can lay on the pillow beside him, chest still pressed against his side as a long, dark calf twines between his. Zuko looks over at her, hair mussed from sleeping and sex and eyes half-lidded with both desire and rest. He's rarely looked so beautiful.

"Too long," Katara confirms. "But I'm no better."

Zuko hums something that she doesn't catch in response but she doesn't ask for clarification because his lips are catching hers and his hand tightens around her waves. Need prods against her thigh and she can't help but laugh, breathy and happy and she realizes that they will probably never be sated.

They're never going to leave the bed.

With a fresh sheen of sweat across their skin and fast breaths escaping their lips, they collapse against the bed for what feels like the eighth time since they first crawled into it. Katara knows different though—it's  _at least_  the ninth.

She flicks her wrist and she's clean of him inside of her. Zuko's fingers are tracing small circles on her belly and he asks, "Why do you do that?"

It takes her a moment to reply. "I don't want to bring children into this world just yet. This isn't…it isn't the proper place or time."

Zuko is quiet for a moment. Has she offended him?

His body slides over hers and her knees part for him automatically, allowing his hips to settle in the divide between hers but he doesn't stop. He slips down, presses a tender kiss to the imaginary circle he traced and curls her knees around his elbows before hooking them over his shoulders.

" _Zuko_ —" She whines in protest, a bubble of laughter escaping into a hitched breath as he dips his head, kisses the still-sensitive part of her body that he's becoming more than attached to.

"You would make a wonderful mother," Zuko murmurs against her skin. Katara's eyes close and she lifts her hips, begs him with her body to keep going and he relents. Electricity glides underneath her skin and  _oh, gods._

She knows she would. Katara has always loved children and they've loved her. Especially the village children. They find her darker skin and light eyes interesting and love the way that she tells them about other villages in the Earth Kingdom.

"Can you imagine that? Having a family here? A place where we will be safe and have a life?" Zuko's talking too much and Katara threads her fingers through his hair, re-directs her attention to where she needs it most and he complies instantly, nails scraping against the flesh of her calf and she shivers.

The image stays—two children, dark-skinned and golden-eyed, beautiful beyond belief and ripe with love and care. Zuko would be a fantastic father. She'd be a wonderful mother. And she'd walk around the village, swelled with their child that they created together and—

A moan slips past her lips and her back arches, an invisible string tugging her up and her free hand frantically searches for his. When he grasps it, she twines her fingers around his to keep her grounded and her whole body is shaking, quivering.

Zuko is quick as he glides up her body and her eyes snap open, angry and narrowed because she was  _nearly there_  and he  _stopped_  but then he's inside of her and she can't even be mad now.  _This_  is home.

Her hands cup his cheeks and his breath is hot as it fans against hers. Katara can't stop looking at him and he isn't breaking away from her. Her hips crest and fall against his and she's shudders from the sheer feeling of it all.

Dark hair brushes against her forehead as he rests his against hers. His skin is hot—almost too hot and she's completely engulfed with him. By him. This is everything and all that sex should be.

When she peaks, all she can think about is the way he looks. The way that his eyes flash when they meet hers and the way that he feels against her and how they really do fit perfectly together and the way he makes her feel and how it would look if they ever did have a child—

She's completely sated by the time he comes, hot and wet inside of her and her entire body is like jelly. Zuko rests against her and normally, the weight might bother her but she loves how he feels pressed against her so much that she can't even think about pushing him to the side.

When he finally pulls away, Katara hesitates for a moment before she flicks her wrist.

A child would be nice. But...not now.

Zuko curls her tighter against his side and presses a kiss to her forehead.

-/-

If Irrih notices something different about Katara, she doesn't point it out at first. Instead, her eyes slant in something that's similar to confusion and wicked interest and Katara sighs, knowing that as soon as the two are alone she will be badgered with questions.

Katara tucks a strand piece of hair that's escaped her braid back behind her ear, sighs as she scrubs the table in Oma's harder to clean off the sauce stains.  _Drunks_ , always a messy bunch.

Finished, she slaps the rag back into the bucket and hauls it behind the counter, wipes her hands clean and dry on the front of her apron and takes a glance at Irrih. Burning, curious eyes stare back as her hand motions for them to slip into the back.

She shakes her head and goes to one of the farther back tables. Questions will have to wait. Katara knows that she certainly won't be able to evade Irrih for long but she still needs time to gather herself and try to figure out what she'll be asked and how she'll reply.

"Can I get you two anything?" Katara asks as she comes up to the two men. They're caught in a conversation and don't bother to look at her as they slide their mugs towards her. She takes them, annoyed but wordless and heads back to the bar.

Irrih snatches them, ducks her head. "You are  _glowing_!" She hisses. "Are you pregnant?  _Please_  tell me that you are—oh my gods, you are! You're preg-!"

"Irrih," Katara snaps before her voice could escalate further. "I'm not pregnant." It's only been a few days and while she doesn't completely know the answer, she doesn't want to discuss this right now. "Can you please just fill those up?"

She huffs but takes the mugs. "You know, you've been awfully different these past few days. What's with it?"

"Nothing, I've just,"  _haven't been sleeping full nights. am practically exhausted from blessing each and every surface in their hut with Zuko. have never felt more boneless and happy than I do now. am honestly thinking of leaving early just so I can be waiting in bed for him before he gets home._  "Tired. Just, tired."

"Pregnant."

"Tired."

"Whatever you say," Irrih says primly, sliding the mugs back to her and smirks, "I think it'd be great."

Katara resists the urge to role her eyes as she takes the refilled mugs. Leaving Irrih, she returns and sets the mugs back down on the men's table. No thanks, no glance. She tries not to be too peeved as she heads toward another table.

"Can I get you anything?" She parrots to the table of three.

The female makes steady eye contact and shakes her head with a smile. "No, thanks." Katara smiles back and moves to walk away when she's called back by a, "hey!" The woman's eyes are taking her in but the smile hasn't left. "Do I know you from somewhere?"

Katara eyes the woman, tries to place her face but can't. "No, I don't think that you do. I'm sorry."

"You look familiar. Doesn't she look familiar?" Both men turn to look at her anyway and they shrug.

"I get that a lot," she replies lamely. "You may have seen me in here before or around the village."

The woman shakes her head. "No, no it's definitely from somewhere else."

"Let her get back to working." One of the men presses. "You clearly are confusing her with someone else."

"Maybe so," the woman sighs. "I'm sorry. Thank you anyway, though."

Katara smiles. "No problem."

There's a nervous shake in her hands as she departs from the table—maybe the woman  _does_  recognize her. Have they fought before? Has she done things to her?

 _No_ , Katara forces with a shake of her head. She won't think of it. Things are going good now, for her and for Zuko and to dwell on the past will only lead to heartache and she's not willing to do that. She's gone this long without so much as a thought of ice and fire and she won't go back and relapse.

The nights have just gotten long again. Nightmares haven't plagued her for weeks and…Just no.  _No_. She sets the pitcher on the bar with a bit of force. She won't relapse all for a little worry and a confused woman.

"You alright?" Oma asks a bit of a ways down. Katara glances up to realize the older woman is looking at her with what looks like concern and Katara breaths out a laugh, tucks a stray piece of hair from her braid behind her ear.

"Yes, just lost in thought. Sorry."

"She's pregnant!" Irrih calls from... _somewhere._

Katara looks at Oma. "I'm not pregnant."

"Irrih, mind yer own business," Oma scolds with a roll of her eyes before she turns back to Katara, then down to her belly. "No, yer not. I've seen enough mothers to know what one looks like."

Even though Katara knew that pregnancy probably wasn't possible, hearing that both makes her happy and a bit upset. Maybe… _Maybe children with Zuko wouldn't be so bad?_  Little children with dark skin and light eyes?

Before, she never would have thought of having a family. But they're so safe here and nothing's happened and—

She's pulled out of her thoughts by Oma pushing a mug towards her. "Table in the back."

Right.  _Work._  She gives Oma a sheepish smile as she picks the mug filled with foam and heads to the man with the dark hair and the light cotton shirt in the back. Setting it in front, she offers him a polite smile and a standard, "Please let me know if you need anything—"

"What's  _this_?" He spits, eyes flickering to her face and they narrow, two golden slits and she's so confused for a moment that all she can do it blink. "You're no Earth Nation."

"Ah—no. No, I'm not."

"What in the Hellish Spirits is Water Tribe  _scum_  doing in here?"

"Excuse me?"

"Get the fuck away from me. I don't want you serving me or anything that you  _touch_  comin' near me." He shoves the mug back into her chest, sloshing foam and liquid all over the front of her apron and her mouth drops in a gasp, barely catching it before it falls to the ground as she's propelled back a few steps.

There's quiet around her. Katara knows without even looking that eyes are on them now, but all she can see is this man. This man with the hair and the eyes and the Fire Nation blood and she's  _furious._

How dare he.  _How. Dare. He._

"Ex _-cuse me_?" Katara growls.

"You heard me."

"No, I don't think I did. Because from what I heard, you refused service because of my  _birth_  and I think you need to take that back and apologize."

The man sneers, stands and snatches up his belongings from the table. "Don't talk to me like that, girlie. Go back to your tribe where you belong. What's left of it, anyway." He cackles before adding, " _If_  there's anything left."

"Get out."

"I'm a customer, you can't—"

"I think it's time for you to leave," Oma says, voice hard and then she's right behind Katara. "I won't have anyone speakin' to my staff like that."

"I don't want to eat here anyways. Not with  _her_  hands touchin' my food and drink. No way. You should be ashamed of yourself for hirin' her in the first place."

Katara's palms begin to itch and she clutches on to the mug in her hands tighter.

"Best send her back on a boat up North. Better yet, some prison out in the West. That's where most of her kind are, the fuckin' traitors that they are."

"Don't  _speak_  of my people that way."

"There's hardly any of your people left! All of your kind's too dumb to know when they've lost a war. Too busy fightin' and preachin' about the next Avatar to notice that they're nothin' but an annoyance on the Empire."

"I  _will_  escort you out." Oma cuts, and Katara would be happy to hear her if she wasn't stuck on what the man was saying.  _Next Avatar…?_ What…?

The man grumbles something akin to  _bitch_  and  _water tribe sluts_  but he's gone and Katara's hands are shaking so badly that she has to press them against the table, close her eyes and breathe because the Monster is reeling its head inside of her and she needs to get it under control or else she'll be after him. Make him dance and scream and wail and swallow every slur he just threw in her face.

Oma doesn't touch her but that's fine. The woman just takes the mug from where Katara dropped it on the table. "Go home, you can have the day off. Tomorrow, too, if ya need it."

It's as much of a consolation she'll receive but it's enough.

Katara nods, pushes herself up so that her back is ramrod straight and doesn't look anyone in the eye as she tears the apron off and tosses it on the counter, bursting through the doors with only one name on her mind: Zuko.  _She needs Zuko._

She finds him in the woodwork near the forest. He's surprised when she comes up, shirtless and sweaty and he drops the axe he's holding to the ground when she's near. "Katar-?"

Katara seals her lips over his, grabs his shoulders and pushes him towards the forest because she needs something to ground her in the here and now. Something to busy her hands with because they're screaming to twist and churn and boil and bleed.

Zuko stumbles into the wood, hands clutching her waist and he pulls her deeper into the shadows of the trees, rests his back against a tree so she can dominate everything for a bit. But when her hands leave his shoulders to hike up her dress, he turns to slam her up against the wood.

She never thought timber scratches against her spine would feel so good.

When they're done, they collapse in a heap on the forest floor and she finally breathes. The feeling is gone, just like she suspected. Zuko is her savior, after all. Of course he'd be the one to make it all go away.

"What's wrong?" He asks, nose brushing against her hair while his fingers stroke her bare shoulder. He had yanked it down in the middle of their tryst and she's sure he left a bite mark there. But that's fine. She more than marked his chest and back with her nails.

"A man came in today. Mocked my people and my bloodline and I—" She shakes her head. "I can't think about it right now."

She feels him nod. "Okay." Then, a moment. "Is that what—ah— _this_  was about?"

Chuckling, she blushes before she turns on her knees so that she can look at him. "Maybe. I'm-sorry? I guess? You didn't have to do anything, I just—"

"You never have to apologize for that," he said with a humorous grin. "Honestly, I don't mind."

Katara swats him on the arm and he catches her wrist, pulls her towards him so that he can kiss  _her_ , something soft and sweet and she falls into his chest as he deepens it. Lights her on fire and she can taste electricity on the tip of his tongue.

This is good, she thinks. This is home.

_This is home._

-/-

There are only so many other things that she can think about though. Zuko has to go back to his work and she has to return home. Even after she's cleaned and cooked and washed what little clothes they had dirtied before, there is still another hour or two before Zuko returns home.

So, she sits at the table he built, taps the top with her fingernails and  _wonders._

Next Avatar? What did he mean by that? Aang was there and alive and he couldn't be killed, right? Not him, not her friend with the wide eyes and the precious heart. Never him.

The question burns in her chest and she  _has_  to know. She won't be able to do anything until she at least finds out.

The village they live in is only so big, and there are only so many inns. Since Oma booted him out of hers, Katara knows to immediately strike that one out. He wouldn't return there unless he was as stupid as he was cruel.

She goes to Habu's. A portly man with a kind smile, he shakes his head and tells her that no, no one that matches the description she gave has rested there—and wouldn't she like some root-wine to take back to her husband?

The next inn, however, is the lucky one. Brun tells her that  _yes,_ actually, a Fire Nation traveler did just return back. Katara concocts some story about how he overpaid at Oma's and Brun just lets her go back to his room. After all, she's a familiar face, and small villages never have been suspicious when it came to those.

A knife is tucked in the sleeve of her shirt and she slips towards the back where Brun had gestured. Stopping at the stranger's door, she raps her knuckles against the door and checks to make sure they're not being watched.

The door opens and she forces her way inside, pushing the man down to the ground as her foot catches him by the back of the ankles. He falls easily, landing with a  _thud_  and she shuts the door, locks it before pouncing on top of where he lays, surprised with his face half-smeared in shaving soap.

Knees braced on his arms, she has the blade pressed against his throat before he can even  _speak._

"Shout and I'll slit your throat, understand?" She asks, voice deadly and icy and this is all too familiar but she chooses not to dwell on that. Aang. Think of  _Aang._

He nods and Katara smiles and it's anything but pleasant.

Grabbing a fistful of his hair, she yanks his head back so she can get a better look at his eyes. "You spoke about the next Avatar. What did you mean by that?"

The man seems to settle for just a stony glare but Katara digs the blade into his throat  _just a bit_  and he sings like a bird. "You haven't heard, have 'ya? The old Avatar's dead. Died a few months ago or somethin'."

Her fingers dig into his scalp. "How do you know this?"

"Word gets 'round."

It feels as if her insides are clenching up. "W-Who did it?" Azula? Ozai himself? Which fire was the one that snuffed Aang's light?

He chuckles, chest rumbling beneath her thighs. "From what I hear, it was one of the Tribesmen. Shoved ice through his heart 'cause of some argument. Didn't think your own kin would do that, right? Kill the damn  _Avatar_ , of all people."

Brow furrowed, she shakes her head. "You're lying." Her kind would  _never_  do that. Aang was the only one they had left…He was their last hope. No—not  _their_ , he was the Water Tribe's last hope. The resistance.

"Sure about that? I heard he was getting out of hand, questioning shit he shouldn't have been and he let some Fire Nation soldier go. Pissed off the wrong people."

"My people wouldn't do that. This is just— _lies._  That's what it is. Lies."

"You're somethin', aren't ya? Tell me, Water Tribe, who's next in the cycle? What element is after Air? Now, why would the Fire Nation try to kill the Avatar when the next is gonna' be born in the Water Tribe? That doesn't make any sense now, does it?"

…But the Water Tribe…if the Avatar was born in Water then they could- _oh no._

She's going to be sick.

Hahn's always wanted someone he could control. And Katara had always been ridiculed for having so much influence over Aang… Maybe…

She's thrown to the right and her head smacks against the wood floor with a crack. Katara blacks out for just a moment but it's enough time for their positions to be switched. Now she's pressed into the ground and he's suffocating her, squashing her underneath his weight and his fingers are grabbing for her knife.

_He's not a bender._

She holds onto her weapon with everything she has, even as he gives up and just presses down on her arm, forces the blade toward her throat instead of his and it's a breath away from her thin skin.

The knowledge that he clearly isn't a bender makes her want to take that advantage—to drown him or make him choke on his own air but she can't because that would be inviting the Monster bac in again and she doesn't want that—she just wants him to  _get off of her._

With a guttural cry, she pushes through his force, arm flying away from her face and the blade slicing at his brow before its flung away. He lets out a hiss and Katara plants her boots against the wood and  _twists_  her hips one way as she forces her knees up between his legs.

Pushing, she slides out from underneath him and rolls onto her stomach, knees and elbows scraping against the floor as her fingers stretch and clamber for the weapon.

He's on her again, weight pressing her hip bones into the floor and he's breathing in her ear. She scowls, clenches her teeth as she reaches, reaches,  _reaches_  with everything she has before he throws her back onto her back, slaps her hand away and knocks her face to the side.

"I'm going to end you, Water Tribe—" Katara backhands him as he starts to throw a slur, catching him off guard and he grabs a hold of her wrists, forces them to the ground on either side of her head and she squirms to get him off of her but she can't. She's trapped.

The doorknob twists and there's the sound of someone beating against it, words that she can't hear because his hand lets go of one of hers and presses against her throat, squeezes it as his lips curl up in a vicious, angry sneer.

_She can't breathe—she can't breathe—she's going to die here with this man after everything she's been through and Zuko's not going to know where she went or why and she has to tell him about Aang and—_

Something roars inside of her and strength floods her veins. The grip on her throat leaves and his eyes widen in horror. It takes her a moment to realize that her fingers are tweaked, crooked in that all-too-familiar way but there's ice running through her veins again, pumping through her heart.

She looks him straight in the eye.

And then she flexes her hand, squeezes his heart.

It's all too easy.

_It's all too easy._

-/-

Katara runs.

They'll find him, she knows they will and they'll know she killed him. But how? They'll ask but they'll never find out. But she has to get out of here before they can do that. She has to pack their things fast and find Zuko and they  _have to get out of here._

She's a fury in her home. Food, clothes, and coins are thrown in worn bags. Everything else is left behind-everything that says they ever tried to start a life together.

Zuko isn't at home and she's probably forgotten a million things but they need to  _leave._ Sticking to the forest, she runs to where he'll be at the woodyard and hopes that he's still there and hasn't been in town yet. She doesn't want him to know that she slipped from rumors, she wants him to hear it from her.

"Zuk— _o_ ," she hisses in relief when she sees him. His back is to her and he's talking to someone. No, two people, because one's coming out of the shed and she immediately recognizes them as the Fire Nation soldiers. The woman that recognized her and her men.

Katara stumbles to a halt and throws herself behind a shed, catches her breath as her chest heaves because she can't just go running up to them. Not like this.  _But they need to leave. Right now. Before news reaches here which could be any minute._

Sliding the packs off of her shoulders, she drops them where she stands and strengths her shift, pats her hair and soothes it into something somewhat presentable before she takes a deep breath. When she walks from behind the shed and towards the small group, she tries to fixate a pleasant smile on her lips, hides her shaking hands in her pockets.

"Jin," she calls out and he turns, beams when he sees her even though they just saw each other—fucked each other underneath the trees—just an hour or so ago.

"Kya," he says, gesturing for her to come closer and he only hesitates a moment before he turns back to the three soldiers. "This is my—my wife."

"We've met," the woman says, recognizing Katara. "You work down at the Inn, right? Had that run-in with that nasty citizen earlier. You doing okay?"

Katara nods. "I'm doing fine," she says as she slides her hand into Zuko's and squeezes. "Being alone for a bit— _ahm_ —really helped."

The woman seems pleased at that. "Good, good. Don't let people like that mess with you. We know that not all Tribesmen are bad. It's just the Rebels that we have a problem with." She chuckles. Zuko squeezes her hand back.

"Right," Katara says, false agreement.

"It's good to see that a Fire Nation boy married a Water Tribe girl. Strange, but good. Makes me think that maybe this war will be over sooner rather than later," one of the male soldier says, nodding kindly to the two.

"It's hardly a war," the woman scoffs with a snort. "Not anymore, at least."

"Yeah but you know what I meant."

Katara chuckles, something a bit nervous and she pulls on Zuko's arm as she steps back. "It was a pleasure seeing you three again, but I have supper cooking and I just…"

The other man fixes his robes and blue beads catch her eye. Blue, white, and a black with a white etching on it that speaks of Southern Tribe art. Zuko glances down at her but she can't look away, too absorbed by the necklace of beads around his neck because she  _knows_  those.

They're her father's. Southern Tribe Chiefs pass down black beads as a symbol of transitioning power.

And this man—this Fire Nation soldier—he's wearing them around his neck.

"Wh…Where did you get those?" She asks. Hesitates as she moves to step forward as if the colors of the beads will change upon closer inspection.

The man looks down at his necklace. "These are honorary tokens for my service. I fought in one of the deciding battles and…well…I received this as a trophy." He hooks a finger around the string, pulls it out a bit so she can get a better look at them.

Black. Southern Tribe script.

"Kya?" Zuko reaches for her but she can't look away.

"Is she all right?" The woman asks, concerned.

"Did he die? The man you took those from— _did he die?_ "

The man blinks. Confused, he nods a bit, "I believe he was taken for execution. All of the Leaders were."

Katara's chest heaves. Her father—executed.  _All of the leaders were._ Him, Sokka. They were killed. Executed by Fire and she—she— _she—_ she expected this but she had no idea that…she never would have guessed that…

"They're dead," she whispers. They're dead and she wasn't there. She left them. She left them to die on a ship and now they're dead.

Aang, Hakoda, Sokka. They're…dead. Everyone she cared for, her  _family_ , they're all dead and she did this. This is all her fault and why did she leave? why didn't she protect them? why did she let this happen— _why did this have to happen?_

Zuko's trying to pull her away from the soliders and she's limp as he carries her away a bit. He's mumbling something to the soldiers about how she experienced war traumas as a refugee and they're still so confused.

Katara yanks away from Zuko because she has to know. She wasn't there for their final moments and she needs to know what happened. It's stupid and reckless and she  _knows_  they may kill her but  _she has to know she has to know she has to know she has to know_.

"How did they die? How are prisoners executed in the Fire Nation? Tell me— _how did they die?_ "

"What are you-?"

" _How did they die?!"_

"Kat-ya, c'mon. Let's just go home, okay?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"Just tell me how they died."

"That's a strange question to ask."

"I just need to know how they died. Tell me."

The woman narrows her eyes at Katara. "They're beheaded."

A beheading. Fast, swift, painless. That's—that's good, right? That's good that they didn't suffer any in their final moments. She should be thankful for that, right? She should be thankful that at least she didn't send them to a painful death.

"Let's go home," Zuko urges and she wonders if he knows. She wonders if he knows that her family is dead and that Aang's probably dead and how her whole world is crumbling down because  _what was she thinking?_ She couldn't escape this. She couldn't escape what she had created—what they created—what she had lived for for so long.

She was so  _stupid_  to think that she could get away from it. And she was stupid for thinking that she could just forget her family like this. It was all so easy when there was still a chance that they were alive, right? But now-now that she knew it was different. So, so different.

Look what leaving had done. Katara was still killing. And she didn't even need a war to do it.

"No, I think she should stay with us. You, too. You both need to stay and answer a few questions." The woman soldier requests.

"I'm sorry, my wife, she's been through quite a lot and she just really needs to rest right now. Perhaps some other time?"

The woman glances to the two men and they shrug. "Tomorrow morning. I want her to come to me and explain just what she's seen and what she knows. Get her to bed before she faints."

Zuko nods and his pulls are more insistent. Katara stumbles as she's yanked along and she can't tear her eyes away from her father's beads around the man's neck and it feels so wrong to let them stay there because they're not  _his_  and it's all she's seen of her family since she left those months ago but she can't force herself to go after them.

She's numb inside.

Behind the confines of the shed, Zuko immediately wraps his hands around her arms and asks, "What was that about, Katara? What happened?"

"They're dead." It's all she can say.

"Who? Who's dead."

"Everyone." Katara shakes her head. "Aang, my father and brother. They're dead." A weak, pitiful laugh. "That's not even counting the man in the Inn."

He looks dumbfounded. Like he can't even comprehend what she's saying and he looks away, spots the bags down the wall and he whirls back to her. "What happened, Katara? Tell me everything."

"There's no point now. We might as well just let them get me. They know, I know they will. And once they find out who I am, I'm as good as dead, right? Do you think they'll just execute me like they did my brother and father? Something swift and painless? I don't want to feel any pain, Zuko. I know I deserve it but I don't want it—"

"No,  _listen_ , you're not going to die, okay? You're going to stay with me, alright?"

"No, no I  _killed_ him, Zuko. I'm no good, I'm not  _better_. Look at what I did. Look at what I've done."

"That's not important. You're staying with me. You already packed everything, right? We'll just go somewhere else, we'll find another village to stay in and I'll take care of you and we'll try to—we'll try to forget about this and everything will be good again."

" _My family is_ dead _, Zuko!"_ She screeched, shoving at his chest. "They're dead and I'm a monster. A fucking  _monster_  all overa gain and I'll  _never get better_ , don't you understand? I can't be saved, nothing is  _right_  and I was  _stupid_  for ever—"

"—calm down, they'll hear us—"

"I don't care! Let them hear me. They took my father's beads and killed him and I—I couldn't save him and I left him there. I brought this on him and— _oh, spirits_ —this is all my fault and I can't even help myself—oh, gods."

Furiously, she shook her head. This wasn't right. None of this was supposed to happen like this. She and Zuko were just going to leave all of this behind and forget that it ever happened. Live normal lives like everyone else and start a family and just be in love and have a home and work and raise their kids and grow old together— _but everything about this was so, so wrong and how could she ever think that she deserved happiness when she had done what she did?_

"Katara, please," he begged, cupping her cheeks and tilting her face back to where he could see her, back to hwere she had to stare him in the eyes and she shut hers because she couldn't bear to look at him, "please listen to me. We're going to leave here, okay? We're going to leave all of this behind.

"I'm sorry about your family but we have to leave this behind. This—This was going to happen, you knew that it was a possibility. Now we just…we have to move on. We need to leave, quickly. "

"Zuko, I can't."

"No. No, don't say that. I know you're hurt right now but we need to go. We have to get away from here and—we'll be okay, you'll see."

Behind them, they hear shouts. Cries. The body—they've found it.

And soon they'll see the ice on his lips and they'll know who it was.

"Katara, c'mon. We need to—"

"Okay," she says, clearing her throat. "Okay, I'll—We'll go." She doesn't know how she'll do it but she has to try, right? For him?

Katara deserves nothing but Zuko doesn't even care. He just wants her and him and for them to be safe. Together.

"We'll stick to the forests for a while, okay? I'll help you, we'll help each other. You'll make it through this, I promise," he tucks a strand of hair behind her ears, his touch gentle as it brushes against her cheek. "We'll get there together."

"Together?"

"Together." Zuko nods. "Because I lov—"

" _Stop._ " It's not her or him and Katara's heart drops to her stomach. They've been found. "You two, step away from each other."

It's the woman soldier. She's fierce and stern and her hands are at her sides, moving just slightly as Katara finally looks at her.  _She knows._

"Step away from each other." She repeats. There's movement on their other side and Katara just knows that it's another soldier. They're trapped.

This is it.

Instead of moving away, Zuko brings Katara in tight against his chest.

"Let us go," he says. "We won't hurt you or anyone else if you just let us go in peace. We're not those people anymore—"

" _Quiet_ ," one of the men spits. Katara buries her head in Zuko chest, turns away from her fate and clutches him because he's the last thing she has. "Neither one of you are going anywhere except with us to the Capital."

Katara can sense the heated blood that runs through their veins and  _knows_  they're benders. Zuko and her—they would've been able to fight them off months ago but now? When neither of them have used their element in so long?

Bloodbending aside, Katara isn't sure how they're going to get out of this one. To be honest, she isn't so sure if she deserves to get out of it. But Zuko… Zuko needs to.

"Zuko," she whispers, tilting her face up to look at him—his scar, his hair, his eyes and she feels her heart clench in her chest with the knowledge of what has to happen. She doesn't deserve to live because she can't fight her demons. But Zuko, Zuko can and he has. He's done so well and she knows he can survive without her. He doesn't need her like she needs him. He's strong.

He's so strong.

Zuko looks down at her, fierce and determined and of course he'd think they could make it out together. The man that saved her life over and over again would think he could do it again. But Katara knows. She knows that her time has come. Her savior can't reach down to rescue her again.

Even gods can only do so much.

Hama is dead. Katara is the only bloodbender. The only Monster in existence. If she can't defeat it now then she probably never will. And this  _must end_  with her.

She rests her forehead against his, curls her fingers in his hair, and he reminds her of safety and security even though they are far from it.

"I love you," he says, "I know this is a bad time but—"

Katara can't help but laugh even though her eyes are clouding with tears. "I love you, too. So, so much."

" _Enough_ -!" The woman hisses. "Back away from each other now."

Katara lowers herself to the ground but she can't bring herself to let go of him. He's warm and he's here and he makes her feel like she's not alone. Her family and Aang are gone but Zuko's here and he said that he was going to stay. Even after she told him what she did… He was going to stay.

Now it was over. All of their dreams and hopes…gone. Zuko doesn't want to fight anymore and neither does she. The bloodlust is gone and she…she doesn't want to die that person. She doesn't want to die as the Monster.

And Zuko. If he goes to the Capital…as a traitorous prince? He'd possibly get a much worse death than she. This…It won't end well for either one of them. The tightness in his shoulders tells her that he's thinking the same.

Looking up at him, she asks him a question with her eyes and he swallows before he nods. His hands squeeze where he's holding her. Nervous. So is she.

She lifts a hand, points it right to the woman even though she's looking right in Zuko's eyes.

Two heartbeats aren't hard to find when they're beating together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for staying with me throughout this year and a half. You guys mean the world and your support means everything to me. I'm so glad that you stuck with me despite the crazy wait times! I hope that I didn't let you down.
> 
> Yes, this is the final installment of G&M. I hope that it wasn't too disappointing, and while I certainly cried a few tears, I truly believe this was the only way that it could have ended.
> 
> As usual, if you have any questions, comments, or concerns, message them to me on here or on my Tumblr. Please tell me what you thought about this chapter in a review. I read them all even if I don't reply to every one! I love you guys so much and I always look forward to hearing what you have to say.
> 
> Again, thank you so much. I've met so many wonderful people on this journey and I appreciate your support so, so, so, so much. You guys genuinely are the best.
> 
> Until next time,
> 
> WBWB
> 
> P.S.: If you would like to know what happened to some characters or are curious to see "what happened" at the end, you can ask me on tumblr and I'd be more than happy to answer. I'm at wannabewonderbender dot tumblr dot com


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